Chapter 4
Cai
I pushed the food around my dinner plate. The dining table was filled with large trays of roasted meats, bowls of steaming vegetables and jugs of fine wine. Each item had been cooked to perfection and plated with precision, and I almost felt bad for not feeling very hungry. I caught my mother’s glance from across the table.
“You’ve been very quiet this evening, Cai.”
The room grew quiet apart from an awkward knife clattering onto a plate. All eyes fell on me.
“He might be sitting at this table but he’s certainly not thinking about it,” Thatcher murmured, loud enough for everyone to hear.
It wasn’t unusual for Thatcher and Gwen to join us during our private family dinners. They were practically part of the family. But tonight, I might have preferred to eat without company. My mother hid a smile as if she could tell exactly what occupied my mind. It was one of the few smiles she’d given since Father died.
She’d always known me well enough that I could never hide anything from her.
Which only made my mischievous moments as a teenager all the more challenging. But she never yelled or screamed, and fearing her disappointment became much worse than fearing her anger. She could tell I’d changed since going to war, but we’d grown closer in the time since. Before going to Everness and then being crowned, I would go on long walks with her, and we’d talk about nothing and everything. I used to look forward to those walks and the peace they managed to bring me.
“You’re right. My thoughts have been occupied with the new library we’re building in the city.”
Gwen coughed, seemingly innocently, at my words, and I sent a look in her direction.
“I think it’s a wonderful venture. Especially with the large new children’s section. We never did make enough of a priority of literature and the arts,” my mother replied.
Her illness was so sudden and unpredictable, and even though she’d recovered, she seemed more fragile than the woman she was before. But I feared losing her husband had more to do with it than anything else.
It was like all the strength had gone out of her, and where she used to spend hours on end in the garden, among the flora she adored, she now grew tired easily.
She was right about the library, however. They did have more important things to worry about back in those days. Including wars and treaties and invaders and alliances. There never truly was time for privileges like reading. But I needed to keep my mind occupied, and the city needed a new library.
Being a typical boy, I’d never appreciated my education enough during my younger years. But I could not look past the value it added to my life now. Too many of our people were illiterate because of the circumstances they grew up in. I wanted to find ways to help them grow and expand our economy. I didn’t want everyone to be held back by a label their entire life.
I understood better than anyone what it meant to have a title that kept you from certain freedoms, and I was speaking from a position of privilege, not that of a farmer who had to work from dawn to dusk to keep food on the table for his family. I could admit that my stay at Fairfrith had affected the way I viewed my subjects. And I believed it was a good thing. I’d been shielded my entire life, and I knew a library wasn’t magically going to fix everyone’s problems, but it was a start. I forced myself to take a bite of the dinner I’d been served.
“There has been recent news from Levernia,” my mother said, drawing my attention. My head swivelled in her direction quicker than I would have liked. “Apparently there’s been an attack at the palace.”
“What attack?” I asked.
“Someone tried to kill the Queen.”
I’d stopped chewing my food as a sudden wave of nausea hit me.
“What happened?” Gwen asked before I had the chance.
“Oh, you know by the time news gets here, it’s all half-rumour, really. I believe it was one of her servants. As far as I know she is unharmed, but her reign remains under threat.” My mother looked straight at me, gauging my reaction.
Someone tried to kill Elara.
“What about her engagement? Surely that would strengthen her claim?” Thatcher piped up.
“While engagements are promising, it’s only good if you actually go through with it.” My mother’s expression suggested I’d been the one to break off the engagement with Eloisa. I didn’t tell my family about everything that had happened during my stay in Everness, and I thought, after a while, they knew better than to ask. “The new queen is not married yet.”
“What about the relationship between Norrandale and Everness?” Thatcher looked at me and I shrugged.
“I doubt Elara plans to invade any time soon,” I assured him.
“And you’re definitely not marrying Princess Eloisa?”
“Any documents that were signed were falsified and Princess Eloisa is missing, maybe even in hiding for all we know. Everness has shown no interest in renewing the agreement. Now may we please change the subject?”
Every memory was a vivid image in my mind. Of the time I thought Elara was her sister. Of the night in Woodsbrook Manor when Lance drunkenly used her to try to find the jewel hidden in my family necklace. A necklace I never got back from Elara. The thought made me think of her neck, of the kisses I had pressed to her soft skin. I clenched my jaw.
