Chapter Ten
CHAPTER TEN
S OMETHING SHIFTED BETWEEN them in that moment. Profound and heavy enough to still their breaths. To make Azar’s eyes darken, this time minus the shadows. And whether he was the one who drew her closer or if it was she who held on tighter, she chose not to dwell on it. They didn’t kiss, but they came close. And, bewilderingly, it felt even more intimate, standing there watching over their son, not rejecting the connection forging between them, even though she had no idea where it might lead.
She watched as the tightness around his mouth and eyes eased and he exhaled heavily. As if some secret, mighty resolution had been reached. And when he dropped a soft kiss on her forehead Eden found herself sighing too. Abandoning those fierce defenders guarding the walls of her heart.
Just for tonight, she would take a break from tumult.
‘My father will have heard about this,’ said Azar. ‘He’ll need reassuring. I’ll return as soon as I can.’
She nodded, wrapping her arms around herself to retain his warmth as he stepped away. For the longest time, he simply stared at her. Then, turning briskly on his heels, he strode away.
She stayed, reassuring a distraught Nadia, when she hesitantly approached, that she bore no grudge.
Then, after assuring herself her baby was okay, she reluctantly left him to sleep.
Sleep for herself was out of the question, but she stripped upon reaching her suite, showered and dressed in a nightgown and robe, then planted herself in front of the TV in the living room connecting her and Azar’s suites. For the first time she was thankful for the strict palace protocols that almost guaranteed that news of tonight’s events wouldn’t get out.
She’d just about managed to get her heart to settle when Azar walked in. He was freshly showered too, and even before her avid gaze had taken in the damp strands of silky hair clinging to his forehead and temples, to wander lower over his hard pecs and washboard stomach, her heart was galloping again.
It really was deplorably unfair how magnificent this man was.
‘Nightcap?’ he drawled, sauntering over the extensive liquor cabinet perched next to a Venetian wallpapered wall.
She started to shake her head. But darts of pain, one swiftly following the other, lanced her temples, made her freeze.
Azar froze too, his brow furrowing. ‘What’s wrong?’ he rasped.
‘My head hurts. I’m coming down with a migraine.’
Concern clenched his brow and her heart thudded as he changed direction, striding over to where she sat.
‘Shall I get the doctor?’
And invite more curiosity? ‘No, I’ll be fine. It’s probably the adrenaline… I’ll sleep it off.’
His scrutiny didn’t let up. ‘Does that usually work?’
She shrugged. ‘I don’t know. I’ve never misplaced my son before,’ she said, then flinched at her half-facetious, half-panicked tone. It would take her a while to get over the emotional turbulence of the last hour.
‘Ven aqui.’ The command was low and utterly unshakable.
Eden stood and tumbled forward, a compulsion she couldn’t fight directing her. The moment she was within touching distance, he dragged her into his arms. She fell the last half-step, a sob of relief breaking free before she could stifle it.
Her cheek landed on his chest and she inhaled, deep and shaky. His arms banded her, just like before, and damn if it wasn’t quickly turning into her favourite place to be.
‘I don’t know what I’d have done if anything had—’
‘Hush, tesoro . He’s safe and sound and tucked up in bed. See?’
Sliding a hand into his pocket, he drew out his phone, hit the monitor app that showed Max fast asleep in his bed.
‘That’s all you need to think about right now. We’ve been given an eye-opening test. We will put forward better safeguards, yes?’
She nodded, more than ready to release that rock of fear lodged in her gut. Burrowing deeper into his chest, she exhaled on a moan again as one arm banded her waist and his fingers dug into the tight knots gripping her shoulders. He massaged her in firm, soothing circles, loosening her tension until she all but melted against him.
With one final breath she wrapped her arms around his waist, not protesting when the arm around her waist lowered to circle her hips and lift her up in a show of easy, sexy strength that changed the dynamic from comfort to…something else.
Something that made her lift her head, angle her gaze to meet the ferocity of his.
A different sensation took hold of her. One that had been brewing with unstoppable force since the moment he’d dropped his champagne glass in Vegas and chased after her.
Possibly even before then. Because, as he’d stated before, chemistry like theirs couldn’t be faked.
