Sixteen
Max
When I saw Amber with Harker, all rational thought fled my body and I was left with insane images of beating him to a pulp in the middle of the street.
I’d parked further up the road and had been searching for my keys to the main gate when I saw them. Amber had messaged me earlier to say she’d locked up for Wes who was still off sick, but I needed to fetch some plans.
It was Thursday and I’d been at the docks having met with an estate agent to put the useless warehouses I’d purchased back on the market.
As I rounded the corner, there they were.
Amber stood before him like a tiny doll as he towered over her like an apparition from my worst nightmare. I knew exactly who he was as I’d researched the fucker online. There weren’t many pictures of him, Jonny had done well keeping the matter out of the press but I’d found two. There was a before and after shot and it annoyed me that prison had not aged him like it did most people. You also couldn’t get a feel for his size in the shots; in person, he was big but not as big as me.
If it hadn’t been for the fact that Dexter was sitting so close in the car, poised to end the fucker if he did anything wrong, I would have walked over there and lamped him.
Why was she even giving him the time of day and what was he saying? Please take me back . He had a nerve. The fury running through my veins was almost painful like the liquid was acid instead of blood.
My blood had boiled as I’d watched Harker get handsy with Amber. Luckily, Dexter was out of the car instantly. I held back, keeping myself out of sight. After flashing his gun, Dexter escorted Amber back to the car. Harker wasn’t happy about her leaving, his entire body stiffened and his hands fisted by his sides. I knew a pissed-off male when I saw one.
Once the car pulled away from the curb, Harker walked towards the Thames. Maybe he’d do us all a favour and chuck himself in there. I wanted to follow and give him a warning of my own.
How did he even know where Amber worked?
Strike that, what if she’d arranged to meet the fucker?
The emotions running riot inside me were like torture. I kept checking my phone, wondering when Amber would message me to tell me he’d made contact.
After letting myself in through the main gates, I jogged to my office and collected the plans I had intended to work on that night. I felt my phone vibrate and relief pooled into me.
Making my way back to my car, I checked for messages from Amber.
Fucking nothing . Just two missed calls from Gabe. I was back to being ghosted again. My palms itched to pound her backside for lying to me. How I’d love to see that adorable shade of pink her arse cheeks had turned that second time I’d spanked her.
All night I stewed and on Friday morning she called in sick. That pissed me off even more as it meant I couldn’t confront her. We had come so far and she was closing off again. What if Amber wanted to get back with him? We hadn’t said we were exclusive or even together for that matter. To be honest, we hadn’t talked about what we were doing at all. Maybe she thought it was just physical. That thought pissed me off even more.
You have feelings for her. You want her to need you.
I caved and sent her a message to encourage her to tell me something about seeing him, even though she had no idea I knew he had turned up.
Sorry to hear you’re ill. How are you feeling? Do you want me to get you anything ?
No. It’s just cramps. Nothing exciting.
Is everything OK? I messaged.
Yes, fine x.
Amber was keeping his visit from me. Why? I felt wounded . She was pushing buttons I never knew I had.
The rest of our conversation followed the same pattern. She said nothing about Harker and I contemplated calling Dexter to ask him what the prick had wanted.
After what felt like the shittest day ever, I arranged to meet my friend Adam at Aquarius. I needed to smoke and drink and try and forget that Amber was yet again hiding shit from me.
At the club, the night just went from bad to worse. Leonie Smith appeared on stage dancing in a corset and stockings. What the actual hell? I thought she’d left and was working at Felice’s. I toyed with not getting involved as Gabriel was still singing the same bullshit that nothing was going on between them. But I knew I had a duty to my friends. To both Gabe and Leonie. She had no business being up on stage and so scantily dressed wiggling her arse for all and sunder.
So, I called Gabe and he went ape shit on me. He was driving and sounded like he’d crashed his Range Rover. The one his driver Marco usually drove.
To cut a long story short, Gabriel came into the club like the proverbial possessive boyfriend who had just been told that his girlfriend was working in a strip club. He’d stormed over to the stage before I could stop him. Leonie had been in the middle of her number and boy, she looked hot. I had never seen my best friend looking so furious. I remembered the time I’d twatted him for saying my eyelashes were girly and had almost broken his nose, that expression was tame in comparison.
