20. Nyx
Chapter 20
Nyx
Princess coos, giving me a sheepish little grin around the fingers stuck between her drooling lips.
“Did you miss me?” I whisper, dipping my head to kiss her forehead as I pick her up from her crib.
Her nanny slips out the room, giving me and Savage some privacy in the small space. I suppose it’s the safest place for Princess now, but it seems sad that she’s cooped up in this depressing little room all day, with only one measly safari-themed mobile above her crib to keep her company.
But her cheeks are rosy, her eyes are bright, and judging from the amount of spit coming out of her mouth, someone’s keeping her hydrated. Where would she be if I’d left her in that restaurant, cradled in shattered glass? Her only mobile the torn, blood-stained faces of her parents?
Savage lurks behind us, stalking from one side of the small room to the other like a caged tiger.
Baby girl blows a spit bubble, and I wipe it off with her little bib, swapping her chubby hand for the pacifier clipped to her coral-pink onesie.
“Who’s the prettiest little girl in all the cartel?” I ask her sweetly, tracing the outline of her perfect little ear with my finger.
Princess spits out her pacifier and replaces it with her foot.
“Isn’t she adorable?” I glance over at Savage, and he pauses to stare at the baby swaddled in my arms.
He huffs, watching Princess as she tries to chew off her own toe. “Should you really be encouraging her to eat human flesh? She’ll get sent to the electric chair if she tries that shit when she’s older.”
I roll my eyes, cooing down to the little girl, “Don’t listen to him. He’s grumpy because I have to murder his demonic uncle.”
“Nyx,” he growls in warning.
“And he’s extra pissy because I gave him blue balls.”
“Jesus, woman.”
I swap out her toes for the pacifier again, wipe away more spit, and start swaying her gently from side to side.
“Here, take her.”
He glances over again, shakes his head. “She’s sleeping.”
“Don’t be scared. Even if she wanted to bite you, she doesn’t have any teeth. A good gumming never hurt anyone.”
Despite my reassurances, he takes Princess from me like I’m handing him a nuke. I guess there is a chance she might projectile vomit banana sludge on him again.
My eyes are glued to him as he cradles the sleeping infant in his arm.
“Don’t just stand there, sway a little.”
“I’ll wake her,” he whispers.
“She’ll be fine. It’s soothing.”
His eyes jump to me. “You planning on racing out of here to plant a dagger into someone while I hold the baby?”
I mean…it’s not a bad idea. But he’d probably toss Princess onto the bed like a football and come after me.
Shaking my head, I tuck in a stray corner of the blanket swaddling Princess.
“He’s not even here, you said so yourself.”
“You could be lying.”
When I look up, Savage’s eyes are on me. “What?”
“You could just be saying that O’Brien wants Sergio dead so I’d let my guard down when you’re around my father. Or me.”
“You think I’d lie to you about this?”
“It’s obvious there’s something you’re not telling me. How am I supposed to trust you? You’ve lied to me before.”
I can’t bear to keep looking at his pitch black eyes, or his tight mouth. I drop my gaze to Princess, who doesn’t have the same problem. Something has her spellbound. She stares up at him with wide, unblinking eyes. Maybe it’s his deep, gravelly voice, or the way he’s absently rocking her with one arm, her head safely captured in the palm of his wide, strong hand.
“I’m sorry,” I grate out reluctantly. “About running away and stuff. It’s hard, you know. Someone telling you to rely on them, when I’ve had to do it all by myself for years.”
He steps closer, the only distance between us is the little bundle of Princess. Then he takes my chin in his fingers, forcing me to look up at him.
“Get used to it. I’m not going anywhere, Nyx. Doesn’t matter what deal you’ve worked out with O’Brien, we’ll figure this out.” The weight of the love I see in his eyes, makes me feel ten times heavier than before.
Fuck, I don’t deserve this man, and he sure as hell doesn’t deserve me.
He could’ve promised that my sisters will be safe, but we both know that’s out of his hands.
He could have interrogated me about the meeting with O’Brien. I might even have broken down and confessed everything.
But If he knew what really happened in that warehouse, half the country would be locked down in preparation for world war three.
I saw his face when I undressed, when he saw the marks on my body.
But I asked him to trust me. And Savage being Savage…he will.
Which makes me a piece of shit.
I don’t deserve him.
And he sure as hell deserves someone better than me.