54. Chapter 49
Chapter 49
The greatest fear for an Immortal is not death. Death is simple. Slide into the void and finally rest. No, the greatest fear of an Immortal is the death of their soul-bond. An eternity of pain is all that awaits them.
~Cole Cyrus, The History of Flames
Maeve
I’ve been to a handful of weddings in my life. Hazel told me more times than I can count what she wanted at hers. A beautiful dress. More flowers than a wild field in spring. Music that makes you want to dance. The best food that you could imagine.
Now that I’m standing in front of a mirror, I don’t remember why I cared about any of it. I don’t care about the people or the food or the dress. I don’t care what Cole is wearing or what music is playing. All I care is that I’m about to tie my soul to the most incredible man in the world. We’re going to become inseparable. Forever.
And there’s nothing I want more.
“That’s the most beautiful dress I have ever seen,” Hazel says from behind me. “To think that I used to be so proud of those dresses Ma brought home from the market. They just…”
“They were human. This isn’t.” I say it without looking away from the mirror at the dress that no human could have ever made. The fabric doesn’t have a name that I’m aware of.
It’s colder than should be possible. Like frozen threads that are so fine you can’t pick one out from the rest. It shimmers like ice rather than silk, like the threads are made of crystals rather than fibers.
There is no ornamentation. No gemstones. No magic. It is… plain compared to every dress I’ve seen since becoming embroiled in the Immortal world. Yet it’s more beautiful than any of them.
“It was my mother’s dress,” my mother says softly. “I didn’t wear a dress. Your Da and I did the ritual in front of his old house.” There’s a chuckle, and I barely notice.
My grandmother’s dress. A woman that was born thousands of years before I was conceived. A woman I know nothing about.
Instead of focusing on that fact, I look at all the tiny details of the dress that was made for a woman who was marrying the King of Shadows when people still remembered the dragons. The spun crystal has been embroidered into vines that crawl around the corseted top. The bottom half lacks any of the poofiness of a typical wedding gown.
Yet, when I move, the crystal fabric shimmers and moves like water. Like a winter version of shadows. It flows over my legs, softer than any silk. The feeling is so close to that of my shadow dress.
“You know what this means, don’t you?” my mother asks. “You know what it means to bind yourself to Cole?”
I nod slowly. “Inseparable forever. No matter what happens.” My words come out choppy because my mind is elsewhere, remembering all that we’ve been through. How he was there when I was at my worst. He accepted the punishment I wanted to deliver to the world without complaint. He’d been willing to do anything to keep me from the pain that was etched on my soul. He’d been willing to sacrifice himself, the Thrones, the Painted Crown, and the very world itself to keep me from being forced into this battle.
Then, when I thought everyone I cared about was dead, he was there. Only him. He donned the Shadowed Cloak and convinced me to live when nothing else could have. I am only standing here because of Cole Cyrus. There is nothing in the world that I wouldn’t do for him.
He is my world, and I’m going to make sure no one can take him away from me now.
“You know what happens if he dies?” she asks, her voice low and nervous.
I turn to her, a smile on my lips. “Cole Cyrus is my everything, Mother . Not all of us are so willing to let people go peacefully into the void. No one will take him from me. Ever.”
“But…” My smile curls up, and shadows move from the bottom of my dress so similar to how the Shade used his. They crawl up her misty body and wrap around her throat, cutting her off violently.
I shake my head. “No. I will not hear about my husband’s death at our wedding, Brenna Morvyn. I know everything I need to know.” My shadows release her throat and dissipate as I turn back to the mirror.
There’s shock on Hazel’s face, but I ignore it. It’s not only Hazel who’s changed in the months since she came to Valinar. I’ve experienced too much loss and pain to let anyone try to suck the joy out of the few moments that are perfect. Even if that person is my mother.
I hear the door shut as my mother leaves the room, and I continue to stare into the mirror and remember the moments that made us. The laughter. The tears. The training and battles. The blood and the terror of what would happen if we ever made a misstep. It’s blurred into a wonderful and terrible cacophony of unforgettable moments.
Behind it all, there was Cole, standing like the unmovable stone in a storm for me to shelter under.
“Are you afraid at all?” Hazel asks. “I was so excited about getting married before, but that was when getting married was the only thing that mattered. Now…”
“I’m not afraid. I never thought I’d get married. Who would ever love a Wyrdling like me? I think I’d have believed I would be the Queen of all of Nyth before I’d have believed that a handsome and wonderful man would marry me. That’s the only thing that I feel right now. I can’t quite believe that this isn’t a dream.”
I smile, a little chuckle escaping my lips. “When I was lost in my mind, everything felt just as real as it does right now.” I lift my hand into the air and a tiny sapphire comes into being. It floats above my hand, and I don’t even have to look at it as I turn to look at my cousin.
