Chapter Thirty-Two
Reign
Aelia slept curled against me. Her breath warmed my chest, the glow of the cuorem between us a quiet promise in the dark. Gods, she was everything. The light I never deserved, the future this realm needed.
And I hated it.
Hated that every moment I held onto my mate was a moment closer to losing her. Hated that the gods might demand I give her up, that the realm might need her to stand beside another, to rule beside my brother, to secure the unity we all fought for.
The thought of her hand in Ruhl’s, of her smiling for the court while I stood in the shadows like some loyal ghost… Just imagining it made a growl rumble in my throat, shadows curling around my fists as I gripped the sheets, fighting the urge to pull her closer and to swear I’d never let her go.
Mine.
The word burned in my mind, possessive and raw.
But duty clawed back, reminding me that love wasn’t always enough. That to protect her, to protect all of Aetheria, I might have to let her go one day. Even when every bone in my body told me to do the complete opposite. I closed my eyes, pressing my lips to her temple and breathed her in.
“Just a little longer,” I whispered to the night, the promise tasting like a lie. “Let me have this, before the gods come to take her away.”
No one is taking me away from you. Aelia’s silky voice slipped through my dismal thoughts, something bright and shining amongst the darkness gathering. Even in my mind, her voice was rough from sleep. She stirred beside me, her hand trailing over my abdomen.
Not while I still draw breath, that’s for certain. The words rushed between us.
Her lids slowly opened, blazing silver-blue irises meeting my own.
I rolled her on top of me, needing the warmth of her skin against mine.
When we were like this, alone, together, everything felt so right.
We could take on legions of demon Night Fae, break prophecies, battle anyone and anything that came for us; I was certain of it.
It was when I was left alone to my wandering thoughts that the future grew bleak.
Devoid of her light, I was simply consumed by shadow… by the insidious zar.
Curses. I jolted straight up, nearly sending Aelia tumbling off me.
“What’s wrong?” she squealed, her arms encircling my neck in an attempt to steady herself.
“I—I’m not certain… but all these doubts I’ve been having, the suffocating fear of losing you, of believing it better if you were with Ruhl…”
“Helroth?” she bit out.
“Maybe. Could he possibly be exerting his influence through the zar that’s seeping through our bond?”
Her lips twisted as she sat up, straddling me. Typically, having her in this position would immediately have had heat streaking to my lower half, but right now, only ice skimmed my skin. There was something in her expression that had unease coiling low in my gut.
Searching our mental connection, I found nothing but a wall of radiant light blocking her thoughts.
“Aelia…”
She drew in her bottom lip, gnawing on the soft pillow much as I had only last night.
“What is it you’re not telling me?”
Her gaze dropped to my bare chest, her finger drawing lazy circles across the glittering mate mark. “It’s nothing.”
“It’s not nothing.” I reached for her, clasping her chin in a firm grip and forcing her eyes to meet mine once again. “Tell me, love.”
“I can’t—I’m not sure…”
“Not sure about what?”
“The zar and where it’s coming from.”
Brows furrowed, I regarded her, that hint of unease growing ever more substantial. “Where else would it be coming from, if not you?”
“From you, Reign,” she whispered, hands framing my face. “From your blood.”
Ice doused my veins, a flurry of emotions battering my insides. “It can’t be…” Sudden, violent images from my childhood rose unbidden. Tenebris sneering across the training yard, whispering about the darkness in my veins. I’d thought it metaphorical then. Hadn’t it been?
“Kae said—”
“Kaelith?” I growled, squirming free of her hold before my hands closed around her hips, lifting then dropping her onto the mattress beside me. “You spoke to Kaelith about me?”
“No, it wasn’t like that. He mentioned it in passing… after you’d nearly killed him in the dungeons at Duskridge Manor.”
I leapt up, pacing the length of the bed. “That was weeks ago, Aelia! And you’re just now mentioning it?”
