Chapter Nineteen
“Hey, how are you doing? Was the food all right? Are you doing okay?”
Wren looked up at his mate with a smile. It was early afternoon, and they weren’t in the Alley, they were in a town called Big Sky, having lunch in an outdoor café like regular people. There was a part of Wren that wanted to pinch himself to make sure he wasn’t dreaming.
Whatever had upset Devon with his phone call hadn’t been discussed, so Wren assumed it was work-related.
Devon had found him chatting and giggling with Flint, and after a bit of teasing and Flint congratulating Devon for their mating, Devon had said he was taking Wren on vacation for a few days.
While Wren had been excited about it, he had also been wary.
There was something off about Devon – as if Devon was hiding something – and it made Wren edgy because he wasn’t sure what it was.
Focusing on the moment, Wren tried to answer the question honestly.
“It’s all very loud, isn’t it?” he said quietly, knowing that Devon would be able to hear him.
“I’m glad we’re sitting outside, as I think it would’ve been a bit much eating in there.
” He glanced over his shoulder through the large picture window into the café.
The place was packed with every table filled. “It doesn’t smell as bad out here.”
Devon chuckled. “I did warn you about the smells,” he said softly. “Cologne is a big issue. Also, perfume, body washes, or even natural odor sometimes.” He wrinkled his nose, and Wren laughed. “We’ll build up to things slowly on that side of things. You do get used to it over time.”
“It’s funny in a way. Back before…” If Wren had his way, he would never mention Michael’s name again.
“I used to watch people on the television, through the window sometimes if I was cleaning them, or even on the computer, but I was always conscious of that distance – does that make sense – between what I was seeing and doing. But I’m really here this time.
I guess I never realized how loud everything was.
Or vibrant. It’s wonderful and going to take some getting used to, all at the same time. ”
“I did wonder about that.” Devon smiled gently, pushing away his plate and picking up his coffee mug, although he still held Wren’s hand with his other one.
“We had so many conversations about films, movies, like that two-week debate about Star Trek and Star Wars and things like that. They were chats that I really, really valued. But how did you know about all the shows we used to talk about? Did you use to watch them online?”
“Not exactly,” Wren said slowly. “Back in those days, when we first started chatting, that other person had a girlfriend and was staying out a lot of nights. I was able to spend more time on the computer. You would say something really interesting, and then I would go and Google it and see what other people said. It worked,” he added, realizing he’d just basically admitted lying to the man who was now his forever.
“It kept the conversation going – a conversation that was truly my only lifeline some days.”
Wren looked down at the table. “I always worried that if you knew the truth about me, then you’d realize I wasn’t a very interesting person. But in our chats, that was the closest thing I’d had to being normal in my whole life.”
“It’s quite weird, isn’t it?” Devon said, glancing up as someone walked past and waiting until they’d gone before he explained. “We spent all our time, both of us did really, online, trying to be someone else, yet my connection with you was, so many times, the highlight of my day.”
“Mine, too.” Wren nodded, and he quickly blinked away a few tears.
“You do realize you can watch those movies now, don’t you? We can watch them together. In fact, you can do…or we can do anything you want to do. I want that idea to be a core part of your new life.”
Wren looked out at their surroundings, not quite sure what to say.
For all his dreams of being outside, if it wasn’t for Devon’s constant presence, he would’ve been terrified.
Big Sky seemed like a really friendly place, with fun shops and little boutiques, and everybody appeared to be happy, smiling, and enjoying themselves.
“I think that’s going to take a while to get used to,” he admitted.
“When I was first introduced to the internet, it was like a whole new window to the world for me – one I could actually control for short periods of time. I really enjoyed studying, even the basic classes. It broke my heart when I got told I wasn’t allowed to do it anymore.
Even though it was only online, I felt like I was doing what other people did, what I perceived other people did. ”
He laughed and then looked up at his mate again.
He wasn’t sure he’d ever get used to the way Devon looked at him – like he was the only person worth paying attention to.
“After the isolation of my grandparents’ place, and then…
my other situation…a lot of the impressions I had of what normal life was like came from television.
