Chapter 51
SIMA
When I come back down to earth, Petyr’s hand is at my back, heavy and warm. He rubs circles into it, and I melt. Literally liquefy on his firm chest and even firmer shoulders.
Our breaths slow, uneven at first, then matching. My brain hasn’t caught up yet. Hasn’t quite come back down to earth with the rest of me.
I can still feel my pulse in my throat.
He looks up at me. A crooked smirk is tugging at his mouth. “You always find a way to distract me.”
“I’d say you looked like you needed it,” I grin back. “You were two minutes away from trying to strangle those spreadsheets. Or whatever they are.”
“Would’ve deserved it.”
I roll my eyes, and he wraps his arm around me and pulls me closer. My cheek finds his chest. He smells like whiskey and long hours, with just a hint of cedarwood. I can’t get enough of it.
When it comes to Petyr, I can never get enough.
For a while, we just sit there. The only sound is the faint hum of nature outside and the soft thump of Petyr’s heart under my ear. Steady, like nothing ever rattles him. Meanwhile, I’m still caught between calm and chaos.
“I should thank you,” he says after a moment. “I needed that interruption.”
He moves his hand along my back. Slow, aimless. Like he’s here but still half in his work. I don’t begrudge him that—I’m also half elsewhere.
In the kitchen, for example. With Kira. Replaying everything she confessed to me in her moment of weakness over and over again.
Should I bring it up? With Petyr?
I’m not sure about that. For starters, it’s none of my business. This is Petyr’s house, his family. His brother’s wife. Who am I to butt in?
Petyr shifts under me. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I answer too fast.
His hand stills on my back. “You’ve got that look again.”
“What look?”
“The one that says you’re thinking about something you don’t want to tell me.”
He’s right, and that annoys me more than it should. I trace the edge of his collarbone with my finger. “Something happened today. Nothing bad,” I add quickly when I see his face tense. “Just odd. Thought maybe I could run it by you?”
“Of course you can.” Petyr’s brow lifts. “What is it?”
“I talked with Kira today.” He doesn’t say anything, just waits for me to go on. “About Dimitri.”
His eyes narrow a little. “What about him?”
“She said it’s been hard lately. He’s having bad days again.” Suddenly, I worry that I’m betraying her confidence by going to Petyr with this. But then I remember how frayed she looked today, crying at the kitchen table. “She tried to play it off, but she’s exhausted. And worried.”
Petyr’s hand starts tracing shapes into my back again. The sensation slowly melts my body back into a relaxed state. I didn’t even realize how much tension I was holding in my shoulders until Petyr kneaded it out of me.
“Worried?” he asks.
“Yeah.” I swallow. “She mentioned Dimitri coming home soon. And I think she’s happy about that, truly. But…”
I hesitate. Again. Because Petyr has always been protective about his brother. It’s great of him to be, but it’s also what almost broke us. I don’t want to step on his toes again about it—not if I can help it.
But Petyr seems to read it right on my face. “Sima,” he exhales. “Speak your mind. I promise, I’m not going to flip my shit at you.”
That tugs a smile out of me. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. We’re in this together now.” His free hand brushes over my knuckles. “We’re family. That means you get a say in what goes on here.”
Family. That word gives me the courage I need.
“I think Kira needs help, Petyr. More than she wants to admit. I don’t know if you’ve talked nurses yet, but—”
“Yes.” He brushes a stray lock out of my face. “We did. I assured her we’d get her all the help she needs, but maybe I didn’t reassure her enough.”
I exhale with relief. So they’ve talked already. I feel a little silly for worrying so much, but also glad Petyr listened to me.
I brace myself for another hard question. One I haven’t been able to bring myself to ask yet. “Is it that bad?” I whisper. “With Dimitri?”
“No. That’s the thing.” He frowns. “I saw him a few weeks ago. He was better, Sima. Still recovering, but stronger. Lucid for most of the time.”
“That’s amazing.” Lightness fills me all of a sudden. I can’t keep my smile off my face. “He’s really doing that much better?”
“He is,” he confirms. “Spotty memory here and there, some physical therapy to go, but… he’s not in a bad way, Sima. Not like he was before.”
“I see.” I purse my lips. If that’s the case, it’s odd that Kira's so worried. Then again, I’ve never been in her shoes, so I really shouldn’t judge. Just count myself lucky for my blessings. “Maybe Kira’s burning out, then. From all the care she’s already given him.”
Petyr leans back, deep in thought. His jaw flexes. “Kira doesn’t ask for help. She never has. But if she’s saying something to you…”
“Then she’s probably closer to breaking than she wants to admit.”
He nods. “I’ll talk to her tomorrow. Maybe we will bring in a live-in nurse. She won’t like it—”
“You bet,” I mutter. Just the memory of how nasty she was to me when I first arrived is enough to send a chill through me.
“—but she’ll deal.” Petyr smirks, as if he’s reading my mind. I never shared her unkindness with him, so he doesn’t know that part, but he’s known Kira for years. He can guess how she’ll react to live-in help. “And she’ll be better for it.”
“That sounds good.” I peck him on the lips and rest my head against his chest again. A huge weight feels lifted off my shoulders. “She deserves a break. Dimitri, too.”
He hums in agreement. “Yeah. They both do.”
“I can’t wait to meet him,” I confess. “I’ve heard so much, but I’ve never…”
A twinge of unease prickles at me, but Petyr snuffs it out. “He’ll love you,” he says, like I’m an open book to him. And maybe I am. I realize I don’t mind that one bit. “It’s impossible not to.”
Warmth seeps into me. I kiss him again, slower this time. Deeper.
Petyr doesn’t return to his books for another hour after that.