Chapter 10 – ANNA
10
ANNA
K issing Carter Cole, time stopped existing. The world outside of this patch of sand melted away.
The sweet, eager kisses from my memories melded with the expert, relentless way he kissed now. Every shift of his lips and flick of his tongue lit me on fire. Burning away the memories of any man who touched me in his absence. Carter was everywhere. And I was powerless to escape him.
He kissed me greedily, like he was touch-starved and had been waiting for this moment just as long as I had. It was a beautiful, dangerous lie, but one I wanted so badly to believe.
One of his hands tangled in my hair, tugging at the pins holding my updo in place. The other hand grabbed me by the waist and pulled me hard against him, making me arch into the hollows between our bodies until I was reminded of how fucking perfectly we fit together.
My nipples peaked, rubbing deliciously against his hard chest. Fuck, those shirtless pictures didn’t do the reality justice. He felt as strong and solid as the earth itself.
His teeth skimmed my bottom lip and I moaned, unconsciously encouraging him as he bit the soft flesh until I gasped and his grip on me tightened tenfold.
I ran my hands up his arms, feeling the divots of the muscles under the fabric of his shirt. My fingers mapped him, finding the soft parts that had hardened, the lines of his back, the softness of his hair. Every change to him felt right, like he had chiseled away until he became the truest version of himself.
No.
No.
I pulled away and met his icy blue eyes. Suddenly, I was pulled right back to my senior year. Looking into the same eyes on the same beach.
The cold reality crashed down on me and my stomach twisted.
I was kissing the man who broke my heart. Who never apologized or explained any of the cruel things he said. I’d seen the pictures, seen him move from woman to woman.
No matter how much I wanted him to be—this wasn’t the same Carter I fell in love with.
Why should I expect him to treat me any differently than he did those pretty models always on his arm?
Our bodies still worked together, but our hearts didn’t. They hadn’t since the night he tore mine from my chest and left it to dry out in the sand.
Fuck, I should have learned by now.
“We’re not doing this,” I forced out, pulling from his grasp to stumble back a step.
His eyes narrowed. “Don’t, Anna. Don’t fucking pull away right when I have you again.”
“You don’t have me.” The words tasted like lies on my tongue. “I don’t belong to you.”
Carter grabbed my face in his hands, pulling me roughly against him. “Yes, you do. You’re fucking mine .”
He forced his lips against mine again, harsh and unforgiving. Like he was marking me. Claiming me.
My fingers clawed at him, digging into his skin, but my lips parted easily for him. I kissed him back even as I fought him off.
I felt something hot on my fingers, and looked down with horror to see bright red on Carter’s neck. Somehow, I’d broken through the skin there.
I’m sorry .
The words were ghosts on my lips. But before I could release them, Carter smiled feral at me. Like he was pleased that I hurt him.
“Go on, my little siren,” he said roughly. “I can take it. And so can you.”
With that, he shoved me to the ground. The sand embraced the weight of our bodies, Carter heavy on top of me. He shoved his thigh between my legs, rubbing the hard muscle against my pussy. The friction was perfect, and I couldn’t hold back my moan.
As he pushed against me, I gasped, feeling the proof of my arousal damp in my panties and knowing any second now he would feel it, too.
I was soaked for him and I hated myself for it.
Hated him.
Wanted him even in my hatred.
I shifted my hips, rubbing myself shamelessly against him.
He used me first , the angry thought pushed through my Carter drugged thoughts.
My turn.
He pulled back, putting his weight on his arms so he could watch me grind against him. It felt so pathetic and childish, chasing my pleasure like this. But Carter’s blue eyes blazed as he watched me, meeting every roll of my hip with the rocking of his thigh against my pussy.
My entire body felt hot and needy, like molten metal was creeping through my veins. This beach had some power over us. It always had. Made us elemental, more animal than human.
Carter grabbed at the fabric covering me.
“I hate this fucking dress,” he growled.
“So do I,” I blurted on a breath before I even made the conscious decision to reply.
With a growl, Carter grabbed the fabric at my neck and ripped it roughly in two. The silk gave way under the force, splitting down the middle, each fine thread snapping against my skin until it fell to either side of me in tatters. My skin pebbled in the cool air, only my ivory lace bra and panties left to cover me from the chill.
Carter licked his lips while he looked down at me. “Fuck. Better than I remembered.”
He dragged his fingers from my neck, down over my breastbone to circle my breasts. My nipples tightened so quickly, it almost hurt. Even the lightest touch was enough to make my body desperate for him. Carter shoved down the cups of my bra, lifting my breasts up. He dragged his teeth over one tight nipple, then bit down so hard that I screamed.