‘You don’t want a nightcap. Or the doctor. Tell your husband what he can do for you,’ he offered, with such overpowering yet simple magnanimity that her defences crumbled all at once, making her foundations entirely unsalvageable even if she’d wanted to cling to her last ounce of sanity.
‘What if it’s something I… I shouldn’t crave? Something impossible?’
Molten grey eyes, hypnotising and offering safe harbour, locked onto her soul. ‘I’ve been known to achieve the impossible. Say it, mi reina ,’ he commanded roughly. ‘Tell me what you want.’
And, sweet heaven, she was tired of fighting it. Especially tonight, when her emotions had been put through the wringer.
‘I don’t want to be alone,’ came her raw admission.
Tonight or any other night.
‘Take me to bed, Azar,’ she whispered fervently, her fingers digging into his shoulders, holding on for fear he’d refuse. Reject her. For fear the lust she saw in his eyes was only in her imagination. ‘Make me forget for a while?’
The flare of need and triumph that blazed a moment later told her she wasn’t imagining it. And, while she knew this might ultimately be a risky path she was taking, she couldn’t help the blaze that flowed through her.
The heightening need speared her fingers into his luxurious hair, gripped it tight as he drew up her nightgown, to aid her in wrapping her legs around him. The better to feel the power of his arousal, a heated rod that immediately pressed, demanding, against her core.
She ground her hips against it, causing him to curse before a thick chorus of need left their lips. It tightened their connection, their mouths meeting in feverish hunger. Thick, untamed desire born of deprived need and residual fear drove their frantic hands faster, their movements increasingly desperate, until he pinned her against one wall, his breathing truncated as he feasted on her for an age, then lifted his head.
‘Again, Eden. Tell me you want this. That you want me .’
The demand was tinged with his usual arrogance, his imperious expectation of adoration and acknowledgment of his prowess. But, having lost chunks of valued memory, Eden had learned to search beneath the surface of words and expressions.
And she heard it. That sliver of vulnerability, of uncertainty, that spoke of a deeper need. That said that this extraordinary man, who was literally a king among men, didn’t believe his dominance was absolute. That when it came to her perhaps he lacked something—minute but essential .
And maybe it was extreme foolishness to open her heart to that, leaving her vulnerable, but here she was doing it. Discarding any smidgeon of power she might have mined from that knowledge and instead cupping his chiselled jaw in her palm, revelling in the muscle that jumped against her skin.
And with far too much emotion moving through her, she responded. ‘I want you. I feel as if…as if I’ve wanted you for ever. Even when maybe it wasn’t wise or sane or safe. I want you, Azar. Only you.’
Flames of pure lust and indecipherable emotion leapt in his eyes. She wanted to drown in the former, explore the latter more deeply. But he was spinning, striding with purpose towards the emperor-sized bed that befitted his status. He tossed her none-too-gently upon it, his hands attacking his clothes as he watched her bounce on the surface.
And once he was gloriously naked, and had ensured she was too, he prowled over her…a sleek, beautiful jungle beast.
‘You’re mine, tesoro . Say it.’
This time she had the wherewithal to shake her head. Because she knew, like his conquering kin of old, that he saw an inch and demanded a mile. She’d left more than a crack of her heart wide open for him. She suspected he would find a way in if she didn’t shore up her defences soon and effectively. But she wasn’t about to hand herself over on a golden platter.
So she slid her hand up his sculpted shoulder, thrilling in the sleek perfection of him, and buried her fingers in the hair at his nape. ‘You first. Tell me you’re mine and I’ll reciprocate.’
Those shutters didn’t come down immediately. But their silhouettes shimmered into sight. That ingrained propensity to guard his emotions, to keep his control, flared high before he rasped, ‘I’m not going anywhere.’
Not the same , her senses screamed.
But he was lowering his head, slanting his mouth over hers in searing possession that soon turned into fiery worship over every inch of her body.
‘I’m not going anywhere either,’ she returned, and then took the smallest triumph in seeing how that dissatisfied and unsettled him, hearing the lowest growl erupt from his throat.
The result was fire in his eyes, demanding mouth and hands, and a wicked edge to his possession as he quickly sheathed himself and parted her thighs. Eyes pinning hers, he kissed his way down one smooth inner thigh, then the other, his nostrils flaring as desire gripped him tighter still.