“If someone had told us I would do this a year ago, would you have believed them?” It floats through the air toward her, and she puts her hand out to accept it. “If someone had said, ‘Maeve is going to create beautiful gemstones by thinking about them,’ you’d have laughed. That’s more believable than Cole. He’s… he is everything, and he loves me more than anything else. That’s not something he said. It’s what he’s done.”
I shake my head. “The gemstone? That’s unbelievable. Cole loving a stupid Wyrdling girl? Now, that’s impossible.”
Hazel grins and wraps her arms around me, just like she did when I was a little girl. She looks at me just like she did back then. “Maeve, you’re the most incredible person I’ve ever met. You used to be… different. Then you became the heir to a kingdom. Then you became the leader of a rebellion to save the kingdom and the world. Maeve, if anyone is thinking this is all a dream, it’s Cole. He gets to marry you . You’re the only girl in the entire world who makes him better. You may not have started out as the Queen of Nyth, but you’re the greatest woman I’ve ever met, and Cole is lucky to know you, much less to marry you. Now stop this. Go marry that too-beautiful-for-his-own-good man that’s waiting for you.”
I can’t keep the laughter from slipping from my lips at that. Just like always, Hazel knows how to make me smile. “Thank you,” I whisper before giving her one last hug.
She lets me go, and I take a deep breath before walking out of the small building right outside the town square. The wedding of a Queen and a Prince should be an affair to remember, and in Valinar, the only place to hold something like this is the town square.
It’s a scene like nothing that I’ve ever witnessed before. Valinar’s town square has massive trees that remind me of a cross between a willow and an oak. Their trunks are as large as a small cottage, and they climb hundreds of feet into the air to where the sky turns to mist. Their branches droop, and their narrow leaves nearly reach the ground.
Set amongst the branches are hanging lanterns filled with soft flames that are ringed with halos of light. From the hundreds of branches, crystal strands hang that reflect the light from the dozens of fires, making them look like stars burning with an orange light.
Chairs have been arranged before a small gazebo that’s been overgrown with vines and tiny flowers. All the people I’ve known are here. Even the ones who used to be afraid of me from Blackgrove are here with smiles on their faces. The Immortals from Aerwyn are here, too.
Bog is wearing a tiny little riding coat that had to have been made just for this ceremony. Rivertail has pants and a gorgeous green silk shirt on. Da is wearing a charcoal gray tailcoat and ivory silk shirt which look far more handsome than anything I remember him wearing.
My mother is standing in the gazebo. The mists that make up her body have become a simple dress. Beside her is Cole, standing with his hands in front of him. Flames flicker around him in the air as they usually do when he’s having a hard time controlling his excitement. He’s staring at me.
You’re gorgeous . His words whisper over our bond, and I can’t help but chuckle.
If this were a human wedding, you couldn’t say that. You’d have to wait until it was over to compliment me.
Even from here, I can see his lip curl up. It’s a good thing I’m not human then.
I walk down the path to the gazebo, and everything is silent except my footsteps. For the first time since I saw the Nothing, I’m grateful for that silence. It lets me ignore everyone except Cole.
It lets me stare at him. I know that any other time, I’d have thought he looked gallant in the midnight black coattails and bright crimson waistcoat. I’d have thought the pearlescent cravat was over the top. I’d have remarked at how little magic there seemed to be at a wedding between the two most powerful people. He’d have said that his tailor wasn’t here, and he didn’t have spellstones. He’d have said that the magic that we were about to do was far more important than anything we could wear.
But that conversation didn’t happen. Instead, we simply stare at each other. His eyes on mine as I walk down the aisle. I don’t notice his clothes. I don’t notice the way the flames rage at his feet yet don’t catch the gazebo on fire.
All I can think of is the way our bond is pulsing and the way his eyes burn into me, threatening to consume me completely.
And how much I can’t wait for him to do exactly that.
I walk up the steps to stand in front of him, and the silence lingers for a few seconds. Then my mother speaks. “I witness this bonding,” she says.
That’s all. No vows. No rings. Nothing. None of that matters when my literal soul is becoming part of his. Who cares about a piece of silver or gold or what someone else says?
Instead, she walks off the gazebo and takes her seat next to Da, their hands clasping together. Cole puts his hands out flat, and I put mine in them, our fingers pressing against each other’s palms like they did when we did the betrothal ritual.
This time, I smile. I know what I’m walking into this time. I know the man I’m looking at. I know his flaws and his strengths. I know the pain he’s carried and the things he’s given up for me and for everyone else.
I know this man more than I know anyone else in the world. He is everything to me. Just like during the betrothal ritual, he speaks, and the words come out as a rhythm that holds magic in every vibration.
There is no sound beyond his voice. No wind. No crinkling of leaves or shifting of people in their seats. Only his voice and heartbeat resonating in my world.
