Chapter Eight
Day 8: Saturday
Fort Lauderdale, Florida
646 Nautical Miles from Puerto Plata
Andrew
I didn’t sleep. I walked the ship for about three hours before finally heading back to my room. All I could think about was how I had hurt her. It certainly wasn’t intentional, but her feelings are still valid. I said all I could and probably more than I should have. I have been falling in love with this woman all week, and I fear I may lose her. I have one more chance of winning her back at breakfast.
“You’re up early,” Pieter says as I enter the bridge at 5:30 a.m.
“Good morning, Captain,” I reply.
“We are running a tad early this morning and should be at the terminal by 6:48 a.m.,” he states.
I walk over to him so only he can hear my voice.
“The Pearl is sailing today.”
“Great news, Andrew. Congratulations!”
“There’s no one else we would want at the helm,” I say as I pat him on his shoulder.
“I’m honored. And I know Ally and Marcus are looking forward to it as well.”
“Speaking of Ally, she’s meeting me this morning.”
“I’ll see you before you disembark?” he asks.
“Yes, sir.”
Ally is already waiting for me in my room when I return.
“Where did you go last night?” Ally asks.
“DJ and I had an issue yesterday, and it wasn’t good.”
“What happened?”
“My call with the board went much longer than expected, and I wasn’t able to meet up with her. She thought I ghosted her.”
“AJ! That’s not good.”
“I know. I caught up with DJ at dinner and explained what happened and that I didn’t intentionally ghost her.”
“So, she knows you’re the CEO of the cruise line? ”
“No. I told her I’m a CEO who had a call with my board about a $1.4 billion investment.”
“Why didn’t you just tell her? At this point, what does it matter if she knows who you are?”
“I don’t know. I just don’t want to lose her,” feeling confused.
“What are you going to do?”
“Well, when she asked me about my thoughts on marriage and kids, I may have indicated that I hoped that she’s in my future.”
Ally begins clapping her hands and gets all giddy.
“Yay! What did she say?”
“She got into the elevator and went to her room.”
“Ouch.” All the giddiness is completely sucked out of her voice.
“I know. She said we could meet for breakfast this morning, so I’ve got that going for me.”
“What time are you meeting?”
“Seven a.m. at the buffet.”
“What time are you getting off the ship?”
“I don’t know. I think Kristen has my car picking me up at ten a.m. Do you want a ride?”
“That would be great. Marcus and I are packed and will be ready whenever you are.”
“You guys have dinner plans tonight?” I ask.
“Obviously, you didn’t check your text messages this morning. Andi invited us all over tonight for tacos and margaritas.”
“When did that come in?”
“About thirty seconds before you walked in here.”
“Sounds great! I’ll text you when I’m ready to leave.”
“I hope all goes well at breakfast, and if it does, maybe she can join us tonight? It’s 6:27. I’ve got a meeting in three minutes.”
“I’ve got to pack. I’ll talk to you later.”
She opens the door and turns back and says, “Thanks, AJ. I’ll see you later.”
Delaney
I woke up this morning with a clear head. I’m going to surprise Andrew and meet him at his room. Andrew. I love the sound of it as it rolls off my lips. He’s such an Andrew. Do you know how some names just fit the person? Well, Andrew fits him well. I finally fell asleep last night after packing but only got a couple of hours. My mind wouldn’t stop thinking about our upcoming conversation at breakfast .
I’m going to tell him that I also see him in my future. I don’t know what that looks like since he’s a CEO, but that’s what I’m going to tell him. I’m going to tell him that I’ve fallen in love with him and want to figure out how we can make this work.
Double-checking my room, I make sure all my bags are packed, and I’m ready to walk off the ship so I can spend as much time with him as possible. One final glance in the mirror, and I’m headed to 15001 at 6:25 a.m.
As I walk down the long corridor to his room, the butterflies have returned. I’m nervous, excited, and finding it hard to calm down. I turn the corner and watch a beautiful woman in a white officer uniform leaving his room. It’s the same woman he was talking to at the bar the first night we met at Emilio’s. The same one who took our picture after the pinko colada episode. The same woman he was talking to with the captain the night we ate at the Kitchen Table. It’s the fucking cruise director!