As two of the bouncers started to draw towards him, I knew I had a job to do. Gabe needed back up and I had always been the muscle of our friends. I sure hoped he hadn’t brought his fucking gun .
Gabriel threw Leonie over his shoulder and all hell broke loose. I’d only grabbed one of the bouncers by the back of the neck to have a brief word, maybe slide him a twenty to walk away, but he’d turned around and hit me in the face.
After seeing Amber with that prick, Harker and her not telling me about it uncaged my monster and I plucked up an empty beer bottle and crashed it down on the guy's head. This sprayed beer over a couple of women who in turn leapt to their feet, one throwing herself onto my back.
A full-on fight ensued. It was like those scraps you saw on American TV with chairs and stuff flying around. I lost track of who was fighting who at one point, throwing my fists this way and that, attempting not to hit any of the women who were also brawling like street rats.
Eventually, the police arrived and a few of us were taken into custody.
I spent what felt like the longest night locked up, without my phone or my wallet, stewing about what was happening with Amber.
*****
In the morning once I had sobered up, I was given my phone and wallet back and some documents that I had to sign. Something about damage to the club and details of the charges and I felt like a teenage hooligan. I was a grown man and had ended up fighting like a stupid youth.
My mouth was as dry as fuck as I left the police station at Charing Cross. I’d sent numerous messages to Amber to ask if she’d pick me up, I needed to see her and know she wasn’t with that fucker.
I was about to call an Uber when my phone vibrated. Thankfully it wasn’t Gabriel, I didn’t want him to know I’d been arrested as he’d take the piss out of me for months. It was Natalie. I toyed with the idea of not answering. She’d tried me several times when I’d been at the charity ball with Amber. It was almost like she hadn’t got the message about me ending things that day.
I answered and did the pussy thing by asking her to pick me up. She was only too eager. I felt like a dick for using her but I’d have to wait ages for an Uber, it was Saturday morning in London and gridlocked.
It took her a while in traffic but eventually, Natalie arrived. She climbed out of her Peugeot 208. It was a tiny car. Would I even fit in there?
Her eyes lit up as she approached me. I noticed she’d dressed up and my heart sank. Did she imagine I would go back to hers after we’d agreed to call it quits? She was probably feeling needy as Gabriel wouldn’t have been calling her anymore due to his interest in Leonie.
“My you look rough,” she said, wrapping her arms around my neck and standing on her tiptoes. Natalie placed her lips against mine and my hands automatically dropped to her waist to hold her but I kept my mouth closed.
Natalie ran her tongue over my lips to gain entry and I felt nothing, no spark like before. As politely as I could I drew back and looked down at her.
“Thanks for the lift. But that’s all it is Nat, I thought we’d agreed,” I said softly, holding her away with my fingers on her hips. To anyone else, we may look like two lovers talking, but that couldn’t have been further from the truth. Natalie was nothing to me now. Don’t get me wrong, if she ever needed my help I’d be there like a shot. I could be her friend but nothing else.
“Are you sure, we could make a stop off, just one last time?” she pouted and I smiled. She would make some man a great girlfriend one day.
As she lowered herself onto her feet again and slid her arms from my shoulders, I caught a flash of the figure of a woman standing in front of a black car over Natalie’s shoulder.
FUCK! My stomach bottomed out and I pushed Natalie away, feeling as guilty as fuck .
Amber must have gotten my messages and had come to pick me up. She was standing next to her car with the door open and a shocked expression on her face.
She looked between Natalie and me before a cocktail of feelings fluttered over her perfect features. She wore a long Burberry belted mack and brown leather boots and looked as hot as fuck. Her hair spilt over her shoulders like liquid fire and her eyes flashed from shock to hurt to anger. I knew what she was thinking but she was wrong.
I went to move around Natalie, thoughts of her gone. Fuck! Amber had seen me kiss Natalie or should I say, Natalie kiss me but from that angle, it would have looked sincere.
“Amber,” I shouted as I set off at a jog, moving down the steps to the pavement.
There was nothing I could do as Amber turned and climbed back into the car, clearly instructing Dexter to drive off.
Running the rest of the way, I made to grab the handle as the car pulled away but it wouldn’t open, so I banged on the blackout out window.
“Amber, please. You’ve got it wrong. It isn’t what you think.”
The car pulled into the traffic, taking the woman I now knew I cared about with it.
