25. Adore You
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
adore you
ABI
EMERALD BAY, WASHINGTON
ONE YEAR AGO
I thought double dates were supposed to be fun.
You go out for dinner or a movie with another couple, and hopefully walk away with new friends. But this? This is the worst fucking double date I’ve ever been on, and it’s all Logan’s fault.
Him and his stupidly handsome face.
It started when I met Chuck at Déjà Brew last week. Our coffee orders accidentally got mixed up, we got to chatting, and crazy enough I found out he teaches chemistry. I thought he was cute, and he obviously thought the same because he asked me if I wanted to go out for dinner this weekend.
Perfect.
I figured I’d take a chance on love for once.
After all, what could possibly go wrong?
When I texted Logan about the date, he told me he was planning on going to dinner with Ashley that same night. She’d been managing Déjà Brew pretty much the entire time we’d been frequenting it, but he never made a move. In the end, what it took was spilling his coffee all over his laptop; when she offered to make him a new drink her phone number was etched onto the cup.
Classic.
Anything that got him back in the dating pool had to be a good thing.
Anyway, we figured since we all met over different sets of tiny catastrophes at the coffee shop, it would be an easy thing to bond over.
And it was! it was a great plan!
Except that the only bonding that’s been going on all evening is between Chuck and Ashley; somehow both Logan and I ended up as third-wheels on our own dates.
It started sometime around when the appetizers got here, when Chuck mentioned that he used to tour with a bunch of rock stars when he was younger. Aerosmith, Pink Floyd, Fleetwood Mac, those were the ones he was most proud of.
I have to admit, it was a cool little factoid, but looking at how Ashley reacted you’d have thought it was the greatest thing she had ever heard in her life. Now it’s only half an hour later and they’re already a little too friendly, taking bites of food off of each other’s plates and laughing at the stupidest jokes.
“Oh my God, stop!” Ashley giggles, leaning over and touching Chuck’s forearm.
“Hey, it’s true! I’d never lie to a pretty lady!”
“You were not a roadie for The Rolling Stones! There’s no way, they’re like my favorite band!”
“I was!” He laughs. “I swear. I’ve got the VIP passes and everything at home. I could show you if you don’t believe me!”
“That is so cool,” Ashley gushes, artfully ignoring the little hint he left for her.
I swallow the bile that’s creeping up my throat while Logan and I exchange an enthusiastic roll of the eyes before he picks up his phone. He looks good tonight, his sandy hair neatly combed off to the side and those retro half-frame glasses that I adore on him. He’s toned down the Halloween look, at least a little, opting instead to dress like he stepped right off the set of Mad Men with a black dress shirt, a purple cardigan, and a matching tie. His watch is too big for his wrist, so he wears it on the outside of his shirt sleeve. He told me it used to belong to his dad. I still find it endearing that he’s never bothered to get it resized.
Logan flicks his head toward his phone and I frown, confused for a moment before I realize what he’s asking. I pull my own phone carefully out of my purse, putting it on my lap and flicking over to our chat history.
SUNSHINE
She told me her favorite band was N*SYNC.
I want to laugh, but it’s hard given the situation. I really liked Chuck and now he’s totally into someone else… but maybe I can still fix this.
I turn to him, ready with a perfect question to get him talking to me again, only to find he’s actually shifted his body completely away from me. I clench my teeth, and my cheeks heat up with humiliation; it’s like they’ve formed their own little fort just for them.
No Abi’s allowed.
My phone buzzes in my lap and I glance down, a little irritated.
SUNSHINE
Bathroom?
No! I mouth, trying my best to look unamused.
Logan rolls his eyes, tapping away on his phone while I glance back over at Chuck and Ashley. They’re sharing food, leaning in so closely they may as well be feeding it to each other.
Another buzz.
SUNSHINE
Come on, we gotta come up with a game plan.
Ugh. He just won’t stop.
ME
It’s going to look super weird!
SUNSHINE
Oh, please, they’re so into each other they aren’t even paying attention to us.
I glare at him and he grins. He knows I know he’s right.
SUNSHINE
They’re playing footsies under the table.
I roll my eyes, shaking my head at him. There’s no way they’re that brazen.
His grin widens, and he flicks his head ever so slightly, daring me to look under the table. I sigh. I may as well give him what he wants. At the very least it might make him lay off a little bit, until I can figure out how to get back in the driver’s seat in this situation.
I lean back in my chair and glance down, trying to remain somewhat inconspicuous. Ashley’s high heel lays discarded on the ground, and any hope that I might have had in regard to the evening is out the window. I watch her while she massages Chuck’s calf with the ball of her foot, holding back the urge to gag.
