53. Fully, Completely
CHAPTER FIFTY-THREE
fully, completely
LOGAN
HALLOWEEN
ONE YEAR LATER
For a day that’s supposed to be about me and Abi, we haven’t really seen each other, and it feels more like preparing for a circus rather than a wedding ceremony. I’m running around, making sure everything’s okay, answering questions I have zero authority over, all while thinking… I just want to see the woman I’m going to marry.
Between the bachelor and bachelorette parties and each of our mothers’ insistence that it’s bad luck to see the bride before the wedding, we’ve been away from each other for far too long.
Okay, three days. But I miss her . She’s always there when I wake up in the morning and she’s the last person I talk to before my head hits the pillow. You get used to that kind of consistency, and with her in the house, it hasn’t felt so empty anymore.
I’m sitting on an old stone bench outside the church. The air is crisp, the sun shines down through the golden leaves making everything glow. Even the little birds who have stuck around are chirping non-stop.
I glance down, popping open the small red box in my hands.
Dad’s cufflinks.
Well, they were his dad’s, his grandfather’s, and his grandfather’s before–
You get the picture.
They’re simple, gold with a diamond trim, and he used to wear them for every special occasion. I really wanted him to be a part of the ceremony, and these cufflinks are a good place to start.
I slip his watch off of my wrist, the part of him I’ve worn for so long, placing it safely away in my pocket. I think it’s time to finally get it re-sized, maybe once we make it to Ireland.
I expected to cry more today, to feel that pang in my chest at the fact that he’s not around to share this big moment, but… those feelings never came. Instead, it feels like he could be here, watching the chaos unfold and dolling out marriage advice.
You two should be a unit, but still be able to stand on your own… and for fuck’s sake learn to do the dishes.
It turns out that whole dishes thing? Way more serious than I thought.
I fold my cuffs back, pinching the fabric together before securing the first cufflink, and admiring the way it glitters in the sunlight.
“I finally did it, old man.” I glance up at the sky with a big smile. “Got a house, fell in love, I’m getting married … the whole shebang.”
Calm settles over me, and somewhere deep inside, I know that he knows I’m okay.
“Logan?” Roman calls, interrupting my brief moment alone.
He’s dressed in a charcoal grey tuxedo, his salt and pepper hair pushed back. The guy looks like he’s about to walk the red carpet.
“I’m fine, dude.” I smile at him. “I just need a minute.”
“Oh, I know.” He grins. “I, uh… broke the rules for you.”
I frown as Roman steps back, revealing Abi in her long violet wedding dress. It was white when she bought it, but she spent days dyeing it the perfect shade of purple to contrast her olive eyes. Her hair is styled in messy waves, with a few pieces held back by a hair clip that matches her dress.
Just looking at her makes me blush.
“Mom’s gonna kill you, dude,” I whisper.
Roman and Imogen aren’t married yet, but he’s basically my brother.
“You’ve got about ten minutes before Mrs. Flynn realizes you’re both missing.”
I grin.
“Thanks, man.”
He waves me off, slinking back inside and leaving Abi and I alone. All I can do is stare at her because she’s quite literally breathtaking. The way the sun makes her green eyes pop and illuminates her freckles? It still takes my brain some time to process that I get the privilege of marrying this woman.
“Can I sit?” She asks, gesturing to the empty space beside me.
“I don’t know.” I click my tongue. “I was kinda waiting for a big hottie to come along in a purple— oh my God, she’s you!”
Abi rolls her eyes, easing herself down and grabbing my other cufflink.
“You know, that joke never gets old.”
“I’ll never stop telling it.” I glance down as she fiddles with my shirt. “You needed a break, too?”
“I love your family, but there are just a lot of people around. Gets kind of…” She makes a vague and frantic gesture with one hand, chuckling to herself. “You know.”
“The hovering?”
“Oh my god the hovering!” Abi groans. “ Abi, your dress and Abi, your hair , blah blah blah! I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful, it's just a lot.”
She sighs, gazing up at me with big, fluttering lashes as she secures the cufflink.
“My mom told me that when she married my dad, she almost missed the whole wedding. She was so worried about other people, where everything was, and if everything was going to be perfect that it just… passed her by. When everyone was poking at me with brushes and eyeliner pens, that’s all I could think about.”
