Chapter Eight
Esther
It was a bad idea. I knew that even as I agreed to it, especially with Sofia’s suggestion echoing in my mind, but he was right—there were some advantages to be had. I just hoped they’d outweigh any possible repercussions.
If the radiant smile on his face was anything to go by, Theo didn’t share my reservations.
As we reached the door, he followed me out onto the driveway. “I’ll walk you home,” he said when I shot him a curious look.
“You know, it’s only twenty yards from your door to mine,” I pointed out.
He only hummed a little, the sound vibrating into the night air between us. I tried to hide the shiver that trembled up my spine, but he slanted a glance in my direction as we walked through the dark toward the guest house.
“So, I guess I’ll tell Sofia we’ll be there tomorrow?”
“Only if you’re okay with it, Esther.” He sounded so serious that I stopped walking to turn toward him. “I know I can be a little overenthusiastic at times, but seriously, if you don’t want to do this, I understand. I didn’t mean to pressure you into agreeing.”
I scowled at him. “Look, I said yes, and I meant it. If you’re going to second-guess me every ten seconds, fake dating isn’t going to work because I’ll be forced to fake break up with you or for real kick your ass.”
Theo’s startled laugh broke through the tension that had formed between us. His broad shoulders relaxed as his lips curved into a sheepish smile. “Sorry, sorry. I promise I will trust you to be honest with me about what you want and what you can handle.”
“Good,” I said, struggling to maintain my grumpy expression. He looked so earnest that I gave up after a few seconds. “Then I guess you’ll be a decent fake boyfriend.”
When we reached the door, Theo slipped his hands into his pockets. “It’ll be good for us both, Esther. I’m sure of it. And if anything goes haywire, you can punch me in the nuts.”
Choked laughter burst past my lips. “With that kind of guarantee, what could possibly go wrong?”
Under the light of the two lamps on either side of my front door, Theo’s hair shimmered with golden highlights.
Nothing Anita had told me about him could have prepared me for the reality that was Theo.
It wasn’t his handsome face. It wasn’t even that deep, honey smooth voice.
There was something so inherently good inside him, something so reassuring.
I hadn’t known him long enough to trust him, not really, and yet… I wanted to.
“Let me know the details for tomorrow. I’ll drive, if you’re comfortable with that,” he said after a minute, still smiling faintly.
I let myself enjoy the simple pleasure of it for another second, then nodded. “Give me your phone, I’ll add my number.”
Theo’s eyes brightened even further as he dug it out of his pocket and handed it over. I didn’t let myself think too hard about what that meant. When I passed it back, those long fingers brushed over mine, sending another shiver up my spine. Even in the chilly evening air, his hands were warm.
I fought the urge to grip that rough palm with my own, to let his warmth envelop me against the cold, and forced myself to push the door open instead. “Thank you for your help today, and for dinner.”
“You’re very welcome. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
With a nod, I closed the door behind me, but I couldn’t stop myself from leaning back against it as I tried to slow my whirling thoughts. Then, silently, I turned around and peeked through the peephole.
Theo had started turning as though to walk back to the main house, his hands tucked into his pockets again, but his head was tilted back as he gazed up at the night sky. Though his features were somewhat distorted by the tiny bubble of glass, his expression appeared utterly serene, almost blissful.
For longer than I cared to admit, I watched him with one eye, trying to soak up some of the peace he exuded. After he finally lowered his head, shook himself loose from whatever reverie he’d been lost in, and headed toward his parents’ house, I took a single step away from the door, then another.
“He’s only a man,” I whispered.
It wasn’t as fantastic a reassurance as I might have hoped.
Half a dozen times during the following day, I considered backing out of dinner with Sofia’s crew. My stomach had tied itself into knots so tight I thought I might vomit. By mid-afternoon, I was on the verge of hyperventilating.
My phone rang twice as I got dressed, each time from an unlisted number, but both calls ended without a word on the other end.
Before Theo arrived at half past five, I’d stress-baked two separate batches of brownies, frosted a dozen of my favorite Mississippi Mud cupcakes, and downed several antacids in an attempt to settle my stomach.