“I don’t know anything for sure… And you were so volatile then, your powers completely out of control. I was afraid to tell you—”
“What did he say?”
“That the zar he felt from you was familiar… and not familiar because he’d witnessed it in me. He said it came from you. From your blood.”
“No, it’s not possible.”
“Isn’t it though?” She slid to the edge of the bed and stood, halting my manic footsteps. “You’ve told me before you knew little of your mother.”
“I would have known if I was part Night Fae, Aelia,” I hissed, the violence in my tone, surprising even me. Gods, I couldn’t be one of them.
“You’ve always said you were stronger than most, Reign. That you, as a half-royal, should not have been able to overpower your own brother, a prince, let alone your father, King Elian, and so many others.” She extended her hand, caressing my cheek, eyes intent on my own. “Look at me, my love.”
But I couldn’t.
Fuck, it was bad enough I was a bastard in love with a princess, but a Night Fae bastard? The very monsters who were trying to destroy us.
“You are not a Night Fae bastard,” she snarled. Once more she framed my face, this time with surprisingly firm hands so I was forced to her fierce gaze. “And need I remind you that I, too, am part Night Fae? Does that make me a monster as well?”
“No, of course not. Never you. You are light and love and everything that is good in this gods’ forsaken realm.”
“Then what in all the stars is the difference?”
“You are good, Aelia. Inherently so. And I am not. I’m selfish. I’m ruthless. And for the longest time, I told myself it was survival. But if you’re right, maybe now I finally understand the truth—maybe I became this way because I have the blood of demons running through my veins.”
She pressed her palm against my heart, right over the cuorem where it pounded in response to our chaotic emotions.
“Then I guess we’ll be demons together. And we’ll use every jagged piece of ourselves to destroy the real monsters.
Because, maybe, the only way to defeat darkness is to become something it fears. ”
The fire in those blazing orbs made me want to believe every single word that fell from those perfect lips. She always had that effect on me.
Pulling my mate close, I cradled her face in my hands, then dropped my forehead to hers. “Just when I think I couldn’t possibly love you any more, you say something that carves me open and makes me yours all over again.”
“Good,” she whispered, before brushing her lips against mine. “Because you are mine, as I am yours. Whether you’re Shadow Fae or Night Fae, or even a gods’ damned blood-thirsty Immortalis, you will always be my cuoré.”
A growl tore up my throat, the beastly sound erupting from my very core. It was a roar of love, utter devotion, and wild possessiveness. And gods, if war wasn’t knocking on our door, I would have thrown her over my shoulder, carried her back to the bed and had my way with her all over again.
Instead, I cradled her neck, deepening the kiss for one last moment before forcing myself away.
Deciding to dismiss the possibilities of Night Fae blood running through my veins for now, I chose to focus on a problem I could solve. With everything that stood against us, eliminating at least one obstacle would lighten the load.
“I love you, starlight.” I spoke the words with the hushed reverence they deserved as I compelled my feet toward the armoire. If I didn’t leave now, we would end up back in that bed, in a tangle of limbs and sheets, despite the duty that now called us.
Her brows knitted as she regarded me. “Where are you going?”
“Don’t worry, I’m not running off to Shadowmere to torture Kaelith for more information about the possibilities of Night Fae blood running through my veins.”
“Good. Because I honestly don’t believe he has any.”
A huff squeezed out through my clenched teeth. “I suppose time will tell.”
“Well, if you’re not going to pay him a ‘visit’, then where are you going?”
“I must see Gideon before we meet with Ruhl and his generals this afternoon.” I reached for a pair of dark leathers and speared my legs through them, then drew a clean tunic over my head.
“Before we make a decision to hunt down your grandfather, I must confirm the rituals required of my brother before he can legitimately claim the Shadow Throne.”
“Why?”
As I buckled my tunic, shadows curled under my skin, whispering questions I couldn’t yet answer. “Because, Aelia, if he is calling the Court of Umbral Shadows to war, he may need the full power of the throne behind him.”