Chapter 22
Twenty-Two
AMARA
I watched Luka from across the room. Bella had delivered our third meal of the day to my rooms. We had sealed ourselves inside for the entire day. I’d never done this. Not once. Not even if I had a cold or the flu. I at least made an effort to creep to my office and spend time behind my computer screen. I’d sneak in a few minutes by the pool, making the excuse that the vitamin D would restore my health.
Today I was perfectly healthy. Maybe even beyond healthy. I was invigorated. Yet, I didn’t want to leave the suite and chance piercing the perfect bubble Luka and I had created inside. Yes, it was a sex bubble. But, it was a fucking amazing sex bubble. Sweet, wild, fiery, consuming, beautiful, overwhelming. Was it possible this was what it felt like to fall in love with Luka again? Every time I let that idea in, the panic was as tangible as the excitement. I had to push them both away and focus on him instead.
Luka was distracting enough to drown out nagging competing emotions.
“Do you need me to call for anything else?” I asked. He joined me in the sitting area with two trays.
“No. These are great.” He sat across from me. “Your staff is well-trained and talented.”
“Thank you.” I smiled, lifting the silver lid from the platter. Bella had become invaluable.
“Except the one guy.” He lifted his knife in his right hand.
I groaned. “You mean Ciro?”
“Who else?”
I stuck my fork into a bite of avocado on top of the salad the kitchen staff had prepared.
“Why do you think you two hate each other so much?” I questioned.
“Because we both have the same target.”
I lowered my fork. “I’m not a target. And Ciro doesn’t see me the way you do. I assure you.”
“Please. I’ve seen how he looks at you. I know he’s the best in the industry. I can’t fault him for his work. But the vibe he still gives off after all these years is a little fucked up, Amara.”
My shoulders dropped. “We’ve had such a good day. I don’t want Ciro to ruin dinner.”
“Ciro or me?” he pressed. When I didn’t answer, he backtracked. “It has been a great day. I’m not trying to kill the mood.”
“Good.” I smiled. I couldn’t help but feel remnants of guilt start to attach themselves to the happy threads between us. The guilt was working its way in, whether I agreed with it or not. I could only postpone the truth for so long. “I should probably tell you something. Something that happened while you were away. It might explain a few things.”
Luka stopped chewing. His eyes flashed to mine. “What happened?” The playfulness left his voice.
I reached for the wine. I had Bella comb the cellar for one of my favorite bottles. It was a Ksara Rose with a little bubbly in it. I didn’t want to drink Novikov champagne with Luka after the Katya and Enzo story. We needed a few minutes to breathe on our own without being reminded of how we were going to get them to France.
I took a sip, following his eyes. “I’m fine. I’m completely fine now.”
“Shit. What does that even mean? Were you not fine?”
That was the wrong way to start the story. I’d always wondered if he had known. If somehow Dmitry or Anna had told him what happened. Surely, he kept up with New Orleans news. Wouldn’t he have asked me by now? His silence was the answer. He had been in the dark.
My eyes cut away. How was I supposed to tell him?
“Stop looking at me like that.” I needed him to back off. He couldn’t crack before I even told him.
“Like what?” He knew exactly what he was doing. Staring at me as if I were weak or fragile. I was neither of those things. I wouldn’t break if he held me too tightly.
“I’m sorry. It’s a tough topic. I’m worried what you’re going to think.”
“Then just tell me.” He pushed his plate to the side. It was possible I had ended the nice dinner we were going to share.
“Five years ago, I was kidnapped.”
I knew his eyes well enough to know that in less than a second he had crossed a spectrum of emotions.
“But, I’m completely fine.” If I kept saying those words over and over maybe they would be true. I could downplay the kidnapping for his sake. The worst parts had faded in three years.
“No.” He shook his head. His jaw was set in formidable opposition to what I had told him. “If it’s too much you don’t have to tell me.” Luka stood tall. He ran his fingers through his hair. “Fuck, Amara, I don’t know how to hear this.”
I hesitated to reach for him. I thought if I could touch him, draw him to me he might calm down. Couldn’t he see that whatever horrific scenes he was imagining, I had survived them? I was here with him now because I was safe.
“There are a lot of things we don’t know about each other. I’m trying to fill you in, but you’ve got to listen to the entire story. You can’t shut down on me before I explain. Please, Luka,” I pleaded for him to stop feeding his anger and focus on what was in this room—us.
There were reasons to tell him about the kidnapping. It had the potential to end his hatred of Ciro. I needed a break from the contempt between them, but what did broaching peace cost?
He exhaled. “I’m listening.” I could tell the effort it took for him to be still. His knuckles turned white against his sides. I felt the tension. The pain.
“Thank you. Maybe I should pour us refills.” I reached for the bottle of rose.
“I’m going to need something stronger,” he argued. He strolled to the bar and opened the lid on a crystal decanter.
“All right, so this is what happened,” I started once we had both returned to the sitting area. “It wasn’t long after my father died when things began to change quickly for me. It was a while before I took on the Amato organization. There were trips back and forth to Philadelphia. Long discussions with my Uncle Gio after my father passed.
“As long as my father was fighting for his life, I think we believed I was safe. What family would harm an only child during that time? Even if I was an adult child, codes were supposed to be followed. The traditions of New Orleans were supposed to shield me. There were still contingencies. I had bodyguards. More cameras. More protocols. More vetting than ever for anyone at work.” I took a sip of the sparkling wine. I didn’t have to look at Luka to know his eyes were on me.
“Things were bad. My father was home from multiple hospital stays but he had a nurse twenty-four hours a day. He had days, maybe hours. He was barely breathing. My memory is a little fuzzy on the exact timeline. It was then that we all let our guard down. We expected the other families to back off. To let us let him go.” I stared at my bare feet. “It turns out that was exactly what they wanted. My father asked Ciro for a last favor. A request from his deathbed” My voice started to crack. I’d never retold the story. It was becoming more difficult.
“The favor he needed was back in Philadelphia…and Ciro left.” My voice quieted.
The way Luka’s lips pressed together told me how desperate he was to bark out something nasty about Ciro.
I closed my eyes. Maybe I shouldn’t have. I should have kept my gaze on Luka. Let him ground me to the present. Hold me in the now. Once I was in my head, I was right back in the nightmare I’d spent years trying to forget.
But if he was going to know who I was now, he needed to know what I had survived. So I told him every single detail.