28. The Crossroads of Desire
Chapter twenty-eight
The Crossroads of Desire
Lei
What is she going to say?
“Lei. . .” Moni’s voice trailed off.
I could see her hesitating, weighing her words.
And in that pause, my heart teetered on the edge of insanity.
My pulse hammered in my ears.
The intensity of my feelings for her, feelings I had just begun to understand and articulate, felt like a force unto themselves, a current too strong to resist.
I was standing at the crossroads of vulnerability and obsession and I knew I had to tread carefully.
Whatever she says. . .don't go too far. Stay calm. Give her time.
I watched as she took a deep breath, her lips parting as if to speak.
Then to my surprise, she reached her hand across the table and held mine.
And in her warm touch, I found a semblance of peace.
Yet, Moni gazed at her soup.
Is she nervous? Or does she know that I won't like her answer?
“Lei.” She lowered her voice to a whisper. “I want you to love me just as much as I love you .”
Her words were a balm, yet they also fanned the flames of my desire.
I yearned to pull her close, to bridge the gap between us with a kiss that would seal our mutual confession.
But I held back.
The tension in the air was palpable, a dance of emotions that both connected and cautioned us.
I could feel the obsessive part of me, lurking just beneath the surface, craving to claim her even more, to make her mine in every conceivable way possible.
But I battled it down for now. . . reminding myself that. . .maybe love, true love, was about respect, about giving as much as taking.
“Moni.” I turned my hand up to hold hers and intertwined our fingers. “I think loving you will be the easiest task of this year.”
Her eyes met mine surely the fire in them matched the passion throbbing deep within me.
As we sat there, hands lightly touching, the candlelight flickering around us, a silent vow formed in my heart.
This is going to happen.
Excitement rushed through me.
I could feel the electricity in the air, a current that connected us on a level deeper than words could convey.
The intensity of our connection was intoxicating, like a fine wine swirling in our veins, igniting a fire that threatened to consume us both.
In that moment, I saw everything and nothing at once.
Her hand trembled in mine.
We had bared our souls, exposing the raw edges of our desires, and now the moment hung suspended in time.
I leaned closer to her. “I want nothing more than to love you with every fiber of my being.”
Her breath hitched.
“I know this is fast and my father put it together and. . .I even had you in handcuffs at one point. . .”
She grinned.
“But I can't deny any more what's going on in my heart.”
She let out a long breath. “I've never felt this way before, Lei. It scares me, but it also excites me.”
“That's how I feel.”
“Good. Then, I'm not by myself.”
“Not at all.”
The candlelight flickered, and the food was forgotten.
“Then, it's settled.” I shrugged. “We will get married tomorrow.”
She took her hand from me. “What?!”
“I'm just joking.” I laughed.
She scowled. “That's not funny. You looked absolutely serious.”
“Probably, because. . .I would marry you tomorrow if I could.”
“I can't with you right now.”
“I would but I wouldn't want to make you a widow after a few days.”
She blinked. “Don't say that.”
“It's a small possibility, Moni. I just wanted to make that clear.”
She put her hand back on mine. “You will win against your father. He wants you to win.”
“But he won't make it easier either. I should be training, but I can't. . .I just want to be with you.”
“That's your advantage over him.”
I raised my brows. “What do you mean?”
“Your father is ready to die, while you are ready to live, ready to love, ready to even. . .start a family.” She touched her chest. “I'm not a fighter but that has to hit different on the battlefield.”
I smiled. “It would.”
The next server came in, pushing a cart to our table. A platter with a large duck lay on top. Its skin was roasted to a perfect, glossy crispness.
Moni took her hand back and I immediately missed it.
Soon, the server began to carve it in front of us and place the duck on our plates. Succulent slices of meat glistened under the soft candlelight.
Another server entered with plates covered with thin, delicate pancakes. Next to them was a dab of hoisin sauce, and finely sliced scallions and cucumber.
Once they left, I picked up a pancake. “Follow me. It’s best this way.”
“Okay.” She mirrored my actions.
I wrapped the tender duck in a pancake, topped it with the scallions and cucumbers, and right before eating I dipped it in the sauce. “This is one of my favorites.”
We both took a bite at the same time.
She groaned in pleasure.
I almost did too.
The combination of the crispy skin, the flavorful meat, and the sweet hoisin sauce, complemented by the fresh crunch of scallion and cucumber, created a delightful harmony in my mouth.
She swallowed. “This is now my favorite too.”
“Good. I’ll make sure you have this every week.”
She chuckled. “You’re going to send your palace servers to Lotus Blossom and have them carve it at my table?”
”Or. . .” I shrugged and took a bite.
She paused from eating. “Or what?”
“Or you'll be living here.”
“That um. . .” She shook her head. “Lei, that's moving too fast.”
