Chapter 5
Chapter
Five
NIKOLAI
T he night began like any other.
I met up with Anton, my second in command, on a supply gun check to count the inventory.
The meetup was in Texas by the border. I fucking hated the heat. It always ruined my suits, which I spent thousands of dollars on.
The tarmac was hot when I left the airplane with Anton by my side, and it was well over a hundred degrees by the time we made it to our drop point.
“Relax, boss,” Anton told me. “It’s the usual. We check the guns. Everything should be there. And then we can go back home.”
“But I don’t see why I needed to come this time,” I muttered, staring out the window as our driver took us through the Texan desert. “Everything is in working order.”
“It’s good to keep a personal eye on things.” Anton stretched his long legs out next to me in the backseat. Around my age, he also had dark hair and an even darker grin. We were mistaken for brothers frequently. He came from another Russian mob family, and I was happy to work with someone who knew the business as I did.
“You could have checked for me,” I tell him.
“Yeah, true. But you’re the boss.”
I shook my head but didn’t argue the point any more.
We arrived at the spot. An open stretch of highway in the middle of the desert. Two large vans sat waiting for us.
The moment I stepped foot outside, I was confronted by the heat. I could see literal heat waves in the air.
“Let’s get this over with.” I walked over to the first van and motioned for the man, Jose, to open the back of it. The van drivers, Jose and Carlos, had worked for me for years. They didn’t ask questions, which was just what I liked in an employee.
Jose lifted the storage door, revealing at least twenty boxes.
“Open one,” Anton instructed.
Jose took the lid off one of the boxes, and there it was. Guns. Military-styled machine guns. The entire van was full of them and so was the other one.
Anton whistled. “This will make us so much fucking money.”
I ran my hand down my face. There were no ridges. No bumps.
That’s because I didn’t have my scar yet.
“Everything is all there?” I asked Jose.
He nodded. “I counted. All twenty boxes. All hundred guns.”
I turned to Carlos. “Is it the same in that van?”
“Yes. But you can look if you want.”
“I trust you two. You’ve done good work for me before. I say we get back in our cars and leave this fucking place.”
“Sounds good,” Anton says. “But first, there’s something I’d like to say.”
His tone made me frown, and I looked over at him.
He had a gun pointed right at me.
“Anton,” I said slowly, raising my hands slightly. The driver of my car pulled out a gun … also pointed at me. “What’s going on?”
“As I said, Nik. These guns are going to make us a fuckload of money. But I don’t want to share. I’m tired of following orders. I want to be the boss for once.” His grin was savage.
“You’re double crossing me? How fucking cliché can you be?”
He shrugged. “It’s just the way things go in business, Nik. It’s nothing personal.”
“Drop your gun,” Carlos said, appearing by my side with a gun pointed at Anton.
“This just got interesting,” Anton said. “But I’m bored already.” Then he shot Carlos in the head.
I reached for my own gun, but Anton turned his weapon back onto me before I could grab it.
“You know what sounds really fun, Nik?” Still keeping his gun trained on me, he walked over to Carlos’s dead body and stomped on his head. Carlos’s skull crushed under Anton’s boot.
Anton was always one for torture. I tended to give people to him when I needed information, and he always delivered, coming back to me covered in blood.
But he never used his bloodlust against me.
Until now.
Jose was hiding next to the one of the vans, and I didn’t blame him. Jose was just a delivery driver. Not a fighter.
Anton turned his dark smile onto me, taking a dagger out of his pocket. “Now. I want to have some fun.”
Before I could react, he slashed the dagger across my face.
I wake up, drenched in sweat.
That always happens after I dream about Anton. Except it’s not just a dream. It’s a memory.
I stand before the mirror in my ensuite bathroom and stare at my scar. It’s a nasty, brutal thing. Anton didn’t let it properly heal after he cut me. The scar is still puckered and red in many places. It goes from my left temple, across my nose, to my lower right jaw.
I used to be a handsome man. Never had trouble with women. They flocked to me left and right, partly because of my money, partly because of my power, and partly because of my looks.
