Chapter 11
CHAPTER 11
Hours and hours later, Day closed the door to her room with the full knowledge that none of this was over. Hanin was dead, but there was still such distance between her and Kash. Who would have guessed that the attempt on her life would have been the highlight of her day? Now she had to sit down with Kash and figure out what to do with the rest of their lives, with their marriage.
She looked back into the room. He was sitting on the couch in her sitting area, staring into space. Her bed was not more than ten feet away. How lovely would it be to sink into her comfy mattress and drift off to sleep?
Perhaps they should put this whole conversation off. The day had been tiring. “I think I should go to bed.”
He didn’t look her way. “No. We should talk. We can talk here. There are no cameras. We can’t go back to my room. They’re still working in there. In the morning the press will be swarming and we’ll have to admit to everything. We’ll also have to announce that Mother is ill. Tomorrow will be a long day.”
“All the more reason to get some sleep.” And to put off the moment where they would have to decide whether to even try to make this marriage work.
“Day, I can’t go on like this. I want this over and done with tonight. I want to walk into that press conference tomorrow knowing I don’t have anything further to announce. I want my world peaceful again.”
Wow. That felt like a kick in the gut. One little demo and an assassination attempt and he was ready to blow up the marriage. Still, he was the one who’d been forced into it. She couldn’t hold him to a marriage he hadn’t truly wanted in the first place. “I understand.”
It was going to be a much longer night than she’d planned. They would have to draft a statement and figure out how to deal with the constitutional crisis dissolving their marriage would trigger, but perhaps it was for the best. She wasn’t sure she could stay married to him if they weren’t going to try to have an honest marriage.
She was in love with him.
“I don’t think you do understand, and that’s what we need to talk about,” Kash replied. “I’ve figured out what went wrong with the demonstration the other night at Sanctum. We can’t go to clubs. It doesn’t feel right. I’m not an exhibitionist. At least I’m not now.”
What was he talking about? “Kashmir, I’m sorry you didn’t enjoy the demonstration. I wish you had, but at least we know.”
He stood up, gracefully moving toward her. He’d been stiff for hours and still seemed anxious. He shrugged out of his jacket and kicked off the loafers he’d been wearing, getting more comfortable. “Yes, we know that I don’t like the thought of other people seeing me like that, but I have some reasons why I feel that way, why I might never be comfortable sharing that. I know there’s nothing shameful about it, but I’m not there yet. I might never get there. I have to know if you need the crowd.”
She wasn’t sure what he was talking about. “The crowd?”
He moved to her closet, disappearing briefly inside. Kash walked out carrying a small leather bag and she winced.
Her kit. Not that it was actually her kit. That was packed away in the deep recess of a storage closet, along with most of her belongings from before her marriage. The brown leather satchel was the one Kori had put together for her back in Dallas. It was nothing more than a few hanks of jute rope, a paddle, some binder clips, and impact toys.
He walked over to her four-poster bed, setting the bag down. “Yes, the crowd. Do you require the crowd to fill your needs or is this something you’ll be happy doing alone with me?”
Hope lit inside her, a tiny flame praying to be stoked. “Kash, what are you saying? I need you to be plain.”
He turned to her, the look on his face so serious. “I know I didn’t please you that night. I thought about it all the way home, trying to find some excuse. There isn’t one. There’s merely a preference. Let me try again. Let me try while no one is watching. Everyone watches me. Every minute of the day. I play into it. I use it to my advantage. But while I was with you that night, I hated that other people were watching. For the first time in my life, I truly needed something that was private, something that belongs only to me.”
“I don’t need the crowd. I don’t need it at all.” She needed him. Only him. If he could need her, that would be all the fulfillment she would require. He was telling her he was willing to try. Another need rose, hard and fast and nearly volcanic. She’d tamped it down before and maybe for the same reasons. Maybe because she was evolving. “Take off your clothes, Kash. I want to see you naked. No one’s here except the guards, and they won’t leave their stations. It’s you and me and I want to play.”
“Ah, there she is. Do you know when you lower your voice like that, I can feel it in my cock, Day?” His fingers were on the buckle of his belt, working it free. He shoved his slacks and boxers off his hips, freeing his cock. His shirt hit the floor an instant later.
