Chapter 12
Twelve
RAELLE
The ache in my body is bone deep. Every joint and muscle screams in agony, sending my equilibrium spinning.
I stretch out the kinks, slowly breathing past the pain.
Sleep glues my eyes shut, and my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth.
I swear I haven’t moved in decades, and maybe I haven’t.
My last memory was plummeting into the sea, my skirt wrapped around my legs, making it impossible to swim to the surface.
I had to breathe to stop my lungs from burning.
Panic set in and all I remember thinking was, this is it—this is how I die, swallowed by the ocean.
My body forever lost at sea. Kyron would blame himself for not spotting Zek before he grabbed me.
And I would never get to say goodbye to everyone I loved.
As I surrendered to my fate and floated into the abyss, I smiled when a final thought entered my head.
At least I made it out of the trees and off the damn island.
Thankfully, those were not my last thoughts.
I pull the soft, worn blankets tucked around me to my face, rubbing away the sleep.
Harsh rays attack my sensitive eyes, and it takes me a moment to see the sun blazing through a small round window.
The scent of sea salt and weathered wood fills my lungs.
A small desk sits in the far corner, piled with yellow-tinted maps and books.
The wardrobe across from the foot of the bed is a simple but functional design, with one door swinging open and closed.
Nothing about the space is familiar until I lay eyes on the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen.
Kyron rests in a plush leather chair next to the bed.
His elbow is propped on the arm, and his chin is cradled in his palm.
With every slight movement of his closed eyes, his long lashes fan against his naturally golden skin.
I ease my naked body onto my side and pull the blankets snugly around me.
I absorb every inch of him from his outstretched legs, crossed at the ankles, to the three rogue strands of ebony hair that brush his forehead.
It’s hard to believe we’re in the same room, sharing the same air.
Kyron shifts and his eyes flutter open. My breath hitches at the sight. The color of his irises always reminds me of a solar eclipse—golden rays of sunlight, blazing behind the darkened moon. I dreamed of those eyes every night. My memory didn’t do them justice at all.
“Hello,” I whisper.
“Hi,” he says, his voice a groggy rumble.
Statera help me. How can a single word make my insides feel like they’re melting into a gooey mess? It’s an impossible question to answer. Confusion, hatred, lust, or love, Kyron LeFur has always had a powerful effect on me. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
He leans forward in his chair and brushes a strand of hair away from my cheek.
I lean into the touch, basking in the warmth of his skin on mine, but something is different.
I don’t feel the thrumming of his gifts like I once did.
Shadows don’t slither around my limbs and heat doesn’t spread through my veins.
The urge to control his power is gone, but the need to have him close is alive and well.
I recognize that desire immediately and release a long breath.
My transgressions against the Statera doesn’t seem to have cost us the parah bond.
The loss of the sensations I felt because of the Eporri causes a tiny pang of pain in my chest. I was so comfortable with the way things were.
His gifts felt like an extension of me and now that’s missing.
Yet I can’t be entirely saddened by that loss.
For the first time since we met, I feel our connection in its purest form, the way every other parah feels a connection to their match.
He moves to sit back again, but I stop him by entwining our fingers.
When I press the back of his hand to my heart, one side of his mouth pulls up.
His expression is tight, almost like he has forgotten how to smile.
I can understand if happiness feels foreign to him.
Our time apart was like years instead of weeks, and I didn’t know true happiness when I was away from him.
“Can I get you anything?” he asks.
“A glass of water.”
He goes to the desk where a wooden pitcher sits with two cups.
His black tunic is wrinkled like he has slept in it for days, and dirt streaks his leather breeches.
It makes me wonder if he’s wearing the same clothes he wore during the battle.
I don’t doubt it. Caring for himself would have been the last thing on his mind.
The well-being of me and the others on this ship would come before his own.
I’m sure he hasn’t left my side unless he was called away to deal with a pressing matter.
“Did everyone make it off the island?” I ask.
“No. Greer reported about two dozen missing.” The sorrow in his voice sends an ache to the center of my chest.
“What about Ulric and Ashavee?”
“He’s resting and the big cat switches between laying outside your door and guarding him at his bedside. She refuses to shift out of her animal form. It’s a little jarring for everyone on board after what we’ve been through. I’m sure she feels more secure as a predator.”
I give a weak smile and ask, “How long before we reach the Pliris port?”
Kyron returns to the bed with a full glass of water. “We should be there by tomorrow afternoon.”
Little delighted bubbles pop inside my stomach.
Home is so close, yet I can’t get there soon enough.
I miss my family so much. But the giddy feeling isn’t enough to drown out the pain.
I sit up with a groan and hold the blankets to my chest. My hand shakes as I take the cup from him and bring the rim to my lips.
Once the cool water hits my dry mouth, I can’t stop.
I swallow it in huge gulps until nothing is left.
“Do you want more?” he asks.
I shake my head and place the cup on the small bedside table. Sliding over on the mattress, I make room for him and lift the blankets.
He runs his hand over the back of his neck and clears his throat.
“You’ve been through a lot. The last thing I want is for you to feel obligated to pick up where we left off.