We all used each other in different ways. Sex. Money. Attention.
Now, when women look at me, they run screaming. I’m honestly surprised Ava hasn’t screamed at the sight of me yet. I just keep waiting for that moment when she does.
I know she hates me. I know I don’t deserve her.
I fucking bought her for fuck’s sake.
But I want her. Fuck, do I want her.
I want to kiss her so deeply neither of us can breathe. I want to put my face between her legs and eat her out and hear her scream as she comes. I want to be the first man she’s ever had inside her.
I want Ava.
The only reason I don’t take her right this second is because I’m not an utter savage.
If there’s a chance I can make her like me, I want that. Fuck knows why I care. I’ve never cared before if any woman liked me or not as a person. If a woman wanted me to fuck her, I did. I didn’t ask whether she was doing it because she liked me for me or because she liked me for my money.
But now, I don’t want to just be a monster in Ava’s eyes.
I just have no fucking clue how to change that.
I run my hand over my scar. The ridges have become familiar to me. A comfort.
Despite this, I can’t look at myself for too long.
I place a blanket over the mirror.
I stop by Ava’s door but don’t knock. I could just enter. I’ve done it before. But something stops me, and I continue walking.
It’s all a moot point anyway because Ava is in the kitchen. I stop at the sight of her. Her beauty is almost breathtaking. I’m sure she had men clamoring for her attention, but she was just too innocent to notice. When I looked into her and saw she attended Yale, I had some of my men do research. There’s a boy she was friends with. Jason. Lucky for him, it seemed they were only friends, or I would’ve had to kill him.
“Nikolai,” she says, no emotion in her voice for me to detect. She’s nursing a cup of …
“Tea?” I ask.
“I like it better than coffee. My mom—” She stops and doesn’t finish her sentence.
I turn my gaze away and head over to the coffee pot. Claude’s coffee is some of the best I’ve ever tasted. I’ve never been able to make it as good.
“Why are you out of your room?” I ask. Claude has already made breakfast and left. He won’t return until later to make dinner, which means Ava and I are alone. We’ve been alone together before, but that was in the bedroom. This is the kitchen in the light of the day. It makes everything feel … more on display.
I keep my back to her as she replies. “I just didn’t feel like staying in there all day.”
“Good. You have free rein of the house, you know. Except for my bedroom.” I turn to her. “Don’t go in there without my permission.”
“Why not?”
“We all have our secrets, Ava.” I watch her as I take a sip of coffee.
She stares down at the counter.
“You’re wearing your ring,” I notice, nodding toward her hand.
She runs her other hand over it. “I figured you wouldn’t want me flushing this one down the toilet either.”
“You’d be right.”
“Can we discuss my mom again? Going to?—”
“No,” I cut her off. “Not right now. I have a meeting to get to.” I take the cup with me as I head to the door, and then I pause. “But … maybe later.”
If I truly wanted Ava to like me, I would take her to her mother’s apartment so she could get closure. I would throw a funeral for her mother since I’m indirectly responsible for her death.
But if I truly allowed Ava to like me, then I would have to drop my walls. I would have to let her in.
My scar has made me a statue. Guarded and made of stone.
I’m not ready to tear the walls down—if I’ll ever be ready.
I’m not a good man, I remind myself. I wasn’t when I was younger, and I’m not now.
And nothing will ever change that; no matter how beautiful and sweet the woman may be.
“You look better in the daylight,” Dimitri says as we meet up outside in an old junkyard. His idea, not mine. I think it’s fucking ridiculous. We’re civilized men. We can meet at bars and restaurants, not places full of smelly old cars.
“And you still look like a pretty boy to me,” I remark.
He places a hand over his heart. “Ouch. You wound me, Nik.”
“Nikolai.”
“Right,” he says, snapping his fingers. “So, why did you want to meet up?”
“I want to attack The Knights before they get the chance to attack me.”
“Woah, slow down. I thought our deal just included us sharing territory so we could both make more money.”
“It does. But it also included blood. And death. I would’ve thought a man like you would enjoy those things.”
