Chapter 43
CHAPTER
FORTY-THREE
EMERSON
“What’s wrong?” Holden asked the moment he saw my face.
“Nothing.”
“Bullshit. Tell me.” He crossed his arms and leaned against Hope’s car. I glared at him, but it did nothing but make his smirk grow wider. “I can do this all day, Wildcat.”
“I can’t tell you.”
He pushed off the door and pulled me into his arms. It was strange seeing this side of him on campus. I got it at home and the apartment, but we hadn’t been together yet at Hayward. His hands cupped my face, his eyes boring into mine as he swiped his thumbs across my cheeks.
“You can tell me anything.”
I shook my head. “Not this.”
Holden’s nostrils flared, and he squeezed his eyes shut. After a beat, he blew out a breath and opened them. “I’m so tempted to drive you crazy until you crack, but Colt says that’s not a healthy way of getting what I want.” I smiled at that, my insides melting. “But I’m also not going to let shit fester between us, so here’s my compromise. You have until the end of the night to tell me, or I’ll get it out of you.”
And just like that, my insides hardened again.
“You can’t bully me to get what you want. I’ve had enough Adlers telling me what to do.”
“So it’s about Hope.” He lifted a brow, pleased with himself.
I stuttered. “What? No. It’s not…”
Holden leaned forward, his lips ghosting over the hollow of my neck as he whispered, “Believe me, baby, what I’d do to you, you’d enjoy. So, keep that in mind.” He sucked on the spot, and my eyes closed. If he kept doing this, I would be goo in his hands. Despite my desire, I pushed against his chest.
“You can’t use your dick magic to make me comply, either. That’s also not healthy.”
“Dick magic?”
I rolled my eyes, my cheeks heating. “I hate you.”
“No, you don’t. You love me.” He kissed me, stealing my breath and proving his point as I eagerly chased him with my mouth. “Clock’s ticking until it’s dick magic time.”
“I so regret saying that. You’ll never let it go now.”
“It’s not every day I hear about my dick being magical,” he teased. Seeing the smile on his face was worth it. Teasing Holden was in a league of his own.
“Doubtful. I’ve heard rumors on campus. You’ve got all the girls salivating.” Dread dropped in my belly at the reminder of how those girls viewed my boyfriend. Before I could overthink it, he spun me and pressed me against the door. His body blanketed mine, his cock very happy to see me.
“The only girl I care about, think about, and obsess over is you, Wildcat. And my dick might be magic, but your pussy is heaven, and I die every time I’m in it. I’ll never get enough of you, Em. Never. You’re the first person I’ve told who isn’t family that I love them. That means something to me. So, fuck those girls. Fuck the rumors. You, me, and Colter. That’s all that matters. Remember?”
And I was back to melting. How could I doubt him when he said stuff like that? I couldn’t.
His lips smashed into mine before I could answer, and all notion of being decent was gone as he kissed me. Passion and desire swirled between us, now accompanied by love, and I was a complete and utter goner for this man. I loved that he pushed me. That he didn’t let me get away with shit. That he saw me deeper than anyone else. He grounded me and allowed me to fly in the same breath.
“I remember. It means something to me, too. The three of us.” I pressed my head to his, wrestling with my decision. I couldn’t say anything until I knew more. I didn’t want to ruin his relationship with his sister. I needed to face this for myself first. “I’ll tell you, but I need time to deal with it first. Can you give me that?”
“As long as you don’t shut me out, I’ll give you whatever you need, Wildcat.”
My hand brushed through his hair, and I breathed him in, relaxing myself. I already felt better just by being in his arms. “I love you, Holden.”
He gave me a genuine smile I’d only seen him wear around Colter and me. “I love hearing you say that.” He pecked my lips before dropping me to the ground. Huh. Hadn’t realized he’d picked me up. “I better get you to work before I get benched for being late to practice. I’ll pick you up at 10.”
After another make-out session in Ember’s parking lot, I made it inside and changed into my outfit for the night—cowboy boots and a plaid shirt. I didn’t have a cowboy hat, but JoJo said she’d cover me.
“There you are!” she said, sprinting into the room. She plopped a hat onto my head. “Perfect. ”
“How bad are my feet gonna hurt after this?” I asked, looking down at the pink cowboy boots I’d worn once.
“Have you broken those in? They look brand new.”
“Shit. They basically are.”
She grimaced. “Maybe you can talk your hot boyfriend into giving you piggyback rides to and from classes.”
“I don’t—” I started, until I realized I did have a hot boyfriend, two actually. Smirking, I turned. “Which one?” I couldn’t see her face, but the gasp and hurried steps told me my comment had struck.
“Shut up. Spill the tea, bish!”
I mimed zipping my lips, and she slapped me on the arm. “No secrets.”
“Fine. I’ll spill if you share something.”
“Anything.” She bounced on her toes, and I laughed.
“Is there something between you and Hendrix?”
She choked, bending over to take a deep breath, and that was when I realized she was laughing. “God, no. He’s my brother’s best friend, and I don’t have the correct anatomy.”
My eyes widened. “Really? I had no idea.” I thought back over my interactions with him. “Huh. Okay.”
“He doesn’t hide it, but won’t flaunt it because of toxic masculinity. He’s discreet, but I honestly think he’s sworn off dating after his last disastrous breakup. But enough about Henny. Tell me, tell me, tell me!” She grabbed my hand and jumped up and down like an overgrown puppy.
“I’m dating Holden and Colter. We’re official.” I shrugged, my face heating.