“I offer myself to you,” he says, his eyes turning molten orange. Flames explode around us, swirling and dancing.
Just like before, I repeat his words. “I offer myself to you.” This time, though, it’s not shadows that blink into existence, but threads of crystal. Blues and greens and reds and browns spin around us in a glittering mosaic of firelight.
My words come out strong, the calmness flowing through me and taking over. There are no questions, no concerns. There is only Cole and me in a world of light, and that will never change.
His fingers become talons and dig into my hands. They’re hard and sharp, and I smile at him. Pain is nothing. Shadows flow from my feet, joining the surrounding dance, and they aren’t burned up by the flames.
“I’ve protected you.” His slow words set the pace for the spinning magic that expands, creating a sphere around us, covering us and shutting out the world. Our world is flames and shadows and glittery gemstones. It’s light and dark, pain and beauty, and everything that our lives have become. A union of opposites.
“I’ve shared the burdens you carried.” Lust fills me as memories flow through my mind. The burdens that have become ours rather than his. We’ve borne the pain together.
“I showed you how to be strong. I showed you the strength you’ve always had.” He trained me. He allowed me to lead when I have so much less experience than him. He trusted me when everyone else argued with me. He has always believed that I was more than what I knew. Not just the power that’s in my bloodline, but the strength of my heart and mind.
“I have shown you peace. I have watched you breathe easily.” I can see him remembering those moments. The times that he’s curled up to me and slept through the night. The times that he smiled instead of fought. The times that he felt joy instead of pain.
“You are mine,” he says. It’s not a question. It’s a demand and an expectation. He has fulfilled his promises, and now he’s worthy of a true bond. I can feel myself changing. The bond we share is shifting, preparing to become eternal.
This time, there’s no hesitation. There’s no need to question anything. “You are mine,” I say, and my words swirl around with the rest, echoing in the cacophony of sounds that are nothing but a background noise. The magic of the ritual takes hold as I stare into the flames of Cole’s eyes. The knot that held our souls together melts, flows, and fades. Where a bond had been, there’s nothing. Why would we need a bond when we share a soul?
I look through his eyes and see myself. I feel the way he sees me. I feel the need to protect me, the way he is desperate to touch me and hold me. And my eyes become the same burning orange that Cole’s had been. He’s seeing through my eyes now.
Around us, the flames and shadows and crystals dance. My… no, his talon-tipped fingers dig into my hands. The magic is complete, but the ritual is not. There hasn’t been a close.
“I love you,” I say, knowing fully that it’s not part of the ritual. And I hear it come from Cole’s lips rather than my own.
My voice echoes it as Cole controls my body. “I love you more than an Immortal should be able to love.” The words aren’t said in his deep voice, but they’re his words. I can feel him in them. I can taste him in them.
Then I’m seeing through my eyes again, and I move my hand to his cheek. He does the same, and he pulls me closer to him, our foreheads pressing against each other as we stare into each other’s eyes as if we were seeing them for the first time.
I loved the man I’d come to know, but before, it was all like a religion. I had faith that everything I knew about Cole was true. There was no proof. The only thing he’d proved to me was that he could lie to me for months and I’d never know. He’d shown just how well he could manipulate me.
But I’d had faith in him. I’d believed when others would have rejected him. He’d made mistakes, and I’d made just as many.
“You trusted me,” he whispers, reading the thoughts in my mind.
“I did.” He’s soaring as my memories flood him. The way I’d seen him. The way I’d needed him. The pain I’d felt for him.
Cole Cyrus and I are two sides of a single soul now. Pieces of a whole. “I claimed you, and I will never let you go,” I say. “I will never be apart from you.”
“I am always yours,” he says with a smile. “But you are always mine as well.”
And he pulls my lips to his. I don’t fight him, letting the love and lust that are so desperate for a physical connection to flow through us both. A hard kiss that’s been begging to be had for what feels like an eternity.
I’d had faith in Cole before. I’d believed in him. Now there’s no doubt. I can’t doubt a man who is part of me because I know what he would do for me. I know I am just as much his everything.
This is the closing of the ritual. That was the kiss that Cole had run from at our betrothal. I take a deep breath and realize the silence is gone. The flames and crystals and shadows have faded, and we’re standing on the gazebo with hundreds of people clapping.
“Humans have parties after weddings,” Cole whispers in my ear. “Immortals leave. Which do you prefer?”
I feel his hand on my back as I turn to the people in the crowd. It makes my body throb in response. I see all the people that I’ve cared about so much at various points in my life. Da, my mother, and Hazel. All the people from Aerwyn. Lee and Darian. Everyone that’s loved me in any way is here.
But they’re the ones I was willing to let go. I love my friends, but tonight they don’t matter like Cole does. We’ve been selfless for so long. Tonight is about us.
I give them a wide smile, and I wave. Then the shadows swallow Cole and me up.