Chapter 19
Kiera
Tick. Tock.
Tick. Tock.
Tick. Tock.
I lost track of how long I’d been sitting in the living room with only the ticking of the Grandfather clock as background noise. I hadn’t bothered closing the curtains, so I knew the day was almost over, having watched the afternoon sun turn to dusk, before night came along.
At some point, I’d flicked the small lamp on, but I had no recollection of doing it. Just like I had no recollection of getting the bottle of wine that was now standing on the coffee table, tempting me to drink myself into oblivion.
Maybe then I would have been able to shut myself off from the unbearable pain that had settled in my chest following the phone call from James five days ago.
My mom was dead.
In a way, I was glad James’ call had come the afternoon after I’d taken Billie back to school. At least then, she didn’t have to witness me collapsing to the floor as grief so powerful plowed into me like a tsunami.
But she was the one person I wanted nothing more than to wrap my arms around, hold her tight to me, and never let go. I wanted to tell her that there was nothing she could do that would make me abandon her, nor would there be anyone on this planet that I would choose over her.
Unlike my mom, who didn’t even try to reach out to me after my dad ostracized me from the Carter family.
Since the call, I’d been in a daze, a flurry of emotions dominating my every waking thought.
I’d always held onto hope that one day, I’d reunite with my mom, and she would finally meet her granddaughter.
Other times, I was so fucking angry at her for siding with my father that I never wanted to see her again.
And now, I never would.
Alec had taken full advantage of my comatose state. He fucked me every night, and I just… lay there and let him. I didn’t have it in me to care that he was touching me, nor did I have it in me to care what Jackson would do if he found out I’d had sex with Alec.
The only thing I cared about was not getting a chance to say goodbye to my mom.
Jackson hadn’t been near or by since the day I came home to find him playing poker with my daughter. The same day I was certain he’d felt long-forgotten feelings stir from the depths of his soul, just like they had for me.
Until he bolted.
His silence following that night was like an invisible knife to my already bleeding heart.
The pain of losing my mom was at its worst on the fifth day after learning of her passing. It was my mom’s funeral, and despite James’ best attempts to convince my father to allow me to attend, he had forbidden it.
I wasn’t sure how many more barbs piercing my heart I could handle.
The clock continued to tick as I stared at the bottle. The only time I’d drunk in the last week was at Jackson’s cottage, and even though Billie was back at school, part of me didn’t want to give in to the urge to drown my sorrows.
I didn’t want to turn into an alcoholic mother that Billie was ashamed of.
Slumping back against the chair, a lone tear slid down my cheek. I didn’t bother brushing it away, knowing I had a flood of them waiting to fall. I’d been keeping them in over the last few days after Alec pinned me against the wall by my throat and told me to stop being a whiny cunt.
Thankfully, he’d left for a business trip yesterday, and I could allow my tears to fall without risk of repercussions.
Tick. Tock.
Tick. Tock.
Tick. Tock.
Somewhere in the house, the faintest noise reached my ears. I didn’t tear my gaze away from the wine bottle, telling myself that I could have just one glass and then stop. But my body tensed when a thickness descended around me, and the scent of musk filled the air.
I gave in, reaching across to grab the bottle of wine and pouring myself a full glass. I couldn’t deal with Jackson and his twisted games. Not tonight.
For what seemed like an eternity, neither of us spoke, and although I hadn’t turned to look at him, I could sense his presence hovering in the doorway.
“I’m sorry about your mom,” he said, breaking the silence.
I gulped a large mouthful of wine, relishing the tang on my taste buds. “Did you go to the funeral?”
Shuffling from behind indicated Jackson had moved. He appeared next to the couch dressed in a black suit, the tie undone, and hanging loosely around the collar. He sat down, his bent elbows resting on his knees.
“I’ve been in Miami for the last few days. My flight home was delayed, so I missed the service, but I made it to the wake.”
I bobbed my head several times before finishing the remainder of my wine in one go. I guessed that explained why he hadn’t pestered me until now. “Was he upset?”
Jackson sighed as he tugged his tie free and tossed it onto the table. “What do you think?” he replied, knowing exactly who I was talking about.
Refilling my glass, I wiped the tear away. “I think my father is incapable of feeling anything. And that includes toward the woman he was married to for thirty years.”
He didn’t reply. Not that I expected one, what could he say? Nothing would change the situation.
For several minutes, the only sound surrounding us was the tick tock of the clock. I refilled my glass and sipped my wine, allowing myself to feel the buzz slowly flowing through my veins.
Jackson suddenly stood and grabbed his tie. “I just came to offer my condolences. I’ll leave you to it.”
He made it as far as the doorway before I called out, without giving much thought as to what I wanted to say.
“Wait.” Hesitantly, I twisted to face him.
His back was still to me, but he’d paused, waiting for me to speak again.
I sucked in a shaky breath, tears threatening to fall like a waterfall.
“Don’t go,” I whispered, my voice breaking.
I didn’t want to be alone. I wasn’t sure I trusted myself.
“Please. I don’t want to be on my own. Please stay for a while. ”
I held my breath as I waited for a reaction, expecting him to tell me to go to hell and leave me to wallow in my grief. But his shoulders slumped, and he turned to face me, giving me the briefest of nods before coming back to sit on the couch.