I stop dead in my tracks. She turns and goes in the opposite direction down the other corridor and never sees me. I stand there, nearly paralyzed. I can’t move. I want to, but my feet won’t cooperate. I want to run. It’s like someone just hit my chest with a sledgehammer. I feel the tears begin to well up, and I know I have to get out of here before Andrew leaves his room.
I start second-guessing myself. I look at the room numbers around to make sure I’m on the 15 th floor. Check. I peek around the corner to see if it was his room that I saw her leave from. Yup, 15001. Fuck!
Is this someone he’s had a relationship with in the past? He does cruise a lot, so it’s not out of the question. She has been a familiar face throughout this whole cruise! Did he reach out for a booty call after I went to bed? I don’t have it in me to knock on his door. I would love to call him out, but my heart cannot go through this again.
Here come the tears. I need to leave, get off this ship, and move on. I only hope that my heart can do the same. #heartbreakingintotinypieces
Andrew
I arrived at the buffet at 6:45 a.m. because I couldn’t wait to see DJ. It’s now 8:37 a.m., and I haven’t seen her. I’ve watched hundreds of passengers move through the buffet line before they leave the ship, but no sign of DJ. Is this payback for yesterday? I checked my stateroom phone for messages, and…nothing.
I catch Ally out of the corner of my eye, and she gives me the “What’s up?” look. I shake my head and mouth, “No show.”
I walk over to her.
“What happened?” she asks.
“She never showed. I guess she’s made up her mind. ”
“I’m so sorry,” she says, hugging me.
“Thanks. I’m going to find Pieter, and then we can leave.”
“Do you want me to get her information?”
Pausing, I think about it.
“What’s her name?”
“DJ,” I answer. “Ally, what good would that do? She clearly doesn’t want to see me, or she would have been here.”
“I could at least get her contact info. What’s her room number?”
“She was staying on the tenth floor, but I don’t know her room number.”
“Let me make a call.”
Now I understand how she felt yesterday when I didn’t show up. This fucking sucks. This is hitting so hard. Just sitting here all morning waiting, excited to see her, and nothing. The majority of passengers have cleared out, and only a few people are lingering around. I do one final spin through the buffet area, and there’s still no sign of her.
I know it will take only a nanosecond for Ally to look in the system and find her contact information. But the more I think about it, the more I don’t want it. I said all I could last night, and if DJ doesn’t want to continue the conversation, there’s nothing I can do about it. She made her choice, and I’m not part of it.
I gather my bags from my stateroom and head down to where the crew disembarks. Pieter is waiting for me with Ally and Marcus.
Leaning in for a hug, I state, “It’s been a fantastic week, Pieter. Thank you.”
“It’s been our pleasure, sir,” he responds.
“I look forward to seeing you and Margot in a couple of weeks on the VIP cruise.”
With that, the three of us walk down the gangplank toward the small customs area we have to clear before heading to the car.
“A fantastic week?” Ally asks.
“Well, right up until thirty minutes ago, it had been.”
“Ya, sorry about that, AJ,” I hear Marcus from behind me.
“Thanks, bro.”
A large black SUV is waiting for us when we depart the terminal. Sharing a ride is convenient because Ally and Marcus have an apartment in the same building, just down the hall from mine.
“Do you need to stop anywhere before we get home?” I ask.
“No, we’re good,” she replies. “Are you going to ask me?”
“Ask you what?”
“Did I find her information?”
“Ally, I thought about it and don’t rea—”
“There was no DJ on deck ten, AJ,” she interrupts.
“What?” I respond. She’s catching me completely off guard.
“There was no one by the name of DJ on deck ten. ”
“Come on, Ally, seriously?”
“Seriously. Are you sure she was on the tenth?”
“I dropped her off every night on the tenth floor. This is crazy shit!”