His cock obviously liked her Domme voice. It stood tall and proud, almost coming up to his naval. He didn’t have any problems with exhibitionism now. A thrill sparked along her spine. There was no playing now. No candy coating. No gentle easing in. He knew what she wanted. He knew she was the top and he’d done as she’d asked. The question now was how far could she push him? How much control could she get him to give into her hands?
“Was it only the crowd you didn’t like, Kashmir?”
He stilled as she moved around him. “Yes. It made it hard for me to relax. It’s been a rough time. I need you to help me be out of my head for a while. I want to be alone with you. I don’t want to share you.”
Given how often he’d shared lovers, she was taking that as a win. “There’s no sharing now. You’re all mine and I want complete and total submission from you. Can you give me that?”
“I don’t know. I have to figure out what I can and can’t give,” he said, his eyes down.
She could handle that. That was exactly the point. “All you have to do is tell me no. If you say no, I stop everything and we go back to the start and there are no recriminations. I want to try this with you but I need you to understand that if it doesn’t work, I’ll choose you.”
His eyes were suddenly on hers. “You would give this up?”
She’d thought about it for a long time. What was the scale on this question? How did it balance out? She knew what Kash’s issues were and they ran deep, childhood deep. They were ingrained in his personality. Was she willing to give him up over what was only one piece of their relationship? She’d lost him to his responsibilities before. Could she do it again?
“I would give this up if you need me to. If this is a choice between you and having this in my life, I’ll choose you.”
His shoulders relaxed, that tense look around his eyes softening in an instant. His hand came out, brushing against her cheek. “I will never ask you to, love. I’m sorry I acted the way I did. If I can’t give you what you need, we’ll make accommodations, but I think you’ll find I can learn over time.”
“You haven’t learned much if you think this is how you greet your Mistress.” She gave him her best stare, the one that was sure to have every sub in a mile radius dropping to his or her knees.
Kash’s lips turned up and he gracefully fell to the floor. “Not Mistress. I don’t like the term.”
So he was already attempting to push her buttons. “You think this is about you then?”
“I know this is about me.” Confidence rolled off him. “I control this. This might be the one thing in the world I truly control. Everything is responsibility and politics, and those offer only the illusions of control. It’s what I thought about while I was hanging in suspension that night. I thought about the fact that my life is a series of choices that are forced on me. This isn’t forced. This is offered. I can take it or leave it and the world won’t come to an end. No one goes hungry because I made this choice.”
It was precisely why so many powerful men and women chose this way to play. They did it because their actions affected so many in the real world. They could choose to be a bit selfish for a few hours, to let go and allow themselves to relax and hide away for a while. To let that part of them that needed to be soft and submissive have some sway.
She opened the kit and picked up the crop Kori had purchased at her behest. It was a nice one, flexible with a soft leather tip. She could control it, her strength and the angle of impact determining how much pain she inflicted. Of course, it could also be a tool. She slapped it against her hand, bringing Kash’s eyes up to hers.
“Spread your knees wide.” She let the soft tip of the crop find his belly, running it up and over his muscled abs and perfect chest, all the way up to his chiseled chin. “Spine straight. Now tell me what you think you should call me, if not Mistress. This is my fantasy, too. If you want to spend some time being worshipped and adored, then I want to feel powerful. Needed. I want to spend a few hours being someone more than merely Dayita.”
“You are always powerful,” he whispered. “Always. You don’t need a crown on your head to be a queen. That’s who you are. You are my Queen and I do want to worship you. Show me how powerful you are, Your Majesty. Show this lowly servant what a queen is.”
Every word that dripped from his mouth seemed to race through her veins, lifting her up and taking her higher. She looked down at her “lowly” servant, taking in every inch of his gorgeous flesh. She took her time, inspecting him carefully. She let her hands run through his raven dark hair. He kept it long and it had a natural wave to it. She tugged on it, pulling it to the point that he would feel the sizzle along his scalp. A shudder went through him and she watched his cock twitch.
Yes, that was what she wanted to see.
“Did you like it when I tied you up?”
His head was back, giving over to her hold. His eyes were on hers, as though he couldn’t look anywhere but exactly where she wanted him. “Yes, but I couldn’t relax because everyone was watching me.”