I was going to let him take whatever he wanted from me. Because I knew Carter always gave in equal measure and I needed that right now. I needed a release more than my fingers could provide.
He sucked my other nipple into his mouth, lavishing it with his hot tongue as his other hand traveled low, searing a path down my belly to the top of my panties.
Fuck .
I squirmed beneath him, beside myself with need.
So ready to be his perfect little whore.
Who’s my perfect little whore? Josh’s words rang in my ears, and I fought to shove them away.
If only he could see me now. Every man who leered at me at the Butterfly Room. Every man he accused me of cheating on him with when I was just a few minutes behind schedule getting home.
And here I was, proving him right. Just letting Carter waltz back into my life and take what he wanted, without so much as an apology. Opening my legs for a man who hurt me worse than Josh ever could’ve.
I couldn’t let this happen.
“Carter,” I said weakly as he found my neck with his lips, kissing a hot path back to my mouth.
“Mmm?”
“S-stop. I can’t.”
His scent filled me. Different than I remembered but somehow still the same. Warm wood, amber, and sea salt. I wanted to bottle it and keep it for the rest of my miserable life as a trophy wife. To remind me what this felt like. What he felt like when he wasn’t taking a sledgehammer to my heart.
“Carter, please.”
He kissed the underside of my jaw, my cheek. I turned away from him before he could reach my lips and felt him stiffen. Pull back.
“Why can’t you?” His voice sounded rough, like he had tapped into some animal side, barely human enough to speak.
My lips parted, but I had no argument for him. Suddenly every reason seemed flimsy. His body over mine just felt so right .
And I knew I was weak. Too weak to say no because I’d imagined this moment a thousand times and…
“If you want me to stop, tell me,” he said in a husky whisper, sounding almost pained.
I had no words.
I didn’t want him to stop.
He lowered his face closer to mine, until our breaths mingled, until our lips just barely brushed. The anticipation made my body tense and shudder. My heart ached and hummed wildly as he hovered there, waiting.
“Last chance,” he spoke against my mouth.
I drew in a stuttered breath, but no refusal passed my lips. He swallowed my exhale with a swift, hard kiss and shoved my panties down my thighs, drawing a broken whine from my chest.
He dragged his fingers along my slit, groaning into my mouth as he felt how wet I was.
“So goddamn soaked for me. Your body knows what you really want, Anna.”
Carter pressed just the tips of two fingers inside me. It was barely enough to stretch me, but my entire body heated at the intrusion.
I moved my hips for him, trying to pull him in deeper.
“That’s right,” Carter said roughly. “Show me how much you want this. Fuck yourself on my hand, Anna. Take what you want. Use me. Use me up until there’s nothing left.”
So I did. My shame drifted away as I rolled my hips against his fingers. All too soon, I’d stretched too much and I needed more. I whimpered, and like he could read my mind, Carter added another finger. The pressure hurt, but my inner walls gripped his digits tightly, like my body couldn’t bear for him to leave.
“Look at you,” Carter whispered. “You look so fucking perfect stretched around my fingers.”
I looked down too, the image of his fingers disappearing into my slick lips bringing me even closer to the edge. The friction just felt too goddamn good. I clenched around him and electricity gathered in my core. He pressed the heel of his palm against the apex of my pussy, encouraging me to grind against it.
I choked on a cry and squeezed my eyes shut right before I came.
Except Carter pulled his fingers away.
I gasped and he just shook his head.
“I’ll let you come, little siren,” he murmured. “All you have to do is tell me who hurt you.”
My body stiffened, humiliation crashing over me. I couldn’t tell him that it was Josh, my ex, who’d left those bruises. A man I’d been stupid enough to trust.
“Nobody,” I said. “Nobody hurt me.”
Carter shook his head. “You’re lying. That’s too bad.”
Then he crushed his lips to mine, kissing me so fiercely that any thought of Josh vanished. It was just Carter, his presence overwhelming me. His hands were everywhere, his lips dragging along the line of my neck. He moved down my body, suckling at the line of my collarbone while I trembled under him.
His tongue moved along the edge of each breast, then he kissed around each nipple. My heart thudded so hard, he must be able to feel it against his lips. But even though my nipples were diamond hard, he wouldn’t touch them, neglecting the place I wanted his mouth most.
“Carter,” I whimpered. “Please.”
“What do you want?” he asked, the sound vibrating against my skin.
“You know.” It was all I could choke out, he’d scrambled my mind so thoroughly.
“Use your words.”
