4. The Heart Knows
4
The Heart Knows
Caspian
Anger ripples through me as I search for my shirt, running through a mental checklist while rushing to slip my arms into the sleeves.
I need to send word to Jezebel to come sit with Annalise while I’m gone, see to it that she’s still healing properly. It’s also true that I want her here because she’s one of the few people I trust to keep watch over her in my absence.
“Cas.”
Then, I need to have a guard sent up, which hadn’t been necessary while I was resting with her tonight, but now that I have to leave to put out this quickly-growing fire, she’ll need protection.
“Cas…”
If things go south, I’ll have to act quickly to get her out of here. That means no time to pack, and I wouldn’t bother with a driver. The fewer people aware of our location, the better.
“Cas!”
My steps halt midway through searching for my shoes, but only because Annalise has climbed out of bed, tucked the sheet around herself, and stood right in front of me. Her palms warm my face as she holds my jaw, forcing my eyes to settle on hers.
“Talk to me. Whoever you’re rushing off to see, whatever it is you think you need to do, remember that you’re the alpha. It can all wait,” she says calmly, causing my racing heart to settle. “What’s happening?”
That question leaves her mouth, and it causes one word to echo inside my head.
Punishment.
“Nothing’s happening.” I follow the lie with a smile, keeping in mind that she’s still coping with the stress of what she’s recently endured. “I’m just needed in my study. Something’s come up that requires my attention.”
She holds still when I take her hands, lowering them to my neck as I lean closer to place a kiss on her forehead.
“I’ll still run your bath. Relax, take as much time as you need, and if I’m not back by the time you’re done, lie down and get some rest. I’ll return eventually.”
Her brow arches when I lean away, and it’s clear she isn’t terribly fond of the vague timeframe I’ve just given.
“I heard you yell. That didn’t sound like nothing.” Her throat moves when she swallows deeply, and I note how her shoulders square the next moment. “Tell me the truth. I can handle it.”
On a normal day, I wouldn’t question that, but considering everything?—
“I don’t need to be coddled,” she says, cutting into my thoughts. “Tell me what’s going on.”
I’m torn, wanting to be completely transparent, but also knowing full disclosure might be too much for her right now. However, with her dark eyes fixed on me, I can’t deny her the truth.
“Dimitri’s made a discovery.”
Her brow tenses when I speak, and she lowers her hands, crossing both arms over her chest.
“I’m sure you understand why, in light of recent events, we had to bring your aunt and uncle in for questioning. Especially with Elizabeth in the wind and there being a chance that she’s made contact with them.”
There’s the slightest change in her expression, a softening in her eyes that’s hard to miss. She doesn’t speak, only nods.
“During the investigation, your aunt shared that you were once romantically involved with the defector I executed in the civic plaza.”
This time, her entire face falls slack, but there’s no trace of guilt or fear behind her eyes. Only what I’d guess to be remorse.
“Brendan,” she says.
I don’t think I ever bothered to learn his name, but I’m certain we’re talking about the same person.
“It isn’t sitting well with Dimitri that tonight is the first we’re hearing about this. To him, it… seems like you might have something to hide. Which also has him thinking the incident involving your cousin could be nothing more than a distraction.”
Her eyes shift away from mine, and she lowers to the edge of the bed.
“I won’t lie and say that I considered telling you about Brendan, because I didn’t. That night, you were…”
She pauses, and I think back to the execution, how absolutely feral I’d become at the thought of someone attempting to do our clan harm. I was… unhinged.
“I was afraid of you,” she admits, squaring her shoulders as embarrassment tints her cheeks pink, and her pride takes a hit. “We didn’t exactly have an open line of communication at that time. I guess you could say I worried how admitting to my connection to someone who’d openly threatened the clan might be received. I thought it could have possibly resulted in… your wrath being aimed in my direction next.”
She finally looks up, letting her eyes meet mine, but it’s short lived as she lowers them again.
Damn.
I let out a slow breath, feeling the weight of shame wash over me as I see myself through her eyes. It’s no wonder she kept this information to herself. Hell, if I were her, I probably would’ve done the same.
“It was only three dates,” she adds as our eyes lock again. “He was nice, I guess, but there was no chemistry. No spark. Not like it is with…”
Her words fall flat again, and as I hold her gaze, I imagine what she meant to say, what she isn’t quite ready to admit.
There’s no spark, like there is with me.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know of Brendan’s involvement at the time of our courtship, but I should’ve spoken up by now. I just?—”
“Annalise, don’t. I’m not owed an apology. No one is.”