Then, with his fingers and his mouth, he tormented her long enough to drag pleas from her very soul before, levering himself once more over her, he slammed inside her, as if imprinting himself on her very soul.
Grabbing her hands, he shoved them above her head, imprisoned them against the headboard with one hand while the other captured her hip, held her steady as, with a fierce determination to conquer blazing in his eyes, he drove her right to the edge of the world, then held her there with exquisite precision. Until she was begging…then screaming.
Then she was soaring, crying out, ‘Oh, God, Azar. I can’t… I can’t… I’m coming!’
His triumph this time was absolute, as was the restoration of his control as he plunged his tongue deep into her mouth, tasting her pleasure and her surrender.
‘For me. Only me. Sí? ’
‘Yes! Only you!’
Words dissolved into action. Even as she was soaring he was flipping her over onto her knees, recapturing her hips. Then, with pure animalistic mastery, the King of Cartana reasserted his dominance. With fiery caresses, worshipful kisses and always, always, the relentless drive of his shaft, he finally gave a hoarse shout of his own, gifting her another sublime climax as he seized his.
Then, in silence, he stepped off the bed, caught up her sweat-slicked body against his own and marched them to his shower.
Eden could barely keep her eyes open as he gently bathed her from head to toe.
Or perhaps she didn’t really want to look into his eyes, see those shutters back in place.
Because from the corner of her eye she caught the tight clench of his jaw, the rigid way he held himself despite the slight tremble in his hands.
Yes, they’d been caught in the wildest tempest—but it was over. And now he was shoring up his defences.
It would be in her best interest to do the same. So she went one better and shut her eyes, scooping up her scattered emotions as he wrapped her in a sumptuous towel, after washing himself, then, striding back into his bedroom suite, placed her beneath the covers.
She didn’t even care that they were both naked. It would be absurd to call for modesty now, after what they’d done to each other. And it was too much effort to resist when he tugged her close, wrapped his warm, hard body around hers and instructed her gruffly to, ‘Sleep now, mi linda .’ He dropped a kiss on her neck, and added, ‘Rest that rebellious little spirit that I shouldn’t find quite so engaging and yet…’
Maybe it was her imagination that he’d left some words unsaid, or maybe she’d drifted off before he finished speaking.
Either way, her subconscious had other ideas.
She dreamt of sun-drenched joy, of playing with Max, and a hovering and protective Azar tossing swathes of broody, desirous looks her way, promising her the fantasy family she’d secretly yearned for.
But they quickly turned into a repetitive nightmare loop of frantic, shattered loss…a dark hellscape where she screamed her throat raw for her loved ones for what seemed like eons—until a firm hand was shaking her awake.
‘Wake up, cara ,’ a deep voice commanded. Hands pushed back her hair from her face. ‘You’re having a bad dream.’
And when she opened her eyes to the dark concern in Azar’s eyes it was to feel a piercing spike of relief, quickly replaced by the most harrowing lance of pain she’d experienced yet.
Her migraine hadn’t gone away.
Hell, it was ten times worse!
She was gasping through fresh waves of pain when the kaleidoscope of memories she’d feared lost for ever zipped into life, like forked lightning in a storm.
Only once the pain cleared, the memories remained.
Of Arizona.
Of Nick.
Of her and Azar.
Of that horrendous fight when he’d seen her coming out of Nick’s room after delivering a bottle of champagne to him and confiding in him that she was attracted to Azar.
Then had come the double blow of Nick warning her that Azar might not feel the same, followed by the cruel, humiliating words Azar had thrown at her soon after, confirming Nick’s words.
Her pain had been soul-shattering and her despair uncontrollable. She had known everything she’d thought special and sacred about giving herself to him had been a lie. That he was rejecting her as cruelly as her father had done. That she was getting a taste of everything her mother had suffered.
Throat-searing sobbing had been followed by a profound vow to herself not to fall into her mother’s trap of risking her emotions on a man. A man who would never feel one iota of what she felt for him.
She had been devastated that the man she’d given herself to thought of her as nothing but a convenient bed-warmer—a toy he could play with and discard—and she’d readily accepted when Nick had offered to take her for a drive, to get her away from Azar.
