Chapter Eight
Dean
“How long will he be out?” Axel asked.
“I’m not sure,” Dean admitted. “However long it takes for him to wake up.”
“It’s already been three hours,” Axel replied. He continued to pace in front of the bed that Dean’s mate was currently passed out in.
Dean hadn’t had a choice on whether or not to put Logan to sleep. The damage from the bear trap had been bad enough but the thrashing and struggling had nearly cost Logan his leg.
Even with all his and Noah’s magic, Dean had barely been able to save Logan’s leg. The only ones who’d been allowed in the room were Axel and Bo. The others had been too distracting to Dean. Their horror, fear, and emotional pain pulling Dean out of his concentration until Axel had ordered the room cleared.
Bo had gone to update the rest of the family.
Noah was passed out on Logan’s couch, his magic depleted.
Dean was having a hard time standing himself.
“Fuck!” Axel rushed over and grabbed him as Dean began to slide to the side. “You need to lie down.”
“Be fine,” Dean drawled. “Magic—”
“Yeah, I get it. You and Noah used up all your magic. What do you need?”
“Food. Liquids. Rest.” His head was spinning. “My mate.”
“I can do all that for you.” Axel helped him over to the bed.
Dean had cleaned Logan up as much as possible. The old-fashioned way. Using soap and water with a soft washcloth. He’d normally use magic. The magic had been needed for his mate’s serious injury. He stayed on top of the blankets, making sure that he didn’t roll into his injured mate.
The stark white bandages stood out against Logan’s tanned skin. They were wrong. This whole thing was wrong. Dean’s mate should not be hurt.
Tears fell as exhaustion hit.
“Here.” Axel moved Dean’s hand, allowing him to touch his mate. Just Logan’s hand but that was enough. “Rest. I’ll have food and drinks for all of you when you wake.”
“I need—” Dean tried. It was hard to think.
“To sleep. I’ll watch over all of you. No one will come in here.”
Dean blew out a breath as his eyes closed on their own accord. Sleep came quickly but his dreams were filled with the image of his mate’s blood all over his hands. Dean fought in his dreams. Fought harder than he’d ever done before.
It wasn’t until a weight settled against his side and Logan’s voice whispered in his ear that Dean finally rested.
* * * * *
Dean
“He saved your leg. Maybe even your life,” Axel told him.
Logan nodded. He didn’t lift his head from Dean’s chest, but Axel moved so Logan could see him. The steady beat of Dean’s heart under his ear soothed Logan even as he fought to not cry about the pain he was in. And not just his leg. Logan’s entire body ached. His heart broken and shattered into a million pieces.
“I don’t know what we would have done without him today.”
Even though Logan knew that he’d been extremely lucky, he didn’t know what to say to his alpha. Or what he’d say to Dean when the baker woke. Logan’s decisions hadn’t been the best that day and he was ashamed of himself. Remaining quiet seemed to be the best way to handle this situation.
Axel sighed. “Please tell me that you weren’t that far from home because you were running away.”
Logan couldn’t look his alpha in the eye. He never lied.
“Oh, Logan.” Axel sat at the foot of the bed. He avoided Logan’s injured leg but wrapped his fingers around Logan’s other ankle.
The touch of his alpha helped sooth his frazzled nerves. Well, he couldn’t just never talk again. His alpha and family deserved better than that. “I don’t know what I was thinking. I was hurt. Devastated. I just…I don’t know.”
“I can’t say that I understand,” Axel said quietly. “I’ve never been in your position before.”
Logan shrugged. Most shifters didn’t get rejected by their mate.
“I do know that you wouldn’t have gotten far.” Axel grinned at him. “I would have tracked you to the end of the earth if necessary.”
Oh! That was such an Axel thing to say. But his alpha needed to know that his injury didn’t really change anything. “I don’t know that I can stay.”
Axel frowned. Logan could see the confusion in those dark eyes. There was worry there as well.
“I want him so much. To be this close? To know that I’ll never have what I always dreamed about? I’m not that strong, Axel.” He’d been lying there for hours, knowing that this was his one and only chance to be this close to Dean. Once Dean woke, Logan wouldn’t be able to cling to him.
As Logan lay awake, he’d tracked his family through the house. He knew that Noah was asleep on his couch. The rest of the family had settled in the family room to be together. Logan had scared them. Stressed them out. He felt horrible.
Logan’s heart ached. For more than the loss of a mate. He’d hurt every single person he cared about. Logan was not a good boy. Not at all!