I give Logan a look he’s seen too many times: half astounded, half offended. How can two people be so blissfully unaware of the fact that their dates are sitting right next to them? And I mean, if they are aware? That’s worse!
It’s just rude.
Logan motions toward the back of the restaurant where the bathrooms are located, and at this point I know there’s no way I’m getting out of this. I set my napkin down, slip out of my seat, and quietly excuse myself. I’m not angry that they’re into each other, I’m angry that I feel cast aside. It’s embarrassing to know you’re not wanted.
“Abi!” Logan’s sharp whisper catches me off guard and he grasps my wrist, spinning me around just before we reach the bathrooms.
I scowl at him but he just smiles back. Logan Flynn is the King of laughing off humiliation. I, on the other hand, am not.
He takes off his glasses and cleans them on his tie.
“Are you okay?”
“No.” I think my scowl is going to become permanent at this point. “This sucks, it’s not funny, and it’s your fault!”
“My fault? How is this my fault?”
“That guy’s a hottie, Logan, and I really liked him! He’s barely said a word to me since your coffee shop girl floated in here!”
“Hey, look, it’s not like I did it on purpose! Besides, she’s clearly not my coffee shop girl anymore. I’m pretty sure she’s ten minutes away from dry humping him in his seat.”
Logan flashes me a dazzling smile. If he weren’t so handsome, I’d want to smack it off him.
“Did you see him turn his whole chair away from me?!” I ask. “I look away for 30 seconds and he’s locked them into their own little zone. It’s not fair, I never even had a chance!”
“Yeah, I saw it,” Logan chuckles as he puts his glasses back on, pushing his hair out of his face.
“God, of course the first time I try dating since Brendan it’s a complete disaster.”
He glances down at me, grinning from ear to ear. It’s not smug, and there’s no hurt in his eyes. He’s probably psyched that he has someone to commiserate with, but I don’t want to commiserate. I want to get laid.
He reaches down, sliding his fingers beneath my chin. My heart thunders, and I’m not quite sure why.
“Come on, Abi. If you can’t laugh at this, when can you laugh?”
“They’re going to sleep together and I’m gonna be sleeping with a hangover, all alone,” I grumble. “And don’t you forget, neither of us can go to that coffee shop again! Imagine how humiliating it would be!”
“Abi, I’m not embarrassed, and you shouldn’t be either. So what if you run into one of them again? You barely know each other. Don’t let something like this ruin your best coffee spot.”
Logan’s never embarrassed, and I’ve always admired that about him. He says humiliation is a useless emotion that keeps us from being our authentic selves. Not that I disagree, but knowing something and acting on it are two completely different things.
“You’re right.”
I hate that he’s right.
“I mean, we both know I’m always right, but listen: they’re clearly having way more fun than we are, and I for one am not interested in watching them escalate to sucking face for the next hour. How about we pay for our dinner up front and just leave them be?” He boops me on the nose. “I’ll take you to The Eclipse. They’re doing a 10pm screening of Friday the 13th.”
“I don’t know,” I sigh.
It sounds better than suffering through this. I could lie to Chuck; tell him I feel sick or something and Logan has to take me to the ER.
No, that’s too dramatic. But we can’t just?—
I rise up onto my tiptoes, shifting back and forth until I manage to get a clean sightline to the table. Chuck is on his feet, glancing around carefully as he helps Ashley with her coat before tossing some cash down.
“Looks like Chuck and Ashley have the same idea.”
“This is hilarious,” Logan snickers, leaning in behind me as we both watch them walk toward the front door.
“It’s not hilarious! They might be saddling us with the bill! I don’t think he put down enough cash.”
Logan cuts me off, grasping my shoulders, his expression soft and sweet.
“I’ll cover whatever’s left, okay? Then we go to see that movie and have a nice rest of the evening. We should salvage this night instead of being bummed out about it.”
A deep sigh escapes my lips and I stare at the space where Chuck and Ashley used to be. It’s not the worst idea, and I could definitely go for a blood-soaked palate cleanser.
Logan’s phone chimes and he snorts.
“What? What is it?”
He flashes me the text, head tilted playfully as I squint through the screen’s glow.
“It’s Ashley. She said, and I quote: ‘hey, I had a great time, but I don’t think this is going to work out.’”
I check my phone and sure enough, there’s one from my date as well.
CHUCK
Had a great time, but I just don’t think we’re a match. You and Logan seem really into each other. Figured I didn’t stand a chance.
I stare up at Logan in total disbelief.
“Into each other?! You and me?”
“Calm down, Shortcake. He doesn’t know us that well, and probably reads our friendship as something more than it is.” He gives me another shrug. “It happens, right?”
