Chapter 5
Present time—
“On your knees,” I growled, shoving on the slim shoulder of the nameless young woman in front of me. She was the third one I’d pulled into my room in the last hour. Frustration pulsed through my veins. The vargulf was agitated. He wanted to fuck. I wanted my mate.
My cock had hardened with the need for sex, but I couldn’t seem to complete the act. Me. The goddamn Alpha. Every time I tried to shove my erection into a warm, waiting hole, I pictured Sadie’s face. It felt like a betrayal.
Why the fuck was this happening!?
I’d fucked other women since we met. Hell, I shared a bed and fucked more than one while she masturbated next to me. We both got off at the same time. I’d cuddled with her afterward.
My head lifted, and I sniffed. Sadie’s scent was beginning to fade. That only made it worse.
“Open your mouth. Wider.”
I shoved my cock inside, grasping the blonde hair in front of me as my hips surged forward. I had to shut my eyes, pretending it was Sadie on her knees. Dark hair. A sweet smile. Eyes that shimmered with lust and need.
My hips swayed, driving deep, even when I heard the girl choking. She sputtered around my girth, but I didn’t relent. I couldn’t. The vargulf grew excited. He rammed down the willing throat and enjoyed the saliva that dripped from the quivering mouth. He saw only a means to satisfy himself.
For the first time, I felt disgust. The conflict waged a war inside me. I wanted to stop him. A sneer dominated my lips, and my fangs elongated, a partial shift allowing my claws to break through my fingernails. The pain of it sharpened my focus.
And that was the moment I realized I was no longer fully controlled by the vargulf. He didn’t dictate my every thought and action. His thoughts and mine. . . separated. Two beings. One body. A shared soul.
It never occurred to me until now that becoming the vargulf had ripped away my human/wolf side. I’d assumed it was consumed with the merger. But now I understood it was a deception created by the vargulf. A means to keep me submissive to his demands, to follow out his carnal appetites, and to kill without mercy.
Wolves were not bloodthirsty, mindless killers. That was the vargulf—his requirement for the privilege of combining our essence and becoming one with the monster.
Until now, I hadn’t realized how much I’d given up. He almost destroyed my wolf and the man I had once been. The thoughts raced through my mind as I felt the vargulf’s excitement. He liked that the girl reached out and gripped his legs. She tilted her head back, allowing deeper penetration.
Shocked, I realized he didn’t know what I felt.
We had somehow. . . unlinked.
My body went through the motions, shuddering as I spilled my seed, growling when the girl swallowed it down. I felt nothing. The enjoyment belonged entirely to the vargulf.
It was strange. He didn’t seem to notice the alteration.
I could feel everything he wanted, desired, and needed. It no longer dominated my every thought or overtook my will but dug in with sharp, painful barbs. I winced, but no change in facial expressions betrayed the pathway of my thoughts or the confusion that slowly gave way to rage.
He tricked me, used me, and bent my will like every other being he deceived since our merger. Everything was always about fulfilling his needs and objectives.
Even the war with the Devil’s Murder MC.
And that was when the conflict became too much. The fury over my son Fang’s death gave way to sorrow and the truth that he was also to blame for the accident that night. He was so stubborn, so defiant. Fang had to learn everything the hard way. He bucked against my will as Alpha.
But. . . did he? Was that only the perception of the vargulf?
Nooooooooo.
My son. Dead. Why did he rush off that night? What happened? I had no memory of those final moments before he sped off on his motorcycle. I struggled with blame and agony over his loss.
My head began to pound with a sudden ache, like a dozen hammers were battering against my skull at once. My vision blurred. The vargulf stilled as she sensed something was off.
“Get out,” he roared to the girl who scrambled to listen.
The door slammed shut as she left us alone.
Fatigue pressed in, and I stumbled to my bed. I flopped onto the mattress as my vision darkened. Before I lost consciousness, I made a vow to discover the truth, and if the vargulf killed my son, I would destroy him.
THE VARGULF REGAINED control.
When I awakened, his mind almost completely shut out my thoughts. I felt his triumph when he knew I figured it out.
So, he wanted to battle wills. Fine.
The vargulf forgot one crucial detail. He was a beast, but I was the Alpha. I had access to power he would never be able to use without my consent, and I didn’t fucking give it. Not anymore. Now, I was fighting two wars. One with the vargulf. The second with those fucking crows.
Game on, motherfuckers.
The vargulf still couldn’t hear what I thought. Sure, he bulldozed back into control, but now that I wasn’t unconscious, he couldn’t maintain it. The Alpha wolf part of me wouldn’t allow it.
He snarled as I stood, marching toward the bathroom to shower. I stripped, tossing my clothes onto the floor. My shoulders rolled back as I cracked my neck, noting the stiffness in the joints. Turning the water as hot as I could stand, I let the steam build up and stepped under the spray. The heat penetrated the muscles, and I began to relax, grabbing shampoo to lather into my hair. Once I finished, I soaped up my body, pausing to stroke my growing erection.
Fuck. My thoughts drifted to my female. My beautiful mate.
