5. Haley
5
HALEY
I came downstairs and found Aunt Cindy grimacing at the TV.
“One.”
I plopped onto the couch next to her and smiled, seeing what show she had on. The host of the show described the three options of properties, and despite just walking into the room, I argued and said, “No, three.”
She smirked, hugging a pillow. “Not enough room for the diva. You should’ve listened to her. She claims she wants something cozy and full of character but ooh ed and ahh ed over the huge minimalistic place.”
It almost seemed funny to come down here and watch House Hunters right after listening to my sister talk about my move to the city. But I wouldn’t be picky. I didn’t have any must haves like the woman on this show. I wanted a safe place with running water and a bed. Simple as that.
“Aha!” Aunt Cindy pointed at the screen when the woman chose the first option. She turned the volume down and rubbed her brow. “What brings you down here? No homework?”
I shook my head. My aunt stepped in as my guardian when my mom abandoned me and Natasha. We were only ten when our mother took off to be with her “soulmate”. My dad was already long gone by then, living with a woman in another country. According to the sporadic calls from my mom—which stopped six years ago—she was looking for a purpose in her life. Aunt Cindy claimed her sister’s purpose was to sample as many men as she could meet. I didn’t bother making a guess. She’d left, and that was the fact that mattered.
Aunt Cindy had always been here for me, giving me a place to stay and putting up with two teenage nieces, but she’d never harped on me about homework or chores. She knew I worked hard at school, and in the spare time I had in the summer, I worked overtime at the county fair for extra cash.
“No. Just… antsy.” I hugged a pillow to my chest, mimicking her pose.
“I heard you talking to Nat when I walked past your door,” she commented.
I nodded. “I wanted to check in with her.”
“How’s Grayson doing with that lisp?” she asked, indicating that she didn’t hear me greeting him.
“Better.”
She sighed, then smiled. “It’ll take time. I sure wish she’d come visit.”
I snorted. “Come back to Marsten? Yeah, right.”
“I know. I know.” She sighed again, this one heavier than the last. “I can’t blame her for staying away. I’ll never forget the day Theresa West said her baby would be a bastard idiot.” She narrowed her eyes at the TV, still holding on to a grudge with Preston’s mother over what she said when Nat announced that she was pregnant.
“And I’ll never forget the day my badass aunt told the town’s resident prima donna to?—”
“Oh…” Aunt Cindy laughed, swatting at me. “Hush. I’m not proud of that.”
I laughed too, trying to recall every colorful curse my aunt had slung at that woman in defense of my sister.
“I’ve never blamed Nat for raising him somewhere else. This town has never been kind to us. But I sure wish I could see him more often.”
I patted her hand, wishing I could ease her suffering. Before her fibromyalgia got so bad that she couldn’t work, Aunt Cindy had loved her job at the daycare center. She had always enjoyed being around little kids, and she was right. Little Grayson was growing up so fast, we missed out on being there when he was small.
I wish she could leave with me after graduation. This house was hers, though, and if she moved, she’d need to pay rent.
“Is your head bothering you again?” I asked when she rubbed her brow.
“One of those damn migraines,” she complained. “I’m fifty! How can I still be getting PMS?”
I laughed, shaking my head. “Only you would want menopause to hit.”
“Oh…” She wagged her finger at me as I got up. “Just you wait. Just you wait, Haley. You go through a lifetime of periods and PMS and you’ll beg for it to be over when you’re my age too.”
“How about I go get you some of that ice cream you like?” I offered, going to get my coat hanging on the coat tree.
“Now?” She frowned, looking at the time.
I shrugged. “Yeah. I don’t have homework.”
“But you do have classes tomorrow morning.”
I shrugged again. “Not that early. Besides, I’m bored.”
“I thought you said you were antsy.”
“Isn’t that the same thing?”
She reached for the minivan keys on the coffee table, but I held my hand up. “Nah. I’ll walk.”
“In this weather?”
I smiled. “Sure. I think a walk would do me good.”
“If you’re positive…”
“It’s nothing.” I shot her a smile, truly appreciating that she was here for me, even if she could often nag and be a grump.
“Well, thanks, then, Haley. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you’re not a sweetheart.”
I set out to get her “secret” cure. There was no science that caramel truffle Moose Tracks ice cream would help a headache, but she swore by it. If it was a case of “mind over matter”, then who was I to argue her logic?
Walking from the house, I peered at the still nighttime scenery, glad for the snow. It wasn’t actively snowing, which would’ve made for a messier route, but the utter quiet of the earth insulated by inches of snow and ice made me feel like it was just me.
One speck on this planet.
One dot in the universe.
Those big-picture ideas intimidated some people, but when I was morose and reflective, like I was tonight, it helped to put my existence into perspective. When it came down to it, we were all just people. All of us humans. All here the same, in the beginning of the end. Clinging to that fact gave me a boost of confidence when I had to remember that no bully was ever “better” than me.
Closer to town, I spotted some classmates standing around the twenty-four-hour diner that made the specialty ice cream my aunt enjoyed. Three girls and two guys loitered on the steps in front of the diner, and I mentally prepared myself to keep my head down. To avoid them. Just walk in and out and not acknowledge them at all.
As I climbed the steps, they of course took the bait to pounce.
“Oh, look. There goes the whore’s daughter,” one said.
“No wonder she’s still in town. Of all the Feldstones, she’s too ugly to fuck anyone around here.”
“I don’t know. Put a bag over her head and I’d bang that.” The guy who said that cupped his junk and cracked up.
Fuck you.
My slight good mood from seeing my nephew and talking to my sister completely evaporated. The comfort of being in my aunt’s company faded. Even the reflective peace I’d felt as I admired the stillness of the night on my walk was gone.
All I felt was the same anger and loathing from this treatment that I didn’t deserve.
I fisted my hands in my pockets until I felt the sting of my nails on my skin. The bite of pain soothed me, grounded me, and I exhaled through my nose, still ignoring them as they taunted me all the way until I opened the door and went into the diner.
Inside, I asked for a carton of the ice cream, then waited for it and paid. All the while, I refused to pay those jerks any attention. They weren’t worth it. They really weren’t.
As I exited, though, they carried on, cat-calling, laughing, and teasing.
Still fisting one hand, digging my nail into my skin, I walked past them.
They’re not worth it.
There’s no point in fighting back.
In one ear and out the other.
Walking home, I breathed easier with the more distance I put between myself and the group of jerks. And as I considered how much I didn’t care to stand up for myself against them, I recalled how I wanted to with Eli earlier.
When we sat outside Professor Blume’s office, I caved to the addiction of talking back to him, even if just a little. He seemed to love to get a rise out of me, the twisted ass that he was, and it was oddly thrilling to give him a taste of his own medicine.
I could care to argue and fight back with him, whenever or however I could.
But I won’t have to deal with him at all anymore.
I swung the bag with the ice cream as I walked, letting my heart lift with that promise.
Very soon, I’d never have to deal with them.
Never again…
I furrowed my brow as I let that notion sink in.
At the idea of never seeing Eli again…
I laughed once, wryly, at the realization that I almost seemed to have mixed feelings about that.
Eli Young had always been in the background in my life. As a childhood friend, then a high school bully.
“That’s all he’d ever be.”
Because the idea of actually missing him was too insane to consider.
There wasn’t a chance in hell of his changing his opinions about me, not this close to when I’d be able to get out of town forever.