Chapter 16
Sixteen
RAELLE
I’ve had my moments of upsetting Kyron. We’ve butted heads on several issues.
Never have I seen him as angry as he was earlier today.
I had a feeling he wouldn’t like the choice I made, but I didn’t expect him to explode the way he did.
The impact of his quiet detonation was so powerful that it shook me to my core.
I was left with scrapes and bruises, and he seemed to bleed out before I could save him.
The urge to run after him propelled my feet into motion, but my father caught me before I could reach him.
He spoke reason into my frantic need to fix what I had done, talking me into giving my parah space.
I tried, busying myself with unpacking and going through the motions of my nightly routine.
When it all became too much, I resorted to pacing the corridor leading to the staircase to his room.
Thousands of steps later, my legs ache, and I’ve plopped down on the hard bottom step.
My back hurts, my stomach is rumbling, and I’ve shed quite a few tears. Still, I wait.
Footsteps echo down the corridor, and I sit up and smooth the soft pink skirt of my nightgown.
My breath hitches as I wait for Kyron to round the corner.
I have no clue what to expect, but my guess is that it will get worse before it gets better.
I’m willing to face that if it means making him understand why I did what I did.
My lips rattle with a long exhale and I prop my chin in my palm as Leif and Wel come into view.
The two look happy, walking hand in hand.
Their clothes are disheveled—tunics untucked and Leif’s sandy hair standing on end.
It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what they’ve been up to.
They have never been good at keeping their hands off each other.
My best friend nudges me over with his hip, squeezing next to me on the step. Old habits appear to be hard to break for Wel because he bows before leaning against the wall across from us.
“This is what you get for not stopping by to say hello to me first. I would have told you what a mistake that was going to be,” Leif says with a mixture of truth and playfulness.
“Unless you’re dying, I’m not seeing you before I see Kyron. And since when do you talk me out of bad ideas?” I flatly say.
“I would’ve talked you out of stripping naked and kissing Kyron’s boots. Talk about taking the servitude pledge to a new level, Elle.”
Wel shakes his head at Leif. “Stop. The rumors have gotten out of hand, but that’s not what people are saying.”
I shoot Leif a side-long glare. “Don’t self-insert your kinky fantasies with Wel into my life.”
“No need to fantasize when I’m living it,” my best friend quips.
Wel chuckles, running his hand over the black stubble on his head. His brown cheeks flood with crimson, and he turns away to hide them.
“You know, I was fine wallowing in my misery alone,” I grumble.
Leif knocks the side of my knee with his. “Liar.”
I am a liar. The only reason I’m still up at this ungodly time is because I want this sadness gone. It’s too heavy in my chest, crushing me until it’s hard to breathe. Kyron needs to hear why I made my choice, to know it wasn’t to hurt him. Far from it.
“Things look to be going well for the two of you,” I say, desperate for a change of subject.
They lock eyes and exchange smiles. The way they feel for one another is so clear.
They don’t need to stifle how giddy they are just being close or hide longing stares.
No one thinks they’re weak for wearing their adoration like a second skin.
It’s so different from the life Leif would have had if we married—sneaking around the palace and pretending the person he loved meant nothing to him. I’m happy he found what he deserves.
Leif holds out his hand to Wel, who threads their fingers together. My best friend runs his thumb over his boyfriend’s knuckles and says, “We’re more than good.”
“I’d say fantastic now that you’re home,” Wel adds. “Leif worked day and night to find where the Allaji king was keeping you.”
Leif kisses Wel’s knuckles. “You made it easy for me not to give up, bringing me dinner when I forgot to eat and sleeping in my office so I wouldn’t miss you.”
My chest tightens at their sweet display of affection.
I should be sharing moments like this with Kyron.
We have spent too much time apart. He may not see my actions that way, but I was trying to make that possible.
I understand what wearing the crown means, and the obligations he has to this kingdom.
Our people need security, to know that Pliris will not be vulnerable to anyone who would destroy our way of life.
He needs to be focused on that future and not one with me.
