Chapter 33
Thirty-Three
Luka
“Get the fuck out of my house!” I turned around in time to see a crystal vase nearly clip the side of my head. I ducked.
“Amara.” I eyed her, taking a step toward her.
“No,” she growled. “You monster. You piece of shit, monster.”
I imagined any moment Ciro would walk in with a gun pointed to my head. I snaked an arm around Amara’s waist, dragging her from the door and locking it in place. She screamed, trying to free herself. I shoved a chair against the door to create more of a barricade.
“Stop,” I growled.
I put her on the ground and she spun with a ferocious glare in her eye. “Get out. I never want to see you again. Never.”
Her chest heaved with irrational, heavy breaths.
I took another step toward her, eyeing her in case she chose to hurl something else toward me, like the fire poker she was nearing.
“You found out about the kidnapping,” I stated.
“You murdered my father,” she hissed.
“He murdered my uncle,” I countered.
Her eyes widened. It was information she didn’t have. Someone had only given her pieces of information. It took about two seconds to assess my mother had gotten a message to Ciro. Fuck. She was good. I had destroyed her stability, so she was willing to burn my life to the ground. A woman with zero maternal instincts.
“Ivan?” Her eyes narrowed.
I nodded. “Yes. The Sovietnik before me.” I remained calm. My voice like ice. “My father’s brother. Your father took him out before you arrived to sow chaos in the Novikov organization.”
She shook her head. “I don’t care. I don’t want to know. Just go. Nothing you say is believable. Truthful. Honest. You’re a fucking liar.”
I took another step toward her, blocking her reach for the fireplace utensils.
“That’s not true. You’re mine, Amara. Dusha moya. My soul.”
“No. Stop saying that. Don’t ever call me that again. You kidnapped me. You made me your prisoner.”
I inhaled. “I didn’t have a choice,” I responded.
“Of course you had a choice!” she screamed.
I inched closer, eyeing her. “I did. You’re right.”
She seethed. “So go. The lie is over. You got your Novikov revenge. Go.”
I shook my head. Our eyes locked just as I grabbed her wrist with a firm hold. She tried to wrestle free, but I brought her against my body.
“Let me go.” She pounded on my chest with heavy thuds with one free hand while I pinned the other behind her back.
“I will never let you go.” I waited for her to still.
“I can’t love you anymore. You have to know that.” Her breathing softened. “Keeping me like this proves nothing.” I saw the way her eyes flickered.
“I had a choice. You are right. It was either kill you with your father, or make sure you never had any knowledge of who was behind the attack. I had a choice to rid this world of you. I had a choice to breathe, knowing you no longer did. I could either handle the directive myself, or resign as Sovietnik and know you would be murdered in your bed because my father ordered it so. You are right, kotyonok. I did have a choice. And I chose you. For you to live. To have joy. To have success. To love you from an ocean away. I chose to keep the secret, knowing if you ever found out you’d hate me and I’d never redeem myself in your eyes.”
Amara blinked tears. Her bottom lip quivered. “No.” She shook her head. “You’re lying. You’ll say anything right now to convince me.”
I released the hold I had on her wrist and stepped back from her. The gulf between us was immeasurable. It was like someone had taken a hatchet to my soul.
“I would do it again. And again,” I whispered. “I had to move to France to keep you safe. I had to kill your father to keep you safe. I had to take you prisoner to save your life. I regret nothing I chose to do so that you are here right now in this room with me. The alternative was not something I ever considered. Never.”
She swallowed hard.
“I told you I was a dangerous man the night we met.” She hadn’t retreated. My hand reached for her cheek. “But I am not a danger to you. For you I would walk through fire. I would kill a thousand men. I would break down every door in this city and raid every crypt to find you. To bring you home to me. To have you sleep in my bed every night. I will lie. I will cheat. I will make any deal I have to make. I will use the full force of my Bratva army for you and you alone, Amara. To protect you. And that’s what I did. I chose you. And I’ll choose you every single fucking day so you that you can live. Even if you hate me. Despise me. Never want me to touch you or fuck you ever again.”
