Chapter 44 James
Only the back of his head and strong, defined curve of his shoulders are visible, but already, something inside me has healed.
The anxiety that’s ruled so much of my life, rears its ugly head. You have no idea if he’s moved on, if he’s been dating, or hooking-up. He won’t want you anymore. He’s going to be a star. You are nothing.
During my several meltdowns in the days leading up to our flight, my travel mates ensured me none of what I desperately needed to be untrue, was, and the truths I was clinging to, needed more than air, were.
Cory’s not seeing anyone. Not even hooking-up.
Has been miserable. Talks about me all the time.
The fear lingers, maybe his old insecurities have resurfaced.
Maybe the contacts are back in. The DL lifestyle back on.
That’s why receiving that text as we were beginning our descent felt like fate.
Those four such tiny words, Jamie I miss you, telling me what felt like a massive risk, wasn’t so risky at all.
“Jamie?” he says, with not a minuscule amount of movement in his body.
“Hey, Cub.”
In one move he turns and leaps, legs wrapping around my waist, arms around my neck. His face is buried into the crook of my neck, instantly dampening my shoulders. I flinch, because in truth, it’s a little triggering. The last time he made such a move was when we were saying goodbye.
“But … I sent you a message.”
“You did.”
“You were already on the plane.” It’s a statement, not a question. One that deserves a sincere, considerate response.
“I was. Good sleuthing, Kid. Glad to see all the book smarts you picked up in college haven’t been wasted.” Rattling with laughter, he pulls his head from its hidey-hole and flashes me a smile that takes my breath away.
“Please don’t make me say goodbye again. I don’t think I could take it.”
“That’s one word I won’t ever ask you to repeat, Cub. Not if I can help it, anyway.”
“How about moist? I hate that, too.”
“Fine. Moist and goodbye. Got any others you’d like to add, or can I kiss you now?”
“Kiss, please.” The words still linger on his lips as mine crash into his.
“We’ll leave you to it,” someone in the background says, but I have no interest in learning who. I’m too consumed by the man in my arms and love in my heart.
And to be honest, the hot hockey butt beneath my fingers.
“I read your fic,” he says when we come up for air. “It was—”
“A cry for help?”
Giving his head a cute little tilt side to side, he winces. “A little yeah, but a beautiful one.”
“Speaking of beautiful.” Leaning in, I seal my lips over his and groan.
Fuck I’ve missed this. He’s so soft and warm, and so fucking sexy, and I’m so relieved I wore a tight pair of jeans, ‘cause I was mayor of Boner City right now. His hands leave their position around my neck, and weave up through my hair. I’ve not had it cut, or shaved, since Cory left, and the way he’s tugging on the ringlets nestled around my ears, he’s a fan of the hermit look.
“Want you,” he pants, gasping for air before his tongue pushes past my lips again, caressing my tongue with his own.
“Missed you.” I’m hard, so fucking hard and so fucking aware of where we are.
It’s hard to care though, when my skin is a buzz and Cory rolls his hips, pressing his own erection against my stomach.
Pulling my lips from his, I journey down his neck and bite that sweet spot below his ear soliciting a greedy whimper I need to hear in a more private setting.
“Jamie,” he says, swallowing heavily. “I think we’ll be arrested if we don’t stop.”
“I don’t care as long as you’re there.”
“You will. Eventually. If we stop now at least we can start again when we get home. No other inmates named Billy-Bob watching, either.” Chuckling, I drop my head against his shoulder.
“Just stay on me for a second.” I slip my hand between us and palm my aching cock. “Actually, better make that five minutes.”
Shaking his head, he presses one more kiss to my lips then slides off me and straightens his suit. Once happy he looks less disheveled, he looks up at me and smiles.
“Hi.”
“Hi yourself. Nice suit. Love the tie.”
“Nice beard.”
“Wanna come home with me?”
Bending, I slide my arm around his waist and pull him against me where he belongs. “Abso-fucking-lutely.”
“So, Jamie. Boys. Whose idea was this?” The five of us are spread out in the back of the limo, Lucas and Sam are halfway through a bottle of sparkling wine I’m hoping is complementary, Brady is texting someone, Quinn, Troye or both, judging by his smile, and Cory is tucked into my lap.
A position I don’t plan on letting him leave any time soon.
“You won’t believe this,” I scoff, scratching the bridge of my nose. “But Faith did.”
“You’re right. I don’t believe it.” Everyone laughs but me.
Amongst the many memories to torture me through each night, the little chat Faith had with Cory, then recounted to me, has been one of the most haunting memories of our time together.