My eyes fluttered open, and it took several seconds to realize I’d passed out on the couch. My head rested against something firm, and a warm hand rested on my waist, having crept under my shirt.
I pushed myself up, discovering I’d gone to sleep with my head in Jackson’s lap. He’d fallen asleep sitting up, his elbow propped on the armrest with his hand holding his head up.
Taking advantage of his sleepy state, I allowed myself to take in his features. His long lashes rested on his cheekbones. Day old stubble coated his sharp jawline, and his lips—his beautiful, kissable lips—were slightly parted as he breathed deeply.
The few times he’d snuck into my treehouse when we were teenagers and had fallen asleep on the makeshift bed I had inside the little cabin, I’d spend ages watching him sleep, not believing that he was really mine.
Unable to stop myself, I reached out to caress his cheek like I did back then.
His eyes fluttered open, finding mine as I smoothed my thumb back and forth over his skin.
He blinked and blinked again before visibly swallowing.
The two of us stared at each other, neither of us moving, neither of us talking.
My heart raced as his gaze dropped to my lips like it had done so many times since he’d barged back into my life. The hand resting on my hip glided up my side, sending a tremor of lust along my spine. When he reached my neck, his fingers wrapped around the back of it.
Roughly, he pulled me to him, our mouths crashing against each other. Adrenaline rushed through my veins as our lips parted and his tongue slid into my mouth, where they moved together in a slow, sensual dance.
When his hand dropped from the back of my neck, I waited for him to push me away. But the shove never came. Instead, he maneuvered me onto his lap without breaking the kiss.
Wiggling to straddle him with my legs on either side of his thighs, I gasped into his mouth when his hardening cock pressed against my entrance, the material of his pants and my panties under my skirt preventing him from slipping inside me.
Jackson’s hands moved to my hips as our tongues continued to explore each other’s mouths. We’d kissed a lot as teenagers, but not like this. Not with this amount of passion flowing between us.
My core dampened as I ground against his erection. As if knowing what I wanted, Jackson found the hem of my jumper, pulling it up and only breaking the kiss to lift it over my head.
As soon as I was free of the garment, his mouth was back on mine again. My fingers flew to his shirt, making quick work to unbutton it. When the final one came free, I ripped the shirt open, my hands running over his smooth, muscular pecs.
Jackson pulled away to rest his forehead against mine. “Need to fuck you, Kiki,” he growled, his eyes blazing with lust.
I lowered my hand to his now rigid cock, stroking his shaft through the material. “I want you to, Jackson,” I panted, my core clenching in desperation. “I want you to fuck me.”
Without another word, the two of us moved in unison. I lifted my body, hoisting my skirt up so I could slide my panties to one side. At the same time, Jackson unbuttoned his pants and pulled his cock out.
He forced me down, impaling me on his length, hissing through his teeth as I released a salacious groan, my pussy clenching around him.
“Fuck. Your cunt feels so fucking good,” he moaned, lifting me up only to slam me down again. “Ride me, Kiki. Take what you need.”
His fingers dug harder into my hips as I began to bounce on his lap, throwing my head back as pleasure zapped every nerve in my body. Too consumed with chasing a building orgasm, I didn’t register Jackson’s hands leaving my hips until he unclasped my bra, freeing my breasts.
He wrapped his mouth around one of the erect buds, flicking his tongue against it, and sending a bolt of lightning straight to my pussy.
“Oh fuck!” I panted, moving my hips faster.
“You like that, my beautiful slut?” Jackson crooned, moving over to the breast where he took my nipple between his teeth and tugged.
“Yes, fuck, Jackson, yes!”
A growl rumbled deep in Jackson’s chest as he bit down again, harder this time. An intense pang of pain shot through me, and without looking, I knew he’d drawn blood.
And the knowledge of that added to my building orgasm.
“You have no fucking idea how gorgeous you are like this, Kiki. Taking my cock and letting me make you bleed,” he hissed, alternating between nipples and biting harder to draw more blood. “You gonna come for me? You gonna scream my name when your cunt coats my cock with your juices?”
He moved a hand between my legs, finding my clit and pinching it. With the burn of my nipples and the pressure in my core, my climax crashed into me out of nowhere, and just like he wanted, I screamed his name.
My entire body tensed as wave after wave of pleasure pulsed through me. Before I had time to recover, Jackson flipped me onto my back, driving his cock deep inside me, his gorgeous blue eyes penetrating me as he stared deep into my soul.
Tears welled in my eyes as a myriad of emotions consumed me, one feeling more apparent than any of the others: what I felt for Jackson. A feeling that had never fully gone away despite the years that had passed.
Brushing a stray tear away from my cheek with his thumb, Jackson thrust a few more times before his warm come spilled inside of me.
When he had emptied himself of every drop, he didn’t move.
He hovered above me, staring with his brows furrowed, almost as if he was internally questioning how he’d gone from claiming to hate me to… whatever this was.
Whatever this was, I didn’t want it to end.
I woke the following morning to find I’d fallen asleep on the couch. Much like the time I woke at the cottage, Jackson was nowhere to be seen. The only reason I knew I hadn’t dreamed what happened last night was because of the ache in my nipples and the slickness between my thighs.