A tear slipped from the corner of her eye and splashed over my thumb. She crumpled against my chest. My arms didn’t move. I stood there while she sobbed against my white shirt. She hit me. She screamed. Her hands snaked up my neck, drawing my lips to hers. She bit me until she drew blood.
“Fight back,” she pleaded, realizing there was now a cut on my lower lip.
I shook my head. “No. This is for you. I owe you my blood. My soul. All of it.”
Her nails dug into my chest. “I was your prisoner,” she whimpered. She tore at my shirt, ripping the buttons away. “You made me your fucking prisoner!”
“Yes.” The temptation to hold her. To touch her. To claim her with more kisses was primal and strong. “You were never in danger,” I whispered. “I kept you safe. I kept you alive. I swear I would never hurt you.”
She cried, giant sobs against my bare skin. The tears were angry and hot.
I closed my eyes when I felt her lips rake against my skin. Her tongue made a small line followed by another kiss against the planes of my chest. “Amara,” I whispered. She had to know how goddamn good that felt. My cock ached for her.
“I love you,” she gasped. “How do I stop?” There was pain in her voice. “How do I not let heartbreak be the thing that kills me? How do I ever survive losing you again?”
Not touching her was torturing me.
“You don’t.” I growled. My arms encircled her, lifting her against my waist. My mouth was hungry against hers. “You never stop loving me. I’ve never stopped loving you. I won’t. You are part of my soul.”
I lifted the skirt on her dress to her hips while she quickly unfastened my belt. I staggered backward on the couch, shirking the pants to my thighs. It was desperate and angry. A need we had to satisfy. I slid her underwear just slightly off center as I sat on the couch. I didn’t care if this was the last time I ever fucked her. I would sear my body into hers. We would remember the moment we said goodbye for the last time.
“Fuck me,” I commanded.
She sank onto my erection with the force that would have broken most men. Her nails dug into my shoulders. Her eyes were crazed with lust and passion.
“You ruined me the first time we did this,” she seethed.
“You weren’t the only one.” I lifted her by the waist, slamming her over my swollen head. She screamed out. I lifted her again, letting her ride out all the anger, the frustration, the passion. “I’ve never been the same, kotyonok,” I moaned.
“Ty moya,” she growled.
My eyes opened and I stared at her. This wasn’t angry revenge sex. It wasn’t goodbye sex.
My hands moved to the side of her face. I crushed another kiss against the sweetness of her lips.
“You hate me,” I moaned.
She rode harder and faster. She panted. The tears streamed along her cheeks.
“I forgive you, Luka,” she whispered. “I could never hate you.”
I pulled her from my lap and spun her so she was lying with her back was on the couch. I positioned myself over her, sliding into her heat with a slow thrust. I didn’t know it would happen so suddenly but she shattered around me. The orgasm spilled through her body as she gasped for air and gravity.
“Shh shhh.” I tried to quiet her. “Good girl.” I grinned at her, kissing the side of her neck and her throat. She was mine. This woman would always be mine. “Now I’m going to take my time with you. Fuck you slowly. Fully. Completely. Because you are fucking mine.”
“Luka,” she breathed against the side of my face. “I really do forgive you.”
“Why?” I had to ask.
“Because I remember the war between our families. I remember what our fathers did to us. I know if I had to choose back then…” She jutted her chin forward. “I would have chosen you too.”
“Oh fuck me.” I pushed inside her. The darkness had lifted. Finally, I had the redemption I never thought I’d taste.
“I’ll never stop,” she moaned.
“No. Neither will I.” I lifted her hips and buried myself inside her.
Ciro began beating on the door. “Go away,” Amara called. “I’m fine.”
I quietly spun her on her stomach. “We aren’t leaving this office until we are completely convinced of our ultimate and complete salvation and forgiveness.”
She wiggled her ass toward me. “Fuck me, Luka,” she whimpered. “Just fuck me.”