Shit. It hit me like a freight train. I had feelings for Amber. Massively so and the thought that I may have lost the little I had with her was sudden agony.
Fuck, no!
As Natalie appeared by my side I couldn’t think straight. I had to speak to Amber andexplain. Surely it was fixable? The veins in my neck started to throb as tension coiled through me.
That one night to sink my sorrows over the thought of Amber pulling away from me had now helped meto do exactly that .
“Shit, who was that? She looked pissed,” Natalie said unhelpfully as we both watched the car filter into the busy traffic.
“That was my everything Nat, and now I’ve fucked it up, again,” I explained.
Releasing a deep sigh. “So that’s why you ended things. You’re in love with that girl.”
And it hit me again. The full truth and extent of my feelings towards Amber-Leigh Swift.
“Yes. I think I am,” I said, confirming it out loud.
Natalie moved to stand in front of me which drew my attention. “Come on then. Get in. You can tell me all about it on the way to your place. As friends.”
“Thanks, Nat. That would be good.”
As we drove to my apartment, I offloaded how I felt, to the point that I realised how closed off I had been with my emotions in the past.
It had taken one infuriating female to break down my barriers and get under my skin and I knew at that point that I wanted Amber on any terms.
Amber
I hadn’t a clue who Max had been kissing but the pain I had felt when I’d seen his hands slide to her waist. What the hell? Why would he be kissing a girl on the steps to the police station when he’d messaged me to pick him up? Was it a set-up so he could end things? Wave another woman in front of me to show me he didn’t give a crap about me.
My first impression of him wouldn’t have put it past him. Max had been acting so odd recently. Asking mundane questions about if I was doing OK. He’d felt more like my therapist than my boyfriend. Strike that, where the fuck did that come from?
Dexter had also witnessed him kissing someone else and I could see from his body language that he was unsettled .
I managed to hold back my tears as anger started to brew in my chest. That lying bastard. Were there even any warehouse docks? That seemed to be his go-to place over the last couple of weeks. Maybe he had been shagging that girl there. I wouldn’t put him past him, how fucking tacky.
My blood boiled and after around an hour, we pulled in through the gates to my house. I had obviously put too much faith in the male of the species. They just couldn’t be trusted. Women should have been spoon-fed that shit since birth to allow us to protect ourselves.
Staring at my phone, I found it rich that I still hadn’t received a message from him. An apology, anything . Max was probably shagging that woman somewhere. I was jealous. I wanted to tear her shit brown hair from her head and gouge her eyes out.
As Dexter held the door open, I thanked him and set off walking across the yard to my house. The horse paddock was in use as one of the grooms was exercising my horses. I toyed with going for a ride to blow thoughts of Max with another woman from my head.
As I got to the door, Teresa appeared.
“Oh, hello Miss. I must say. Whoever he is, he’s keen,” she said with a huge smile. My brow scrunched.
“Sorry, what do you mean?” Had Max beat us to my house and was in my lobby waiting to explain. Hope soared into my chest and I moved around her with a smile and opened the main doors to themansion.
And my heart stalled.
In the lobby beneath my mother’s painting, there were red roses. There must have been well over one hundred blooms. Huge bouquets were placed along the sideboards, some on the floor and part way up the stairs. The sweet smell from the petals hit the air, almost choking me.
Wait. There was no way Max would have been able to arrange a delivery that large so soon .
It was quite overwhelming and over the top. And after the initial surprise of seeing them there, a sense of doom set in.
They were not from Max.
“There’s a card,” Teresa chuckled, taking my silence as shocked pleasure.
I took it from her with shaking fingers and moved away, passing the flowers, and heading towards my father’s study. Teresa forgotten. Daddy wasn’t there.
I lowered myself onto the chair I had sat in when I’d first started to open up about my mother to Max. The original portrait of her hung just above me; almost like she was waiting for me to read the card.
Opening the envelope, I withdrew it and stared at the bold handwriting and my heart sank.
He hadn’t gotten the message.
Nothing can ever be over between us freckles. I love you and I know you still love me and if you need time to realise that. I will give you that space.
For now.
Forever yours, Z x
A sick feeling churned throughmy gut as I lowered the card and walked back to the lobby which resembled a florist shop. The flowers now felt like a monstrous, sick display of affection. Obsessively so. This wasn’t a show of romance, it was a gesture of twisted infatuation. I couldn’t even take a single flower to my room, it felt like they were tainting my house.