Only to suffer a different sort of terror. Nick, driving his Lamborghini way too fast, while raging—ironically—about Azar’s unfair privilege.
She remembered her screams as he’d taken a corner too fast. As tyres slid and glass shattered.
Then nothing.
Sorrow stung deep now, and the anguish of loss and grief for Nick was raw with reawakened memories.
Every look Azar had levelled on her since their accidental reunion finally made sense. All along she’d suspected she was the last woman on earth he’d ever want.
Now she knew.
He exhaled slowly. Heavily. Incisive eyes drilled laser-sharp into hers. The hand caressing her shoulder dropped to the bed and a different tension replaced the harrowing nightmare.
‘You remember.’
It wasn’t a question.
She’d survived one category five cyclone only to be plunged into another.
She pushed him away, hating her subconscious for not protecting her from this when it had protected her from those harrowing hours that last day in Arizona. Chest heaving, she threw her feet over the side of the bed and sat up, snatching up the towel she’d dropped earlier.
‘Eden?’ Imperious demand throbbed in his voice.
The battering continued, firing tremors through her body. ‘Yes. I remember.’
She didn’t need to look over her shoulder to know he’d stiffened further. That his deep censure was back.
‘I’ll get the doctor.’
‘No, I don’t need—’
‘I’m afraid this time it’s non-negotiable. You’ve suffered enough trauma for one night. I won’t risk your health.’
She wanted to laugh. Then cry. Then scream at him to stop pretending he cared for her when the glaring truth of how much he didn’t was a live wire writhing between them.
She clenched her teeth as he snatched up the phone and summoned his private doctor.
‘Are you sure you want to go down that route? I’m handing you the perfect excuse on a plate. A queen of unsound mind and low morals is surely worth the scandal just to get her out of the way and have full access to your son?’
His sharp intake of breath made her shut her eyes. She couldn’t bear to look at him. His voice ringing clear as a bell in her head was a searing reminder of one of the many insults he’d thrown at her that night, when he’d seen her exiting Nick’s room.
‘Women like you are only good for one thing. And even that cheap thing becomes entirely worthless when it’s spread about.’
‘Thanks for the offer, but if you’re trying to get rid of me scandal won’t be the thing that sways me. My father has told you the story of how my brothers and I came to be born more than a few times. I won’t be letting you go any time soon, cara . If anything, the challenge of drilling down into your choices intrigues me.’
She surged to her feet and spun to face him, fury momentarily overcoming the weakness and pain still gripping her body. ‘Challenge? My choices? How dare you? You called me deplorable names. And you…you—’
His sharp curse came as if from a deep dark tunnel. She realised she was swaying, losing her balance, just before he snatched her into his arms. Molten censure-filled eyes drilled into hers.
‘Enough of this! You have just got your memory back. We will fight, if you insist, but not until you’re in a better position to throw your verbal punches.’
‘You’re unbelievable—you know that?’ she breathed as he swung her up into his arms and returned her to his bed.
The memory of what they’d done there so gloriously unspooled like the most vibrant spectacle through her mind. She struggled to bite back a moan when he pulled covers that smelled like them around her.
‘I want to return to my own bed.’
That regal nostrils flared, betraying the fact that he wasn’t as unaffected as he projected. She didn’t care. Didn’t want to let it anywhere near her wounded heart.
‘Again, not until we do what’s necessary,’ he clipped out, one eyebrow raised in exasperating challenge.
‘Fine. Let’s get on with it, then.’
He stepped back, exposing every sculpted bronze inch of himself in unashamed nudity. The fact that it took three seconds too long to drag her gaze from him sent waves of heat to her face, and she exhaled in thanks when she was saved by the literal bell at the door.
Despite having been woken in the middle on the night, the doctor was impeccably dressed, and unflappable as he gently but firmly went through the file Dr Ramsey had transferred to him before standing up.
‘I’d like to perform a more thorough examination in the morning, Your Majesty. But for now everything seems fine besides the headaches. Those are to be expected.’
His gaze darted to Azar, who stood narrow-eyed, his hands on his hips, thankfully having thrown on a pair of lounge bottoms.
‘As long as you don’t overstress yourself you in the short term.’
‘Are you saying I can’t make love to my wife, Doctor?’ Azar demanded brazenly.