She should have thought of that, should have realized that Kash tended to overcompensate for his flaws, for his fears. He would smile and play the fool in the press because he didn’t think there was a way out. Every lover he’d taken before had been with him for the purpose of being seen. This was a chance to have something secret, something that belonged only to the two of them.
“Then I should reward you for being such a good servant. You did so well. You let me show our friends exactly the techniques I wanted to show them. I thank you for that and I honor you.”
“What would you have done if I didn’t mind being seen like that?” Kash asked.
“Like I’ve told you, I didn’t have sex with most of the people I topped.”
“But if I had merely been a submissive coming to the glorious Mistress Day, if I had been some random man who needed a bit of play, who let you tie me up and suspend me off the ground, what would you have done?”
He wanted to be different. Of course, he was, but he needed the words. He wanted some dirty, filthy fantasy? She could give him that.
“If you had walked into my dungeon, all of my rules would have flown out the door. I would have looked at you and known that you were everything I had been waiting for. I would have tied you up. I would have used my ropes to bind your arms and legs. They would cling to your body and you would feel them as an extension of myself, of my will. You would feel me all around you.” She sighed and moved on, letting the crop trace the line of his spine as she continued. “You would be wound up tight and then I would suspend you. You wouldn’t be able to fight me or to do anything at all but take what I give you. I can give you pleasure or pain and it’s all my choice. You would swing in my trap, your body both heavy and light at the same time. You would be secure. You would know I would never, ever let anything harm you, that I would work my hardest to ensure your safety so you could enjoy the ride. Did I say I would wrap my rope everywhere? Because there would be one place I left untouched, open and vulnerable.” She completed her circle, moving in front of him again. “Can you guess which part of you I would have left out? Which delicious piece would be dangling like ripe fruit for me to enjoy? Can you show me?”
His body had tightened, but not in a bad way. He reached down and gripped his own dick, stroking himself with a rough hand. “This part.”
She slapped the tip of the crop over his hand, a gentle sting which had him releasing himself. “No touching what belongs to me. You’re my servant and that means your cock is mine, a treasure of the royals like my crown or my scepter. You wouldn’t like what happens to thieves.”
Or he would, because it would lead to an insanely pleasurable round of torture.
The hint of a smile crossed his face before he schooled himself again. “No, Your Majesty. I wouldn’t want to find out what happens to thieves. I apologize. Please continue your story. It was just getting good.”
“I would suspend you so you were looking down, so you could see me moving underneath you. Did you like my rig?”
“It was perfect. I did love how you used science and engineering to such kinky ends. Our professors at Oxford would approve.”
Likely not, but she had used their methods. “With my machine, I can move you easily up or down, and I would move you into the perfect position where I could touch your cock. Like I said, it’s ripe fruit and I would pick it. You would be utterly helpless while I played with your cock.”
She reached down, gripping him as he’d touched himself. Kash liked it rough. A growl went through him, but he managed to stay in his position. She eased down on her knees in front of him, holding that magnificent cock in her hand.
“You’re going to kill me,” he whispered, his jaw tight.
No. Just torture him a bit. “It’s my right to play with you however I see fit. Rigging you up without someone around to help me if something went wrong would be unwise and would put my precious servant in potential danger, so I can’t do that tonight. But I can give you a little taste of what it would have been like. Would you like that, my servant?”
“I am here to do her majesty’s bidding,” he replied, his voice thick.
She stroked his cock, loving the feel of him hardening in her hand. She could barely get her fingers to meet around the stalk. With a little twist that made him hiss, she got back to her feet. “Go to the bed and lie down, facing up. I’m going to tie your wrists down.”
He grimaced, but managed to get to his feet and place himself where he needed to be. Kash laid himself out in the middle of her bed, on display for her pleasure. It would be easy for her to do what she needed to do, to initiate him into honest play.
“Place your wrists above your head, hands toward the posters.” She’d already found her rope, playing with the length in her hand. Kash moved his arms to form a V from his body. Such strong arms. She slid the rope along his right arm, letting him feel the fabric and how heavy it was. She snaked the jute around his wrist, watching him shiver. She tied one end around his wrist and the other to the heavy post that held up the canopy of the bed. “Let everything else go. I want you to concentrate only on what I’m doing to you. How do you feel? Concentrate on your body and the responses to my stimuli. How did you like it when I touched you with the crop?”