The pain from his leg radiated through his body but Logan felt like he deserved it for what he’d put everyone through. And for using the opportunity to be close to his mate this once.
Just this once.
Axel’s fingers tightened around his ankle. “What are you talking about? You always wanted a mate.”
Logan lifted his gaze as tears flowed freely down his face. “I did. I do. And he’s perfect but he doesn’t want me. How do I live without him?”
Axel’s hand jerked.
Above his head there was a gasp.
Logan closed his eyes momentarily. Dang it! He hadn’t been paying attention to Dean’s breathing. Hadn’t realized that Dean was waking up. Carefully—his leg still hurt horribly—Logan shuffled away from Dean’s side.
Dean sat up.
Logan couldn’t help but flinch back. He was prepared for Dean’s anger. It was not polite to cuddle someone in their sleep. It was wrong. Logan was not a good person. “I’m sorry,” he managed as he looked away from Dean.
Dean still had dark circles under his eyes. He was pale and sickly. That was probably Logan’s fault. Logan should get off the bed. Move far away. He just didn’t think he had the strength.
“You’re going to fall off the mattress if you scoot any farther from me,” Dean said. “I’ll get up. You stay.”
Logan nodded. That was easier. He was certain that Dean wanted to get away from him as soon as possible. Logan might never get out of bed again.
Dean slid off the mattress before turning to Axel. “Would you mind giving me some time with my mate?”
Axel rose as well. “Drake has food prepared. I’ll have him bring it up and put it in the kitchen. Hopefully this means Noah will wake up soon as well.”
“Yes, he’s waking up.” Dean glanced at Logan. “If you could please make sure he’s fed. This might take a few minutes.”
Logan could feel the strong emotions through the bond with his alpha. Axel was unsure about something. “He’s been through a lot,” Axel said.
Logan knew they were talking about him and pouted. He was sitting right there. Sure, he had messed up but that didn’t mean they needed to be rude.
“I know,” Dean said simply.
Axel walked over to where Logan was struggling to sit up. He gripped Logan under the arms, lifting him until Logan was against the pillows before Axel fluffed them at Logan’s back, making him more comfortable. Axel leaned close where Logan was forced to look him in the eye. “We love you, Logan.”
“I love you too,” he confessed. “All of you.” Logan hated that he’d hurt them.
“Then obey me when I tell you to listen to your mate.”
Logan nodded. It didn’t appear like he had much of a choice. It wasn’t like he could run now. Not with his leg like it was. “I will.”
Axel lifted a brow before he tugged on Logan’s earlobe. “Listen with your ears, boy.”
He didn’t understand. What else would he listen with? “Okay.”
That was it. Logan agreed and Axel headed for the bedroom door. Immediately Logan wanted to call him back. He didn’t want to hear Dean’s rejection again. He really shouldn’t have cuddled up with Dean when Dean already made their relationship clear. Dean’s sleep had been fretful. They had been holding hands. Logan had been weak.
Dean paced away from him. Logan watched his back as he seemed to be gathering himself. Logan wanted to make things easier on him. Dean had saved him after all.
“I’m sorry,” Logan offered.
Dean turned around. Dang, he looked so utterly exhausted. “Why are you sorry, Logan?”
“For cuddling you in your sleep without permission. I crossed a boundary. That wasn’t right.”
“I’m not upset about that,” Dean told him.
Oh! Then why was Dean mad? Logan knew he was too. He knew mad. Could smell it.
“I give you my full permission right now to cuddle me anytime that you want. Asleep or awake.”
That…didn’t even make sense. Logan shook his head.
Dean watched Logan until Logan started to squirm. “I made a mistake,” Dean finally said. “A lot of mistakes but I think the one I made today was the worst offense.”
As someone who often made his own mistakes, Logan understood how hard that was to admit. Even if he didn’t understand why Dean would be telling him. He opened his mouth to offer…something, but Dean held his hand up.
“Logan.” Dean said his name softly. “I never should have hidden my scent or the fact that we are mates.”
Did they have to do this again? Logan was tired. And hurt. “I know—”
“Wait, please,” Dean said softly. “I’m not done.”
He swallowed hard. Guess he was going to have to listen whether he wanted to or not. Logan had promised his alpha.
“I was wrong and am so very sorry.”
They’d covered this. It didn’t help.
“Today when I was telling you everything, I was filled with guilt. I think I told you too much at once?”
Honestly, Logan didn’t remember everything that was said. He shrugged since it looked like Dean was waiting for some sort of response.