“There wasn’t even anyone with the initials DJ on the tenth floor. I’ll go one further. There was no one with the name DJ on the entire ship.”
“What the fuck?!”
All that shit about whether “AJ” was even my real name, and she wasn’t even using her real name.
“Who was this woman?” Marcus asks from the seat behind me.
“A ghost. DJ obviously didn’t use her real name and…”
“I’ve got it,” Ally exclaims.
“Got what?”
“We can pull up the pictures of the passengers. Every passenger has their picture taken before boarding. We can find her that way.”
“Ally, let’s drop it. It shouldn’t be this difficult.”
“Do you love her?” she asks.
“I do, or at least I thought I did. She didn’t show up for breakfast. She didn’t use her real name. Who knows? It’s probably best to just let her go.”
“But, AJ,” she pleads.
“It’s ok, Ally.”
The rest of the car ride is quiet.
“So good to be home,” Ally acknowledges as we pull up to the building.
We’re greeted by a familiar face.
“Welcome home, Mr. Russo,” William announces. And then his eyes get big, and a large smile crosses his face when he sees my sister. “I heard you might be coming home, Ms. Russo.”
She greets him with a huge hug. “It’s so good to see you, William.”
“Welcome home, Mr. Vogel.”
“Thank you, William. Can you please call me by my first name?” Marcus pleads.
“Ya, good luck with that.” I smile.
“I’ve only been asking for the last eight years,” Marcus says.
“So, what time is dinner?” I inquire.
“Andi says to be there at six p.m. Go together?” she asks.
“Ya, meet me in the lobby at 5:45 p.m. I’ll drive.”
“Sounds good.”
Delaney
Delaney
Hey mom! Just got off the boat. I should be there in 30 minutes.
Mom
Sounds great! Can’t wait to hear about your cruise.
Riding in my Uber, I know I’m going to have to put on a face for my parents. My mother is going to ask me about the guy I was with when I texted her from Puerto Rico, and I just don’t have the energy to talk about it.
Today was supposed to look a lot different. I was going to get off the boat with Andrew, and we were going to have lunch and figure out how we were going to make a long-distance relationship work because we fell in love with each other. Yeah, that’s not happening. I was convinced that after last night, we were back on the same page. But after seeing that woman leave his room this morning, I guess I was dead wrong. He never came across as a player. Nothing in our conversations or his mannerisms led me to think he was. Of course, he’s gorgeous and could have his pick of women, but everything points to him being a really good guy. He’s not just some guy who sleeps around, but what I do know is that I’m the one sitting in an Uber by herself on her way to her parents’ house.
The driver, trying to score a tip and five-star rating, helps me with my bags in my parents’ driveway.
“Hey, Delaney,” I hear my mother call as she walks down the front steps.
“Hi, Mom,” I reply as she greets me with a hug.
You know, sometimes you don’t know what you need until you get it, and right now, my mother’s hug is exactly what I need. I feel sad, betrayed, and broken, and somehow, being in her arms makes me feel better. Even if for just a moment.
“Let’s get your things inside, I’ll put on some tea, and your father will be right down,” she says.
“Sound perfect. Thanks, Mom.”
The guest bedroom at my parents’ house is so different from my room growing up. My old room was kept the same as the day I left for college until my parents moved to Florida. The pink walls matched the bedding on my full-size white canopy bed. Medals, trophies, newspaper clippings, and pictures from competitions were plastered on the walls. The guest room in their new house has none of the memories from my youth, but it’s comfortable and has a queen-size bed.
For the most part, the story of my gymnastics career is boxed up in Rubbermaid containers in my Atlanta apartment. However, my most treasured accolade is framed in a shadow box on the mantel in the living room of my parent’s home. They sacrificed so much for me. It only made sense to give them my Olympic gold medal as a way of thanking them for their unwavering support.
I fall backward on the bed and stare at the ceiling. I really can’t believe how much has changed in the last twenty-four hours. Yesterday at this time, AJ and I had just finished another round of lovemaking and were making plans to meet at the pool. I told him I didn’t want to date other guys and thought he was the guy I was going to sail off into the sunset with, no pun intended. This just sucks!