She lowers her head again. “Perhaps not, but in the spirit of being open and honest tonight, you should know something else.”
I’m intrigued, but more than that, I’ve realized something. I’m not a fan of seeing her cower, staring at the floor. She’s my mate, and she’ll hold her head high no matter what, no matter who the fuck calls her actions into questions. I demand it.
She peers up when I lift her chin with my finger, waiting for our eyes to lock before I respond.
“I’m listening.”
She swallows but doesn’t look away this time. “When I left this afternoon, it was because Elizabeth said my aunt and uncle were in danger, that someone had made threats. She suggested that you might have been the one behind it. And I… I…”
“You believed her,” I say, finishing her thought.
Shame returns to her gaze, and my gut twists. She’s beautiful and disarming, but above all else, she’s strong. Too strong to be on some damned apology tour, explaining her actions when no one of any real importance has called them into question. Dimitri would kill me if he could hear my thoughts, but it’s true. If I’m not sounding the alarm on Annalise, that’s all that fucking matters.
“I’m sure you had your reasons.”
She pulls away when I stroke the side of her face, misplaced anger filling her eyes right before they flood with tears.
“You’d think that wouldn’t you? That she’d given me proof of her claim? But the thing is, my only reason for not questioning Elizabeth was that she’s family. That was it. Nothing else,” she admits. “I should’ve known better. If there’s one thing the Larks have shown me time and time again, it’s that being blood means absolutely nothing.”
She’s full-on sobbing now, and as a man who’s admittedly not well-versed in handling emotions, I’m not sure what to do. My instincts tell me to get closer, so I drop to one knee in front of her, reaching for her hands when she tries to hide her face.
I can’t imagine what it was like being raised by her aunt and uncle, but based on what I know, what I’ve seen, she deserves more. Especially seeing as how I’ve witnessed her love for them being completely unconditional. She wasn’t wrong to blindly trust Elizabeth, because we should all be able to trust that blindly. But unfortunately, when it comes to the Larks, they aren’t deserving of that kind of loyalty.
“I don’t blame you if you don’t trust me,” she says, and I accidentally let out a quiet laugh.
She peers up at the sound of it, and I swipe a tear from her cheek.
“Annalise, you’re one of the most honest, kind, and trustworthy people I know. Why the hell would I ever stop trusting you?”
Her brow gathers in confusion, and I laugh again.
“Because!” she scoffs. “I just told you that I believed Elizabeth’s lie, and?—”
I kiss her, which shuts her up, and the softness of her lips is a welcomed distraction from all that’s gone sideways today. By the time I manage to tear myself away from her, some of the tension has left her face, her shoulders. She searches my eyes, though, and I know she still needs an answer.
“I still trust you because I like to think of myself as an intuitive man,” I say with a smile. “And I’d also like to think that my heart wouldn’t betray me by letting me fall for you if this wasn’t real.”
She’s silent. Completely. But her eyes shine with a light I haven’t seen before, and it’s the only indication I haven’t said too much. A fact that’s confirmed when she leans forward, pressing her mouth to mine again. As much as I’d like to stay, I can imagine Dimitri, Creed, and Archibald have grown impatient.
“Bathe. Rest. I’ll be back as soon as I can.” I stand and remember another issue that needs resolving. “I’ll also be paying your aunt and uncle a visit. Dimitri’s held them here, leaving their final judgment in my hands.”
Annalise nods, but when I turn to make a quick stop in the bathroom to draw her bath, she squeezes my hand.
“And what about Winifred?” she asks. “I know what Elizabeth’s done is unforgiveable, but… I don’t believe Winifred had a hand in this.”
I stare at her, seeing how concern fills her eyes.
“Winifred is safe. She’s in a cell much like the one your aunt and uncle are being held in, but she’s unharmed.”
Relief washes over Annalise, and I’m reminded again how her family doesn’t deserve the space she reserves in her heart for them.
“I’ll be back as soon as I can,” I say again. “Open that door for no one other than Jezebel.”
She nods, and I kiss her forehead, then I feel her eyes on me as I cross the room to her ensuite. I’m only there long enough to light two candles, fill the tub with warm water, and then pour in a few drizzles of bubble bath. When I return and place my hand on the doorknob to leave, it’s written all over her face that she’d rather I stay. However, for her sake and mine, it’s best that I head to the study to put this issue to bed.
Sooner rather than later.