“Why, is it making you uncomfortable?” Gwen pried.
“No, I simply think that politics is not an appropriate conversation for the dinner table.”
She grinned at me. “Liar. You’re thinking that you got engaged to the wrong sister.”
“I don’t believe I see a ring on your finger, Gwen,” I blurted, and her expression immediately changed. I cringed inwardly. I hadn’t meant to insult her, but I was desperate to talk about something else, anything else.
Thatcher laughed softly. “Some poor bastard would have to be tackled and forced down the aisle.”
“Thatcher,” my mother gently scolded, like the second mother she was to him.
“Don’t worry, Gwen darling. I’m sure you’ll marry a perfect gentleman when and if you choose to do so.” She tried to console her.
“There are no good men left in Norrandale, Your Highness,” Gwen replied. “None with titles, anyway, and Mama would have a fit if I married below station.”
I understood perfectly well where she was coming from and even felt somewhat guilty for making the joke in the first place. Gwen would have to marry someone like a duke or a prince, and even worse, if she didn’t do it soon, she stood the risk of an arranged marriage at the hands of her parents. It never bothered me that I would not have the luxury of choosing my own bride. I’d been brought up with the knowledge that my marriage would be for political gain, which was why I didn’t hesitate when it came to my engagement with Eloisa. It was in the interests of our people. But I was young and foolish enough to forget one very important point. That while the title of the woman I married mattered for our kingdom’s sake, so did her character if she were to be a good queen to my people. Norrandale had been privileged with great queens, my mother and grandmother being two of them. I would be doing my people an injustice if I did not marry someone who measured up to them.
“You’re right,” Thatcher said, in response to Gwen’s comment. “The only eligible man left in this kingdom is this man right here.” He placed a hand on my shoulder. “I can attest to this.”
This made Gwen chuckle. “No offence, Cai, but I’d really rather not be queen.”
“No offence taken, Gwen.” I smiled at her, trying to make amends for my earlier blow.
“And I’d really rather not have this one for a brother-in-law.” I gestured with my head to Thatcher, who met my gaze.
“You wound me so.”
I forced a laugh, grateful the conversation had turned away from Elara. My mind churned with the news from Levernia. I hadn’t expected Elara’s sudden ascension to the throne to be met without opposition, but an attempted assassination was something else entirely. If her people were trying to kill her, then my mother was right: her reign and her life were under threat.
The dining-room doors opened suddenly, and Jack stepped inside. He bowed before saying, “My apologies for interrupting dinner—” he turned towards me — “but you’re going to want to see this, Your Majesty.”
* * *
I followed Jack in silence, his demeanour rigid and hurried. Whatever was going on, it wasn’t good. We reached the cellars of the palace and my concern grew.
It was dark — a musty smell pervaded the air. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been down here. A prison guard bowed his head as we passed.
“What exactly is going on?” There had to be a damn good reason he was leading me into the palace’s dungeon. Most of the cells were empty. A single rat scurried across the floor.
“We found something, Your Majesty,” he responded. “I thought it important that you be notified immediately.” Jack grabbed one of the torches that lined the walls so that he could light our way.
“Well, what did you find?” I questioned with a hint of frustration at his evasiveness. Jack’s pace was so quick, I almost had trouble keeping up.
He stopped abruptly in front of one of the cells and I turned to look inside.
“Oh?” I said in genuine surprise. Three men were tied up there. “Are they...?”
“We believe them to be spies, yes. We found them on the outskirts of the city. They were staying in one of the taverns, asking strange questions about the royal guard and the palace. A fight happened to break out and someone spotted the Argonian mark and reported it. The barman says they’d been acting suspicious the whole time they’d been there.”
The three men were dressed similarly to Norrandish citizens but one of them had a ripped sleeve and a symbol of the kingdom of Argon clearly tattooed on his upper arm. I immediately recognised the mark. Had seen it on thousands of young soldiers as we fought on the battlefields of Argon. If it were up to me, I’d never set foot in that kingdom across the sea ever again. The horrors of that war still haunted me.
