Chapter 32
Chapter Thirty-Two
Esther
When I awoke on Sunday morning, I felt strangely detached, almost disconnected from reality. A showdown with my parents had definitely not been on my mental bingo card of strange occurrences this holiday season.
Of course, a few weeks ago, sleeping with Anita’s eldest son hadn’t been on the list, either.
We spent the day in a bubble of contentment, aside from the brief intermission when Theo went outside to talk to Chief Roberts about the photos.
Given the realistic impression those pictures gave of my naked body, even if it wasn’t actually mine, I was grateful to be allowed to skip that particular conversation.
The week started off blissfully uneventful, as well.
Christmas was only ten days away and we received our first invitation to a holiday family dinner from Sofia on Monday evening.
She was sweet and completely unsurprised when we declined, especially because she’d heard about my parents showing up at the house.
That night, another four inches of snow fell over the town like a blanket of pristine white.
After breakfast, Theo went into the mudroom and returned with a pair of brand new snow pants in my exact size. He tossed them to me with a mischievous grin, saying, “Time for that snowball fight. Winner picks tonight’s movie.”
“You’re on,” I taunted as I pulled them on.
It had been a very, very long time since I’d last worn snow pants, but the swishing sound the fabric made as I walked over to where Theo knelt before a bin of hats and gloves was like an echo of childhood.
“Your little mittens are adorable, but they’re not going to cut it. Try these on,” he said, passing me a pair of stiff gray gloves.
I let him help me like a toddler getting ready to go sledding, trying to remember the last time someone zipped my coat or tucked my hair under a warm hat. He must’ve seen it in my face, because once I was bundled up, he kissed the tip of my nose and offered a tender smile.
“You look precious,” he said.
“Well, enjoy it while it lasts. I doubt you’ll find me so precious when I’m pelting your ass with snowballs.”
His laughter rang out in the small entryway, bright and joyous, and I watched him get decked out in similar fashion.
When he was ready, we clomped across the newfallen snow on the driveway and headed for the back of the yard, behind the guest house.
There were drifts up to my knees, but Theo caught me every time I stumbled.
As I slanted a suspicious glance in his direction, he grinned and said, “I’m not going to annihilate you until the fight has officially begun, my sweet.”
I snorted. “I’m not the one who’s been going soft down south for years. We’ll just see who annihilates who.”
Despite my bravado, I was fairly certain he’d be kicking my ass.
I had spent too much time admiring the sleek muscles of his arms and back to doubt he could best me in a physical battle.
As a child, I’d actually hated snowball fights—my older sister liked to end them quickly by nailing me in the face with hard-packed snow—but I trusted Theo to be careful with me.
Unlike the rest of the world, he’d never been anything but careful with me.
We squared off from opposite sides of the yard. When he shouted, “Go!” I ran for the sparse trees at the back of the property, figuring I’d need some cover to help me. Theo didn’t run at all, just dropped to his knees and started building ammunition.
Half an hour in, I was laughing so hard that my snowballs were ridiculously subpar, even if my aim was better than I expected. At least, it seemed like it, until I tried to nail him in the stomach and ended up hitting him right in the balls.
With a dramatic groan, he clutched his groin and fell onto his side in a snowbank. “Esther,” he moaned, peeking from one eyelid to see my reaction. “How could you do this to me?”
Chastened but highly suspicious, I edged closer to him, my gaze locked on his hands. “Poor dear. Do you surrender?”
“Of course. Come help me up, you little monster.”
It was a trap. I knew it, but I still couldn’t resist. Slowly, I approached, watching in case he made a move to suddenly chuck a snowball at me.
By the time I was only two feet away, his hands were still cupped around his purportedly injured anatomy, so I decided I was probably safe enough.
With a pathetic moan, he held out one hand for me to help him to his feet.
I clasped it and immediately recognized my mistake.
He yanked me forward so I landed perpendicularly across his stomach. Though I yelped, his thick jacket and the snow beneath us cushioned my fall. Now that I was immobilized by his arms, one across my back and the other behind my knees, he flopped onto his back.
“I can’t believe you fell for that,” he said, still breathless from my landing.
“You fight dirty.”
One of his hands stroked over my ass, padded though it was by the snow pants. “Dirty sounds good right about now, doesn’t it?”
I propped myself up on my elbows and said, “I thought you were mortally wounded. Now you want to get frisky? You’ve got balls of solid rock, Long John.”
We stumbled to our feet, pink-cheeked with the cold, and trudged through the snow to reach the driveway.
The whole way, Theo whispered naughty promises into my ear, but when we clambered over the plowed pile of snow at the edge of the concrete, he stopped so suddenly I tripped over him and would have landed face first on the driveway if he hadn’t managed to catch my elbow at the last second.
I hissed an expletive before peeking around him to see what he was looking at.
Alex was slipping something under the front door of the guest house.
I started to smile at him, but Theo lunged forward, grabbing his brother by the front of his coat. “What the hell are you doing here?”