His eyes closed and he breathed out, his body relaxing again. “I liked it. I liked the way it felt. I liked how unsure I was whether you would caress me with it or if you would slap that tip against my skin. And then when you struck, the pain flared, but it was good. It felt like my skin was alive.”
She worked the rope over and around his wrists. “Did your cock respond?”
“Yes. It got harder. I wanted more.”
She secured his right wrist and moved on to the left. “How does being tied down make you feel?”
“Oddly safe.” He pulled gently at his right wrist, as though to check to make sure he couldn’t go anywhere. “I feel like I’m laid out for a feast. You’re going to eat me alive, aren’t you, Your Majesty?”
Then he’d already figured out what her game was. Though he might not know all her moves. She tightened the left wrist, not so much he would lose circulation. Just enough so he could feel it, know he was caught and he wasn’t getting away.
“I’m going to take what’s mine. I’m going to feast on everything you have.” She tied his left wrist down and was ready to begin.
She was going to kill him. He was going to die and Kash was perfectly fine with it. This was everything he needed. He needed her dirty and dominant, needed to feel like every bit of that glorious brain and stunning body was focused on one thing and one thing only—him.
Dayita wasn’t thinking about what he could do for her, what his position could buy her. She craved his body, his private soul, and he suddenly realized that he’d only felt this wanted once before in his life.
That day by the river when she’d told him to hold still so she could kiss him. She’d been dominant then, too. It had been the exact quality that had drawn him to her. Day had known her mind and believed in herself. She hadn’t needed a man, but she’d chosen him anyway.
He pulled at the bindings, not to try to get away, but because he liked the sensation of being so vulnerable. There was something dark and forbidden.
A king is never weak.
He forced his father’s words out of his head. His father hadn’t meant them as anything but a mantra, and he understood that now. His father hadn’t seen him as weak. That had been Kash’s own insecurities, and they had no place here. He wasn’t a king in this place. He was a servant. He was Hers.
It was a good place to be.
She had the crop in her hand again. His whole body tightened at the sight of her. She was sex on two legs, pure feminine willpower. The blouse she was wearing had come open, showing the tops of her golden breasts, and he longed to see her nipples, for her to offer them to him so he could suck and lave them with his affection. The black silk of her shirt looked perfect against the golden tone of her skin. For all the tough trappings of her persona, her face was still soft and feminine even when she barked orders his way.
“Bring your knees up.”
He moved them up so his feet were flat on the bed.
“Feet further apart. As far as they can go.” She snapped the crop against his inner thigh, showing him what she wanted.
The pain flared and then sank into his skin. He was certain if he hadn’t been so aroused, the damn crop would hurt, but now his dick threatened to explode every time she swiped it against his flesh.
He didn’t think about it. He simply moved his feet until the crop came off his thigh. Wide. She’d spread him so wide. His cock was there, open and vulnerable to her. To his queen.
He gritted his teeth as she ran the crop along his inner thigh again, brushing over the little red spot where she’d flicked him. The leather tip ran along his sensitive flesh and then found his cock.
He was not going to come. He was not going to come. He was going to last.
“Stay right where you are.” She put the crop down and he watched as she unbuttoned her skirt and let it drop to the floor. She slowly undid the buttons on her blouse until all he could see was the lovely green bra and lacy panties she wore underneath. And all that gorgeous skin of hers. “You’re so beautiful, Kashmir. I love how hard you are. Your cock is lovely and look, it’s offering me a gift.”
Day reached out and swiped her finger over his cockhead, gathering the drop of pre-come that had pulsed out.
He watched as she sucked her finger into her mouth, eyes closing as though she was concentrating on her treat, as though she loved the taste of him.
He stared down his body, unable to take his eyes off her. When he was in charge, he simply fucked his partner until she came and then he would have his pleasure. Never had he spent such decadent amounts of time on the sensations of touching each other, of being vulnerable to another human being. She could call it play all she liked, but this was something more. This felt sacred to him, something he could only ever do with her because she was the right woman, the only woman for him.
The only woman who could conquer the king and let him be a man.