He sniffs, tugging on his jacket. “You’re right. I do like those things. I just tend to go about things with a more … delicate touch.”
“Bullshit. I’ve heard about your reputation, Dimitri. You once slaughtered five men at your club because they tried to steal from you.”
“You got me. Fine. We can go after The Knights. I love a little carnage. Just tell me where and when.”
“I’ll be in touch. I expect you to be there when I call. No backing out.”
Dimitri’s savage grin reminds of me Anton for just a moment. It startles me so much that I have to take a step back. “I never back out, Nik. You can count on me to always be there.” There’s a hidden threat to his words that makes me uneasy.
“Nikolai,” I repeat.
“Potato, po-tah-toe.”
Stifling a sigh, I turn away from him.
“How’s that pretty wife of yours?”
“We’ve been over this. Don’t talk about my wife.”
“I was just asking. No need to get upset.”
I glance back at him. He stands there with an innocent expression, but I don’t believe it for one second. “If you try anything with my wife, I won’t hesitate to kill you.”
“And I won’t hesitate to kill you if you try to kill me.”
At least we’re on the same fucking page.
AVA
Mrs. Brown is cleaning the dishes.
“Shouldn’t that be Claude’s job?” I ask, leaning against the counter.
“Don’t let him hear you say that. Then he really will hate you forever.”
I laugh as I grab one of the dishes and start washing it.
Mrs. Brown gives me a surprised look. “I’ve never seen any of Mr. Petrov’s women wash dishes before.”
My hands still. “Have there been a lot of women?”
“Here and there. Before he got his scar, they were over all the time. None of them even looked in my direction. I was pretty invisible. Though, some were sweet, none ever helped me with dishes.”
“My mom and I used to do them together. We didn’t have a dishwasher, so it was faster for one of us to wash and the other to dry.”
“You don’t talk about your mother often.”
“No, I don’t,” I murmur, setting the plate down. “You said ‘before the scar’.”
“Mmm?”
“Nikolai didn’t always used to have his scar.”
“I did say that, didn’t I? He was still pretty much himself, the way he is now. Just a little more withdrawn nowadays.”
“How did he get it?”
“I don’t know. He’s never told me. He just came home one day with it, and that was that. I’ve learned to not ask Mr. Petrov questions. If he wants to say, he’ll say. But you’re his wife. You’re different. If you want to ask him, ask him.”
“I just assumed it was a birth mark.”
“No, it’s definitely not a birth mark.”
“He invited women over?” I don’t know why I ask. I don’t care about Nikolai’s past just like I don’t care about his present or future. He doesn’t mean anything to me.
At least that’s what I tell myself.
Mrs. Brown gives me a curious look as she rinses off a cup. “Are you sure you want to talk about that?”
“Why wouldn’t I want to talk about it?”
“No reason.”
I can tell by her tone she has an opinion, but she doesn’t offer it.
“Yes,” she says. “There were other women. Lots of them. None of them ever stuck, though. He never settled down. Until you.”
“Why me, though? Why not any of these other women?”
“Dear, you keep asking me questions I don’t have the answers to. And you know who does.”
I sigh. “But he never tells me anything.”
“That’s Mr. Petrov for you.”
I set down the plate in my hands. Nikolai’s gone for the day, I realize. He doesn’t keep guards around the place, surprisingly. That makes me more scared of him because if he has the type of reputation that can keep people away, then what could he do to me if he got angry enough? Nikolai has his code, but how long will that really last?
But if I’m not here, and he can’t find me, then he can’t hurt me.
I could find a way to go back to my old life. Return to Yale. Live my life for myself.
“Mrs. Brown, what does your schedule look like?”
“Well, since you helped me with the dishes, I have to do all the laundry. And when that’s done, I’ll clean the bathrooms. Why do you ask?”
To make sure you’re out of the way when I leave.
“No reason. Just curious.”
“You’re sweet.” She shuffles out of the kitchen, and I make my way to the front door.
Once again, Edmund is there.
“Ava, hello.”