“Do you think they were trying to scout our military forces in the city?” I asked Jack. We had no laws against Argonian citizens coming to Norrandale, but once you became a soldier in Argon’s army, you were never allowed to leave. The only way out was by getting killed. Which meant these men certainly couldn’t be here for a friendly visit.
“Well, they definitely weren’t trying to buy bread or go for a beer.”
The idea that Argonian spies had not only come onto Norrandish shores but were inside our city was concerning to say the least. Were they the only ones? Were they rebels? Why did Aries send them here?
“Have they said anything?”
Jack shook his head. “They refuse to speak.” I glanced down at Jack’s knuckles and noticed a bruise, but the soldiers didn’t look worse for wear, which meant they hadn’t been beaten for information.
“Keep them here for now.” I was unsure of what to do. King Aries could have multiple intentions with sending spies into my kingdom. After the war, Norrandale and Argon had signed a peace treaty and there had been no talk of conflict between our kingdoms since. The thought that Aries could be planning to violate that agreement left a bitter taste in my mouth. It was the last thing I needed.
“Do we have any proof against them that would hold up in a trial?”
Jack shook his head. “Not exactly.”
“They stay here for the night. See if they’re willing to share something.” My fists clenched at my sides while I stared at the three men. They weren’t built like ordinary citizens. Their physique could only be attributed to years of training and fighting. I’d spent months in battle against such men. It elicited one triggering memory after another, and while I knew they hadn’t specifically done anything to me, I was filled with unwanted rage. Rage for what they put me and my soldiers through. Rage for everything King Aries stood for. Rage for the things that would haunt me for the rest of my life.
“Yes, Your Majesty?” Jack seemed uncertain.
“If we don’t have any proof they’re Aries’ spies, then they might just as well be Argonian rebels or refugees of some kind.”
“Then they would have said so,” he argued.
I nodded. “ You and I know that, but we’d be breaking the peace treaty if we torture Argonian men or keep them imprisoned without any proof and Aries knows that.”
“There’s nothing in the treaty that says we can’t bargain with Argonians,” Alastor said, walking into the prison. He was second in charge after Jack and had accompanied us to Everness as one of my guards and the keeper of our weapons. Despite the fact that we did not share similar titles or upbringings, I considered both Jack and Alastor friends. Alastor tilted his head left to right, stretching the muscles in his neck. He was out of breath. I hadn’t spoken to him a lot recently. Not that Alastor ever talked much, but with all my new duties, I hadn’t been able to spend as much time with my guards as I used to. Jack was just about the only one I saw on a daily basis.
“Where have you been?” Jack asked.
“In the training ring,” Alastor replied, tying his dark hair out of his face.
“It’s dark outside.”
“Exactly.” He grinned. Something which did not often occur. Alastor was the sort of man you could trust with your life, but never expect to understand him or his methods.
“We can’t make them talk.” He turned towards the prisoners and crossed his arms. “But we can offer them immunity and a safe life here in Norrandale. As long as they never go back to Argon.”
“Just so the Argonians can slowly invade us by pretending to be citizens of the kingdom? That’s a terrible plan.” Jack frowned.
“I didn’t say it was a plan. It was a suggestion.” Alastor put his hands up in defence before leaning back against the prison wall.
“What if they were to die of ‘natural causes’?”
The three men didn’t so much as flinch or look up at the thought of their possible demise. These men were more than willing to die for their king. It had been drilled into them from the moment they became Aries’ soldiers. Argon before everything else. It made them ruthless and relentless on the battlefield and the reason not many kingdoms risked standing up to Aries, despite him being a young king.
“We can’t just kill men because they’re loyal to the kingdom they were born in,” Alastor countered.
“Then what do you call war?” Jack cried.
“We are not at war with Argon. We cannot risk the peace treaty,” I cut in. “Until we are certain what Aries’ plans are, there is too much at stake. For all we know, they could have gone rogue.”
“So, what do you suggest, Your Majesty?”
“Keep them here for questioning. Maybe they will eventually be willing to talk. One of you keep watch for the night.”
“I believe I’ve got this.” Alastor rubbed his hands together and stalked towards the soldiers.
