Chapter 13
wildest nightmares
Liam
I make my way back home, not realizing I’d pushed more than three miles up the canyon road. I have no idea what time it is, and I left my sister alone with my… fiancée. She hasn’t agreed or anything, but…
Shit.
I push through the back door to find my brother coming inside from the front door with bags of take-out food, Ayla talking to Sophia as she nurses, and Lorien nowhere to be seen.
“She ran next door to make some brownies,” Ayla says, grabbing her phone and tapping something out. “I told her lunch was here.”
“She can’t bake.” I say quickly, pushing the air down with my hands. “Fair warning.”
“How bad could it be?” Cian asks.
My eyes go wide in that look that communicates to all who know me I’m not joking.
“Really? How can that be?” Ayla puts in.
We never finish the conversation, because a knock on the front door is followed closely by the woman in question, popping her head through. The rest of her body follows like a slinky.
“They’re still hot. Too hot to cut, but they should be ready after lunch. They’re my mom’s recipe.”
“Your mom’s a baker?” Ayla stands, adjusting something under the small blanket, and lifts Sophia onto her shoulder.
“A great one.” The voice drifts into the kitchen.
“Don’t encourage her.” My words are more of a quiet hiss than anything.
“Our mom considered store-bought cookies and cakes homemade. We never really baked.” Ayla grins widely at me as she follows my brother to the dining table.
“Just wait.” Payback’s a bitch, and I’ll laugh when my sister gets what’s coming to her.
Cian sets the cartons in the middle of the table. “Lorien, do you mind grabbing some plates while you’re in there?”
“What does everyone want to drink?” I ask as Ayla grabs silverware from the drawer.
We finally settle, pass around the feast that Cian bought, and dig in.
“So, when are we getting hitched?”
Lorien’s fork clatters to her plate.
“Rum balls. I— Uh…”
“William Jonathon Murphy.” My sister exclaims.
“Don’t you dare full name me, Ayla Murphy Barone.” That so doesn’t have the same effect.
“You sure you want this?” Cian motions with his fork to my side of the table.
“I’m sure I don’t.”
“Tough shit. I saved you. From rape or murder, or maybe even from a good dismembering. The way I see it, you owe me.”
“Ass.”
“Don’t forget it, sweetheart.” I stab whatever meat is on my plate and fork it into my mouth.
She’s right. I am being an ass. We’re in this together, but fuck.
“Fine.” I set my fork down and wipe my mouth with my napkin.
“I’ve thought this through. If they’re coming at us separately, it’ll be more costly for them, but that’s only because their attorneys think this is an open-and-shut case times two.
” I lift two fingers. “If they come at us as a unit, we have several things on our side. My behavior becomes more along the lines of self-defense. Your insurance might cover both of our actions.”
“Both. What do you suspect I did to warrant any of this?”
“You, dear Lorien, allowed the rabid dog into your house that attacked those innocent men as they carried boxes.”
“I most certainly did not.”
“But what will a jury believe?” Cian asks quietly.
“Here’s what I think,” I begin. “These are just my thoughts, so I’m open to what everyone else wants to put in.
You and I eloped after you began working with your realtor, but before you moved in.
It’s why you chose that unit. We need a date.
It can’t be too long ago because the certificate has to be filed in the next two and half to three weeks to be valid.
We planned to move into your unit and rent mine out on those short-term rental web sites to pay your mortgage. ”
“What about your mortgage?” Lorien sits taller in her chair, chin lifted, poking holes in my plan.
“I don’t have one.”
As if I deflated her balloon, she shrinks by two inches. All the while, my sister and brother’s gazes bore holes in me.
“Must be nice,” Cian says.
“I’m not complaining. As I was saying, we need a prenup.”
Her eyes blaze fire. “You think I’ll steal your what? Motorcycle?”
“I think you want to own your own home without someone else on the deed when this is all done. I think you don’t want the liability on my vehicles. It protects your home as much as it protects mine.”
“Fudge nuggets.” The word is quiet as she uses her fork to move food around on her plate, not ever taking a bite.
“Eat.” I use my utensils to gesture at her plate.
Lorien
“We can dissolve our legal union when this is all said and done. No harm, no foul.”
No harm, no foul? He can’t be serious, can he?
“How romantic.” Ayla pops her joined fists under her chin and bats her lashes at her brother. She turns to me and adds, “I’d apologize for him but at least you know who he is.”
The man in question levels her with his gaze.
“Fine. I love you more than words, but you could at least try to be nice about this. She’s in the same boat you are and doesn’t deserve your wrath any more than Sophia does.”
His face softens, and his eyes meet mine. “Sorry. I’ve never proposed before.”
I’m wrapped up in a warped alternate universe where my neighbor who grunts more than he speaks is proposing marriage.
“I don’t think you proposed so much as assumed marriage. While you’re planning your life and how I’ll be a pawn you can use and toss, I never agreed.”
“I like her,” Ayla stage-whispers to Liam.
Cian turns to me, “What are you thinking, Lorien? I can see how this makes sense for Li.” The man in question scoffs as his brother continues. “What makes this worth it to you?”
I don’t know. I’m not interested in marrying the oaf. The thought of seeing him in gray sweatpants while wearing his ring and not being able to touch him seems to be the ultimate torture, even more so than government paperwork.
“I have more questions that need to be answered before I consider whether this is worthy of consideration. One, where would we live? Two, are we allowed to date?”
The growl that comes from my could-be-fiancé is unexpected, and all eyes go his way.
“I’m sorry. Do my questions bother you?”
“No.”
“No, they don’t bother you?”
“No to dating other people. As to the first, wherever you’d prefer. I’d prefer it here. Your place might fit the narrative better. I’ll go where you want.” His brother and sister both react, but he keeps his eyes firmly on me. “Next question.”
“I won’t change my name. What will we tell people? What about my parents?”
He leans back. “Okay, and whatever you want, but the simpler the better. I’d go with ‘From the moment we met, there were sparks. Everything kept pulling us together. We couldn’t wait any longer and gave in.
’ As for your parents, they don’t need to know.
Do the things you need to. I keep a low profile. ”
There were sparks. We couldn’t wait any longer.
“How will we forge the documents? Is that legal?”
He leans back in his seat and gestures to the people on either side of us. “You’re looking at our witnesses.”
This is the weirdest conversation I’ve ever been a part of. Marry Liam Murphy?
Never in my wildest dreams. Maybe not in my wildest nightmares. The man barely tolerates me, and we’re supposed to live together?
My first marriage is a failure, and it hasn’t even begun. I squeeze my lips together and fight the giggle that wants to erupt. I choke and sputter but fail. Eventually it rips from my chest.
Cian and Ayla look confused.
Liam looks offended. “Was something I said funny?” His words are a growl. One I wish didn’t go straight to my lady bits.
“I never thought I’d plan my divorce before I said I do. You sure you can live with this? Live with me?”
He uses his fork to point at me. A little bit of food flings to the table. “Can you live with this?”
“I don’t know.” My voice is a whisper. I hold my finger up, spinning on all the things that have happened today, from being served to the proposal. This is the weirdest day of my life.
When it comes down to it, statistically speaking, more than half of marriages end in divorce, right?
So I’d get that out of the way. I could learn how to live with a man.
That kind of research and data would be invaluable, especially for someone like me.
I would have a grasp on the legal system and what it takes to be married and divorced.
Street smarts aren’t my strength, so I could call it a tutorial.
For educational purposes, this could be a good thing.
“On one condition.”
“What’s that?”
“I want a cat.”