Chapter 21
Twenty-One
As the second day since Esmeray’s capture ends, my panic mounts.
The Stigian scouts have had no luck in finding where she’s located.
Allaji is mostly a wasteland of dirt and little vegetation.
There are no villages, or at least not like ours, and it’s impossible to stumble upon any information when most of the citizens of the kingdom prefer their animal forms.
Solving our dilemma with the Allaji has become Kyron’s primary focus.
He spends every possible minute with Lucent and Stigian’s top strategy advisors, concocting spy missions and mapping out the best ways to scour a desolate land.
For the past two nights, he has remained in his office reading about every war the Allaji fought in, learning their tactics.
He refuses to rest until his mother is home, and our kingdoms have a plan to ensure our peoples’ safety.
Borin hasn’t been much better than my parah.
He has spent countless hours researching our adversary, reading through tomes, and visiting elders who are rumored to have visited Allaji before the shifters depleted the land.
He has a knack for finding information. But I’m positive he’s in it for the distraction it offers, giving him a small reprieve from the memories that haunt him.
I spend my days with my father and his soldiers training.
If we’re going into battle, I want to lead the way.
My people need to see a queen who doesn’t fear the Allaji and will fight alongside them.
Greer challenges me in ways that no one else has.
She is ruthless in her training tactics, and if I’m being honest, I like it.
The strenuous regiment dulls the constant ache inside me.
Unfortunately, the same can’t be said at night.
I eat dinner with my family and friends, leaving the host’s chair at the head of the table empty and hoping Kyron will make an appearance.
He doesn’t, opting to eat in his office while he continues to work.
When I retreat to the room I stayed in during my last visit, my thoughts turn dark.
I lay in the ostentatious bed, blanketed in satin sheets, and think of everything I held at bay during my day.
Visions of Micah dying on the palace lawn appear every time I close my eyes.
If I’m able to keep my eyes open, I’m staring at the carvings in the gilded ceiling and contemplating the future of every Lucent, including my family. My mind is in constant torment.
Tonight, I’ve chosen a different route. Instead of lying in bed doing nothing, I’m going to make something right. It’s a conversation long in the making, and the results will be lifechanging for two people.
A gentle rap comes from my door, and I smooth down the full skirt of my dark-gray dress as I cross the room.
Taking a deep breath and slowly exhaling, I cleanse all my other worries and focus on what I’m about to do.
I open the door, and for the first time in days, my lips pull into a genuine smile.
“You wanted to see me?” Leif asks.
“I did,” I say, stepping aside and gesturing for him to enter.
He breezes past me with his normal carefree stride and collapses on the plush settee next to the fireplace. “Kyron is trying to kill me. He’s non-stop, question after question. I think I’ve given him every feasible way to move through Allaji and minimize detection, but he wants more.”
I cross my arms over my chest and watch as my best friend shrugs out of his uniform jacket and kicks his feet up on the table in front of him. He is so comfortable in my presence, as I am in his. Things between us are always this easy.
He stops pulling loose the string at the neck of his tunic, and his eyes dart around the room. “What? Did you expect me to bow?”
The question makes me laugh. “No. Please don’t bow. Salone has been ‘Your Majesty-ing’ me to death. I can’t stand another person doing it too.”
“The girl takes her job seriously.”
I ease into the chair across from him and fidget with the iron ring on my finger. “I get that. I suppose I’m the same way with my new job. It’s not like I was given a choice.”
“Yeah. This wasn’t an easy transition,” Leif says, some of the luster fading from his voice.
I didn’t bring my best friend here to dwell on what we cannot change. Far from it. I push forward and lighten the conversation. “No, but it comes with some perks.”
“You don’t say. Like what? A vacation to a Stigian palace and endless strategy meetings?”
Quirking my lips, I tilt my head side to side. “I was thinking more like having the power to change someone’s life.”
He folds his arms behind his head and rolls his eyes. “I think you’re taking this queen thing a little too far.”
“Maybe, but I was specifically thinking about Wel.”
He stiffens at the mention of his boyfriend and gives me his full attention. “What about him?”
