Epilogue
Sloane
One Year Later…
I was unnerved at first by the buzzing sound that the tattoo machines make. It ramped my adrenaline up, and I was already nervous to begin with. It’s kind of like going to the dentist and walking in, smelling that smell and hearing the drills, and just knowing that it’s going to be a horror show.
Ash was super nice about all of this. She’s the newest artist at Crow’s tattoo shop.
Liam went to her a few months ago. He decided to reveal his new tattoo, on his upper bicep at dinner right after he got it.
He wasn’t going halfway on it either. While I gaped at him and Cruz sent me nervous looks, Liam went on to proudly describe the sleeve he wanted to get.
He was all about Ash, though I suspected that it might have had more to do with the fact that she’s lovely in every way, just as much as it did with the artwork itself.
After the year that we’ve had, Liam getting inked was a surprise, but not the craziest one I’d had. I think his telling me about the gang thing and the club right at the start was the worst of the shock. After that, I got used to it.
Liam included me in all the decisions he’s made, from picking out a bike, getting his license, and patching in with the club.
I know that it’s not my decision, and I’ve tried to make sure he knows that too, but Liam’s still tried hard to keep that line of communication open.
He spends half his time at our apartment, and half at the clubhouse.
He’s still my son, even if he’s now a patched-in member of Satan’s Angels too.
After he showed us his tattoo, Liam joked that Cruz and I should get matching ones. He said that Ash would be happy to do them.
Cruz laughed it off, but I thought about it longer than I should have. A few weeks later, I asked Cruz what he thought about tiny matching coffee cups.
He thought it was a great idea. Some guys might be worried by the fact that they’re a patched in member of a biker club without a single tattoo, and their first is a fine line coffee cup with steam coming off the top, but not Cruz. He never was like anyone else.
Like no one in the whole world.
I volunteered to go first, since I thought I’d lose my nerve if I didn’t. Now, I have a clear bandage covering my sweet little coffee cup on my right forearm.
Cruz is sitting on the black adjustable chair, and Ash is just about done inking his.
He looks away from the tattoo and meets my eyes.
His smile is so, so wide. It warms me through to the bottom of my heart and soul.
This man hasn’t just become the love of my life and my partner.
He’s become my everything. Most of all, he’s my absolute joy and my delight.
He listens to me. He gives me advice. He has no problem taking it himself.
He still has his room at the clubhouse, though he spends most nights with me at the apartment.
He officially moved his things in six months ago.
It felt natural. Perfect. Right. Just like everything we do together.
Our dates around Hart might not be the height of excitement to most people, but to us, they’re meaningful and perfect.
We’ve done the fun stuff, like bowling and salsa lessons.
We go for long walks at least twice a week in all seasons.
Cruz takes me for long, winding rides on his big bike.
It’s made for road tripping and is surprisingly comfortable.
Cruz loves riding it and I love riding with him.
We go to the movies every other week or so, or when something good comes out.
We have burgers at Patterson’s diner and treat ourselves to takeout sometimes too.
We plan picnics for each other, and we’ve spent a few days at the club’s cabin in the mountains while Liam worked the café for us.
Cruz still instructs the guys at the clubhouse, but he’s branched out.
The club bought a gym that went out of business and they renovated the space.
Cruz teaches classes there several times a day, ranging from wrestling to self-defense, to boxing, yoga, and Pilates.
“There we go. All finished up.” Ash wipes down the tattoo and lets it breathe for a little while before she applies the bandage.
We thank her, pay her, and head outside together. It’s a gorgeous summer day, hot and sunny. Cruz’s bike is waiting for us at the curb.
“It didn’t hurt as much as I thought it would.” I take his hand in mine. “And it was good to get them done before we start trying.”
A few months ago, we had a pregnancy scare.
It turned out not to be anything, but we really started thinking about what our lives would look like with a child.
I found I didn’t mind the idea. Neither did Cruz.
We haven’t been trying, but we’d like to.
I know it’s pretty crazy because I have an adult son, but I know that no one would give us a hard time.
No one would think we were weird. They’d be happy for us.
Liam would love being a big brother. I could get someone to work at the café so I could take some time off, and Cruz is hoping to have more people working at the gym.
I wanted to take a few months and budget, to make solid plans, to be absolutely certain that I wasn’t just feeling my biological clock in a moment of panic, but I haven’t changed my mind, and neither has Cruz.
If anything, we’ve both grown even more fond of the idea of having a baby.
We never did anything the normal, sane route either, so why start now?
Cruz passes me my helmet. Before he can help me with it, I draw him close, grasping his arms and pulling him to me. I tilt my face up and he kisses me, right there in the middle of the sidewalk.
“How do you like your new ink?”
He glances down at his forearm. “I like it very much. It’s a fitting symbol of our love.”
I don’t know if we’ll ever do the wedding rings thing.
I love Cruz with all of my being. If he wanted to get married, I know that I’d do it for him, but a piece of paper and a gold band isn’t the way we need to express our love to each other.
Cruz is so much more than mere words. His bond, his being, his heart…
they’re all twisted and twined so tightly with mine that I couldn’t separate them out if I wanted to.
Official vows seem so redundant when he’s already an inseparable part of me.
I love him with every breath, and like I keep drawing air, I keep loving him.
More and more, filling myself with it anew every single moment of every day.
He’s never asked me for a thing, this man, who knows exactly what I need. He’s given me a different kind of hope, and joy, and love. Those things weren’t missing from my life, but I never imagined they could take this shape.
I love this man so much that it often hurts, but in a good way.
“We had best get home to Prissy. It’s getting close to time for dinner.”
Ash came in on Sunday for us, because we both have that day as ours, but she couldn’t make it until two. After a bit of set up time and fitting the stencils, plus the work, we’re edging close to six.
That’s another reason why I love this man.
He takes the small things so seriously. He’s part of a beautiful, wonderful partnership that we’ve made for ourselves.
It hasn’t been without flaws and hard moments, but neither of us have ever thought of giving up.
We appreciate each other as human beings who found each other later in life far too much to ever imagine there not being an us ever again.
“She’ll want her pate, no doubt.”
He helps me with my helmet and kisses me on the nose and lips before he closes the visor.
This might be my favorite part of the whole bike experience.
Watching Cruz get on and get it rumbling, then climbing on behind him.
I lace my arms around his middle, rest my cheek on his shoulder, and let him ride us off into the sunset.
Well, not really. The sun is still shining, and it won’t set for a good while since it’s summer, but he rides us toward home, and as far as beautiful metaphorical sunsets go, it’s the best one that there is.
THE END