“Hello.” I could easily run past him. He’s old; I’m young. But he’ll call Nikolai the moment I leave. I just know it.
I can’t hurt Edmund. No matter how desperate I am to leave, I could never hurt an older, sweet man. But maybe I can bargain with him.
“Edmund, you should know I’m going to walk out that door and leave.”
He sighs and shifts on his feet. “I was worried you would try again.”
“You’re not surprised?”
“No. Not at all.”
“Are you going to stop me?”
“No. But I’ll call Mr. Petrov to let him know you left.”
“I know you will,” I say. “And I know I can’t stop you. But I am asking that you give me a head start. Even just fifteen minutes. Just give me that.”
“I could lose my job.”
A flash of guilt courses through me, but then I push it to the side. Edmund’s job isn’t more important than my own life. He’s a part of this. So are Claude and Mrs. Brown. None of them have tried to help me escape. Yet they all know Nikolai’s done wrong.
“Edmund, do this for me. You won’t lose your job. Just tell him you stepped away for just a moment, and that’s when I ran, and you called him the second you realized I was gone. You must have bathroom breaks, don’t you?”
He hesitates then nods.
“So, I snuck out, then. Just fifteen minutes. Please.”
After a long moment, he nods once more and, surprisingly, opens the door for me. “Have a nice walk, Mrs. Petrov.”
I jerk at the name. It’s the first time anyone has called me that.
“Thank you, Edmund.” I hurry out the front door and walk as fast as I can to the subway station. I have no money on me. There was no point looking around Nikolai’s house since he probably doesn’t have stacks of money just lying around. I’ll just have to figure it out somehow.
The closest subway station is a five-minute walk from Nikolai’s house, and I hustle to get there. Once I enter the grimy underground, I feel slightly better but only slightly. People swipe their MetroCards without even giving me a second look.
An older woman walking by slows down to dig inside her purse.
“Excuse me,” I say. She glances up with a smile. “Would you mind buying me a ticket? I’m on the run. I need to get somewhere safe.”
Her smile turns into a frown of concern. “Did somebody hurt you, sweetie?”
“Yes.”
“Let me help.” She leads me over to one of the self-serve kiosks and buys me a ticket. Her kindness isn’t lost on me after all the horrible people I’ve encountered lately, and I have to give her a hug. She’s startled then pats my back. “There, there.”
“Thank you so much.” I use the ticket to pass through the turnstile and get onto the platform. I search the line to see which one will take me to the train station.
It’s getting darker out, and there aren’t too many people on the platform. There are no subways here at the moment, so I have nothing to do but wait. The anticipation is killing me. I’m so close to making my escape, but I’m at the mercy of public transportation.
Two men enter the platform. One blond, one brunet. They’re dressed somewhat nicely in expensive jackets and shoes. They catch me looking at them and walk over. Immediately, I look away.
“How’s it going, baby?” the blond asks.
“Just waiting,” I whisper.
“Yeah, so are we. Mind if we wait with you?”
“No.” Just be polite . That’s what my mom taught me if I ever found myself in a scary situation. It’s why I haven’t been overtly mean to Nikolai. If I just act nice, then hopefully, it will appease him.
Hopefully, it’ll appease both these men, too.
“Thanks, baby.” The blond one nudges me with his arm. “So, where are you going?”
“To the train station.”
“No kidding!” He shares a look with his friend. “So are we.”
The dark-haired one smiles at me as he lights a cigarette, which only serves to make me more uneasy.
I wave a hand in front of my nose. “Sorry, can you not smoke that right next to me?”
“Sensitive, baby?” Blond asks.
“Yes.”
“John, put it out.”
The dark-haired one—John—scoffs and rolls his eyes, but he puts the cigarette out. Ok. So, maybe these men aren’t so bad after all. Maybe I’ll be ok.
I just need the damn train to appear, and then I can get on it and leave.
“You know, we’re heading to a party,” Blond says.
“I thought you were going to the train station.”
“Well, we are, but we’re going to a party first. Care to join us?”
“Thank you, but sorry, I just really need to get to the train station.”