The guest house smelled amazing and I couldn’t even appreciate it in my current state of agitation.
Theo, however, looked like he was ready to propose marriage again when I opened the door for him.
“Sweet mother of Christ, what is that heavenly aroma?” he asked, closing his eyes on a deep inhalation. When he opened them, the radiant smile on his face slowly untangled the tension in my gut.
“Dessert,” I answered, taking the time to look him over.
Instead of his usual lumberjack chic, he wore dark pants and a gray dress shirt. His hair was still damp from a shower, curling around his collar, and I was fairly certain he’d trimmed his beard. I wondered if it was as silky as it looked.
“You look stunning, Esther.”
I flushed. “Thank you. You clean up pretty well yourself.”
Despite the frequent college outings Sofia dragged me to, eyes had always been drawn to her, not me. Even Steve had expressed his interest with restraint—after all, it wasn’t my body he wanted, but someone to subjugate. I wasn’t used to being scoped out or ogled.
Theo’s slow, appreciative perusal knocked the breath clear out of my lungs.
I’d chosen a black dress that flared from the waist to swish just above my knees, black tights, and low-heeled ankle boots.
The dress had long sleeves but a plunging neckline that revealed far more skin than anything else in my closet.
Theo didn’t let his gaze linger, though, just lifted it back to my face and smiled warmly.
I grabbed my coat from the hook by the door in a frantic attempt to keep from babbling.
“Ready?” he asked, offering his arm.
I nodded and slipped my hand through the crook of his elbow. “Ready as I’ll ever be.”
The temperature had been steadily dropping and the air smelled like that first frigid whiff of snow. I drew a deep breath, savoring the pristine newness of it, and Theo shot me an amused glance. In response, I shrugged and watched my breath crystallize in the night.
“I like the cold, is that a crime?”
Theo tilted his head back and forth, like he was considering it. “No, I just didn’t realize you were such a weirdo.”
I sputtered indignantly. “I am not a weirdo!”
He winked at me as he opened the passenger door of his pickup. “I suppose you’ll just have to prove it, Esther.”
“Hmph.” I bit back a smile when he climbed into the driver’s seat. “Remind me again why we’re doing this?”
One hand froze on the gear shift as he turned to look at me, his eyes glittering black in the darkness. I might appreciate certain aspects of winter, but the early sunsets were not among them. Theo seemed to be searching my expression for something.
“It’s not too late to change your mind,” he said finally.
When I opened my mouth to reiterate my threat from the previous evening, he held up his hand to stop me.
“I trust you to know what you want, Esther, but I’d hate for you to feel like you should do this just because logic says it will work in our favor.
We can show up as friends or neighbors or whatever makes you more comfortable, and I’ll tell them all to back the hell off.
I just want you to know I’ve got your back, however you want to proceed. ”
It shouldn’t have surprised me that a man raised by Anita and Lou would be as kind and perceptive as he was attractive. I nodded slowly as I let that observation sink in.
“Okay. I think we should stick to the plan.”
A slow smile curved his lips and, before I could react, he lifted his fingers to brush lightly over my cheek.
My skin heated under his fingertips and my brain stalled as I met his gaze.
There was nothing about him that reminded me of Steve.
Hell, there was nothing unsettling about him in the least, aside from the unexpected warmth I felt pooling in my belly when he looked at me with that faint smile tugging at his lips.
For the first time in a long time, I wanted.
I stared at him in shocked silence until he dropped his hand and said, “It’ll be great, Esther. You’ll see.”
I couldn’t match his confidence, but the lingering trails of warmth from his caress bloomed under my skin until I was grateful he couldn’t see me blushing in the dark. My reservations about this plan had been simple—now I wondered if there was a greater danger than the Spruce Hill gossip mill.
Under no circumstances could I allow myself to fall for this man. I could play the part, pretend to be casually dating the town’s prodigal son, but this farce had an end date. Theo had fled Spruce Hill almost twenty years ago and never looked back, not even to visit his amazing, loving parents.
If I let myself fall in love with him, even a little, it would end in the kind of heartache that had been blessedly absent upon my husband’s death.
No, falling in love was out of the question.