I close my eyes, and the highlight reel of the past week runs through my head. Our excursions together, our conversations, the meals, his cooking, the outdoor shower, and all the other times he made me moan. This sucks!
“Tea is ready,” I hear from my mom downstairs.
I try to snap out of the fog I’m in, but the sheer disappointment of not having any real closure with AJ continues to weigh on me. I replayed our last interaction, standing in front of the elevators on the tenth floor last night. The last thing I said to him was, “We can talk tomorrow morning.” Well, this morning came and went when I saw a gorgeous crew member leaving his stateroom with a smile on her face.
I unpack my suitcase just as I did when I would come home from competitions, creating piles of dirty laundry on the floor that my mom will throw in the wash. I have no shame and will gladly allow my mother to treat me like the teenager I was years ago. I immediately recognize the bright yellow fabric in my hand and pause before sending it to a pile. I open the shirt only to see the familiar Ms. Pac-Man emblem looking right back at me. The last time I wore it was during our last spa night in his room. God, that was so good. I hold it tightly and then bring it closer to my face so I can smell it. I inhale, and like popcorn at the movies or fried dough at the county fair, the smell brings me right back to that time and place. I smell him. I feel his hands gliding over my naked body, and I have flashbacks of him making me his own.
“Delaney, tea is getting cold,” I hear Mom shout again.
“I’ll be right down,” I respond.
I bring the laundry basket downstairs, but the Ms. Pac-Man shirt doesn’t make this load. I put it under my pillow. Why? I have no fucking idea. It sounds like something a sixteen-year-old whose boyfriend just broke up with her would do when she finds his sweatshirt at her house and doesn’t want to return it.
“I can’t wait to hear all about your trip, and what’s up with the guy you were with in Puerto Rico?” my mother casually says, sitting at the kitchen table sipping on her tea.
I knew this was coming. I’ve been home for fifteen minutes, and the only thing my mother wants to talk about is the “guy I was with in Puerto Rico.”
I fell in love with a rich CEO who showed me new places, cooked for me, pleasured me six ways from Sunday, and turned out to be a complete asshole. I’ll probably have to modify that for my mother, but that’s, “What’s up with the guy I was with in Puerto Rico.”
I answer all her questions, and then, the dreaded question .
“Do you have a picture of this guy?” she asks.
I pull out my phone, knowing I have several. I stared at them last night and in my Uber this morning.
“Ohhhh, he’s attractive,” she says.
“Ok, Mom, let’s pump the brakes,” I retort.
“Do you have his number?”
“No.”
“What’s his name?”
“Andrew,” I respond.
“What does he do?” she asks as she raises her mug for another sip. It’s like I’m on a daytime talk show, and she’s digging for the deets.
“He’s a CEO.”
“That sounds pretty good to me,” I hear my dad’s voice coming from the other room.
My dad wanted no part of hearing about “the guy I was with in Puerto Rico” and decided to stay glued to his La-Z-Boy reading the Saturday paper while Mom interrogated me at the kitchen table.
My parents border on the Bennets from Pride and Prejudice . My mother isn’t nearly as annoying as Mrs. Bennet but does encourage marriage, financial stability, and kids at nearly every opportunity. It still makes me laugh that Jane Austen never gives us her first name. She’s only Mrs. Bennet. And my father, just like Mr. Bennet, remains aloof when it comes to his daughter’s dating life. He just wants me to be happy and gives my mother a hard time about how much she pushes her marital agenda.
“A CEO?” she repeats. “He must make a lot of money…”
Trying to determine if that was a statement or a question, “I’m sure he does well, Mom,” I respond, not wanting to go into his balance sheet.
“Sooo, what happened?” she pries.
“Mom, I really don’t want to talk about it. It started great, and then we crashed and burned.”
“I’m sure it wasn’t that bad,” she says.
“It was. End of story. What’s for dinner?”
“Ok, ok. Tell me about your trip. Where did you go? How was the food? How about the excursions?”
