50. Matilda
CHAPTER FIFTY
matilda
ABI
EMERALD BAY UNIVERSITY
PRESENT DAY
I stand in front of Dr. Paxton’s office, the croissant I ate this morning bubbling away in my stomach. I think all this anxiety has given me a gluten intolerance.
On the drive back to Emerald Bay, Logan and I did mock interviews where we covered everything . By the end of it, I was completely exhausted, but it was extremely effective; I’ve never been more prepared for an interview in my life.
Just outside of the door, a moment before I get up the courage to knock, I’m startled by a buzzing in my pocket. I immediately whip out my phone to check the message, in a maneuver that’s absolutely not just an excuse to avoid the meeting as long as possible.
SUNSHINE
Hey, I’m thinking we could do dinner Friday? The Orchid?
I almost drop my phone. The Orchid is one of Emerald Bay’s best and fanciest restaurants. Tucked on the edge of town, it’s got massive windows that overlook the water, and the entire place is lit by nothing but candlelight.
ME
Logan, that place is really pricey.
SUNSHINE
Yeah, and it’s my first official night out with my girlfriend that wasn’t a double date from hell, so it’ll be worth every penny.
ME
Maybe we can go to the Eclipse afterward and make out in the back row.
SUNSHINE
You’re a genius, Shortcake! PS. I’ll be on campus soon, just finishing up my meeting with that guy from Oxford University Press. Maybe we can do lunch?
Before I can reply the office door swings open, and I’m staring directly at Allister’s willowy frame, barely filling the doorway. He’s got thinning black hair, tortoiseshell glasses, and he’s dressed more like a surfer than an anthropologist, with Hawaiian shorts and a bright yellow polo shirt.
“Oh!” He laughs. “Hello there! You must be Dr. King!”
“Yes.” I blush. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to lurk outside your office like a weirdo, I was about to knock, and?—”
“Dr. King, we’re all ‘weirdos’ in this line of work,” he chuckles. “Now please, come in.”
I quickly shoot Logan a text to confirm our lunch date before stepping inside, bracing myself for one of the most important meetings of my life. Once I’m in the room though, I’m quickly taken aback by my surroundings. Allister’s office reminds me of the setting from a nondescript Sherlock Holmes story: dark wood with rich crimson furniture, tall shelves lined with books, and the faintest hint of tobacco lingering in the air.
If he told me he was an amateur detective, I wouldn’t doubt him for a second.
“I can’t tell you how sorry I am for the mixup with the interview,” he says, taking a seat in his big leather chair. “I didn’t even realize I’d scheduled it for New Zealand time, and, well… I’m not so good at the whole modern technology thing. A pen and paper is just as good as a computer in my books, and at the very least, it’s much easier to catch your mistakes.”
“Oh, it’s really not a problem,” I chuckle. “I just appreciate you making the time to reschedule.”
“Happy to, happy to! Especially for someone with such an impressive CV.”
He smiles, and I beam at the compliment.
He grabs a large legal pad and a pen from a side-table, and I can feel the butterflies start to return as he gets settled. This time, though, I’m not going to let it get to me. I run through every single thing Logan and I rehearsed: focus on my accomplishments and my goals. Make clear statements, and let him know my own expectations for the position. Most important of all, I’ve got to sell it, that version of myself I know exists deep down inside.
I’m getting this job.
I know I am.
For the first time in months, I feel like a weight has been lifted off of me. Even if the worst happens and I don’t get this job? I’ll be okay. I’ll figure out a way to stay here.
“You got this,” I whisper to myself, whipping out my phone.
ME
Interview went great. I find out if I got the job on Friday.
I head back up to my office so that I can grab my sneakers. These heels I borrowed from Imogen are murdering my feet, even if they’re bright pink and absolutely adorable.
I tough it out as I walk down the hall, trying to put the interview behind me. Right now, I’ve got a whole new problem to tackle.
Telling the truth.
All of it.
Ever since Logan and I decided to make this leap, I’ve felt this nagging presence clawing at the back of my neck. I told him I was doing it today, and even though he offered to be there with me, I think it’s best I have this conversation alone.
When I walk by Frankie’s office I’m a little surprised to find his door is slightly ajar, but I stop in my tracks when I hear the unmistakable sound of Logan’s laughter. This makes things a little awkward.
“Alright, I’ll submit that paperwork today, Frankie!”
The door swings open, and he almost smashes into me as he flies out of the room. He’s in a pale purple dress shirt, a blue tie, and the cutest little sweater vest with tiny ghosts embroidered on it. After a moment of catching himself before impact, he beams at me.
“Hey! I got your text. You wanna go out for lunch to celebrate your interview? I just cleared my credit card, so we can get as fancy as you want.”
Frankie appears in the doorway, leaning up against it with a twinkle in his eye.
“That sounds— wait, hold up. You said you had that meeting with that Oxford Press guy.”
“I did,” he replies. “It went awesome! But hey, I’m just gonna grab my jacket. I’ll meet you outside your office when everything’s done?”
I see Frankie’s smile grow behind him, and that familiar knot starts to form in the pit of my stomach.
They’re up to something, I can feel it.
“Y— yeah.” I nod. “Sure.”
Logan tosses me a wink before sauntering down the hall, whistling as he goes, leaving me staring at Frankie who quickly motions for me to come inside with a nod.
“Got time for a quick chat?”
“Actually, I was just on my way to see you.”
I decide to sit on the sofa rather than my usual spot in front of his deck. There’s something about that chair that’s always made me feel like I just got called into the principal’s office, and I’m already working with a heavy disadvantage from all the anxiety.
