Chapter 25
Chapter Twenty-Five
Theo
Dinner was delicious, the company was wonderful, and I spent almost the entire evening counting down the minutes until I could return to Esther’s side. If Oliver’s wry smile was anything to go by, I didn’t do a very good job of pretending otherwise.
“If I didn’t know better, my friend, I would think you were falling for her,” he said, leaning back in his chair.
I groaned as I swallowed the last bite of the steak Julian had grilled to perfection. “Don’t say that.”
Julian slanted a look in Oliver’s direction. “Stop nagging him, Ollie.”
My oldest friend in the world stared straight into my eyes. “I love you, man, but you’re playing with fire here. Are you sure you’re going to be able to walk away from her?”
“I don’t know,” I said quietly, wishing I could reassure both of us here and now. “Everything feels different.”
“Serious, you mean?”
“Serious, life-changing, fulfilling in a way I’ve never experienced. What the hell am I going to do?” I asked him.
Oliver smirked before responding. “You’ve got a few weeks left to figure that out, man, and you know we’ll help in any way we can. I just don’t want you getting burned. Or Esther, for that matter. She’s been through a lot.”
“I know. I don’t want to hurt her.”
“Then don’t,” Oliver replied, shrugging like it was that simple.
“Ollie, I don’t do—”
He cut in. “Relationships? Commitment? Love?”
“Yes,” I ground out.
“Remind me why that is?” He propped his chin on his hand, staring at me like he had all the time in the world to psychoanalyze my love life.
“Bad shit happens when I get too involved, Oliver.”
He shook his head firmly, but his expression shifted to something dangerously close to pity. “Bad shit happened one time, man. It had nothing to do with your feelings for her or lack thereof, and everything to do with a single moment leading to an accident. Even that was not on you, Theo.”
He was wrong. If I’d ended that relationship when I realized my feelings had fizzled, Michelle wouldn’t have been there that night at all.
She definitely wouldn’t have been arranging some secret lovers’ rendezvous for us.
I closed my eyes for a second and turned my thoughts away from that night, away from the lesson I’d learned, and focused on the present.
“Esther’s whole world caved in on her,” I said quietly, “even before that bastard died. How do I make sure she’s okay when I leave? Fuck, I hate the thought of never seeing her again.”
None of us could answer that, but after a moment of silence, Julian spoke up. “Is there any chance of you changing your mind about leaving Spruce Hill in the rearview mirror?”
“I…don’t know. A week ago, I would’ve said absolutely not. Now? I don’t know.”
Oliver studied me for a beat, then said, “It was a long time ago, you know. Nobody blamed you.”
“I know at least one person who blamed me,” I replied, my voice low.
“Man, that is definitely not true. Not for the accident, anyway.”
“Just for everything that followed. Look, it doesn’t matter. I have a life, a business, and none of it is here. Esther has all those things too, firmly planted in Spruce Hill.”
“Have you talked to her to see if she’d consider leaving?” Ollie asked gently.
“No. Even if it lasted past the next month, I’m not asking her to follow me back home, to start all fucking over again, when we all know I’m not capable of offering anything long-term. She built this life for herself out of the ashes. I’m not messing that up for her.”
Julian set his hand on Ollie’s knee, shaking his head slightly when Oliver opened his mouth to reply, and said, “We’re here for you, no matter what. You have another month left, right? Just promise Ollie that you’ll be open to seeing where life leads, and I’ll keep him from nagging you.”
I snorted a laugh. “Deal.”
Conversation turned to other mutual friends and classmates, but they knew I was anxious to get home and finally shooed me out the door when I declined the offer of dessert. After I shrugged on my coat, Ollie reached out and set both hands on my shoulders.
“It’s great to have you back, man, even if it’s temporary.”
Though I rolled my eyes, I threw one arm around him and pounded on his back. “Yeah, yeah, cut the sentimental shit before I embarrass myself. Thanks for dinner, both of you. This was really nice.”
Julian grinned over Ollie’s shoulder. “Next time, we’ll plan it so Esther will join us.”
“Definitely,” I replied, but an odd weight settled in my chest. Whether it was for enjoying myself without her or guilt over the fact that I was still planning to walk away from her, I wasn’t sure.
I bid them both goodnight, forcing myself not to jog to the truck when I knew they were watching me from the front door, then raised a hand in farewell when I slid behind the wheel. Knowing Oliver was happy with the love of his life was a balm to the current chaos inside me.