“I should have talked and then listened to you. I word-vomited all over you and didn’t give you a chance to say anything. I begged for your forgiveness without even checking in on how you were feeling.”
Hadn’t it been evident that he’d been devastated? Wouldn’t anyone be? Logan looked away. This was hard. Talking was hard. So was listening.
“Then I let you take off alone, hurt, and didn’t protect you like a good mate should have.”
He snapped his eyes back at Dean.
Dean took two steps forward. “Did you hear me? I said I should have protected you like a good mate.”
Yeah, he had heard that. “We’re not mates.”
“Ouch.” Dean looked pained as he rubbed his chest. “That hurts.”
Well yes. Logan knew.
“I bet it’s not even half of what you felt though.”
Logan didn’t know the answer to that.
“I want to ask you one question right now.”
“Okay.” One question wasn’t a lot. He rubbed his hands together. Maybe they were almost done talking? Logan had a better idea why Levi wasn’t much of a talker. Talking and listening were hard.
“Did you think I rejected our mating bond?”
Logan stilled. Stared at Dean. The way he’d asked that question. Worded it. It was weird. He’d promised to answer though. “Yes?”
“That’s what I thought.” Dean came closer.
Logan was confused.
“I did not reject you or our mating bond.”
That…that wasn’t right. Why was Dean doing this? He sniffed. Logan fought tears. He never thought a mate of his could be this mean.
“Don’t cry, baby,” Dean sat on the bed. Close. But not touching. “Talk to me.”
“I don’t understand,” Logan confessed. He couldn’t stop his tears any longer.
“Okay.” Dean scooted closer. “You have questions?”
He shrugged.
“You can ask me anything,” Dean offered.
There were so many things that Logan didn’t understand. He felt so dumb! Logan hated this feeling!
“You knew we were mates. You said you were sorry,” Logan reminded him.
“Yes,” Dean said slowly. “I’m so sorry for letting my fear control me and not telling you. For not giving you and your lion the chance to scent me.”
“And for not wanting to mate with me?”
“Baby, I never said I didn’t want to mate with you. It’s all I’ve wanted since the first time I saw you standing in front of my bakery. It was hell seeing you every day but thinking that I needed to keep away from you.”
But— Logan shook his head. “You kept apologizing.”
“For hurting you. For not telling you. I’m sorry that I went after my coven and left you alone for months. I’m so damn sorry for everything I put you through since we met. I wasted so much time when I could have been loving you.”
“You want to love me?” he asked, shocked.
Dean reached out and grasped his fingers. “More than anything.”
Logan stared hard at Dean. This was impossible! He hadn’t been rejected? Giddiness filled him and Logan started to laugh. The tears that had dried on his cheeks were soon joined with new tears. Tears of relief. Tears of shock.
“Baby?” Dean cupped his face. “Did I break you?”
“No!” Logan threw his arms over Dean’s shoulders while also trying to climb into his lap.
The pain in his leg flared and he screamed.
“Logan!” Dean tried to help him straighten the leg again. Logan ended flat on his back as his vision wavered.
The door slammed open before Noah was by his side. “What did you do this time?” he demanded of Dean.
“Nothing!” Dean said as he hovered next to Logan. “He moved wrong.”
Noah snorted while running his palm down Logan’s leg. He hummed and nodded before he placed a pillow under Logan’s leg to elevated it.
The pain eased but didn’t go away.
“He needs rest. The leg is still healing,” Noah snapped at Dean. “You can keep your hands off him for a few days.”
Logan grabbed Noah’s hand and squeezed. “It was my fault,” he said through ragged breaths. “I just realized that he didn’t reject me. I got excited.” And he didn’t want Dean to keep his hands off him.
Noah’s eyes got huge. “You thought he rejected you?”
He nodded.
“Oh, my sweet friend.” Climbing over him, Noah plopped on Logan’s uninjured side and snuggled close. “I’m so sorry you thought that! It must have been horrible. I can’t even imagine the pain you must have felt.”
Logan wrapped his arm around Noah’s back, allowing the familiar to rest his head on Logan’s chest. Noah was such a calming presence. Even the physical pain lessened with Noah close by. “I thought my life was ending.”
Noah made a sad sound in the back of his throat.
“Uh…” Dean waved his hand between them. “I would like to point out that I didn’t reject him. It was a miscommunication. Therefore, I should be the one cuddling my mate.”
Noah made a dismissive sound as Logan opened his other arm.