After a thirty-minute infomercial for Pinnacle Cruise Line, complete with pictures, I find myself back in my bed thinking about the past week. I reach into my bag to pull out my journal and headphones. I find a mellow playlist and hit play without even looking at the song. Fuck me! I want to hit stop but don’t or can’t. “Africa” by Toto hits differently today than it did a week ago. Regardless, I sit here on the edge of my bed listening to the very song he played for me the night we got caught in a rainstorm in Puerto Rico. It also happened to be the first time he let me wear his Ms. Pac-Man T-shirt .
I scooch back on the bed and start going through my bag. I pull out several magnets, each one bringing back very specific memories of where I was and who I was with. Thumbing through my journal, day one seems like a lifetime ago. Another page has folded pamphlets from the group excursions I was going to sign up for. Instead, I had a personal guide and private tours at each port. And then I find a stack of small note cards tucked in between the pages. I saved every card he sent with the flowers.
I lose track of time, reliving and rereading my journal entries. I laugh. I cry. I get mad. I get turned on. Damn this man! All of these emotions and feelings come rushing at me like the bulls in Pamplona. It occurs to me that this time last week was when Andrew was running into me, spilling cocktail sauce all over my shirt.
At the end of the day, it was by far the best cruise I’ve ever been on and the best vacation I’ve ever had. Up until the hot chick from the cruise line walked out of Andrew’s stateroom at 6:28 a.m. Yup, that’s when it went to shit. Kinda like, “Other than that, how did you enjoy the play, Mrs. Lincoln?”
I need to get my shit together and my emotions in check. I need to prepare my final report for Mr. Russo and present it to him later this week at his office here in Fort Lauderdale. I knew I was in trouble a couple of days ago when I realized that I hadn’t been to the spa and had taken only one official excursion.
Mr. Russo is expecting a detailed account of my experience, and I don’t have nearly enough material. Most of the dinners were with Andrew, and we never ate in the main dining room. I saw only one show and didn’t take part in any of the great activities, like the glass-blowing class or trivia night. My cruise crush not only crushed my heart, but he might end up crushing my career.
Andrew
As I stand in my kitchen, overlooking the city, I feel alone. I kept my emotions in check with Pieter, but Ally knew I was hurting. The apartment feels empty, but I fear it’s more me than the apartment. This is a new feeling, and I don’t like it.
Andi
Hey! Welcome back. Are you coming tonight?
Andrew
Tacos and margaritas? My two favorite love languages.
And i
I’m 100% certain that Gary Chapman didn’t include those in his book.
Andrew
Read it again…lol
Andi
Heard you had a tough morning. Sorry.
Andrew
News travels fast.
Andi
You had to know she was going to tell me. I’m really sorry.
Andrew
Moving on…
Andi
Ok…can’t wait to see you! Love you!
Andrew
Love you.
I collapse on the sofa, put my feet up on the ottoman, and find a comfortable spot for my head. The silence in the room is deafening. I need some noise. My phone is connected to the sound system throughout the apartment. I randomly hit play on one of my playlists.
Fuck me!
The familiar drumbeat hits me like a hammer. “Africa” has always been one of my favorite songs, but right now, all it does is bring back memories of DJ walking out of my bedroom wearing my Ms. Pac-Man T-shirt. Now that I’m thinking about it, I don’t remember packing that T-shirt this morning.
I let the song play because that’s what guys do. We play music that makes us think of our girlfriends. Past, present, and future.
I try to get her out of my head and can’t. This morning humbled me. I’ve never been on this side of a breakup. Sounds arrogant, I know, but it’s the truth. But more than that, I fell in love with her. My ego certainly took a hit, but my heart, shit, is broken .
I’ve got a couple of hours before we head to Andi’s for dinner. I do love me some tacos and margaritas. Andi adds just a little heat to the taco beef and mixes in just the right amount of cilantro to create the best taco in Fort Lauderdale.