“I like him.”
“Obviously, so do I.”
Leif has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember.
I’ve seen him at his worst and his best, but never have I seen him like this.
One wrong word on my part, and I’m certain that he would tear into me.
That’s saying a lot about his feelings toward Wel.
Never has he been so protective of someone he’s involved with that he would risk our friendship for them. This time is different.
I lean forward, bracing my arms on my knees. It’s the type of posture that would earn me a scolding during my tutoring lessons. No formalities are needed tonight, never with Leif.
“Wel deserves a life without the palace protocol. He should be free to display his affections openly for whomever he chooses,” I say.
His feet hit the floor with a thud, and he holds my stare as he replies, “He chooses me, and he understands what that entails.”
“I’m sure he thinks he does, but you and I both know how hard this life is. Don’t you think he deserves better?”
“What are you getting at, Elle?” Fear flashes in his hazel eyes, confirming that my decision is the right one.
“I know you were looking forward to a life of awkward public appearances with your wife and trying to figure out how we create an heir, but I think I’m going to pass on it.”
“What?”
I remove the ring from my finger and examine it.
The delicate iron piece is beautiful, created by the combination of Micah and Borin’s gifts.
It and its match on Leif’s finger were given to us with the best of intentions.
Micah hoped our union would usher in a new dawn for Lucent, but that future isn’t meant for Leif and me.
“I’m releasing you from our promise to marry,” I say with no uncertainty.
“Elle—”
I lift my hand and continue. “I want you to create a life with Wel that brings you happiness. The kind of life that others can look at and wish for themselves. I don’t want you to hide your love for each other. I want you to live it and let others experience how beautiful it is.”
He moves from the settee and kneels before me.
Taking my cheeks in his hands, he looks me straight in the eyes.
“Are you sure? Because I will marry you and we can have a happy life together. It has never been a burden to be betrothed to you. Never. I was marrying my best friend. What could be better than that?”
I grip his hand and press his knuckles to my lips. “One day marrying the person you are in love with. That can be much better than what I can offer you.”
This boy has always been by my side. He has seen me through every tough moment and offered me his shoulder to cry on. No one makes me laugh the way he does. He has been my confidant, my cornerstone. I’m thrilled to give that to Wel in its fullest extent.
“I understand cutting off our betrothal must be difficult for you, with me being so irresistibly charming and all.” I flash him a bright smile that I know lacks the charisma of his own. “But I have a parah. He might make some really stupid decisions for my sake, but I love him, Leif.”
His face lights up like the summer sun, and my heart swells at the sight. “I don’t think he will make that mistake again,” he says.
“I don’t think he will either.”
He kisses my cheek and whispers, “Thank you.”
I bask in his gratitude for a moment before I playfully shove his shoulder. “Go. Crawl in bed with your boyfriend and do whatever disgustingly romantic things you all do before morning comes. I’m sure Kyron will be bombarding you with new questions bright and early.”
With a rib-crushing hug, Leif wishes me a good night and practically skips out the door.
I lean back in the chair and turn the ring in my fingers.
It holds a new meaning for me now. No longer does it represent my betrothal, but it is a reminder of the powerful love between Micah and Borin.
It’s a small token that I will keep with me for the rest of my life.
I slide the band onto my right hand, freeing the finger for my future wedding ring.
My room is suddenly too quiet and my bed a cold reminder that I will spend another night alone.
Pain has dominated every second of my solitude, and I don’t want to face it alone again.
And I shouldn’t. My parah under the same roof.
We’re no longer separated by our kingdoms, and the rules are now ours to make.
I exit my room and follow the corridors that lead to Kyron’s office. When I reach his door, I lift my fist to knock but stop short as his voice bleeds through the heavy wood.
“I refuse to make her sit down with the Allaji if that isn’t what she wants to do.”
“She doesn’t have a choice. We need more time before we go to battle. Otherwise, our soldiers will be brutally slaughtered. We will continue to appear as an easy target until they return your mother. We must negotiate with them and reinforce our united front,” Borin replies.