27. Ivy
TWENTY-SEVEN
IVY
Was this what my life had become? Poking three angry bears, looking for ways to piss them off and get under their skin even as I used them for my own gains?
I was going stir-crazy, sitting around day after day as they went about their lives and carried out contracts like nothing had changed. After all, it wasn’t my idea to join their fucking boys’ club. It was theirs. Or, rather, Coyote’s.
The same bastard that currently sat across the roof from me, staring down at the sunrise like being awake at this time of day was a blessing and not a fucking curse.
I didn’t even know why I let him lead me out on this fucking roof in the first place. He just held out his hand as I stood there at the counter, sipping coffee in an attempt to stay awake for a few normal people hours again. When I simply stared at it, he motioned for me to take it and then finally reached down and took mine himself, tugging me along until we reached the roof access and emerged out into the chilly morning air.
I stood there in the pink and orange rays of the morning sunrise, shivering in my tanktop and sleep shorts, arms and legs bare to the chilly breeze as it blew past us, heading for the shoreline. The only thing keeping me somewhat warm was the mug cradled in my hands, steam rising from the surface of the caramel-colored liquid to caress my face.
I lifted it and took another sip, smiling to myself despite the situation.
It’s been so long since I enjoyed something as simple as a sunrise.
When your life is consumed by a single goal, it’s easy to lose perspective. But something about this moment, on this roof, with the sun’s first rays falling on my face, felt almost surreal. It felt important, like from here on out, my life wouldn’t be the same again.
And yet, I couldn’t grasp it, the special something that made this ripple in time different from all the rest.
It, like everything else in my life, just slipped right through my fingers and was lost to the rest of eternity, just like every other passing second in time.
I padded over to the edge of the roof, taking a seat on the ledge, my back to the side of the fire escape rails as I bent one knee for an armrest and let the other foot dangle over the edge, wagging back and forth in the wind.
Coyote, ever the stoic, silent type, stood a few feet away, his eyes squinted against the bright rays of light hitting him in the face, arms crossed as he took a deep breath and sighed, his stance never wavering. I watched the subtle flare of his nostrils as he breathed in the fresh air, the way his lashes fluttered, never quite touching his cheeks, and how his hair danced just a bit with every gust of wind. Nothing about him surprised me, and yet everything was a new discovery.
This one, by far, was the most mysterious to me. His refusal to talk to me, even when I made small talk with him until I thought I’d turn blue in the face, had me out of sorts. He casually managed to not be around me one-on-one or made himself scarce when it was unavoidable. It was like he was scared of me or something. But no, there was no way?—
Was there?
“You’re staring.”
Heat rose in my throat as I blinked rapidly, shaking my head to dispel the thoughts racing around inside my empty ass head. “Dunno what you’re talking about,” I mumbled into the mug in my hands, most of the warmth of the drink gone, stolen away by the morning chill. “Shit.”
“Cold?” he asked softly, holding a hand in my direction.
I stared into my coffee and sighed. “Yeah.” I wasn’t in a very aggressive or fighting mood as he took the cup from me and disappeared into the asylum, leaving me very much alone out here, with just my thoughts to keep me company.
Thoughts I didn’t want to be thinking .
Thoughts I couldn’t afford to think.
Thoughts that had no business being in my damn head right now, regarding any one of these men.
I turned sideways, letting both legs dangle over the edge now from the knees down. I flirted with danger on a regular basis. Still, I was five stories up, and if I fell suddenly or someone pushed me, I’d definitely, at the very least, have a terrible time of it recovering. I could quite possibly die, too.
It wasn’t even the tallest building I’d ever sat on the ledge of, though. I could handle this.
My fingers clutched the back of the ledge as I leaned my weight backward and smiled at the warmth on my face, sunlight giving me an almost ethereal glow. Once I went back inside, I’d have to be an adult. I’d have to answer a few voicemails my old boss and coworkers had left me. Have to explain to them why I wasn’t coming back. I was even half tempted to tell them the truth—after all, how often did you get the opportunity to tell people you’d met before that you were quitting your part-time bartending gig to kill people for money?
It was a once-in-a-lifetime thing, and I didn’t plan to let it fly past me in a flash.
“You’re pretty brave, up here all alone,” a strange voice echoed behind me, setting every hair on my body on edge.
I tensed immediately, slowly turning my head to catch a glimpse of the asshole who’d snuck up on me, and caught the sight of two bodies silhouetted in the sunlight where I’d expected to find one.
“She’s not alone.”
Coyote.
“Hey, my bad,” the stranger said suddenly, throwing his hands in the air as he backed away slowly. “I don’t want to interrupt.”
“Good,” Coyote growled, watching the man with the long, pale hair disappear back into the stairwell. When we were alone again, his eyes turned to me, and I realized with a start that he’d gone to heat my coffee back up for me.