Sadie. I didn’t dare say her name out loud. I didn’t want the vargulf to focus on my woman. He didn’t deserve her.
Christ. I didn’t either, but at least I truly desired and needed her, not just to further any agenda.
My hand tightened around my shaft, gliding from root to tip. A groan left my lips as I slapped my free hand on the slippery tile in front of me. I hunched over, gaining speed as my hand moved faster.
All I could think about was Sadie. Our joining. The slick, tight pussy that I dreamed about whenever I shut my eyes. How perfect she’d felt, how warm and wet and inviting. She clenched around me when she came, and I hated that I’d been unable to look into her eyes.
The vargulf had been blinded by Carson Phillips. Her other mate. And he fucking knew how to weaken the vargulf before I did. Smart. Maybe I should consider making him an ally if I didn’t end up killing him first.
Sadie had cried out a name when she spasmed around my cock. It wasn’t my real name. She never learned it because the vargulf wouldn’t allow it. He knew there was power in an Alpha’s name.
Fuck. That was how he subdued me.
I pushed the thought aside, focusing on my female again. Sadie. I need you. Come back to me.
I felt the magic leave my body with the words, pulsed outward into the atmosphere by my Alpha blood. She would hear it and obey. Not because she didn’t have a choice like the vargulf forced her on so many occasions. She would come back to me because she mated my Alpha wolf. The bond demanded it.
But there was more there—a hint of feelings that ran deeper.
I didn’t have time to explore this line of thought, not with the vargulf watching my actions. My body needed release.
I pumped faster, snapping my hips back and forth to increase the friction. My thoughts became consumed with my mate. I only wanted to please her, to fill her, and to make her mine again and again until she couldn’t deny that she belonged with the Alpha.
A shudder seized my body before I came, coating the wall in the cum I wanted to fill her with instead. The need and drive to procreate almost consumed me. That was another marked difference between the vargulf and me. He didn’t need an heir. I did. That desire rose from my wishes alone.
I dragged a ragged breath through my lungs. I had to find a way to separate from the vargulf before he broke my bond with Sadie or killed her to prove a point. He would do it if he thought it would keep me in line.
The vargulf needed to hunt. I’d kept him caged inside me for weeks, increasing his hunger and need for carnage until the feeling made my skin crawl. I did that intentionally, but at the time I decided, I hadn’t yet realized why. Now I understood the reason. He was weaker when he fed less often.
He tasted blood for the last time when I marked our mate during the claiming. Sadie’s cunt had gripped my cock as I fucked her, but when I bit her and the bond completed, I felt my magic and cum enter her body. She could already be pregnant with my pup. I had to protect her from the vargulf.
Sadie had been gone for weeks now. Long enough for the life inside her to begin to grow and show her signs of her new condition. When I called to her in the shower, I almost felt it. My mate would return to me. Soon.
I needed to prepare for her arrival, but how did I accomplish that without alerting the vargulf?
Over three hundred years ago, my ancestor and alpha to the pack settled this stretch of land on the border of Nevada and California. We needed woods and a safe place for the Alpha and his pack. Our pups had been born here for generations. My new offspring would be born here, too.
I dressed and left the bathroom. When I reached the lower levels of my ancestral home, wolves had gathered to greet me. They lowered their heads, exposing their necks to show respect to their Alpha.
“What is it?”
“We have the crow female.”
“Which one?”
“The president’s woman. Bella Hart.”
Ah. Good. The faster we moved this war along, the easier it would be to secure my bond with my mate. Of course, I planned to use the crows to accomplish this task. I would need their help to destroy the vargulf.
When Crow and the Devil’s Murder refused to send a reply after I released Talon, I had no choice but to act. I sent my swiftest wolves to take Bella. Crow would come for her. No mated male would ever let his female go without a fight.
I never would.
The vargulf was too obsessed with his hatred and need for consumption. He destroyed everything in his path. I didn’t see that until the last twenty-four hours. The fault for those who had been wronged belonged with me. I could no longer allow the vargulf’s atrocities to continue.
Sadie would return to me and bring Carson. His abilities would help me secure victory. I’d make him agree if I had to do it. I refused to lose my mate.
Bella’s arrival ushered the next phase of my plan into place.
“Where is she?”
“In the dungeon as you requested, my Alpha.”
“Good. Dismissed.”
My pack dispersed as I grinned—time to visit Bella.
In the old, musty cell my pack members placed her in, she rested on a dry patch of ground. Rats scurried by her body, and I growled, chasing most of them away. I had no intention for them to harm her. It defeated my purpose.
Her gaze swept around her when she woke, frantic as the night disguised my presence. I didn’t expect her to shove any fear aside and boldly demand justice for her sister. She intrigued me. The vargulf considered her an excellent candidate for his personal pleasure.
I wouldn’t allow that either.
Crow would be on his way soon, pissed because I had taken his woman. Good. We needed to settle our differences and the bullshit that led to our rivalry had to be buried if we wanted to survive.
For the first time since merging with the vargulf, I wanted peace.