“You taste so good, my servant.” Her nipples were hard points outlined by the silky cup of her bra.
“There’s much more where that came from, my Queen. All for you.” Only for her. From this moment and forever more. Only for her.
He loved the arrogant smirk that hit her lips. “I can only imagine. I think I’ll have to take you up on that. I find I’m very hungry.”
She ran her hands up either leg, brushing the flesh there as though inspecting every inch of her possession.
“Then the queen must have her feast. Is this what you would have done? Would you have placed me naked in your web with nothing but my cock exposed for your pleasure?” The vision tightened his gut, arousal pulsing through him. He wasn’t a man who had to wait for pleasure, but now the anticipation was a form of joy. He didn’t have to worry that Day would leave him like this. She wouldn’t ever leave him at all.
She climbed onto the bed, her limbs moving with the sensuous grace of a cat. “Yes. I would have lowered you so I was able to easily torture your cock. A lick here. A caress there. And when you thought I would walk away and leave you wanting, all trussed up and desperate, that’s when I would suck you into my mouth. That’s when I would work you to the back of my throat and milk you dry.”
He was not going to come. He was going to think about baseball or a sport he actually knew something about, and then he would survive her torture. “Now I wish I’d been a bit more brave.”
Her nails scored lightly down his torso as she loomed over him. “Bravery has nothing to do with it. This is all about finding what works for the two of us. Privacy works for you. I’ll be honest; I’m not much of an exhibitionist when it comes to sex either. I’m happy to have you to myself, happy to keep you from the lustful gazes of all those other women. And men. Many of the men were looking at you, too. They should know better than to look at the queen’s property. Don’t they know what happens to those who even think to take what belongs to the queen?”
Something bad because his queen was a badass. Yes. She wasn’t some delicate flower who sat in the sun all day, waiting for someone to bring life to her. She fought. She worked. She protected.
She was precious.
“No one would dare and you should understand that if anyone tries to hurt my queen, I will be her warrior.”
She leaned forward, her body brushing against his. “And what a warrior you are. So strong. Let’s see how long my warrior can hold out on his queen.”
Her mouth hovered over his, the cups of her bra sliding on his skin. He could feel the intoxicating mix of silk and warm, soft flesh. Then all that mattered was her tongue against his bottom lip. She dragged it over him and he felt the sizzle down his spine. She deepened the kiss, urging his mouth open. This he could do. He might be totally under her control, but his tongue could match hers, sliding in an intimate glide that had them both panting. Over and over she kissed him, her body pressed to his. She’d made a place for herself between his legs, and her pelvis rubbed against his dick, threatening to push him over the edge.
No. He wasn’t going to give in. He wasn’t going to give up. Not until she’d had her pleasure, not until she’d taken him deep inside her body and ridden him like a racing stallion.
She kissed her way down his body and he bit back a groan. She was determined to make him insane. He was sure of it. It was there in the way she kissed along his jawline, ran her tongue over the flesh of his neck. Those dainty fingers of hers found his nipples, rolling them at first, and then giving him a hard tweak.
He held on to the ropes, his only lifeline in a sea of pleasure. He had to stay focused or he would let his queen down. She was the important one, her pleasure the goal.
And that was why it worked, he realized. Day was thinking the same thing. How many times had he heard Taggart and his friends talk about the “exchange”? BDSM, he’d been told, was an exchange, and it only worked when it was one of equality, when each partner brought his or her unique gifts to the relationship, offering them up with generous hearts. Kash had laughed inside because he’d seen it as an exchange of orgasms, and wasn’t that really the point of all sex?
This was more. While he was concentrating on pleasing Day, she was focused on pleasing him. While her happiness was the goal, his was also her goal.
When both partners put aside all selfishness and concentrated on the needs of the other, that was when the exchange worked.
God, he’d thought Taggart had been talking about sex. He’d been talking about love. He’d been talking about how to build a marriage.
The king and queen would always have to think about their country, but he was more than a king. He was Kash and she was Day, and they could find their own path, their own rule, their own ways to love each other.
His father’s way had been to keep all his precious memories in a lockbox and try to show everyone how strong he was. Kash could find a different way.