I thought this guy was a crazed murderer, not a walking green flag.
My whole heart sat up and took notice, despite how much I hated the fact that it was touching.
I wouldn’t go easy on him because of some warmed-up coffee.
I wasn’t. No fucking way in hell. That thought could fuck all the way off ? —
The weight of a jacket around my shoulders brought my attention back to the present. Coyote had handed the mug back to me, and apparently, I’d taken it because it was there in the center of my hands, the warmth seeping through the ceramic and into the flesh of my palms. I was so overwhelmed I hadn’t even noticed taking it from him.
I noticed the coat he draped over my shoulders, though. It felt like a replay of the time he’d thrown one on me before he let me ride to the apartment.
Was this a territorial thing? Or something else?
“Thanks,” I muttered, turning back to the sunrise, which was now officially done rising, broken free of the horizon beyond.
“Warm enough?” he asked suddenly, his hands on either side of my shoulders, holding me in place.
I couldn’t speak. Now, neither one of us knew what to say or how to say it. How ironic. I cleared my throat and just nodded, hoping he knew I was talking to him.
“Good,” he said simply as he moved to sit down next to me. Now we both dangled over the edge, side by side, not a word between us as we appreciated this moment—or what was left of it—as one.
I subtly leaned my nose into the lining of the collar and inhaled deeply, relishing his scent in the fabric.
And flushed crimson when he leaned into my hair and sniffed me back with all the lack of shame of a literal dog. In fact, I saw his terribly-hidden smile as he closed his eyes and ducked away, pretending he wasn’t as affected as he was by the act.
What the fuck was wrong with these dogs? And why did I almost like it?
The silence was heavy but not suffocating, as it had the potential to be. Instead, it felt right. It felt almost . . . peaceful.
“I should push you off this roof right now and reduce my irritation by a third,” I said instead, without a single fleck of emotion in the words giving me away. “Could make things way easier on me, ya know.”
“You won’t,” he said simply, turning sideways to lay back on the concrete shelf, an arm thrown over his face to hide him from the sun.
“You sound pretty confident of that fact,” I grumbled, setting my coffee down close to the edge.
“I am,” he responded with a satisfied huff.
“Asshole.” My gaze returned to the bay, where I could see the sparkle of the water shining back at me like a dream as you wake up. It was there, just enough of a hint to make you believe, but you knew when you got close enough, it would lose its luster, and the sparkle would be a simple shine.
“Why don’t you talk to people?” I said after what felt like forever, my hair falling over a shoulder as I shifted to look at him when he answered.
Except I shifted a little too far and lost my balance.
Three things happened in the blink of an eye.
I knocked my coffee mug off the ledge, watching with a sort of abject horror as it disappeared from view. My whole body tensed up, fight or flight gaining a new, third brother in the mix: freeze. And just when I thought I might fall off the edge and put an end to everything before I’d even begun to start, strong hands grabbed me around the waist and yanked me back to the roof, sending me and their owner tumbling to the ground in a tangle of limbs and clothes.
More specifically, me. On top of Coyote. My hands splayed on his bare chest, the warmth rolling off of him in waves, his hair falling in his face as he stared up at me, incredulous.
For a moment, I forgot how to breathe.
Why the fuck was this man so damn attractive?
His hand reached up, snaked into the back of my hair, and tugged us closer, caressing me even as he urged us nose to nose. I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, couldn’t even blink; I was so afraid of missing something. So, I did the only thing that made sense.
I waited for him to make a move.
Of course, this would happen to be the moment when someone else stumbled upon us, ruining the moment of whatever the fuck that was, like a bucket of ice water on the head of a drunk person first thing in the morning.
And, of course, it had to be fucking Jackal.
“Jesus, Coyote, if you’re gonna make out with the enemy, at least do it in the privacy of your room, damn.”
I scrambled off him like I’d been electrocuted, lips snapping shut that I’d only seconds ago parted in anticipation of a replay of the kiss we shared in the warehouse. The tops of his ears turned a pretty shade of pink as he scrambled to his feet and abandoned me with a grunt, glaring daggers in Jackal’s direction as he shoulder-checked the other man and left me alone with the bane of my existence.
Of fucking course.
Jackal could ruin a fucking wet dream.
The man in question sauntered over to where I sat on the ledge, lamenting my lost coffee and the cute mug I’d have to replace. My funds were already dwindling, too. Soon enough, I’d run out of money, and as much as I’d talked a good talk about taking their money for fun, I couldn’t abide being a freeloader or a thief.
That only left one option.
I squared my shoulders, took a deep breath, and stared Jackal in the eyes, hands on my hips as I stood with purpose.
“I want to go on the next contract with you.”