17. Harper
SEVENTEEN
HARPER
I didn’t plan to fall into Rowan’s fucking arms. I didn’t want to want him so bad I managed to win an Olympic-level gold medal in mental gymnastics while overlooking his past transgressions. But when his lips met mine in that library, right after a near-fucking-death experience, my brain wasn’t leading the procession.
I never stood a chance.
My hands moved over him in ways I’d only imagined in my wildest, most secret fantasies. Lips, tongues, teeth, in a frantic tango that we’d put off for far too long.
"Fuck," I whispered against his mouth, "Ro?—"
"Ssh," he whispered back, a smile forming on those luscious lips pressed feather-light against mine. "Not here."
Somehow, I ended up on his back, my nose pressed into the crook of his neck as he huffed and puffed up the first flight of stairs. Which was a nice position to be in, all things considered. It felt strange to let someone take care of me for once, and I was still shaken up from the run-in with Jackal, so I refused to think of the long-term implications of getting tangled up with a man who’d clearly been holding a candle for me this whole time. For once, I just wanted to enjoy the good things in front of me.
Every couple of stairs, I whispered sexy things into his ear, nibbled at the edge of that soft skin, even darted my tongue out to tease the side of his neck. By the time we reached the second floor, I wasn’t sure who was more worked up.
Rowan abruptly stopped before he got to his door, and I slid from his back with a soft sigh of resignation.
He didn’t leave me wanting long.
Ro had me backed against a wall in seconds, his hands tangling in my hair as he yanked us back together, our kiss more fevered than before. My hands had a mind of their own, mapping out those bare abs, fingers sliding into every divot and dip of those glorious muscles he’d obviously worked hard to maintain .
"Someone’s been working out," I moaned, dragging my nails along that fucking washboard over his stomach. In between each movement, I pulled back just enough to guess how he did it, driving him crazy. "Crunches?" Kiss. "Situps?" Kiss. "Planking?—"
A warning growl left his throat as those hands moved from my hair to my waist, lifting me like I weighed nothing. "Shut up and put your legs around my waist, brat," he murmured into my neck, peppering my skin with little nips and kisses, soothing the tender spots with his tongue as I wrapped myself around him.
Fuck, he was solid everywhere, and now I could really feel him— all of him— pressed against me as we doubled down on our intense makeout sesh. My hands crawled over his bare shoulders, raking nails over his shoulder blades, a grin crossing my lips as he groaned in response.
"You do that again, and I’m going to fuck you right here in this hallway," he rasped, his lips moving to capture mine once more .
"Promise?" I breathed, nipping his bottom lip playfully, keeping him just far enough away to heighten the anticipation. I was two seconds from ripping my shirt off right here and letting him turn that tongue loose on my chest?—
"Ahem. I hope I’m not interrupting anything here."
Ro froze in place, his face turning just far enough away from mine to identify the person at the other end of that voice.
He groaned, and not in the way I wanted, as he set me on my feet and gave my ass one last parting squeeze. I was afraid he’d pull completely away, so it was a special sort of reward to my already fragile heart when he tucked me against his side and threw an arm around my shoulders, meeting the strange woman’s gaze with a dark one of his own.
"Bonnie."
She smiled, the move reminding me of a cat playing with a mouse. "Blackwood." Her eyes shifted to me, and I followed Ro’s lead, refusing to look away. "And are you going to introduce me to your little friend here? Or would you like to go back to sucking her face off instead?" She jerked her thumb over a shoulder, glancing back the way she’d come. "I mean, I can come back later?—"
"Who she is is none of your business, Bonnie. Why don’t you go find your other half and make sure he’s not slipping dick to someone else while your back is turned?"
"Fuck you, buddy," she spat, drawing a line between them in the proverbial sand. "Maybe I’ll just skip along and let it slip you’ve got a civvie in the building. I’m sure St. Clair would love to know her golden boys broke the rules."
I’d heard of Lilly St. Clair before. Everyone knew she was one of the biggest benefactors in the city, her monies distributed among several low-class and needy causes to help those less fortunate. Hell, if not for her, the community center in my little neighborhood would have been demolished long ago. But I had no idea that Lilly St. Clair, charitable businesswoman, was also Lilly St. Clair, Guild member and possible murderess.
Rowan looked ready to spit daggers at the woman in front of us. His whole body tensed up as if preparing for a fight, and I blinked stupidly as I just watched the transformation. Surely he wouldn’t attack this chick right here in the hallway where they both worked, right?
Right?
Her eyes found me again, and I shivered when she pulled out a taser and licked the tips of it lovingly, pulling it away to taunt me with a little zap. She looked disappointed when I didn’t jump and stomped her foot like a little girl, glaring at Rowan with hatred and maliciousness in her dead stare.
"You’d better be careful, Blackwood. There’s lots of pretty things go missing around here. And if the boss finds out you’re hiding a normie—well, I’ll be the least of your worries."
Rowan shoved me behind him toward the apartment, his eyes never leaving Bonnie. "Harper, why don’t you go inside and wait for me there? I’ve got something to discuss with Bonnie here."
"But Ro?—"
"Now, Harper."
His tone didn’t leave any room for argument, so I slipped away with a sigh of resignation, fighting against the instinct to stay and help him.
He didn’t need my help. I was no trained killer. I’d only be in the way.
And why the fuck would I wanna help a man who I clearly couldn’t trust?
When I closed the door behind me, I found myself unable to continue on. Instead, I slumped on the couch, feeling safer from the feelings I knew were building against my wishes if I wasn’t wrapped up in his scent. His bed. His personal space.
God, I wanted to roll in his sheets so bad.
When we were younger, I used to crawl into his bed when the nasty thunderstorms would roll through town. The rattled windows scared the fuck out of me, and he’d just let me—and usually Angel, too—cuddle up in his huge bed, his space a safety net that allowed us to sleep through the loud and violent noises. When Rowan was there, he made you feel safe. It was just a part of him, like the way his brows scrunched when he was making a plan and thinking of all the contingencies.
Now, it just felt wrong. It went against everything I’d built up these past seven years. The thought of trusting a man who’d essentially tried to kill me on his father’s orders when we were little more than fresh-faced adults grated against every promise I’d made to myself over the years.
I couldn’t fall victim to the lust that burned hot between us. It was just a chemical reaction to a near-death experience. That was all. My body had just gone so long without sex that the first man to show me attention of that manner lit me on fire and made me wanna crawl out of my skin .
That was all this was.
I’d have to make sure he knew it couldn’t go any further, too. For both of our sakes.
I had to set up boundaries. Had to honor them, too, for the good of my heart. Because these men were already proven walk-away Joes. They had a reputation. I couldn’t trust they wouldn’t leave me when this job was finally solved. Sure, Rowan offered protection now, but what happened when the clock on that offer ran out? I’d be on my own, that’s what.
And it was best for all of us if I drew that line in the sand early on, instead of waiting. Instead of letting myself get hurt because I dragged it out.
Even though it was the right decision, it still hurt like fucking hell.