“Is it?”
“Yes. Let's get the battle done and bury our fathers. And by the way, when my sisters are with me, I'm different. I’m in mommy mode.”
“I don’t care.”
“Yeah but it's not as sexy and adventurous as Moni has no responsibilities mode.”
“I can't wait to see you in action.”
She blushed and returned to eating.
I took a bite and then placed my food on the plate. “So, Duck gave you The Essence of the Cloud Dragon ?”
She coughed a little and then grabbed some water.
I smirked.
After a few seconds, she put the glass down.
I studied her. “Did he?”
“I can't confirm or deny that.”
“You're not in court.”
“But I'm still in front of the Mountain Master.”
“In this moment, I'm just Lei—”
“And Lei is still crazy as hell.”
“This is true.” I watched her. “But did he?”
“No one handed me the book. I found it under my pillow.”
Very clever, Duck.
“And did you enjoy the book, Moni?”
“I read it all and was completely captivated.”
“Good.”
“Good?”
“Hu had a point earlier today. Your becoming the Mountain Mistress would be a rocky journey. I think knowing about our history could help.”
Terror filled her eyes. “Let's. . .talk about something else for now.”
You can run from the title but there's no hiding.
Still, I slowly nodded. “Okay. New topic.”
“Yes.” She picked up her chopsticks and started eating small pieces of meat.
“But this still deals with my cousin.” I tilted my head to the side. “Did he give you back your panties?”
A slice of meat fell from her chopsticks. She chuckled. “What is wrong with you?”
“Since we’ve gone over a lot of difficult topics, I figured we should end the rest.”
“But Duck having my panties?” Smirking, she held her hands out. “We're on a romantic date.”
“Did he give them back?”
“He tried to.” She picked the meat back up with her chopsticks. “But. . .”
“But?”
“I told him to keep them.”
I didn't mean to but I rose in my seat and towered over her. “What?”
Startled, she looked up at me, holding the meat in mid-air. “Sit. Please.”
Fuck. Calm down, before you scare her.
Clearing my throat, I lowered. “What do you mean you told him to keep them?”
“Lei, when he told me that he had the panties we were at the feast for your sister and you were gone and everyone was watching my every move.”
“O-kay.”
“So. . .as you can see it wasn't the best moment for him to just place panties in my hand.” She ate the duck.
“That moment was fine.”
Chewing, she shook her head. “No way. There's already Meatball Gate.”
“I don't give a fuck about Meatball Gate and what anyone else thinks—”
“But you do care about the location of my panties that I didn't even know were missing?”
“Yes.”
“Well stop caring. I told Duck that there was no chance of anything happening between us.”
“Still, he has your panties.”
“You better drop it or I'm going to stab you with one of these chopsticks.” She grabbed more duck and rolled her eyes.
I smirked, finding that little threat adorable. “I'll drop it but he has to give you the panties back—”
“Lei, I don't want them back. You think I'm going to wear them now?”
“It's not about wearing them. It's the symbolism—”
“Get over it.” She pointed at me. “Or you get them.”
“Hmmm.”
“I have more important things to think about like the fact that you said I can take your virginity.”
My body hummed with desire. “That is more important.”
“Do you know when you want this momentous event to happen?”
“Yes.”
“When?”
I grinned. “After we're done eating.”
She widened her eyes. “Today.”
“Fuck yes.”
Another server entered with the final course, sweet red bean buns.
As the server placed the plate of sweet red bean buns on the table, Moni and I exchanged a mischievous glance.
The anticipation of what was to come hung in the air between us.
When he left, she whispered. “I can't believe we're actually doing this.”
“I put some things in place to make sure it was special for the both of us.”
“What things?”
“You'll see.”
With that promise hanging in the air, we turned our attention to the plate of sweet red bean buns. They were soft and fluffy, filled with a luscious red bean paste that oozed out temptingly as we bit into them.
The flavors danced on my tongue, a delicate sweetness that perfectly capped off our romantic meal.
But the best part was watching Moni's expressions of delight and surprise at the buns.
It filled me with a great sense of satisfaction.
In fact, I loved her reactions all day.
To share such integral parts of my culture with her, and to see her embrace it with such openness and appreciation, deepened the connection I felt towards her.
As we savored the last bites of the sweet red bean buns—the rich flavors lingering on our tongues—a comfortable silence settled between us.
The final course marked the end of our meal, but it was clear that it was just the beginning of something far more significant.
I watched Moni’s face, illuminated by the candlelight.
Her eyes reflected excitement.
It was a look that mirrored my own feelings.
“Moni,” I licked my lips. “Are you ready to leave?”
“I'm ready.” A smile played on her lips. “Where are we going now?”
I stood up. “Somewhere more private.”
“Hmmm.” She rose.
Finally.