This was my way of giving him that and doing whatever it takes for us to be together.
“I’m grateful to you both. Thank you,” I say.
Wel nods. “You’re welcome. I know you would have done the same for us.”
“It’s just too bad that you’re squandering your newly obtained freedom in this hallway. You should be ravaging your king.” Leif says, playing with Wel’s fingers before bringing them to his lips and kissing them one by one.
I don’t remember a time when Leif wasn’t a part of my life. My earliest memories include him. He knows everything about me, from how to make me laugh to how to drive me toward a murderous rage. He has never tried to make me jealous before, but I’ll be damned if he isn’t doing it now.
Sarcasm drips from each word as I say, “Since my king hasn’t come to find me or returned to his room, I’m guessing he doesn’t want to be ravaged by me right now. It’s safe to bet that he’s avoiding me at all costs.”
“Stop with the excuses, Elle. You’re scared and hiding, waiting for that safe moment when he approaches you. He was the one blindsided by what you did. Go and make it up to him,” Leif says.
Wel brushes his thumb along his lover’s cheek and says, “He’s right. Kyron has fought day and night to bring you home. I know sending you to spend time with your family was hard for him.”
“He’s been an insufferable asshole for two weeks,” Leif adds.
The men exchange one more adoring look and give their attention to me.
“Go put the man out of his misery, Elle,” Wel says.
Leif lifts an eyebrow and tilts his head to the side. “Put yourself out of misery.”
I stare at the ceiling and exhale. I am being a coward.
The last thing I want is to face Kyron’s disappointment.
I shouldn’t have surprised him with my decision, especially in front of his advisors and other influential people in the community.
I tried to take his say in the matter out of his hands because I knew he would stop me.
The mistake I made today wasn’t choosing a life of servitude; it was making it known the way I did.
I stand and retie the satin sash of my robe.
“Besides, you wouldn’t want that little lacy nightgown to go to waste. It seems to have a scandalous purpose,” Leif teases.
I momentarily glare at him from the corner of my eye before flashing an exaggerated smile and batting my lashes. “I learned from the best. Weren’t you the one that taught me a good distraction goes a long way?”
“A cheap move is always a good strategy.”
Before Leif and I can get lost in our banter, Wel says, “You’ll find him in his office at the far end of this hallway.”
“Good luck, Elle.”
I glance at my best friend and nod. Taking a deep breath that puffs up my chest, I begin my march down the corridor.
Not much has changed at the Stigian palace since I was last here.
Lavish hand-woven rugs cover the shiny marble floors and magnificent paintings hang on the walls in gilded frames.
At every corner are rich fabrics and jewel encrusted sculptures.
It’s hard not to be in awe of it all, and at the same time, disgusted.
Every comfort and beautiful thing in this palace wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for the hard work of our people.
People that were never meant to step inside these walls.
Thankfully, our new king is working to change that.
I step up to the heavy mahogany door at the end of the hallway.
For seconds, I stare at the patterns in the wood, watching as the light from the two golden sconces on either side of it flickers across it.
My hand shakes when I curl my fingers and tap my knuckles against the door.
Every muscle in my body goes taunt as I hold my breath and listen.
“Come in.”
A tight ache forms in the center of my chest, and a dozen butterflies flutter in my stomach at the muffled sound of Kyron’s voice.
I want to run into the room and shower his face with kisses.
I enjoyed my time with my family, but there wasn’t a day that passed that I didn’t think about him.
I was eager to return, to spend the rest of our lives together.
So, I devised a plan to do just that. Oddly, it’s the same plan that makes it impossible to throw myself into his arms.
I ease the door open and slip inside his office.
Kyron sits behind a massive desk, littered with stacks of papers and books.
His forehead rests in his palm as his fingers grip his ebony hair at the roots.
The sleeves of his black tunic are rolled to his elbows, and the top untied to reveal the smooth golden skin below his neck.
The pen in his other hand moves in quick strokes over a sheet of parchment.
He doesn’t so much as spare me a glance.