Chapter 21 #2
For a tense second, I didn’t think he would reply. Until he slammed his mouth against mine, his hand freeing my throat so he could cup the back of my head, and hold me still as he devoured my mouth.
The ache between my legs intensified as our tongues roughly caressed each other and our teeth clashed from the frenzied kiss. When he broke the kiss, our chests heaved together as we attempted to regain our breath.
Jackson rested his forehead against mine. “I need to fuck you, Kiki. I can’t fucking bear not being inside you.”
I brushed my lips against his in a chaste kiss before moving back a fraction so I could see his reaction when I told him what I wanted.
“I want you to fuck my ass, Jackson.” His eyes widened before he visibly swallowed.
I found his hand and laced my fingers through his.
“I want to give that part of myself to you.”
His mouth was on mine again before I had time to process it. Dropping my hand, he grabbed my ass and hoisted me into his arms. I wrapped my legs around his waist, my hands resting on his shoulders, feeling his strong muscles underneath his shirt.
“Have you got any lube?”
“Upstairs,” I replied, knowing Alec kept some in his bedside drawer.
Jackson refused to put me down, carrying me upstairs and to the bedroom I shared with Alec. Lowering me to the bed, he hovered over me. “Where?”
“Bedside drawer.”
I nodded to Alec’s side, and Jackson reached across to pull the lube out. His brows lifted as he returned his gaze to me. “He use this on you?”
The jealousy lacing his tone was evident. I pulled myself into a sitting position to cup his cheek. “No. Never.”
Relief filled his eyes, and in that moment, I made a decision. I didn’t know what the future held for Jackson and me, but I couldn’t carry on with Alec. I couldn’t put myself through it anymore, not when his touch was like a flame scarring my skin.
Now that my father was dead, he couldn't stop me from asking James for help. I hated the idea of asking my brother for handouts, but he loved Billie; he’d do anything for her. And it would mean I would be free of Alec and his temper.
Jackson grabbed my chin, tipping my head back so I had to look at him. “Where did you go, Kiki? I lost you for a second.”
I smiled affectionately at him. “Imagining what it’s going to feel like when you claim my ass,” I replied, not wanting to tell him I’d decided to end things with Alec. I wasn’t sure if his head was in the same place as mine.
A devious glint flickered in his eyes. “How about we find out?”
He pressed his mouth to mine, this time in a soft, delicate kiss. Throwing the bottle of lube onto the bed covers, his hands found the hem of my pajama top, and he lifted it over my head, exposing my bare breasts.
Gently pushing me onto my back, he positioned himself over me before kissing his way down my body, taking his time to toy with my nipples until they were rigid. His tongue licked a path down to my belly button, but he didn’t stop there.
Moving between my legs, Jackson’s fingers tugged the waistband on my shorts, and I lifted my hips so he could slide them down my legs.
“No fair. I’m naked, and you’re still fully clothed,” I pouted, causing his gaze to snap up from where he’d been staring at my exposed pussy.
“Can’t have that, can we?”
He made light work of removing every item of clothing before coming to kneel between my legs, his cock standing long and proud. My stomach clenched in nervous anticipation. He was going to rip my ass apart.
As if sensing where my mind had gone, Jackson wrapped a hand around his shaft and gave it a slow tug. “Don’t worry, Kiki. I’ll go slow. But I will be claiming your ass tonight.”
Lowering himself, he buried his face between my legs, his tongue licking up my slit. I propped myself up to watch him, taking in the enormous Legion tattoo that covered his shoulders and back.
My back arched involuntarily, my teeth sinking into my bottom lip at how damn good his mouth felt.
“Fuck, Kiki. I tried to stay away from you,” Jackson growled between licks.
“I tried to stay away, but I can’t.” Another lick, followed by his fingers ramming into my entrance.
“I’m so addicted to this delicious cunt.
” He paused to look up at me, and for a second, my heart stopped beating.
“I can’t stay away because I’m so fucking addicted to you. ”
My heart kicked in full force, beating hard as if it was going to burst right out of my chest. A long-forgotten feeling burst to the surface, the feeling I held for Jackson all those years ago.
Holding back tears, I reached down to stroke his cheek, his lips glistening from where he’d been eating my pussy. “Then don’t. Don’t stay away.”
He launched himself up the bed, pinning me down with his weight. “Leave him, Kiki. Let me take care of you and Billie. You deserve better than Alec.”
Unable to keep the tears at bay as warmth flowed through me, Jackson brushed them away, staring down at me as he waited for an answer. “I will,” I replied, my bottom lip quivering. “I’ll leave Alec. You’re the only one I want, Jackson. It was always you.”
I wrapped my arms around the back of his neck as he claimed my mouth again, never wanting to let him go. For the first time in ten years, the barbed wire that had wrapped itself around my heart had fallen away, and I could finally breathe easy.
Jackson broke the kiss, pushing up to grab the lube. “I need to be inside you now, Kiki.”
I nodded my head, needing him too. A knot of anxiety tightened in my belly as I watched Jackson pour the lube into his hand and coat his cock with it. Repositioning himself between my legs again, he pushed my knees apart.