“That’s funny, because I was thinking the same thing.”
I kiss her temple, taking the opportunity to breathe in her perfume. Abi always smells so warm, like a crackling campfire. The scent has started to feel like home.
“So, what are you most excited for when we get married?” I ask.
I already know my answer. Dancing in the kitchen, dinner parties, cuddling in bed on rainy days, and movie marathons. What else do you do when you marry your best friend?
“Hmm…” She nuzzles against me. “Our honeymoon.”
We’re going to the UK for three months, and maybe even a bit of Europe. I want to take Abi to the church my parents got married in, and I’ve got family who can’t wait to meet her. She’ll fit right in with the Flynns. I’ve never had any doubt about that.
We’re going to eat incredible food, go to museums, start writing that book together, and fuck each other’s brains out. We leave tomorrow, but my bags have been packed for a week already.
“What else?” I ask. “Because me? I’m really excited to yell, get away from my wife !”
Abi cackles, her little button nose scrunching up and a twinkle in her eyes.
“When, pray tell, would you ever have the opportunity to yell that?”
“I don’t know, maybe we’re in Paris and some dude is hitting on you at the Louvre.”
“Ah, yes, the infamous Parisian Wife Napper.”
“Exactly! There are dozens of epic poems written about him!”
She giggles and nudges me with her elbow.
“Is that really what you’re excited for?”
“To call you my wife? Hell yeah!”
I’ve already started practicing.
My wife is a professor.
My wife knits incredible scarves.
My wife secretly loves country music and if you breathe a word of that to anyone, I’ll have to kill you.
It just feels good to say!
“What else?” She asks.
The sunlight hits her face in just such a way I can see all the glitter from her makeup sparkling, like little jewels on her skin. I want to make a Twilight joke, but I don’t think she’d appreciate me ruining this moment.
“Getting super old and decrepit with you, and having insane conversations no one but us understands.”
“We already do the second part,” she giggles. “But yeah, I can’t wait to be a crusty ancient goth with you, Doctor Flynn.”
I brush a stray wave of hair away from her face.
“What about you? What else are you excited for?”
“Babies.”
She breathes the word out, like revelation and relief mixed into one.
“Babies?” I ask. “Pl– plural?”
We’ve talked about it, but nothing too serious until now. We wanted her to get settled in the Anthropology department, publishing, lecturing, and building her passion project: a safe injection site right outside of Emerald Bay.
“Mmhmm.” Abi pulls away, her eyes shimmering. “Two? Maybe three?”
She’d be such a great mom. When Kat and Marcus come to visit, the first person Dylan runs to is his aunt Abi.
I’m trying to figure out the best thing to say, but she skips right past that part, grabbing me by the tie before gently rolling it up and releasing it.
“I was thinking we could start tonight.”
“I mean, we’ve got an extra five minutes right now.”
I can make her come in two.
But Abi only snickers, reaching up and booping my nose.
“Are you ever going to stop being horny for me?”
“Are you kidding, not a chance!” I glide my lips along her jaw before nipping at her ear. “I’m gonna fuck you every single day. Maybe more than once!”
“So crass, Doctor.”
“Hey, dorks!”
Frankie’s voice rings out from behind us, a perfect blend of exhaustion and excitement. He’s got a bottle of beer in his hand and a sly smirk on his face.
“Your moms are freaking the fuck out, and they’re interrogating Roman.”
“Well, I guess our time’s up,” I mutter. “He’s gonna fold like a cheap lawn chair and confess everything. Probably even stuff he didn’t do.”
Abi snickers and I hop to my feet, stretching out my arm to her.
“Are you ready to get married to the biggest nerd of all time?”
She takes my arm, and I gently help her to her feet, making a big show of it all.
“I’ve been ready since the day we met, Flynn. How about you?”
I take a look around us, at the greenery and the sky, and the old brickwork of the church. If you’d asked me even two years ago if I thought we’d end up here, I’d have laughed it off, said you were crazy.
Abi and me? There’s no way in hell.
We’re just friends.
Best friends.
But despite all of that, despite knowing there was no chance in hell we’d end up together, if you’d have asked me, really asked me?
I’d have told you.
“I’ve never wanted anything more in my entire life.”