Chapter 32
CHAPTER 32
Pilar
I waited outside. I didn’t even know what to expect. I’d seen him smiling before the game as he read the note. I’d seen his gaze scanning the crowd as if he might find me in the sea of blue fans. I thought maybe if I tried hard enough, I could tell him where I was sitting, maybe connect our minds for the moment. Obviously, that didn’t happen. This wasn’t a romance movie. It was real life. And often, real love stories didn’t play out the way we wanted them to. Sometimes there was no forgiveness or redemption. Sometimes there were only words of goodbye and other times, no closure at all.
I wasn’t deluding myself into thinking he’d take me back just like that. It had only been a week and a half since we’d last seen each other. And sure, that time had been brutal, but maybe he’d realized that this wasn’t worth it while we were apart. With me, he’d be in the public eye. Asher would be in the public eye now and would no longer have the anonymity he obviously craved, so I fully understood if he walked out here and told me to leave.
When he finally walked through the gates, I braced myself, swallowing hard and glancing at Amir as if this was one of the scenarios where he’d have to take a bullet for me. When he merely got into the driver’s seat of the car and shut the door, that told me he wouldn’t. This was a solitary fight, as wars of the heart often were. Ben had changed into his warm-up clothes, his hair still wet from a shower, and his swagger on one thousand as he walked over to me.
“I got your message.” His expression was shuttered now, not euphoric like it had been before the game.
“And?”
“And.” He set the designer duffel bag resting on his shoulder down on the ground. “I think it deserves a discussion.”
“A heart-to-heart.” I licked my lips, my hands shaky, suddenly nervous.
“If that’s what you want to call it.”
Oh God. I’d completely blown this. My chest hurt. I didn’t know why I thought it would be easy. This was anything but. I felt like I was cutting myself open for him and he was just…neutral. Guarded. I didn’t want him that way. I wanted him to feel as vulnerable as I did.
“So?” He raised an eyebrow.
“I…” I closed my eyes briefly. When I opened them again, he was still staring at me, and I thought… to hell with it, what’s the worst that can happen ? I took a deep breath. “I love you. I’m in love with you, and I have been for the longest time and?—”
“How long?”
“What?”
“How long have you been in love with me?”
“I don’t know. Does it matter?”
“It matters to me.” He tilted his head slightly. “Were you in love with me the first night we hooked up?”
“Probably.”
“Probably.” He tore his gaze from mine and waved at someone behind me, probably one of his teammates since they all kept walking by, making this ordeal that much more mortifying for me.
“It doesn’t matter. The point is that I am in love with you. I thought I wasn’t ready for Asher, but…well, I’m ready for you, and you’re a package deal, and I…I want to try. I understand if you’re reluctant and don’t want to bring other women around your son without having the certainty that they’ll stick around, but I promise you that I will.” I paused momentarily, taking in another gulp of breath. “I mean unless you don’t want me to stick around. In which case, I won’t. But that’s all I had to say.” I looked away because I could no longer bear to look at him.
He stepped closer and closer until he’d closed the distance between us, and he couldn’t move another inch without slamming me against the car behind me.
“Look at me, Pilar.”
I did, slowly bringing my gaze back to his, my heart slamming against my chest.
“I’ve been in love with you for so long, I couldn’t even tell you when it happened. All I know is that I kept telling myself I wasn’t, because I thought you’d never see me in that way. I’m just…I’m just a footballer. A nobody. I’m a poor boy from the wrong side of the tracks. I’m not an aristocrat. I thought I could have a normal, quiet life and not have my son involved in any of this, and I know that being with you means the opposite of that. Being with you will flip my world upside down. It will bring chaos and cameras and stories.”
I bit my lip, looking down at my feet. This was exactly what I was afraid he’d say to me. He cupped my chin and tilted my face up so I had to look at him again.
“But if that’s what being with you takes, I’ll choose it every time. Because I love you. I love you, Princess. There’s no one else I’d rather be with. There’s no one I’d rather have my son around. There’s nothing without you.”
“Really?” I laughed, unable to help myself.
“Really.”
“You love me?”
“So much, Princess.” He pressed his lips against mine. “So much.”
We kissed, standing in a deserted parking lot with only Amir and the other guards who were around watching. We stayed until the sun set with the promise that we’d take it one day at a time.
Together.