Sometimes I was allowed to sit on the floor when it was on.
I do realize the stuff I was seeing wasn’t real, but I could dream about life outside of where I was because of those programs.”
“And now you have a chance for some of those dreams to come true – I think we both deserve some fun in our lives.”
Devon was stroking his hand, and it was as if he didn’t care if other people could see what Wren was sure was an affectionate gesture. A couple went past on their way out of the café, and Wren knew they’d seen – Devon’s hand was holding his on the tabletop - but Devon ignored them.
“We can start with simple things, like staying at the hotel, walking down the streets, eating at a café, or going shopping.”
“We’ve done three of those things already.” Wren giggled as he briefly rested his head on Devon’s shoulder. “Who knew this going on vacation business was so easy?”
“Ah, but you have the shopping side of things to come yet.” Devon leaned closer and said quietly, “Have you ever had the chance to walk into a store and buy something you liked for yourself? Something you chose?”
“No, although…” Wren peered across the road from where they were sitting, looking up and down the street. “This place seems lovely, but I’m not sure any of the shops here would have the sorts of clothes I’d like to buy. The stuff in the windows seems more rugged and hardwearing, or sports gear.”
“Even if we don’t find anything, you can learn a lot by touching fabrics and testing the comfort level you think will work for you. Then we can find clothes online in the colors you like.”
“Just going into a shop as a potential customer for the first time is a big deal for me. Flint did say he’d send you the link for the overalls he was wearing this morning, although I don’t think I would wear them when we were out. They are more for lounging around at home.”
“See, you’re already getting an idea of your style.” Wren could tell Devon was pleased. “I’m determined to spoil you, so be prepared for that.”
“You know you don’t have to. You’ve given me so much already.”
“You own my heart. That’s reason enough for me.
This is just the start for us, I promise you.
” He leaned closer. “All the people you can see, going about their day-to-day, they might not know the truth about us. But to their eyes we’re just two normal men, enjoying a lunch, sharing a laugh, just totally free to be. ..”
“You were going to say normal again, weren’t you?
” Wren chuckled. “I don’t think the word normal will ever apply to us or your friends.
Now I’m out, though, I can see what you mean about blending in.
It’s lovely to see I’m not the only man wearing pink.
That couple down there” - Wren pointed down the road – “the ones with the matching jackets. They’re both wearing colors brighter than my sweatshirt. ”
“Again, perfectly normal. Seeing other people is another way you can learn about the sorts of things you’d like for yourself.
You can wear whatever you like, be whoever you like.
The only thing we have to keep silent…” Devon waited until a crowd of four people went past the table.
“You know about that anyway. I doubt you’ll get the urge to shift and run down the main street in Big Sky as an elephant, for example. ”
“There’s no room for an elephant around here. There’d be nowhere for the cars to go. What else do people do on vacation apart from shopping?”
“From what I’ve seen over the years, vacation people fall into two camps. There are some people who fill their days with activities, like hiking, skiing, cycling, or visiting attractions. Then there are other people who curl up by a pool and sip drinks while reading books.”
“What do you like to do?” Wren assumed he wouldn’t have an issue with hiking, but he wasn’t sure about cycling or skiing. He’d be so embarrassed if he made a fool of himself in public.
“I’m not one for doing touristy things myself,” Devon admitted. “It can be fun every now and then, but usually, when I do take a break from the Alley, I like to go and eat out.”
“We’re doing that.” Wren grinned.
“I also like to go to bookstores. I can spend hours curled up somewhere quiet, reading a book. Sometimes, though, I might go and sit somewhere and people-watch. It can be nice to be out and about watching people that me and my friends keep safe – even if they don’t know about it.
When people look at me, they see someone who might be a professor, or a teacher, or an office manager, somebody normal and ordinary.
They don’t give me a second thought, but I love getting a glimpse of their lives when I’m watching them. ”
“That’s not strictly true,” Wren said. “I’ve noticed a few ladies giving you a second look when they walk past, and some of the men as well.”