“Bish. You’re so damn lucky.” She fanned herself. “Just picturing being between those two has me hot and bothered. I think I even have a girl crush on you. Do you guys want a fourth? How do I audition? Do they kiss? That would be hot!”
“Five-minute warning!”
Thank God. I did not want to answer any of her questions. I spun on my too-new cowboy boots and headed out to the floor, JoJo yelling after me, “Answer me!”
“Can’t hear you!”
A body stopped me at the door, and JoJo almost ran into me. I’d forgotten about the new protocol.
“Hand,” he said, and I lifted it so he could stamp it. Hendrix rotated stamps so they couldn’t be copied, and they were black-light, so the guards checked them before letting anyone down the hallway. It was much easier than keeping a card on us at all times.
Since it was country night, JoJo and I headed to the front. We weren’t leading the line dance, but were dispersed on the dance floor so everyone could see the dance if they didn’t know it. The music came back on, and the floor filled with patrons dressed similarly to us—cowboy boots, cowboy hats, jeans, and flannel.
Beyonce’s country song came on, and the crowd cheered, falling into step with the dance. After one song, sweat beaded my brow, and my feet already felt pinched in the shoes. After the past two days, tonight was one of the first times I didn’t want to dance. It felt more like a chore than enjoyable. Instead of taking my mind off things, I just thought about them more and more.
By the time Holden walked into the bar during my last dance shift, I’d worked myself up again. I needed to confront Hope or I was liable to blow a gasket. When the final song ended, I sighed in relief and headed off the floor. My feet throbbed, my body was drenched in sweat, and I’d worked myself up into a tizzy of frustration and betrayal.
That was what hurt the worst—believing she’d changed. Once again, I’d been made the fool. If her business degree didn’t work out, she had a career in acting.
Changing out of my clothes, I texted Holden to meet me in the back parking lot. JoJo had left an hour ago, so I didn’t have anyone else to say bye to. Turning the corner, I smacked into a hard chest. Hands gripped me, and I tensed until I felt the familiar electricity between us.
“Everything good?” He rubbed my arms up and down, easing my irritation.
“Yeah. Just ready to go.” Holden nodded and linked our hands together. He nodded to a few guards as we passed, but said nothing else. “How’s Colter?” I asked once we were outside.
“He fell asleep around nine. He wants to return to classes tomorrow.”
“He’s joking, right?”
“That’s what I said. You might have to use your female persuasion on him.”
“Why does this feel like something that benefits you?” I teased.
“If I get to join in your persuasion, I don’t see how that makes it any less efficient.”
“Ah, I see. You’re a complete martyr, are you, Holden Adler?”
Holden picked me up, swinging me around as I laughed and clung to him. “Don’t drop me!”
“Wildcat, are you sure you’ve been to the same football games I have? I don’t drop things.”
“So humble!”
“We don’t joke about dropping, Wildcat.” He peered down at me, his eyes blazing as he stared at me. “I missed you.”
“It was only a few hours.”
“Too long. I plan to remind you how good we feel together at home.”
I licked my lips. “Then what are you waiting for?”
He groaned, kissed me quickly, and then unlocked Hope’s car. It was weird being inside it, the reminder of her stealing some of my arousal .
“What’s wrong?” Holden asked as we walked in the back door twenty minutes later.
“Nothing.”
“You’re back to having that face.”
“What face?” I asked, unlocking the door and disengaging the security system. Once we were both inside, I set it back to armed.
“You look like a pissed-off Cabbage Patch.”
“I’m sorry, what?” I blinked.
“You got the sweet face, but your eyes say you’re gonna fuck things up. So, what are you about to fuck up, Wildcat?”
“Nothing.” I swallowed.
“Uh huh. I’ll give you until we’re in your room to think of a better response before I break out my dick magic.” He motioned for me to head up the stairs. Tension built between us, and it wasn’t the good kind. Heaviness filled my limbs, making each step harder to take. I didn’t want to lose him—I’d just gotten him—but would he pick her over me if I told him I wouldn’t let Hope ruin me again?
Was I ready to find out?
One day. I had one day of perfect bliss before it had all blown up. Literally.
At the top of the steps, I turned and faced him. I didn’t want to wake Colter. “I asked for time to figure it out. I still need that because I have a feeling I’m going to have to do something you won’t like. If I’m going to lose you, I want to be sure.”
Holden’s jaw clenched, and he balled his hands into fists. “What part of forever don’t you understand, Wildcat?” Holden crowded me, towering over me, his eyes dark as he stared down at me. “You keep changing the playbook, forgetting you have a whole team here to help you. Let me in, baby.”
My lip wobbled. “I’m scared you won’t choose me.”
“Do I need to get down on one knee for you to hear how fucking serious I am? You’re my everything, Emerson. Nothing comes before you anymore. Not football. Not Hope. Not my fear. You’re my family now, you and Colter. You’re always first .”
All the self-doubt and insecurities vanished in an instant. I was letting my baggage fuck it up. Holden had been honest. He’d trusted me, and I owed him the same courtesy. I loved every part of him, not just some.
“You’re right. I’m sorry for not trusting in your love. I won’t doubt it again.” I cupped his cheek, his rough stubble harsh against my hand, and I relished it. Letting out a deep breath, I told him about the conversation I’d overheard in the bathroom. Holden didn’t dispute anything. He just listened.
“No more bullshit. Come on.” He took my hand and pulled me down the hallway, but before he’d taken a few steps, he stopped, and I ran into his back.
“Ow. Why’d you stop?” I rubbed my nose, blinking the tears away as he stepped away.
Sitting in front of my bedroom door, with her leg in a new cast, was none other than Hope Adler.