I gave clear instructions that the blooms were to be removed before my father came home. If he had seen them, there’d be questions and he’d be upset.
When I got to my room, I thought about calling Mia but knew she’d only panic and shoot her mouth off .
A sensation of being watched fell over me and I moved to close my curtains. Our house was in the middle of nowhere and so I knew that sensation was based on the contact from Zander.
Screwing up the card, I sat on my bed and checked my phone. It had been on silent and I’d had fifteen missed calls from Max.
I swiped the screen and saw he’d also messaged me.
Please answer the phone Amber, it wasn’t what you think.
I paused, wondering what to say. I needed time to lick my wounds. I decided reverse psychology was the way to protect myself. Make him think you don’t give a shit.
Don’t worry. It’s not like we’re together anyway. I pointed out, hating the way my heart ached as I typed.
Don’t do that.
Do what? I fired back.
Act like you don’t care. Nothing is going on with Natalie, not since you . Max messaged. Ah, so it was the annoying Natalie. That confession pissed me off even more.
My phone started ringing and I ended the call without answering.
If you don’t answer me, I’m coming over.
Do what you want. I won’t be here. I thumbed in. Let him sweat a bit.
What does that mean? Where are you going? You know it isn’t safe.
I keyed in, Nothing to do with you. If you can keep secrets, so can I.
That’s rich. I know you’ve been with Harker.
My brow scrunched. What?
I saw you with him outside work. Why didn’t you tell me?
I held my breath. So, he’s seen us together. That would explain his strange messages. I wondered if he’d been with Natalie to get back at me.
Pushing that thought from the back of my mind I messaged him .
There wasn’t any point. So, what? I spoke with him. You didn’t see me with my tongue down his throat. I knew my messages proved how jealous I was. And if I was jealous, it meant I cared about him and Max would know that. But the fact that he was so desperate to explain what I thought I saw proved he had to care for me too right?
A lump the size of London formed in my throat. Hell, relationships, or whatever we were playing at was draining my lifeforce.
Seeing Max kissing another woman on top of Zander’s creepy behaviour was too much and I had to get away for a few nights. I messaged Mia and asked if I could stay with her for a few days and she replied with a yes and a party-faced emoji.
After I had messaged Mia, I saw Max had sent more texts. Please, let me come and see you to explain.
I need some time to get my head straight.
Today was a misunderstanding. It’s you I want.
Rolling my eyes, I messaged. Yeah right. You mean my body.
His next message gave me hope. For a change, it was there in black print on my phone. No, I want you. ALL of you.
Just give me a few days to clear my head. Then we will talk.
Where are you going? If you don’t tell me, I’ll find you and then there will be hell to pay. Max messaged. They say you can’t read a tone from a text message but aggression bounced out of that one. It gave me a thrill, I’m not going to lie.
I’m going to stay with Mia . I explained so he didn’t worry or hunt me down.
What about my thirtieth? Will you be back for drinks? I want to introduce you to my friends. Why would I do that if I only care about your body ?
Maybe you want to show me off as your latest trophy. I look good on your arm remember? I messaged, throwing what he’d said to me when he’d invited me to the charity ball back in his face.
You’ll look better under me. Max shot back and that cocky arrogance of his annoyed me like it used to.
Under the circumstances of what I saw tonight. Go fuck yourself. I shot back. What part of giving me time to clear my head did he not understand? Again, it was all on Max’s terms.
Fine, be that way. You know where I am. Just don’t miss me too much.
Don’t worry, I won’t. I shot back feeling childish but not being able to help myself. I was lying of course but I managed to leave it there and Max did not come back with anything else. We were at a standoff. Neither of us was the type to beg. Although, I enjoyed the effort he was making. It was like he was fighting for me, for us , when so much shit was stacked against it.
Shaking off the mixed feelings racing through me, I packed a bag, called my father to tell him my plans and arranged for Dexter to take me to Mia’s.
When I got to her house, I unleashed my feelings and thoughts about Max and Mia did what any best friend does, she listened . I kept Zander’s persistence to myself for the time being.
He would eventually get bored and move on. That’s what I told myself anyway.
At that point, I wasn’t aware of how wrong I was.