‘Azar!’
She couldn’t, of course, blurt out that she had no intention of letting him anywhere near her now she’d recalled his true feelings for her. Until she decided how best to protect herself and Max, she still had to maintain this ruse of being a happy family.
‘Well?’ Azar pressed, completely ignoring her sidelong glare telling him to shut up.
The middle-aged doctor, no doubt used to the eccentricities of royals, barely reacted. ‘I wouldn’t want to impose a pause on the physical if you don’t wish it, Your Majesties, but I strongly recommend you…moderate yourselves.’
She slapped her palms over her burning face, caught between fury at Azar and hysteria at this absurd conversation. ‘Oh, my God…’
Could this night get any worse?
She started to shake her head, thought better of it, and dropped her hands. ‘Thank you for the advice, Doctor. And I’m sorry to have bothered you at this time of night.’
‘Not at all. It’s my privilege to be of service to you, Your Majesty. And I’m glad that you’re on the road to full recovery.’
Azar’s brows clamped at the doctor’s twitch of a smile. He remained grimly watchful as he handed her pills to ease her headache and then, with a shallow bow, wished them goodnight and left.
‘You!’
That infernal sexy eyebrow arched. ‘Sí?’
‘You have a nerve…assuming I’ll let you anywhere near me!’
His face tightened. ‘Let’s not close the door quite yet on what works best for us, cara .’
Gritting her teeth, she flung off the covers, thankful when she felt sturdier on standing. Her head was still pounding, but she knew it would grow worse if she stayed there.
‘What works for you , you mean. I’m only good for one thing. Isn’t that what you said in Arizona?’
His lips firmed, and the skin bracketing his mouth paled a little while the tops of his ears reddened. On anyone else it might have looked like self-flagellation, or even unease. But he was masterful at controlling his feelings, and it was gone a moment later.
‘Get back into bed,’ he said, with unexpected gentleness.
But she suspected that too might be a tactic.
‘No. The only bed I’m getting into is my own.’
She rubbed at her temple, averting her gaze when his chest swelled with a deep inhalation. Knowing he was about to press the point, she tightened the belt of her robe and headed determinedly for the door.
‘Goodnight, Your Majesty .’
His harsh exhale just before she slammed the door behind her was her only response.
* * *
‘Eat something.’
Azar’s belly clenched hard as Eden’s gaze flicked in his direction, started to rise, then stopped halfway up his chest before returning to Max.
While he couldn’t fault her for showering their son with her attention this morning, he found he very much minded that she was freezing him out. That the eyes he’d stared so deeply into in the throes of the most profound lovemaking of his life were being denied him in the light of day.
Hell, he even felt the tiniest most uncharitable sensation of wishing her memory hadn’t returned just yet. Because he’d selfishly wanted time to grapple with his own bewildering emotions. With the persistent possibility that he’d relied too heavily on past crutches in his interaction with Eden three years ago, and been too quick to heap blame on her.
The possibility that Nick was not blameless…
He killed the self-deprecating laugh that growled up his throat. That hinted at the impossible notion that he might be floundering on a subject he didn’t want to delve into and—holy of holies—that he might be feeling the tiniest bit sorry for himself.
Hell, no.
It had never happened before, and he was damned if he would allow such useless emotions to vanquish him.
‘I’m not hungry,’ she murmured, with barely an inflexion.
It was the same tone she’d used since they’d dressed and gone to fetch their son for breakfast. Her mood was only transformed when she addressed Max. Then pure joy and gratitude shone from her eyes.
And, diablo , he was not about to admit to feeling jealous of his own flesh and blood. That would be the lowest of low.
So he shifted in his seat, reached for fresh fruit, sliced it before placing it on her plate.
‘Try. You need your strength, and we have much to celebrate.’
That drew her attention, as he had known it would.
‘Do we?’ she echoed hollowly.
‘ Sí . Your memories have returned. Surely that’s a good thing?’
Her gaze dropped, veiling her expression once more. Was it wishful thinking, or did he catch the shadow of regret in her eyes?
‘Well, if nothing else, I guess we both know where we stand now.’
His belly clenched tighter. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
She didn’t answer straight away, choosing instead to shower more attention on Max, who was devouring his favourite breakfast of pancakes painstakingly made in the shape of his favourite creatures by the palace chef.