I know you love me just as much as I love you.
That’s all that matters to me. The rest will fall into place when you’re ready. ”
Anger boils in the pit of my stomach. It’s not aimed at him, but the circumstances that made him believe for one second that I need space from him.
Every day I was gone, I spent countless minutes daydreaming about being near him again.
I feared that my sins against the Statera would have dire ramifications for our bond.
Now that I have him within arm’s reach, I know the feelings I have are just as strong.
We’ve had too much time stolen from us, and I refuse to waste one more second.
“Take off your boots, get in this bed, and wrap your arms around me, Kyron. What I need right now is to feel you next to me, and I know you need it too.”
He chuckles and sits on the edge of the mattress. Pulling off a boot, he says, “It’s good to see that your demanding spirit is alive and well.”
“It’s good to see the whole king thing hasn’t gone to your head, and you don’t get offended by your subjects giving you orders,” I counter, pulling him back into the mattress with me.
“I’m not a good ruler, Raelle,” he says, tucking me into the crook of his arm.
“Are you questioning my ability to pick an heir?”
He shifts his head from side to side and says, “Your reasoning for choosing me has come into question with our people more than once.”
I lift my head and hold his gaze with mine. “I didn’t do much as queen, but I did choose the right person to rule Pliris.”
He brushes his fingers through my hair and lowers my head to his chest. The familiar scents of pine and cinnamon envelope me, and warmth spreads through my entire body.
I drape my leg over his, feeling the flex of his thigh against the inside of mine.
My fingers inch up his shirt until they find the soft skin below his throat and draw small circles. It feels good to touch him again.
Kyron’s hand trails down my spine and his body stiffens.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
So quietly that I almost can’t hear him, he says, “Your back. What did he do to you?”
Bile rises in my throat as his fingers trail over the five raised scars crisscrossing my back.
The searing sting of the whip is nothing compared to the gut-wrenching feeling I get witnessing the anger written on Kyron’s face.
It’s the type of rage that drives one to protect harder and stop at nothing to right a wrong.
It is anger fueled by an irrevocable love.
“You don’t have to tell me if you’re not ready.
Just know that I’m going to kill him,” he says.
“I’m going to pay him back for every bruise and cut on your body.
And when he is begging me to end his miserable life, I will kill him slowly.
I promise that I will pay him back tenfold for each time he hurt you. ”
The truth behind his words is unwavering.
The retribution he plans to get on my behalf is brutal but not shy of what I would do to anyone who hurt him.
.. what I’ve already done. I understand how it feels to have no limits for the one you love.
No price is too steep. No act too atrocious.
He would sell his soul to right what was done to me, but I’ll never let him do it alone.
I tilt my head to meet his gaze. “I’ll be with you every step of the way, and when the time comes, we’ll take him down together.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t find you sooner.”
I kiss the center of his neck. “But you did find me. I knew you would come.”
His eyes are glassy from the tears he fights to keep from streaming down his face.
I’ve seen him at some of the most tragic moments in his life, but this is like taking a blade to the center of my chest. I don’t want him to blame himself for the atrocious acts of Esmeray and Zek.
But it’s clear when his voice breaks with an apology that it will take time for him to get past that feeling.
“I’m sorry... so sorry.”
“Please don’t apologize.” I move my face closer, my lips brushing his as I say, “Even though you weren’t there, you carried me through it all.
I’d remembered what you told me about the sky.
When I looked out the window, I reminded myself that you saw the same stars and the same sun warmed your skin.
Nothing that happened to me in Allaji took root inside of me because I was focused on you. ”
He slides his fingers through my hair and tilts my head back.
His intense stare searches my eyes for several seconds.
I don’t look away under his scrutiny. He will find nothing but the truth and immense love coming from me.
His muscles relax and he releases a breath.
“I’m so fucking in love with you, Raelle. ”
“I love you, Kyron.”
He cups my cheek as I close the small distance between our lips. Warmth spreads throughout me and pools low in my stomach. One tiny taste of him has me desperate for more. I want to reside beneath his skin and swim through his thoughts. I crave nothing short of being consumed by him.
I grip the front of his shirt, desperate to keep him close.
I’ve gone too many nights imagining the stroke of his tongue and the warmth of his skin.
I held tight to the loving words he spoke to me, but I struggled to hear his voice in my head.
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t remember it quite right.
I refused to let go of the memories, but they slid away a little at a time, like grains of sand through my fingers.
With each loss, a piece of me went with it until gaping holes remained.
This one pure, tender kiss is a balm to those raw wounds on my soul.
Kyron moves his lips from mine and presses them to the tip of my nose and each eyelid.
A kiss to my forehead and the sensitive spot below my ear.
He pulls me in close, guiding my head to his chest. The rapid beat of his heart calms to a lulling rhythm.
I recognize its song as the one my heart sings when he is near.
It’s the crackle of a fire on a winter’s night, a hug after going without touch for too long, the sound of laughter and shared secrets.
It sings of safety and a love that will withstand this life and the next.
Every beat is the exquisite sound of his heart welcoming me home.