Use my words? I could barely remember my own name at this point. Pathetically, I grabbed his head and moved it to my nipples.
“Just this once,” he said with a sigh.
He closed his lips around one nipple, sucking gently. Electricity pulsed through me and I buried my fingers in his hair, pressing him closer. It just felt so goddamn good.
Whatever Carter had been doing with all those girls the past six years, it had turned him into a fucking sex god.
His mouth moved lower, pressing open-mouthed kisses along my belly until he was positioned between my thighs. With his eyes fixed on my pussy, he used his fingers to spread apart my lower lips.
“Still perfect,” he said, then dragged his tongue from my entrance to my clit. I gasped and my thighs tightened around his head.
Every stroke of Carter’s tongue had me trembling, my orgasm building in me with a pounding force. I lay balanced on a sharp edge, and I didn’t care if there was anything to catch me when I fell.
Let me break on the rocks if it’ll feel this good.
Then, right before I came, Carter pulled his mouth away. My orgasm ebbed immediately, throbbing in my clit, and I cried out in frustration.
This motherfucker.
He knew exactly how close I was. How could he read my body so well, after all this time? I pulled hard at his hair, trying to get him back where I wanted him. He just shook his head.
“Are you ready to tell me who hurt you?” he asked, cocking a brow.
“Nobody,” I repeated stubbornly.
“We both know that’s not true, Anna.”
Tears pricked at my eyes, threatening to spill. How dare he bring me back to that pain, just when I was feeling so good? He didn’t have the right. Not when he broke up with me, not when he spent years with no idea what was happening in my life.
“You haven’t earned the truth.”
I expected Carter’s face to fall. I wanted my words to hurt him, too. Instead, he just grinned wickedly.
“I will.”
He buried his face in my pussy and fucking devoured me. His nose rubbed up against my clit, his tongue burying itself in my entrance. Two fingers shoved inside me, and my inner walls squeezed desperately at them.
My entire body felt like melted gold. Dripping and bleeding into the sand beneath me, scorching anybody who dared touch me. Like I was invincible as long as Carter kept his mouth and hands on me.
The cliff of my orgasm loomed in front of me. It was even steeper, thanks to the two times Carter had brought me to the edge already. I was so fucking close, but I knew he would pull away if I didn’t give him what he wanted.
And I needed it.
I couldn’t be deprived again.
I knew I’d regret it later, but all I could think about was finally making that fall.
“It was my ex,” I breathed. “Josh. He gave me the bruises.”
Carter only stopped for a moment, gazing up at me, his eyes full of cold blue fire.
“Good girl.”
He closed his lips around my clit and sucked, reigniting my orgasm. That gentle pressure built me up so quickly, I didn’t even realize I was falling until I screamed out some unintelligible noise. I saw fireworks as I came fast and hard against his mouth.
Liquid streamed from me, but Carter never stopped lapping it up. He groaned at the taste of it, the vibration of it only extending my orgasm. I had no idea how long I spent coming. The whole world went fuzzy, the line between pleasure and painful reality obliterated.
Eventually, Carter released my clit and pulled back to kneel.
All I could do was lie there like a broken doll. I was boneless, and my muscles had completely stopped working. My chest heaved as I tried to find oxygen. It was like my orgasm had broken the way my body worked.
I barely had the strength to stay awake, let alone make it home. I could see his blurry form at the edge of my vision, pawing at the massive erection in his slacks with a knot between his brows and a tense jaw.
Falling onto his back next to me, he hauled me into his chest and the feeling was so vividly familiar—so vividly comforting, that I didn’t fight him.
His fingers played with the tips of my hair. Almost all of my elaborate updo had come undone, sand mixed in with my tangles.
I breathed in the scent of him. The fabric of his shirt was soft against my cheek. Whatever we just shared, it was nothing like the way Carter and I came together six years ago. We were both so young and inexperienced then, completely different from the broken, corrupted versions of us that existed now.
Now, when our bodies touched, our broken places pressed into each other and made us bleed. We hurt each other, and it only made us crave each other more.
And Carter took advantage of that.
I told him about Josh .
Carter manipulated me into handing over my most shameful secret. He knew exactly what buttons to press to make me open up to him. I didn’t know who I hated more just now—Carter for tricking me, or myself for giving him the chance to get close again.
I shoved away from him, forcing myself to my feet.
“Where are you going?” he asked sleepily.
“Home,” I spat.
“That’s not your home and you know it,” he called after me, the single word a well-placed blade twisting in my stomach.
I stormed back to the house, clutching the edges of my ruined dress around me and praying nobody saw.