“You want a drink?” He asks, heading for the mini bar he keeps tucked just behind a bookshelf.
“Frankie… It’s 11:45.”
“So?” He scoffs. “If people drink mimosas at brunch, I can drink whatever I want whenever the hell this is.”
He seems oddly relaxed, especially for being at work. Frankie’s absolutely a chill guy, but when he’s here, he does his best to toe the line between ‘Friend’ and ‘Hardass Department Head.’ No matter how supportive he’s been in the past, this isn’t his normal work demeanor. Something definitely went down between him and Logan.
“So, how’d the interview go?” He asks, handing me a glass of whiskey before settling into his chair.
“It was good! He’s going to be in touch next week, but I feel good about it. Even if I don’t get the job, I think Dr. Paxton and I really connected.”
“That’s fucking awesome, Abi. I’m really proud of you.”
He leans forward, holding his glass out for a toast, and I follow suit. Both of us drink in silence for a moment, but after that little break he pushes his drink to the side and puts on his serious face.
“Okay, I’m gonna come right out with it. I have a proposition for you, Abi. Logan’s going on sabbatical starting Monday. I don’t know how much he’s told you, but he’s going to be gone for about a year to write, get some research done, and hopefully scrounge up some more money for all of us back here in the department.”
He didn’t talk to me about this at all. I didn’t even know he’d been considering it.
“That aside though, he… told me what happened on your trip.”
“I see…”
I’m a little shocked, but this is his relationship too, which means it’s his truth to tell as much as it is mine.
“Yes, but most importantly he told me… well, he told me he’s in love with you.”
“Oh, god,” I whisper.
The whisky and the croissant from earlier aren’t mixing particularly well with this chain of bombshells.
“It’s—” Frankie laughs, moving to sit next to me on the couch. “Abi, chill out. You look like you’re going to puke.”
“I feel like I’m gonna puke,” I murmur.
He doesn’t look surprised, or concerned, or anything like that.
He looks like he’s been expecting this.
“Abi, come on, you think I would’ve offered you a drink if I called you in here to give you shit?”
“I dunno, Frankie, I figure it might soften the whole you’re fired thing. It’s not the worst idea.”
Frankie shakes his head, smiling at me.
“So, I’ve looked into it. Sure, your postdoc position means things are a little murkier than I’d like, but you’re not a student and he’s not your advisor.” He swipes a hand through his hair. “To tell you the truth, I’ve never really dealt with anything like this before, but we’ll treat it the same way we would if two professors in the same department started dating. One of you is going to have to leave.”
“I know,” I breathe. “I mean, that’s what I expected. It’s why I’m really hoping to get this new job.”
“ And it’s why Logan’s taking that sabbatical. We talked it through, and what I’d like to propose is that you teach his ethics and methodology courses, at least until January when you start your new position in the anthropology department.”
“You mean if I start?—”
“Abi, come on. Positive thinking, remember?”
“Right, no, thank you! But, I don’t know… those are some big shoes to fill.”
Logan built those courses from the ground up. They’re incredible, ever-changing, and the assignments are tailor-made to give the students practical research experience. He’s always said the best way to hone your skills is to get your hands dirty, instead of just reading about things in books.
“Hey, you’re the one who said it. But you’re not wrong, he’s literally got clown feet.”
I burst out laughing as Frankie takes a sip of his drink.
It’s a good deal, and even if I don’t get the other job, there’ll be something else around the corner for me. In the meantime, this gets me more experience, and more importantly, a steady paycheck.
“I really thought you’d be mad.”
“Abi, I’m gonna be honest… that guy has been in love with you for years . I think you’d have to be blind not to see it.” I feel my cheeks start to heat up, but he only shrugs. “I’m actually surprised this didn’t happen earlier.”
“I mean… technically we hooked up before I even got the job.”
This new freedom to actually be honest for once is pretty addictive, to the point where, apparently, I’m just telling him everything.
“Yeah, back in Toronto, right?”
I frown.
“Wait, how did you know?”
Frankie nods, his grin growing wider.
“I’d love to say I figured it out myself, but Logan told me that part too. I also want to say I can’t believe I didn’t recognize you, but I had my tongue down someone’s throat for most of that night. Far as my memory goes I never saw a single other soul.”
I can feel my body fully relax, all of that pent up anxiety and tension from the last few weeks melting away into nothing.
“You promise you’re not mad?”
“This isn’t like the situation with Roman and Imogen. Sure, you two could have disclosed a bit earlier, but honestly it sounds like there wasn’t much of anything to disclose until your little vacation. In the end, there’s no major ethics breach, just some workplace awkwardness.”
He chuckles to himself, rattling his knuckles against his glass.
“You know, when he said you guys were going on a road trip, I have to admit I spent more than a little time looking for loopholes in some of the university’s policies; I had a sneaking suspicion that something like this was going to happen.”
“God, it’s starting to sound like we were the only ones who didn’t.”
“Nah, it’s not like that. It’s more that it seems like you’ve known each other for decades. People don’t have those kinds of connections often, so it’s hard to ignore. Besides, if there’s anything that dealing with Roman and Imogen taught me, it’s that you can’t really stop stuff like this.”
“We tried to fight it,” I mutter.
“Looks like it wasn’t worth it, huh?”
Frankie wraps an arm around me, hugging me tight against his side, and I can’t help but laugh as I think back to that moment of manifesting, way back at the falls.
Show me how good it gets.
“Not at all.”