Chapter 14
Kiera
The revving of an engine pulled me from a deep sleep. Blinking against the sunlight streaming in through the floor-to-ceiling windows, and momentarily confusing me as to where I was, the events of the night flashed in front of me.
I bolted upright; the blanket that someone—Jackson, presumably, unless someone else had access to the cottage—pooled at my waist, reminding me that underneath, I was naked. I quickly covered myself up before standing, ignoring the dull throb in my head caused by the wine.
After Jackson had stormed off, I’d finished the bottle off in a bid to block out the myriad of feelings that had pounded through me after Jackson made me come.
Not just once, but twice. When the wine didn’t douse the fire burning through my veins, I helped myself to several glasses of whiskey, finally passing out on the couch.
On shaky legs, I made my way through the large cottage, admiring the wooden beams and stunning view of the surrounding fields that the enormous windows granted. I looked for any sign of Jackson, but deep down, I knew that the car I’d heard driving away was him bolting, leaving me stranded.
Anxiety bubbled in my stomach. I’d left my phone in the car after I’d run from who I thought was a murderer. What if Billie had tried to call me overnight? Guilt plowed into me like a sledgehammer. I’d done the one thing I always vowed I wouldn’t: drink when my daughter was home from school.
Even worse, I hadn’t given her a second thought after Jackson fucked me into oblivion in the cornfield.
Fuck. I was a terrible mom.
Finding the kitchen, I paused in the doorway as memories from ten years ago swirled to the surface of my mind. I’d never been to Jackson’s family cottage before, but this was the place we were planning to come to when the time came for us to take the next step in our relationship.
I’d envisioned the first time we made love, it would be slow and passionate next to a roaring fire, and that Jackson would have been gentle and tender as he claimed my virginity. Instead, our first time was in a muddy field where he fucked me hard, reminding me how much he hated me.
I swiped a stray tear away. I’d loved Jackson so damn much that there were times when I thought losing him hurt more than my father ostracizing me from the family. I never thought Jackson would hurt me, and physically, he hadn’t.
Emotionally, he was destroying me.
The familiar ringtone of my phone snapped me out of the trance I’d fallen into as I stared into thin air.
My brows furrowed as I crossed to the kitchen island, finding both my phone and my car keys sitting on the side next to a pile of new clothes. My gaze lifted to the window that looked out onto the driveway, relief seeping through me at seeing my car parked outside.
On top of the pile of clothes was a note.
Your car’s fixed. Let yourself out. I’ll be in touch. J.
A small smile crept over my lips.
Despite every cruel word Jackson had thrown my way, despite the mind games he was playing, he’d gone out of his way to not only get me a set of clothes that weren’t torn or mud-stained, but had also made sure my car was fixed so I had a way to get home.
Maybe, somewhere deep down, the boy I once loved was still buried inside, hidden by the man who claimed to hate me.
Or maybe that was wishful thinking.
Thankfully, the call to collect Billie from her sleepover hadn’t come, and I was able to breathe a little easier. Megan phoned shortly after I’d arrived home to ask if Billie could stay with her and Lucy for the rest of the day because they were going to the movies.
I’d reluctantly agreed, needing my daughter back in my arms, but wanting her to have fun with her friend. My other reason for wanting Billie home was a tad selfish. Alec would be returning from his work trip, and I was dreading seeing him.
Guilt had riddled its way into the deepest part of my body, and I was shit-scared that Alec would figure out I was hiding something from one look at my face.
For some bizarre reason, I hadn’t felt so guilty when Jackson had made me suck his cock, but having sex with him? Yeah, that guilt was eating me alive.
Still, the guilt didn’t stop me from checking the phone he’d given me every few minutes, hoping to find a message demanding I go to him, so he could fuck me again. He was the only man who’d made me come, but it went further than that.
He was the only man I truly enjoyed having inside of me, even if he had been rough.
He was the only man I wanted inside of me ever again.
But of course, that would never happen. Once Jackson had decided he’d had enough of playing his twisted games, he’d leave me alone, and I’d go back to being the bored housewife of a man I couldn’t bear touching me.
When the car pulling onto the driveway alerted me to Alec’s arrival home, my heart sank. I sucked in a deep, calming breath before plastering my well-practised fake smile on my lips and heading to the door to greet him.
“Hey, you’re home,” I said, trying not to cringe when he pulled me into his arms and kissed me.
“Did you miss me, babe?”
“I always do.” Lies, lies, lies. “Want me to make you a snack? I bet you’ve had a long journey home.”
He followed me into the kitchen, the hairs on the back of my neck standing on edge at feeling his eyes burning into my ass.
When we reached the kitchen, and I grabbed the bread to make him a sandwich, he pressed up against me, his cock pushing against me as he nuzzled his nose into the crook of my neck.
It took every ounce of effort not to give in to the urge to shove him away.
“Where’s the brat?” Alec asked, spinning me to face him.
I scowled. “Please don’t call my daughter a brat, you know I hate that.”
A flash of anger lit up his eyes. He hated me challenging him. “Chill, babe. I was only asking where she is; she’s normally glued to your side.”
“She’s at a friend’s for another few hours.”
A salacious grin twisted onto his lips, and a knot tightened in my stomach as his hands moved to grip my hips. “A few hours, huh? We can get up to a lot in a few hours.”
He lowered his face to kiss my neck, and I squeezed my eyes shut as nausea roiled in my stomach. Even if it wasn’t for Jackson’s threat ringing in my ears of what would happen if I had sex with Alec, I didn’t want to sleep with him.
Subtly trying to nudge his hands off my hips, I shifted, making him lift his head to look at me. “Alec, I’ve got a lot to do before Billie goes back to school next week, and I’m not really in the mood.”
“That’s okay, babe. I’ll get you in the mood.” He pressed his hips forward, his hard cock hitting my lower stomach. “Come on, Kiera, I haven’t seen you for a few days.”
He kissed my neck again, and bile crept up my throat, burning like acid. “Alec, please. I don’t want to.”
His grip tightened on my hips, his gentle kisses turning rough as he scraped his teeth against my neck. I couldn’t bear it, I didn’t want him touching me, and before I could think better of it, I shoved him away.
He stumbled back, a snarl contorting on his lips as his brows lifted in surprise at my rebuttal. I’d never stopped him before; usually, I just gave in to his advances because it was easier than what came next.
Alec didn’t disappoint. He raised his hand, bringing his palm down to slap me hard across the face. My head whipped to the side, my cheek stinging. He grabbed my arms, his fingertips digging into my skin hard enough to leave bruises.
“Are you fucking someone else? Is that why you don’t want to fuck me?” he snarled, spittle flying from his mouth.
Tears pricked my eyes. “No, I’m not.” More lies. “Please, Alec, I don’t want to right now.”
He shook me, slamming my back painfully against the counter. “You never fucking want to, Kiera. But you need to fucking learn. You’re my fiancée, one day you’ll be my wife, and that means I get to fuck you whenever I damn well please!”
Releasing me, he began unbuttoning his pants, and fear turned my blood to ice.
Frozen in horror, the ringing of his phone barely reached my ears.
Muttering a curse, he rebuttoned his pants before stomping away.
A few seconds later, his voice echoed in the hallway from where he was speaking on the phone in his office.
My knees collapsed, and I slowly sank to the floor, my cheek burning from his strike. Tears spilled over, sliding down my face as I buried my head in my hands and let a sob out.
I didn’t know how much longer I could live like this.