I’m sure my father is going to pull me aside to talk about the conference call that created this entire mess with DJ. And why do I keep referring to her as DJ? Ally couldn’t even find her on the passenger list. Ugh…my head’s spinning, and I just need to breathe and chill.
I’m just going to relax and look forward to tonight. I hope that my sisters have kept the drama away from my parents. If they ever found out that I had met a girl and actually liked that girl, wedding invitations would be in the mail that afternoon.
Nap. Quick workout. Shower. Leave.
“Sorry we’re late,” Ally says, approaching the car.
I check my watch. They’re actually early.
“Ally, you’re five minutes early.”
“Oh. Okay. We got caught up in mail and calls this afternoon and lost track of time.”
We pull out of the complex and head to Andi’s house. It’s about fifteen to twenty minutes on the west side of Fort Lauderdale. She moved close to our parents so Mom could help with Gemma after Greg, her husband, died.
“What did you do this afternoon?” Ally asks.
“Crashed. Why is it that I always need a nap when I get off a ship? Then I worked out.”
“You okay?” she says, shifting gears.
“I’m fine. I really don’t want to talk about it. And I hope you and Andi haven’t shared anything with Mom and Dad,” I reply, looking at her for a signal…and there it is. She would be a lousy poker player. She always turns her head to the right when she doesn’t want to answer.
“Seriously?!” I exclaim as my head whips to the right to glare at her.
“I’m sorry. I was talking to Andi, and Mom overheard the conversation and jumped right in. Of course, we could’ve stopped, but…we only want you to be happy, AJ!”
“I appreciate that, but I’m really not in the mood to play twenty questions.”
“AJ, you had to know they would hear that you took a woman to Bella Vista?” she says in a “duh” kind of tone.
“Joseph is a traitor!”
“It’s fine.”
“Do they know about this morning?” I inquire so I’m aware of the conversations that have already happened behind my back.
There is an obvious pause.
“Ally?”
“I called Andi before we left the ship. She was in the kitchen making breakfast for Gemma.”
“Andddddd…”
“I told her what happened.”
“Ya, she texted me as soon as I got home.”
She turns her head to the right again.
“There’s more?”
“She had me on speaker, and Gemma heard everything. So did Mom. I’m so sorry! I had no idea she was there, and Andi didn’t give me a head’s up.”
“Awesome!” I say sarcastically.
“AJ, it’s going to be fine.”
For the first time during the car ride, I hear a snicker in the back seat. Marcus has been so quiet that I forgot he was even here.
“Seriously, bro?” I ask as I look at him in the rearview mirror.
“Sorry, amigo , I’m just going to play the role of wallflower and enjoy the show this evening,” he says.
He knows what I know. It’s very clear that this evening is going to be all about AJ’s cruise crush.
We pull into the driveway, and my parents’ black Mercedes is already there. I know it’s them because Dad had a vanity plate made, CRUZN67, representing the year my grandfather incorporated Pinnacle Cruise Line.
Gemma shoots out of the front door on a beeline to Ally and Marcus. She hasn’t seen them in a couple of months. Huge hugs and laughs are heard as Marcus picks her up and spins her. I have to say, the three of us have all developed our own unique relationships with her. We knew there would be an unfillable void when her dad died, but we’ve all been very intentional in building a strong bond with her.
Gemma jumps into my arms, and over her shoulder, I see the rest of the family gather on the front porch. More hugs and kisses are exchanged as we make our way inside.
Making my way down the long hallway to the kitchen, I psych myself up for what is about to transpire.
Andi walks over and gives me a hug, followed by my mother and, finally, my father. I hold my breath, waiting for someone to say something, but surprisingly, they don’t.
“AJ had his first call with the board the other day and did a fantastic job,” my father says, raising his glass in my direction.
“Thanks, Dad.”
“Did that jackass Flanigan give you a hard time?” my mother asks .
My mother is a silent assassin. Always behind the scenes, supportive but extremely protective of my father and her family. She knows the score and how to keep it.
“He’s always the one guy who would give your father a hard time,” she says.
My father and I catch each other smiling in agreement.