After wiping a syrup-covered cheek, she slid Azar another no-contact glance. ‘A mere waitress could never hold her own in your world, never mind be Queen. Or something to that effect.’
‘You wish to turn every word I said to you three years ago in Arizona into a whip to flay me with? Before you do, remember that I was going with the evidence before me.’
‘What evidence? I did absolutely nothing to give you the impression that I had loose morals. Hell, you saw the “evidence” when I slept with you. And if we’re playing Remember when… Remember when you all but beat your chest in primal smugness when you discovered I was a virgin ?’
She whispered those two words, her cheeks flushing as she glanced furtively to where the staff waited just beyond hearing range.
Azar stared, wondering how he could have blocked so many obvious details from his mind.
With a heavier dose of the unease that had been eating away at him since last night, he forced himself to remember those flashes of innocence when they’d touched.
But, Nick’s possible scheming aside, she had still chosen him over Azar .
Yes, she might have been settling for second-best, but he couldn’t overlook the fact that the choice had been made.
And he, having spent his childhood coming second to his mother’s rabid ambition to elevate herself in life at all costs , had felt something crack in him when she’d made that choice.
It had been unforgivable then.
It was… should be …unforgivable now.
Unless she’d struck out in blind self-defence? Had her ‘I’m with Nick now’ been designed to hurt with words and not an actual truth?
But even as those niggles of doubt swelled bigger inside him he was fighting not to reach across the table, to experience the silky smoothness of her warm, firm skin all over again.
Arizona hadn’t been enough.
Last night had been nowhere near enough.
He was beginning to entertain the jarring possibility that what he was facing was a challenge without end.
He pushed every single disconcerting thought aside and nudged the fruit one inch closer. ‘The doctor is waiting for us. And he will most definitely not consider it progress if you turn with an empty stomach.’
Her frown deepened. ‘I can see him on my own.’
‘You can, but you won’t. Even if you can’t stand the sight of me right now, we have appearances to uphold—remember?’
‘And that includes invading my privacy?’ she bit out.
The signs of her fire were better than her chilled distance, even if she was using that fire to push him away.
‘What privacy, tesoro ? You already had Dr Ramsey share your history with me. There’s nothing more to hide, is there?’
Her eyes flashed with the pure fire he’d hoped to provoke. And, sí , maybe he was playing dirty, but he was that unsettled.
When he had her attention, he nudged the plate another daring inch closer.
Unfiltered exasperation was stamped in every inch of her body, but he watched her devour the fruit. And when he slid her a plate of buttery croissant, ham and eggs, he enjoyed watching her consume that too with way more satisfaction than he should have felt.
But he didn’t even fight it. Theirs was a conundrum hidden in a maze. It would take time to unravel.
And if he sensed time already slipping through his fingers…? That she might make another choice, leaving him in the cold once more…?
The constriction in his chest froze his breath. No. He would not permit that to happen.
What if the choice isn’t yours?
‘I’m done. Let’s go and get this over with.’
She stood, blissfully unaware of the tectonic chaos unfolding within him.
Max was tidied up, and she caught him in her arms and strode for the door, her intention not to leave him clear in every sinew of her beautiful body. It was a plan he wasn’t about to argue with. The thought of those hours last night still sent faint ripples of icy horror and dread through him, along with the knowledge that any harm befalling his son would’ve destroyed him.
But in the clear light of day he also realised that the ordeal had done something else. It had cut through his deep need to claim and establish a relationship with his son and turned it into a deeper yearning for more . And not just with Max.
He wanted more with Eden, too.
For a full minute he remained frozen as the knowledge embedded in him. Burrowing into all his alarmingly vulnerable places. Rushing through his chest like a tropical thunderstorm until he was drenched with pure, unadulterated need.
Rising, he followed his wife and son at a steady pace.
He would not be left behind. He was the King, after all.
But as he joined them, planting himself by Eden’s side as the doctor did his tests and pronounced her healthy and on the way to full recovery, he wasn’t so confident of the battle ahead to win his wife.
But, he was the King . And he had the blood of past warriors flowing in his veins. He only needed to find a way to achieve this more without fully exposing himself to any vulnerabilities.
Right…?