“I have a whole other side. I’m a big guy,” Logan offered.
Dean sighed but it was wonderful when he slid gently onto the mattress to bracket Logan’s other side.
“This is nice,” Logan told them after they’d cuddled for a good ten minutes.
“I’m kind of hungry though,” Noah commented.
Logan’s tummy took that opportunity to growl.
Dean huffed. “I guess that’s my cue?”
“You are on the outside,” Noah told him. “Makes sense to me.”
“I can—” Logan began to sit up.
Two hands landed on his chest to hold him down.
“Stay right where you are,” Noah said. “You can’t walk on that leg yet.”
“Please, baby. Don’t try to get up. My magic can only do so much. The injury was bad.”
Logan shuddered, remembering the pain and all the blood.
“Shh.” Dean kissed his forehead. “You’ll be fine. There won’t even be a scar if you just allow yourself to heal.”
“Okay,” he agreed easily. Logan didn’t want to mess up his mate’s hard work.
His mate.
Logan had a mate.
He’d been so wrong. Dean hadn’t rejected him. Logan couldn’t even believe this was happening right now. If he could shift, he’d roar and let everyone know that he had finally been chosen. He had a mate!
Dean rolled off the bed. “Axel said Drake would leave us some food up here.”
“On the counter,” Noah told him. “Smells good.”
Logan giggled as Dean rolled his eyes.
“You could get your own food,” Dean told Noah. “Your leg is not hurt.”
“I’m cuddling with your mate!” Noah complained.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Dean muttered. He strolled out of the room.
Noah wiggled around onto his stomach before popping up on his elbow to peer down at Logan. “I’m not hitting on you.”
Logan frowned. “I didn’t think you were.” They didn’t have that sort of relationship. And Logan had a mate! He still couldn’t believe that he had a mate!
“Just making sure you knew. Some people get weirded out.”
“Weirded out?”
Noah tilted his head. “Didn’t Dean tell you? About me? How my being his familiar works?”
“I don’t think so,” Logan admitted. “Although I don’t remember everything from our conversation this morning.”
“That’s fair.” Noah held up a finger. “First you should know that I’m asexual.”
“Okay. I’ve heard that term before, but could you explain to me what that means for you? If there are any boundaries you have or something you don’t like?” Logan requested.
Noah stared at him for a moment. “You didn’t say you were sorry.”
Logan was horrified! Had he already insulted his new friend?
“Everyone tells me that they’re sorry when I inform them that I’m asexual. Even Dean did,” Noah explained. “But not you.”
He really wished he was smarter. It hadn’t occurred to him. Should he be sorry? Logan didn’t even know what he’d be apologizing for. “Uh.”
“They apologize like they think something’s wrong with me. Or that they should pity me.”
“There’s nothing wrong with you!” Logan said fiercely. He’d hurt anyone that made Noah feel otherwise. His lion half was in total agreement.
“I know that. Obviously, you do too.” Noah smiled. “I knew I liked you from the beginning.”
“I like you too.”
“To answer your earlier question,” Noah said, “I have no interest in any sexual activity. At all. I’m also not sexually attracted to people. Men or women. I’m not.”
“Okay.” That didn’t affect Logan one way or another. He just wanted Noah to be comfortable around him.
“However, I love touch. To hug, cuddle, snuggle—really any touch. I can’t ever get enough so don’t worry about giving me space. You might have to remind me that you need space though.”
“I will if I need to, but I like touch too. My family is very good at giving hugs and cuddling. I’m sure they’ll be happy to provide if ever you need.”
“I noticed,” Noah said. “It’s just that some of Dean’s exes, both the men and women, they accused us of messing around behind their backs. They would see us cuddling on the couch and get really mad.” Noah stiffened. “Should I not talk about this? About his exes? Since your mates and all.”
Logan thought about it. Was thinking about Dean’s exes upsetting to him? “I’m fine with it.” Oh! That was interesting. He really was. “It doesn’t matter what happened in the past. Not when I have my mate now.”
“You’re amazing,” Noah said.
He found himself blushing. Logan wasn’t anything special.
“Every one of them accused us of cheating. Even when I explained that I was asexual, they didn’t believe us. Or they went the other way and wanted to have a threesome. It really hurt Dean.”
“It hurt you too,” Dean said as he entered the bedroom, carrying a tray. “Help him sit up.”
Between him and Noah, they were able to get Logan sitting up against the pillows again. Noah adjusted the pillow under Logan’s injured leg.