We’re all standing around Andi’s granite kitchen island, dipping chips in salsa, homemade guacamole, and cheese dip. Several different conversations are going on at the same time. Some are louder than others. Get my sisters together, and it’s hard to get a word in. My parents just smile, enjoying the whole family being together. It’s not a holiday, but getting us all in one location, even for just a dinner, is a big deal.
“So, heard you met someone on the ship?” I hear my father ask.
Every conversation stops. Spotlight on me.
“I was wondering who was going to jump in first.” I glance at my sisters, who are now huddled together, waiting for my reply.
“I did, and it didn’t work out,” I continue, hoping that’s enough and we can just move on to other topics of conversation.
“You took her to Bella Vista…” my mother chimes in. I can’t tell if it is a question or a statement.
Rolling my eyes again, I look at my sisters, who can’t get enough of this torture. It’s like a trainwreck you can’t avoid watching.
“Yes, ma’am,” I say, offering no additional details.
“You’ve never taken anyone there, Andrew,” my mother confirms. “She must have been special.”
“Okay, let’s just get this over with. I fell in love, and I thought we were going to meet this morning to figure out a way to make it work, but she didn’t show. I’m moving on, and so should everyone else.”
“Like in An Affair to Remember ,” my mother chimes in.
“Yes, and I’m playing the role of Cary Grant,” I respond.
“Ouch,” I hear from Andi.
“Can we go back to the part when you said you fell in love?” Ally asks, breaking her silence.
“Yeah, let’s dive deeper into that,” Andi stirs the pot.
It’s like a fucking congressional hearing, and all the senators are grilling the witness. I watch Marcus and Dad stand there, dipping their chips and enjoying the beatdown.
“Guys, can we please drop it? It didn’t work out. Can we move on?” I plead.
“AJ. Did you really fall in love?” my mother asks gently.
“I did. I know it sounds crazy, but we spent a lot of time together, and there was never any doubt in my head.”
“It took your father and me just eight days from first glance to the altar.”
“I know, Mom.”
“Then go find her,” she encourages .
“What actually happened?” Andi asks in a more concerned tone.
“That damn call with the board took hours. We were supposed to meet, and I was late.”
“Because of the call?” my father asks.
“Yeah. I thought it would be a thirty-minute call that lasted much longer than expected—or needed, for that matter.”
“AJ, you should have stopped it,” he says.
“Dad, it was my first call with the board, and I didn’t want that to be their first impression. I didn’t want them to think I was blowing them off because I had a date.”
“Then what happened?” Andi pries.
“I found her sitting at dinner by herself and tried to explain what happened.”
“Did she know you are the CEO of the cruise line?” my mother asks.
“No. When we met, we agreed not to discuss work or our professions.”
“Why?” she digs deeper.
“She requested, and I obliged. It sounded good at the time because I wanted someone to be interested in me, not Andrew, the CEO of Pinnacle.”
“So, she still has no idea what you do?” my father asks as he becomes fully invested in the conversation.
“I told her I was in the family business. Logistics.”
“Very clever, bro,” Marcus adds.
The rest of the family smiles.
“Regardless, I apologized and thought we had worked past the incident. We were supposed to meet this morning, but she didn’t show.”
“Maybe something came up?” Andi suggests.
“And you didn’t get her number?” Mom adds.
“Can’t you check the system and get her contact info?” Dad echoes.
“Ally checked and couldn’t find her.”
“What?” my dad snaps, surprised.
“She said her name was DJ, and there was no record of a DJ on the ship,” Ally reports.
“Don’t be ridiculous.” He sounds annoyed because of how much we’ve invested in the systems to keep accurate records for Pinnacle, US customs, and foreign ports. “Did you do a facial recognition?” he continues.
“Dad, I told Ally to let it go. She didn’t show up, and I honestly don’t want to continue going down this rabbit hole. I’m headed to Europe on Wednesday and need to focus on that trip.”
“Will you be back for the VIP cruise?” Ally inquires.
“Yes,” my father answers for me.