Are Logan and I putting out the wrong signals? I mean, sure, we see each other every day at work… and most days after work. But that’s just for a bit, little walks or coffee or whatever. We’re not even that close! Well, we are, but just— not in that way.
We set up our hardline boundaries, and we’ve stuck to them.
We’re friends. Nothing more, and nothing less.
“Ugh! This is so shitty!”
“Story of my life,” he chuckles. “But come on, it’s not so bad. At least we have each other.”
He reaches over to ruffle my hair, but I swat his hand away.
“Watch it! These curls weren’t easy to get!” I duck out of his reach when he tries it again, doing my best to stay serious. “Logan, cut it out!”
Of course, I’m failing miserably, my growing grin is impossible to hide. He just knows how to get me in a good mood, no matter how glum I’m feeling.
“Well, I can’t deny I’ve done some serious damage to your delicate curls. How about I buy you dessert as an apology? They have an amazing double fudge raspberry cake, if I remember correctly.”
Logan knows chocolate is my weakness. He knows all of my weaknesses.
“Come on, let me make it up to you. Please?”
He’s tilted his head in that sad little way he always does, flashing me those puppy dog eyes. I hate when men know how cute they are.
“I think that look you give should be illegal in all fifty states,” I grumble.
“You know what? I agree, but I’d be a fool not to use it before they lock me up, right?!”
I roll my eyes for what feels like the umpteenth time tonight, and we make our way back to our table. Our food’s cold, but it was expensive, so we both wordlessly decide to dig back in. Logan glances up at me as he stabs at his potatoes.
“Really though, you have to admit this whole thing was really funny.”
“You’re such a child!” I grin, opening my mouth and sticking out my tongue, revealing a mountain of chewed food. “I bet you think that’s funny too, right?”
He grins.
“Hysterical.”
Dating always feels like putting on a mask, one that’s simultaneously calm and cool, but that’s also silently screaming please like me over and over.
It’s a huge relief to know I don’t have to do that around Logan.
“I was about to clear those,” our waitress chuckles as she approaches, a few beads of sweat evident on her forehead. “I thought you guys dined and dashed.”
“No, our dates just ditched us,” Logan replies, taking a massive bite of his salmon.
“Sure, tell everyone,” I mutter.
“I’ll cover all of this,” he adds, as if he didn’t hear me at all. “Oh, and could we get two of those double fudge chocolate cakes to go?”
“Sure thing,” she replies.
“Logan, I’m paying for my meal.”
“Nope.” He turns to the waitress, who’s working on clearing the other plates. “Miss, this is a matter of life and death. Do not split that bill.”
The server shoots him a cute little smile before she heads off, and I glower at Logan. He’s far too generous for his own good, especially where I’m concerned.
“Alright, you win but at least let me tip.”
“They already left a tip,” Logan replies, motioning to the pile of cash.
“Logan—”
“Look.” He dabs at his mouth with a napkin and reaches for my hand. “You seemed really bummed out about Chuck, and I don’t want this to ruin your night, okay? Let me fix it.”
I sigh.
Let me fix it.
That’s Logan Flynn in a nutshell. Always jumping in to lend a hand, always trying to make the best out of a bad situation. I don’t know where he got his eternal optimism, but I can’t deny it’s saved me from a few spirals since I’ve met him.
“Okay. Alright. You know what? I’m gonna buy you coffee tomorrow morning. You have to let me do that, at the very least.”
“Coffee? My drug of choice? You’ve got yourself a deal, Shortcake.”
We finish dinner and Logan pays as promised, refusing to show me the bill, and leaving a substantial tip of his own before we head out toward The Eclipse Theatre. The air smells fresh, and there’s a slight chill to it, enough to make me shiver after a couple blocks.
“Here,” Logan murmurs, sliding out of his jacket and draping it across my shoulders. “You’re freezing.”
It smells like his cologne, sweet yet spicy.
Kind of like him.
“Won’t you be cold?”
“I’m from New York. Cold, cold winters. I’m pretty used to it by now.”
“You know, I think Blackburn is colder than New York. I bet you couldn’t handle it up there.”
“Oh, yeah?” He asks, recognition of a challenge sparkling in his eyes.
“Minus 40 in the winter. We’d have to walk to school in three feet of snow.”
He whistles and smirks at me.
“Uphill both ways?”
“You’re such a little shit,” I giggle, bumping him with my shoulder.
“Nah, you adore me.”
If things had been different, or if I’d gotten a job in a different department, we could have given this a shot.
We’d be so good together.
We walk in silence, and I link my pinky finger with his.
Logan smiles down at me, giving it a little squeeze.
He’s right, I do adore him.
And I always will.