Time and time again, those, if you love him let him go, barbs were the things that kept me awake.
I can’t imagine how painful it must have felt to have my sister toss them at his feet, only for me to do it too.
“She’s my fiercest critic, ardent defender and teller of truths. The day I graduated, she hugged me, gave me a kiss on the cheek then passed me a Canadian work visa application.”
“She did not.”
“She did. I think she’d reached her ’sobbing gay brother listening to droopy ballads’ limit.” Cory holds me a little tighter.
“You were sobbing?”
“I was. Losing a lot of hair, too.” Proudly I stroke my beard. “That might have had more to do with it than the tears, actually.”
Suddenly, Cory jumps then fists my shirt. “Dylan! What about Dylan?” There’s genuine distress in his voice which makes me love him even more.
“Dylan’s doing great. The advocacy group finally helped us get the insurance sorted and my dad’s doctor helped him get a placement in this amazing community house.
Dad’s goal was always to have Dylan live with some kind of independence, and now he can.
He has his own little apartment with a kitchen, so he’s supported to cook his own meals.
There’s a staff room attached for sleepovers, and a shared garden with these net swings he’s mad for.
When he moved in we took him shopping and he picked out his furniture, and the best part is, Maria moved in, too.
They’re neighbors. He’s so happy, Cub. It’s Dad’s dream come true. ”
“Dylan’s too, I think.”
“I hope so. At first I felt guilty, and was worried that people would think we were locking him away in some … institution. And he can’t express how he’s feeling, you know.
What if he hated it and just wanted to come home, but couldn’t tell us.
Anyway, we did two months of weekend trials, and by the last one, he didn’t want to leave. He really does seem happy.”
“And he still comes to Green Line. Best skater on the ice,” Brady adds, before turning and tapping on the tinted glass dividing us from our driver. “Hey, mate,” he attempts to whisper. “Can you do us a favor and take us to Hyatt Place?” The driver nods his affirmation and slides the glass back up.
“Why are we going there?” Cory asks.
“It’s where me, Lucas and Sam are staying.”
“You’re what? I thought—”
Blushing, he points between James and I. “You thought we were going to sleep in the same apartment as you two?”
“Yeah. No thanks.” Sam nods to Lucas for backup.
“We wanted to stay with you, Cubby. But when James relented and came along we booked a room each. Brady can send his filthy messages to Troye and Quinn, Sam can send his to–Oww. Absolutely no one,” he adds after Sam kicks his thigh.
“And yeah. I too will message no one ‘cause why would anyone want me?”
Sam’s sheepish grin doesn’t go unnoticed by anyone. Among a litany of worries over my unsolicited migration, will Cory be single? Still interested? Hate the beard? This secret between Sam and me has created the most fear.
I want Cory and I to have a fresh start.
One that’s open and honest. All pucks on the ice, if you will.
But Sam’s sworn me to secrecy. Bailed me out.
I can’t break his confidence. Thankfully, even though he’s clearly covering something up, Cub’s too excited over the prospect of alone time with me to bother digging.
“We’ve got an hour before dinner. Tour later. Fuck me now,” is my reply to the offer of Cubby showing me around his apartment.
“Deal.”
With little regard for his need for oxygen, or the cost of that sexy suit, I fist the tie hanging loosely around his neck, and drag him inside, throwing that lithe, but muscular body up against the wall and tearing open his shirt.
“Those fucking nipples,” I groan, taking them into my mouth one after the other, licking, biting ‘til he’s writhing. “So fucking sweet.” He’s collected enough to use the time wisely, though, blindly popping the button of my jeans, and tugging them down.
“As much as I want you to take your time and taste every inch of me, I also need to be inside you yesterday.”
“I vote for that, too and came prepared.”
There’s a full length mirror on the wall opposite me, a final chance to check yourself before you wreck yourself with bad fashion. Also to show what your man has shoved inside his ass.
Busy hands still. “You wore a plug on a plane?”
“Sounds like the porn version of a movie I’ve seen.”
“Jamie!”
“I did.” I laugh. “Not the whole flight, that would be weird. I popped it in when I went to the bathroom. Not an easy feat when you’re my size.”
Behind his fogged up glasses, Cory’s eyes, more beautiful a blue than my mind pictured a million times, narrow. “Pretty confident I’d take you back, hey?”
“Are you taking me back? I feel like it’s the other way round, but we’ve got time to battle that out.”
“A lifetime.”
“Exactly.”