“Yes,” I confirm, nodding. “I’m thinking about making a side trip to Germany to pay our friend Hans a visit.”
“That’s a good idea, AJ,” Dad approves.
Andi’s tacos were amazing. Since we hadn’t all been together in a while, there was plenty to catch up, shifting the spotlight off me. I’m standing in the kitchen helping Andi clean plates, and she turns to me and asks, “Did you fall in love with her?”
I pause.
“No doubt about it. I’ve never been that comfortable with a woman in my life. I’m not saying that I want ‘easy,’ but we just fit. Sounds corny and crazy, I know, but at this point in my life, I know that she was exactly what I was looking for.”
She stops drying the plate and places her hand on mine. “Was or is? Have Ally do a little more digging. You know it won’t take more than thirty seconds to find her. Trust me, AJ, when you find your person, you have to do everything you can to keep them.”
Her words are raw. Greg died two years ago, and although Andi puts on a strong front, I know she thinks about him every day. She hasn’t entertained the idea of dating and remains focused on raising Gemma. There are moments like this, here at the sink doing dishes, that remind me of her loss. Never a pity party, just the authentic void she feels losing her best friend, partner in crime, and life partner.
I certainly can’t and won’t compare my feelings of emptiness and sadness to what Andi has experienced, but I do feel both empty and sad.
DJ made me realize that I was never fully vested in my other relationships. I wasn’t “all in.” With her, there was never a doubt. Our physical attraction was intense, but being able to connect with her on a deeper level made her even more attractive. I never questioned whether I was going to take her to Bella Vista, a place I had never taken anyone else. It just felt right and easy. Sharing stories about my grandparents, and places I had grown up, those are topics usually saved for a long-term relationship, not a cruise crush.
“I appreciate that, I really do. I just don’t want to feel this way again for a while. I need some time and going to Italy will give me some space. Besides that, my focus must be on my first hundred days as CEO, and there are going to be a lot of eyes on me, including Flanigan and the board.”
“Okay. I’m not going to push because I see how raw this is for you, but think about it.”
We share a hug and a tight squeeze that I so needed tonight. As much as I fretted about coming over, I needed my family. I needed this hug. I hurt.
“Thanks, Andi, I needed this,” I whisper into her ear.
“Anytime.”
“By the way, you slayed the guac tonight.”
“It was Gemma. She was in charge of the guacamole tonight.”
“No shit?”
“No shit. ”
“She killed it.”
“The force is strong with this one,” she says, and we both smile.
“Dad and I are getting ready to leave,” Mom announces as she walks into the kitchen.
We all gather back on the porch for hugs and goodbyes.
“When do you leave for Italy, AJ?” Ally asks.
“Two days. You headed to the office this week?”
“Yes,” she replies.
My sisters wrap their arms around each other and smile.
“Oh, shit! The twins are in the office at the same time? There’s nothing good that can come from that,” I state.
“What?! Us?” Andi says sarcastically.
“No dressing the same as you did to fool Mrs. Hudson in the tenth grade,” my father chimes in.
“We would never…” Ally barely gets out before laughing.
“Seriously, no swapping places in meetings. I feel like I need to send an internal memo notifying the office that the twins are both in the office and to be on guard.”
“So serious, Mr. CEO,” Andi mocks.
“Okay, okay, we need to go,” my father ends the sibling shenanigans.
Driving home, Ally asks, “How’s she doing?”
“She’s fine. She told me that when you find your person, you do everything to keep them.”
“She’s right,” she says, turning and looking at Marcus.
“Anything else?”
“Not really. She wanted me to push you to use our facial recognition program to find her.”
“You know I would.”
“I have no doubt, but like I told Andi, it’s too raw, and I need to focus on work right now.”
“I know you’re feeling a lot of pressure with the new position, the board, and the new ship, but life is too short to do it alone.”
“I’m not. I’ve got you guys.”
“You know what I mean.”
“I do, but it obviously wasn’t the right time or person. If it had been, she would have been sitting next to me tonight.”