“No worries.” Then he grabs my arm and pulls me roughly against him. “But you should know, baby, I don’t like being told no.”
“Please, let me go.”
He shares a look with John. “How polite she is.” Then he turns his eyes back onto me—cold eyes, I realize now I can see them up close. “But I like you, baby. I think you’re one of the prettiest girls I’ve ever seen. Join us. You’ll regret it if you don’t.”
“Let her go.” It’s the kind older woman who bought me the ticket.
Blond and John laugh as they look her over. “Fuck off, grandma.”
She whips out a can of pepper spray and shoots Blond in the eyes with it. He screams and falls down.
“You bitch,” John says right before he punches her.
I gasp. “You bastard!” Without even thinking about it, I punch him right in the nose, and he stumbles back. I turn to the old woman. “Are you all right?”
She has her hand clenched to her face, and blood is seeping through her fingers.
As if on cue, the train finally arrives.
“We should get you to the hospital. Come on.” I quickly walk away into the train car, leaving the two assholes behind.
After we sit down, she hands me her purse, and I find a napkin inside. “Here. Remove your hand. Let me see.” I gently press the napkin to her face, “Hold it there. It doesn’t look too bad if it’s any consolation.”
“I don’t care about me. I just wanted to make sure those two left you alone.”
“You’re so sweet. Thank you. What’s your name?”
“Rosemary.”
“I’m Ava.”
She holds my hand the entire subway ride to the hospital.
I stand by Rosemary’s bed as the doctor looks her over.
“We’ll need to take an x-ray of it. I’ll be back in a bit.” He leaves us alone.
“Rosemary, once again, thank you.”
“Just doing what I would for any girl. I would’ve wanted someone to help me like that.”
“You don’t understand. I haven’t had much kindness in my life recently. You’ve helped me so much.”
We share a smile.
But my smile doesn’t last long when I see Nikolai appear in the doorway.
“How did you find me?” I ask, barely feeling my lips move.
His eyes flick to Rosemary then back to me. “You really thought you could run again? I own this city, Ava. I have guards stationed across the street from our house. They followed you and told me where you were. When they said the hospital, I was concerned. But now I see you’re not hurt.”
“Was this the one?” Rosemary asks. The one I was running from was left unsaid.
I nod, and she takes my hand and squeezes.
“So, what are you doing here, Ava?” he asks.
“Helping Rosemary. She got hurt, and I wanted to make sure she was safe.”
His eyes soften just a moment, then he shakes his head, frowning. “I’m confused. You could have gotten farther than the hospital. I pegged you for returning to Yale. Why help her? Who is she to you?”
“I just met her today. But she saved me from these two men.”
“Men?” he asks, straightening up.
“Rosemary sprayed them with pepper spray.”
“Just the one,” she explains. “You punched the other.”
“I did.” I almost forgot I punched John in the face. Honestly, it felt kind of good.
“Ava, let me speak to you alone,” Nikolai instructs.
“I’ll be ok,” I tell Rosemary when she doesn’t let go of my hand, and she nods, releasing me. I follow Nikolai into the hallway. “I know. I shouldn’t have run. But I did. So, punish me or whatever you’re going to do to me.”
“You helped that woman. When you didn’t have to. Why?”
“Because she helped me. It was only fair.”
“No. Something tells me you would have helped her even if she hadn’t helped you. Am I right, or am I wrong?”
“No, you’re right,” I say. “I would’ve always helped her.”
“You’re good,” he says almost under his breath. I’m not sure if I was supposed to hear it or not. “Too good.”
“What’s going to happen now?”
“Now, you come back home.”
“But Rosemary?—”
“Will be fine.” He pauses then says, “I can keep a guard here, and he’ll report back to me if anything bad happens.”
“You would do that?” To say I’m surprised is an understatement.
“You could be out of the city by now. Far away from me. But you chose to stay to help that woman. I’ve never seen that kind of selflessness before.”
“There’s a first time for everything.”
His stare is intense and long and makes me breathless. “Yes, I suppose there is.”