Chapter 68 Fade Away
fade away
Lorien
“Where’d you go, Lolo?”
Everywhere. Nowhere. It’s May, a year to the day after my wedding certificate is dated and a month shy of the actual anniversary of signing papers over tacos at Cian and Sariah’s.
They moved. That island, where my life changed so drastically, is now mine. It’s not our forever home, but our two townhomes are rentals. Being landlords sucks. Having enough income we don’t have a mortgage on the new house sucks less.
Liam promises we’ll get our house further out eventually. For now, we have a home that is full of memories, walls full of Ayla’s photography, and an island commemorating our union. It’s also a place where he’s reminded me how good life with my husband is. In more ways than one.
Poe is as much trouble as she’s ever been. I can’t recount how many things she’s knocked from the countertops. My baking almost never happens anymore. She swats flour or sugar or any number of ingredients to the floor almost every time I preheat the oven.
I’ve complained to Liam until I’ve given up. It seems to amuse him more than annoy him and that, frankly, annoys me.
My husband changed in January. And it wasn’t a bad thing. Two things went down; both were good as far as we’re concerned.
One, we reversed strategy and sued the moving company and the men who attacked me.
The movers themselves were convicted and are serving time.
We got a settlement from the moving company that was pathetic for what I went through, but it paid off my student loans and put a little nest egg in the bank.
It also created enough bad press for the owner and his family that they boarded up shop and moved to Florida.
It might still be too close for Liam’s liking, but I’m good with it.
Secondly, Seamus was sentenced to thirty-five years in prison, no chance for parole or early release. His trial was quick. His guilt was never in question. It was simply a matter of how much time he’d get, not whether a jury would ever find him guilty. The evidence was overwhelming.
His kidnapping of me in order to get to my husband never came to light.
Nor has Briggs’ body.
Fitz moved to Texas and with him went the secrets of where that man rots.
I thought early on it would eat at me, the not knowing, but instead, it’s a relief.
He’s not a thought anymore. It was a bad day.
An extremely bad day that left me with broken ribs.
But by the time those healed, the nightmares had stopped.
I was free of him by the time the physical wounds were back to rights.
Come to think of it, Troy Smith was never heard of again after Fitz moved either. I don’t want to consider what that means, but I also can’t bring myself to care.
In celebration of Seamus’ incarceration, we had a party at Cian and Sariah’s new house. We drank until we sang and danced. I even convinced Liam to let me play Madonna. She brought us together after all.
We didn’t make it through two songs before all the men decided we’d had enough and changed it to yacht rock. No. Just no. We’re too young for that—I’m definitely too young for that—though they seemed to think it worked.
Apparently that night was for celebrating. In fact, they celebrated so hard, I’m the only one currently not pregnant. Convenient seeing as how I’m getting married today.
Sam, Sariah, Ayla, Renée, and Mirren are standing at my side. Christian, Cian, Ren, and Fitz are at Liam’s.
And Strider? He’s officiating. His official blessing on my ceremony. Yes, it’s unconventional, but everything about me and Liam is. Even if no one knows the full extent.
My brother is engaged. I never thought I’d live to see the day. His fiancée, Mirren Jones, blindsided us all in the best possible way, and I’m loving getting to know her.
His business trip this past fall became much more than that and Strider—who I wanted so desperately to survive—is thriving in Alabama of all places. It’s a great story.
“I’m here,” I offer my sister. I’m so here.
She rubs my shoulder. “I’m happy for you.
So very happy.” Her tone is genuine, and her spirit is settled.
That’s the best word for it. She and Billy are happy.
The clinical trial he’s participating in has been incredible and they seem content.
It’s as if the under-the-surface frantic swimming has given way to floating.
I turn to her. “Same, Sam. I’m so glad you have Billy.”
More so, I’m thrilled I have Liam. I’m a woman who gets to publicly declare my love for the man of my dreams. I get to walk toward him on my dad’s arm and choose the family I found, the family I fell into, just by moving next door to the grumpy man.
I’m a woman who, as of February, runs the auto-immune research lab that we’re calling the Nisha Project.
Dr. Patel is digging in from St. Louis as are his current doctoral candidates who elected to participate.
He’s coming out in July to be on site, to meet the man who gave me such a gift, and to visit.
We’re making faster strides than I knew possible.
And I’m the woman who managed to never have to touch the flash drive that’s still in that safe deposit box. No one knows. And it will stay that way.
Dad enters the bridal suite and stutters to a stop. “Wow. You look… Wow.”
Sam squeezes my hand and ushers the rest of the women out of the room, leaving me alone with my father.
He kisses my forehead and pulls back to hold my gaze.
“When you were little, you didn’t play dress up.
You didn’t play wedding or talk about what your big day would be.
I don’t remember Mom ever mentioning you drawing hearts or rainbows on your notebooks.
You were focused. You were determined. You were undeterred. ”
He takes my hands in his, squeezing the right one where my engagement ring currently sits.
“It fit you, and I was happy you weren’t spending your time trying to catch a boy’s eye.
You’ve accomplished everything you’ve set out to accomplish.
Not just your Bachelors, Masters, and Doctoral degrees, with ease.
You moved yourself across the country, created a research project that will change the trajectory of families like ours.
Incredible, Lo. What you’ve done is nothing short of incredible. ”
So why does he sound wistful?
“Thanks, Dad.”
“I want to finish,” he adds softly. “You’re talented, and I couldn’t be prouder.
But I could… Please choose to have some fun.
Choose a vacation even when you’re close in the lab.
Take the trip. Laugh with your friends. Life isn’t work.
Life is the moments in between with family.
It’s the quiet on the back porch with a Diet Coke.
It’s riding on the back of that ridiculous motorcycle.
With a helmet of course. Please don’t risk that brilliant mind.
It’s the time on the sofa when we can watch old movies and eat popcorn. Don’t forget, okay?”
“Okay, Dad.”
“And if that man ever for one moment—”
I put my hand to his lips.
“Never. I’m the most precious thing in his life. If for one moment, I get an inkling I’m not, I’ll remind him. Or I’ll remind myself what I deserve.”
“That’s my girl.”
“Of course I am.”
“I love you, Lorien. I’m thrilled you get such a great adventure.”
The doors pull wide, the light from the front of the church streaming through the colors of the stained-glass windows. My brother smiles from his place at the front, looking healthy and happy.
But when Liam steps to the end of the aisle, I see nothing but him.
My husband, the man I’m marrying again. Black suit, black shirt, black tie.
There are men beside him. Their silhouettes are there, but they’re out of focus as if Ayla took a photo of just Liam and made the rest fade away.
Light haloes him, and I watch him touch one eye as he bites his lips together.
He better not cry. He better not. I survived my dad’s speech. I survived our last year together. If he cries, I’ll cry, and that’s a no go.
I push one foot in front of another until I’m setting a pace my dad can’t help but laugh at.
So does Liam
So do the guests, and I could not care less.
So maybe I’m sprinting up the aisle. At least I’m not dragging my feet. At least I’m not questioning my decision.
I make it to his side with my dad in tow, a little out of breath, to watch him throw his head back and laugh. The whole church does.
“In a hurry?” he asks.
I shrug. “I couldn’t wait to be here, so sue me.”