* * *
The wind pressed against my back. I stumbled forwards in the tall, wet grass. My armour constricted my body. It was difficult to breathe. I stumbled on. There was a terrible smell in the air. The scent of death.
I heaved, forcing myself to continue walking. My sword dragged behind me. The sharp edge scraped along the ground with each step. With every moment, it became more difficult to breathe. It felt as if my lungs were collapsing. As if my heart had already been ripped out of my chest. I was already dead.
My head spun, the lack of food and water taking its toll. The battlefield was a ballroom of soldiers in a dance with death. Bodies collapsed on the ground beside me.
Another step.
Something grabbed my ankle and my thumping heart skipped a beat. I looked down. It was the hand of one of my soldiers. “Harris.” I bent down. His eyes were wide with fear. A large gash covered his chest. He was bleeding to death and there was nothing I could do. He was barely seventeen.
I grabbed his hand.
“Your Highness, I’m afraid.” His voice was hoarse.
“Do not be afraid,” I said, as calmly as possible. It was an effort to keep my voice from cracking. “You have served your kingdom well.”
“I want to go home,” he said with sadness, his breathing becoming more laboured with every second.
“You will go home,” I lied. There was no need for me to burden him with heavy truths in his last moments. He would go home... in a casket. “You’ll go home,” I promised. “And you’ll receive a reward for your valour and bravery.” I hated this. Hated every moment of this. Hated that he wasn’t the first one. That he wouldn’t be the last.
“A reward?” A hint of a smile. I nodded, still clutching him. “My family would be so proud.”
“Yes, they will. They will be so proud of you, Harris.” He had a mother, a sister who depended on him for an income. A mother and sister who were waiting for him to come back to them.
“It hurts,” he wheezed. “It hurts, Your Highness.”
“I know.” I clenched my teeth. “It will stop hurting soon.” Blood dripped from his mouth, and I held on to him until he released his final, dying breath. I closed Harris’s eyes and sent up a silent prayer for him.
I forced myself to stand up and scan the battlefield again. There he was. The youngest Argonian prince and Aries’ younger brother. He took pleasure in capturing my soldiers and torturing them for information. He took pleasure in the deaths of men like Harris. And it would end today. I was filled with more anger than I knew I could possess. Blind rage, searing white aggression.
My vision grew tunnelled, my sole focus on him. One goal in mind. With each step, his armoured body got closer. I watched him drive his sword through one of my soldiers, his back towards me. The man let out a cry of death. I was almost there. He pulled his sword out and shoved the soldier to the ground. I would not allow him to kill any of my men again.
I didn’t hesitate. Not when he gasped in surprise. Not when he fell to the ground, with blood seeping onto the grass. I didn’t hesitate to twist the sword. Didn’t hesitate when he screamed. A part of me had died in battle, had died along with every one of my fallen soldiers. I could not bring them back. I could not bring them to their mothers, or wives or sisters or friends. But I could avenge them. Their lives and their deaths would mean something.
The prince stopped moving. I stood there for a moment, motionless. Part of me expected that I would feel something once he was gone. Satisfaction, relief maybe? But nothing. I was completely numb.
* * *
I woke up screaming.
Droplets of sweat ran down my chest. There was a knock on the door before Jack peered in.
“Everything all right, Your Majesty? I heard a scream.” I should have felt embarrassed, but it wasn’t the first time Jack heard me screaming myself awake and I would venture to bargain that it wouldn’t be the last.
“Jack, what are you doing outside my rooms?” My voice came out hoarse.
“I was just making the rounds, Your Majesty.”
“Don’t you ever sleep?” I pushed away the sheets that were clinging to my body.
“I couldn’t, Your Majesty. So, I thought I might as well take the night shift.”
I swallowed hard. My throat was dry. “All right then.”
“So, all is well, Your Majesty? I can leave you be?”
All was not well. But my nightmares were mine alone. As far as everyone was concerned, everything had to be well, always. It was my duty. My royal duty. It was not that I couldn’t trust Jack. It was that I couldn’t trust myself. That once the gates were opened and the dams broken, I wasn’t certain I would be able to close them again.
“Get a servant to light the candles, please, Jack.” I might as well get started with work. Despite it being the early hours of the morning, I was not going back to sleep. I would not be favoured with rest again before the sun rose.