Big, fat snowflakes had started to fall during the evening, giving the impression that all of Spruce Hill was tucked inside a snow globe.
I hadn’t missed any part of New York winters, but knowing how Esther liked the cold, I felt that same giddy, child-like excitement I remembered from my youth upon seeing the first snow of the season.
I parked in the driveway and studied the guest house for a long moment before getting out of the truck. With the snow drifting lazily from the sky, it looked like a gingerbread house, warm and inviting, with soft light glowing through the windows.
I bit back a grin as I wondered what I might find when I went inside—would she be bundled up in something cozy or enticingly sexy?
When I reached the door, though, I noticed a package sitting in front of it. The top of the box was covered in snow, hiding it from view until I got close. There were no footprints around it, so it must have been there for a while. I tucked it under my arm and rapped my knuckles on the door.
Esther threw it open quickly, but she ignored me to poke her head out past my shoulder and grin up at the sky. Her delight was contagious, and I was content to look over her attire as she expressed her appreciation.
Cozy was the verdict—fuzzy fleece pants and an oversized hoodie.
“It’s snowing!” she cried, dancing in place.
“That it is. Maybe we’ll get enough accumulation for a snowball fight tomorrow,” I teased. When her gaze landed on the box under my arm, I held it out to her. “This was outside the door.”
She frowned a little as she took it over to the table. “That’s weird,” she mused as she grabbed a pair of scissors to slice through the tape. “The mail came earlier and I wasn’t expecting any deliveries.”
“Christmas gift?” I suggested.
“Your mother is the only person who’s given me a Christmas gift in the past two years, and this doesn’t even have a return address—”
She broke off as she opened it, yanking her hands away from the package.
Adrenaline ripped through me like a tidal wave. I stepped between her and the box, expecting a decapitated animal or a hissing snake, but reality was even worse.
It was filled to the brim with peanuts and, bizarrely, a few scattered white lilies.
For a second, I could only stare, wondering who the hell would’ve left this on her doorstep.
“What the fuck?” I breathed as I slammed the cardboard flaps closed again.
Esther’s name and address were printed on the box as though for shipping, but there was no postage on it. Someone must have hand delivered it. She was still standing, frozen, a few feet away from me, her normally golden complexion now an ashy shade of gray.
“Esther, look at me,” I said gently, waiting until she lifted her eyes to meet mine.
“I’m going to get this out of here, then I’m going to call Rose.
Do you need to wash your hands? I’ll scrub off the table when I come back in.
Should I change my clothes? Shower? Tell me what we need to do to keep you safe. ”
My ignorance broke her out of her trance. “Normally, washing our hands and the table would be enough.”
“But this isn’t normal,” I replied.
“No. I guess to be safe, yes, we should both change. I don’t know who did this, but if they went this far, the whole box could be coated in residue. If it got on our skin and then into my eyes or mouth, it could cause a reaction. It’s happened to me before.”
I nodded. “Okay. Go wash your hands and get changed. I’m going to take care of this and run into the house to change my clothes. Do you want me to have Rose meet us here or at my place?”
She blinked, still looking a little numb. “Here is fine, I guess.”
“Why lilies?” I wondered aloud, glancing back at the box.
“I got those flowers,” she whispered. “The day I brought you dessert. It was a bouquet of lilies.”
“Right. Okay. I’ll be back as quick as I can.”
I waited until she nodded, her expression blank, before I moved.
However badly I wanted to wrap her up in my arms, I didn’t want to risk causing some kind of reaction after handling the package.
Instead, I yanked a long string of paper towels from the roll by the sink and used them to lift the box while she started washing her hands with dish soap.
I took it into the garage, wrapped it in a clear trash bag, and ran into the house to clean myself up before touching my phone to call Rose.
Impatience vibrated through my veins as I retraced my steps through the house, wiping down the surfaces I’d touched before I could wash my hands.
I did the same to Esther’s front door, inside and out, then scrubbed down the table while she stood in the doorway, fidgeting nervously with the hem of the fresh sweater she’d pulled on.
“I don’t understand,” she whispered when I tossed the last paper towel into the trash can.
I washed my hands again, then finally yanked her into my arms. She clung so tightly that I could barely draw a deep breath, but I wouldn’t let go for anything in the world. We stayed like that until the doorbell rang, heralding the arrival of the police.