“Jesus, Theo, I was just leaving something for Esther,” Alex said as he shoved his brother off him.
Theo reared back. “It was you?” he bit out. “You’re behind all these fucking pranks?”
“What?”
“Theo, no,” I said, grabbing his arm. “It’s not him. Alex wouldn’t do that.”
“You two are friends now?” He glanced at me, his expression shifting so quickly I couldn’t get a grasp on it. “Jesus, have you been friends all along?”
I opened my mouth—to say what, I had no idea—but Alex beat me to it. “Yes, we’re friends. It’s a recent development.”
I flinched, but he wasn’t wrong.
Though I expected Theo to yank his arm free and go after Alex again, he went utterly still instead. “You always thought I’d stolen Michelle from you. You decided you could return the favor to get back at me?”
Now I was the one who jerked as if he’d slapped me. He shrugged off my hand, his gaze traveling between us, growing colder than the air biting at my cheeks. In that terrible moment, I barely recognized him.
“What are you saying?” I whispered.
He only shook his head and turned away, like he couldn’t bear to look at me, and I was suddenly transported back to the soulless condo I’d shared with my husband, to a life of alternating silence and screaming rage.
God, I felt like I was going to be sick.
I stumbled away from Theo’s side, my boots sliding across an unsalted patch of ice at the edge of the driveway. Alex stepped forward to help me, but I gave a tiny shake of my head, so he dropped his hand to his side.
“I have to go,” I said numbly as I hurried toward the guest house.
Memories bombarded me, nuances of expression and tone that had ruled my entire life for those years with Steve, drowning out the sound of Theo calling my name.
Behind me, Alex said, “What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“Are you trying to save her from me?” Theo’s hoarse demand cracked through the night like a whip. “To take her from me?”
Too much. It was all too much.
I needed to escape, to burn away the suffocating emotions clawing their way up my throat. Between the clunky boots and all the layers of snow gear, I couldn’t move fast enough.
“She’s a human being, you asshole, not some contest to win. You think the second you turned your back, I swooped in to seduce her? For fuck’s sake, man. Even if you think that little of me, I can’t believe you’d think that of her,” Alex continued, his voice vibrating with rage on my behalf.
Even that was more than I could bear.
I’d left a backpack of clothes at the main house, along with my spare EpiPen, but I sure as hell wasn’t going back in there with Theo right now. God, I couldn’t even stand to look back toward the two of them, squaring off at the edge of the driveway.
It took me impossibly long to tear off my gloves and fumble through my pocket for my key, but I finally got the door open, went inside, and slammed it behind me.
There on the floor lay a red envelope with my name written in scrolling silver marker. I picked it up and slid my finger under the flap, more for something to do with my hands than because I was desperate to know what was inside.
It was one of those photo collage cards from Alex’s girlfriend, Isabelle, featuring pictures of herself and her toddler, plus one of Alex with his arms wrapped around them both. On the back, she’d added a handwritten note, thanking me again for answering her allergy questions via email.
A choked laugh tore from my throat. All this drama over a silly Christmas card.
I set it aside, peeled off my layers of soaked outerwear, and flung them all to the floor.
The curtains were blessedly closed, so I didn’t have to risk looking out at the two men who were probably still standing outside arguing.
I started the electric teakettle on my countertop and then dropped down into a chair, covering my face with my hands.
Forty-eight hours. Theo had been gone for two days, and he thought I’d cheated on him with his brother during that time?
I hadn’t even moved that fast with Theo.
Or did he think we’d been conspiring against him all along, whispering behind his back?
I would’ve laughed if I hadn’t been so close to tears.
I heard a truck engine start and then slowly fade to silence, presumably as Alex got the hell away from his brother’s Jekyll and Hyde act. A few seconds later, there was a soft knock at the door. I let my hands fall but didn’t stand.
“Esther, I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry,” Theo called.
To his credit, he sounded so utterly ashamed of himself that I almost wavered and opened the door for him.
Then another surge of nausea swept over me as I remembered him turning his face away, like he couldn’t bear to look at me.
I fled to the bedroom where I could no longer hear his apologies and sat at the edge of the bed, but memories of him haunted me until I wanted to weep.
My chest felt hollow, like my heart had been carved from my body and the gaping hole filled with sawdust. I stared down at my hands, clenched together in my lap, and waited until the kettle started whistling to force myself to stand.
When I returned to the kitchen, I put a bag of herbal tea in a mug, poured the water to steep, and finally went over to the front door. Through the peephole, I saw Theo’s profile, his head hanging down in abject misery.
If I spoke to him right now, I would hurt him.
I wanted to lash out, to cause him the same pain that streaked through me, twisting my insides into knots.
I would say something cruel, because I was still horrified that he would think so little of me when I’d already started tipping over the edge into the dangerous territory of loving him.
I pressed my fist to my mouth to stifle a sob as I backed slowly away from the door, away from the sight of him.
Who was I kidding? I was already in love with Theo Silver.