Pouring more lube over his fingers, his brows furrowed as he concentrated on spreading my ass cheeks. A small gasp left me when his cold fingers ran the length of my crack before he pressed against my tight hole.
“This okay?” he asked, meeting my gaze.
“Uh-huh.”
A smirk pulled his lips up one side as he pressed his finger in deeper, and my fingernails dug into the bedsheets. Soft moans escaped my mouth as Jackson began moving his finger in and out, spreading the lube in my tight hole before he inserted a second one.
Pain seared me, growing worse when Jackson scissored his fingers inside me, but I didn’t want him to stop. I wanted him to have this. He continued to move his fingers, his gaze occasionally flicking up to mine, checking that I wanted him to carry on.
“Jackson, please,” I moaned. “I can’t wait any longer. I need you.”
“My beautiful girl needs my cock, huh?” He thrust both fingers in and out several times before pulling them free. Grabbing my thighs, he positioned himself so that my legs wrapped around his waist, and his cock pressed against my back hole. “You ready, Kiki?”
I bobbed my head, excitement tinged with panic racing through me. He pressed his hips forward, forcing the tip of his cock into me. My body tensed as burning pain slivered along the length of my spine.
“Relax, baby,” Jackson cooed. “Let me in.”
I panted, squeezing my eyes closed and willing my body to unclench. Inhaling deep breaths, Jackson waited patiently until I nodded, giving him the go-ahead to push forward.
Inch by inch, he pushed through tight muscle. My jaw ached from how hard I was clenching, and more than once, I almost screamed at him to stop.
“Fuck, Kiki,” Jackson hissed through his teeth. “I’m all the way in.”
He lowered himself down before placing light kisses along my jawline. I peeled my eyes open. The lower half of my body was on fire, and all I could focus on was how full it felt to have him in that hole.
“I…I think you can move,” I whispered, hoping I could manage the pain.
Holding himself up with strong arms, he slid his cock free before pressing back in. I released a moan, the pain still burning through me, but as he repeated his movements several times, my body began to relax.
Thrusting slowly, pleasure mixed with the pain. I didn’t think I would be able to come like this, but it didn’t matter. The feeling of Jackson being inside me, where no one else had been before, filled me with a euphoria I never thought I’d experience.
“Kiki, I can’t hold on much longer,” Jackson rumbled, reaching up to cup my head.
“Don’t then. Don’t hold on any longer.”
As if he’d been waiting for permission, he thrust inside once more, groaning as warm liquid filled my ass. His body jerked, releasing every drop he’d been holding on to, before his arms collapsed and he fell on top of me.
I held him closer, his head nuzzling into the crook of my neck as his heart pounded against mine. I closed my eyes as another tear of happiness slid down my cheek.
I cleaned myself up in the ensuite while Jackson changed the bedding. For what seemed like hours, we lay on the bed, wrapped in each other’s arms, not speaking, but just enjoying the comfort the other had to offer.
It had been a whirlwind of a day, and my emotions were scattered. Still, I couldn’t help the smile plastered to my face. Jackson wanted to be with me. He wanted to take care of Billie.
We were going to be together.
A sliver of doubt worked its way through me, though. What if he’d only said it in the heat of the moment? Before I could stop myself, I bolted upright. “Did you mean what you said? That you wanted to take care of Billie and me.”
A frown creased his brow, and his eyes lowered to his lap. That was all I needed to see to know his answer. A lump formed in my throat, making it hard to swallow.
“I want to,” Jackson finally said, his gaze lifting to meet mine, sorrow shining in his eyes.
“But?”
He sighed. “I don’t know if I can trust you.”
My shoulders slumped. It was always going to come back to this.
But I wasn’t willing to give up that easily.
I’d gone without Jackson for too long, and I didn’t want to go another day without him.
“Jackson. I’ll never do anything to hurt you.
It might take time, but I will prove that you can trust me. ”
A sad smile pulled across his mouth. “You said once before that you’d never do anything to hurt me.”
My eyes squeezed closed as the barbed wire I thought was gone began wrapping around my heart again, tightening with each breath I took. “Jacks-”
“Tell me, Kiki,” Jackson said, grabbing my hands, his tone laced with desperation. “I need the closure. I don’t know why, but it’s the one thing I need to know for me to move on from this. Please. Tell me who it was that you slept with.”
A tear rolled down my cheek, but my mouth remained closed.
A heavy atmosphere descended around us, and I didn’t dare to peek at him. After what seemed like an eternity, he stood from the bed and began putting his clothes back on. “I’ve got to go. I’ve got things to do.”
Before I knew it, I was across the room, standing in front of him, butt naked. “Don’t go, Jackson. Please. Can we talk?”
He paused, and when he stroked a hand down my cheek, I stupidly allowed hope to bloom in my chest. “Unless you give me a name and tell me why you threw our future away, then I have nothing to say to you.”
He hadn’t even finished dressing before he stormed out of the bedroom, and a few seconds later, the slamming of the back door told me he’d left.
My legs buckled as I collapsed to the floor. More tears fell, no longer tears of happiness.