Day’s mouth hovered over his cock, the heat nearly frying his brain. He wanted to shove his pelvis up, forcing his cock inside those luscious lips, but he held still. This was her time and he was her prize. He wasn’t going to take that from her. Instead, he stared down the length of his body as she leaned over and her tongue darted out, swiping across his cockhead.
His hands tightened on the ropes, holding himself in place under the sweet lash of her tongue.
“Don’t you come, my servant.” The words hummed against his sensitive flesh and he could feel her lips there, smiling as she tortured his cock. Her nails brushed against his heavy balls right before she cupped him. “You won’t like what happens if you displease me. We’ll see how my servant feels about a cock ring.”
She squeezed his balls to brush along the right side of pain.
His eyes rolled to the back of his head, and he bit his lip to stop himself from blowing then and there.
“Do you know how beautiful you are right now?” She sucked the head of his cock into her mouth, heating his body until he was sure he would burst into flames. She whirled her tongue over and around and then gave him the barest hint of her teeth. “I love watching you dance on the edge. I love watching you control yourself so you don’t go over too fast and ruin the pleasure.”
He shook his head. “Not about the pleasure. Want it to last because of you. Want to stay here with you. That’s why I fight. I don’t want this to ever end.”
He wanted the moment to stay suspended, forever right here with her. It couldn’t. He knew that, but he could draw it out. He could make it last so the memory would feel like days instead of hours.
“I don’t either. It doesn’t have to. This place where we can be whoever we want to be, it never goes away, it’s merely hidden for a while. But each and every time we’re alone, you’ll have all of me, Kashmir. And when we’re not alone, know I’m waiting for you. Even when we’re not alone, know that I will be your queen, your wife, your love. However you need me, that’s what I’ll be for you.”
He didn’t need her to be anyone but exactly who she was—his perfect match, the one who could bring out the other side of him, the only woman who could make him whole.
“Be mine. That’s all I need.”
The smile that crossed her face was glorious. “Only yours. I only need one servant.”
“And I only need one queen.”
She unhooked her bra and her breasts bounced free. She palmed them, teasing him with the sight and the fact that his hands were still tied down. They twitched to hold her, but she merely gave him a show, rolling her nipples and rubbing the satin of that patch of underwear over his cock. He could feel how wet she was, the fabric damp and slick with her arousal.
It was torture, but the best kind.
“Kash, are you sure you want this?”
“Yes, I’m sure I want this orgasm. I will take it over my next breath. If you don’t hurry, it might be my last breath ever, my Queen.”
She laughed, the sound magical to his ears. “That wasn’t what I was talking about. I was talking about our marriage. Are you sure? Because I was thinking maybe my servant would like to help me out. My kingdom is in desperate need of a prince or a princess.”
He groaned again, having to bite back the harsh shot of arousal her words sent through him.
He was going to have a family with her. He was going to have children who ran through the palace, children who laughed and played. Children who he could teach to be the one thing they needed to be—happy.
“There is nothing I could want more than to serve my Queen in this way.” He stared up at her, needing her to know there was nothing playful about this. “I love you, Dayita. I’m sure. There’s no one else for me from now on. It’s you and me and our family.”
“Just us.” She leaned over and brushed her lips against his. “And the world, but mostly us.”
She shifted her hips and he felt the thin crotch of her undies slide to the side as his cock finally found her pussy. Day got to her knees above him, taking him with the bold, aggressive nature he’d come to crave from her. She lowered herself onto his cock.
Kash couldn’t stand it a moment longer. He tilted his pelvis up, feeling her sink onto his cock.
“I should punish you for that, my naughty servant.” She moved above him, rolling her hips and taking him as deep as he would go. “But I can’t help myself either. I need you. I love you.”
“I love you, too, my Queen. He needed her more than he could possibly say. He worked with her, letting her ride him. Her body moved over his, taking what she needed and giving him back everything she had.
It couldn’t last. When Day’s head fell back and he felt her clench around him, he gave up.
The orgasm was a flash fire, running through his system and leaving him scorched. Day fell forward, her head finding his chest.
He could still feel the pulse of the aftermath when she looked up at him.
“Don’t think we’re done yet, my servant.”
He wasn’t done serving her. Not even close. He was ready to spend the rest of his life doing exactly that.