“Comfy?” Noah asked.
“Good.” He grabbed Noah’s hand. “And just so we’re clear, I will never mind you snuggling with me or Dean. Or think that you mean anything sexual by it. You’re welcome with us. Those people must have had their own insecurities and I’m sorry that they hurt you. You’re important to me too.”
“Well said, mate.” Dean set the tray across his lap. Breathing deep, Logan nearly drooled. “Drake made his Italian chili? This takes forever to simmer. The house always smells so good. And fresh bread. They must have been really worried.”
“Everyone was,” Dean said. “They love you very much.”
Yeah, Logan hadn’t been thinking clearly. “I need to do something special for them.”
“I’ll help you think of something. You can come to the bakery, and we can make them up their favorite treats if you want.”
He brightened at that idea. His family would love yum-yums and Logan would love to hang out with Dean and Noah. He didn’t even have to lurk out front any longer. Logan belonged inside with his mate.
“Food!” Noah whined.
“I’m getting it, you little diva.” Dean brushed the hair from Logan’s forehead. “Eat, baby, don’t wait for me. I’ll be right back.”
It really was polite to wait. He turned toward Noah, “You never explained how being a familiar works. If I could ask about that. I’ve been wondering.” Could he claim Noah as his familiar too? Not that he wanted Noah to do anything for him, but Logan wanted Noah to be settled with him.
“Sure.” Noah sat cross-legged beside him. “We have a bond. It’s not like the mate bond though. The mage and familiar connection is completely magical. Actually, if anyone would understand best, it would be you!”
“Me?”
“Lion shifters have a similar bond as a familiar between their human and lion sides. When you connected with your lion side, the human soul and lion soul bonded you together forever.”
“Yes!” Logan had never known how to explain it before.
“Dean and I both have our souls but there was a missing chunk until he took me as his familiar. Once that happened then I felt whole for the first time in my life. There’d been something missing.”
“I get it.”
“When you mate with Dean, my connection will be stronger with you too. I can already feel you. When he uses spells, my magic is entwined with his. I’m not quite sure what you being a shifter will mean but I’m looking forward to finding out.”
“That’s amazing.” Logan had no idea that he was sort of getting a familiar too. He was really lucky. A very lucky boy.
“I’m so happy we came here,” Noah admitted. “That we finally found our home.”
“Yes!” Logan didn’t have a lot to offer his mate and familiar but home… a place to belong and be loved. That he would happily share.
“Although, could you put some furniture in one of the other bedrooms, please? Your couch isn’t that comfortable.”
“Right away,” Logan agreed. “Bo should have something that works. He makes custom pieces. He’d be happy to give it to us.” As long as Bo wasn’t mad at him. Even if he was, Bo would want to help Noah.
“This is the happiest day of my life,” Noah said.
“Mine too.” Dean carried in another tray. “Are you sitting in the middle?”
Noah pushed out his lower lip. “I’m the smallest. It makes the most sense.”
Sighing, Dean placed the tray across Noah’s legs.
Noah wiggled happily in place.
Dean turned but caught Logan’s gaze and winked.
Logan grinned back. This was the happiest day in his life too.
“Can we watch the vampires again?” Noah asked.
“Yes!” That was a great idea. Would Dean agree? Did he like shows like that? He glanced over at his mate.
“Vampires? Which ones?” Dean asked.
“New Orleans,” Noah responded. He was already digging his spoon into the soup.
“Sounds good to me. I haven’t watched that show in a while. Marcel is very attractive.”
Logan and Noah both gasped. “Klaus!” They shouted at the same time.
“Jackson is also hot in that rugged way,” Dean said as he strolled toward the door. “And of course Elijah.” He hummed. “Great idea. Some hot eye candy to watch.” He stepped out of the room.
Well now Logan didn’t want to watch the show anymore. He wanted to be the only hot eye candy that Dean ever looked at.
Noah nudged his side. “Thanks for not acting weirded out or anything with me.”
Logan leaned the side of his head against the top of Noah’s. “I’ve been called weird a time or two. Even if it’s a joke, it still hurts.”
Noah nodded.
“I think you’re perfect just the way you are.” Logan already loved his familiar. And his mate. The three of them just fit together even though Logan’s relationship was different with Noah than Dean.
Having a mate, Logan still couldn’t believe this was happening!
And Noah. Another feline that would be his family.
He’d lost so much in his life but gained even more.
Logan rubbed his hand over his heart. He no longer felt broken hearted but loved and cherished.