Chapter 14
Trevor
I have a horrible nightmare. Something with slobbery teeth and tattered nails gets its paws on Cameron and refuses to let go. It pulls him down into pitch-black darkness and traps him there. I don't need to check under the bed for monsters going bump.
The monster is already there. Right in our bed.
It's me.
That thought haunts me through the night. I keep nodding off, but I can't stay asleep. I keep waking up. Again and again. The nightmare is stalking me and there's no escape from it. At least Cameron must be having good dreams. He stays conked out all night. He uses me as his pillow. So sound asleep he even drools a little against my tank top while making those cute snuffle snores.
Fuck. I don't have the right to call him cute.
Not after what I did him. What I let Marlon do to him. So much for protecting Cameron.
How did things get so messed up? I can't believe I let things get so out of hand…I don't know why I let myself go that far with Cameron. In the moment, everything was hot. Yet in the aftermath, I'm left frozen.
I can't stop thinking about how soft and docile Cameron was while I fucked him. Or how badly he started shaking after it was done.
He was so out of it. Like he was gone, away from his body and out of his mind.
Don't get me wrong, I've rocked a boy's world and made plenty of guys scream with pleasure, but nothing like what happened with Cameron. Marlon insisted it was normal and I've heard of subspace before, sure, but nothing I've known about it could have prepared me for that.
I've wrecked everything. I took advantage of him.
And the worst part?
Cameron doesn't realize it. He's cuddling with the monster that's ruined him.
I can't stop thinking about those blue fucking curtains. If I subconsciously picked out and put up blue curtains because they were Cameron's favorite color, what else have I done?
Did I seduce and manipulate us into this situation?
My head is full of doubt and my heart is heavy with guilt. I lay there, my body without sleep and my mind restless, until morning chases away the night.
Cameron sleeps in late, but I don't do a single thing to disturb him until he's ready to rise.
"Trev?" he yawns, rubbing sleep out of his eyes. "When did you wake up?"
"A while ago." I try to crack a smile, but my lips can't quite make the shape of it. The best it can do is twitch the corners of my mouth. "How you feeling?" I ask.
"A little sore, but great," Cameron says with another yawn as he sits up in bed. He reaches for his phone. And his pill bottle. I watch silently as he gulps down his medication. I've got to say something. I need to apologize and make things right.
No words come. As I watch Cameron scroll on his phone, my throat goes dry. My vision goes blurry. There's so much to say, but I can't say anything. It's so strange. Usually, I'm the driving force behind everything Cameron and I do, but when I need to act most I find myself unable to move.
"Should we watch it together?" The video is on the screen of Cameron's phone. His thumb hovers over the play button.
My mind draws a blank. "What?"
"From last night," Cameron grins. He rolls closer. Close enough that I can feel his morning wood pressing against my thigh. "We can watch it and then we can fool around, yeah? You don't have work today. Right?"
He laughs. Light and airy. Almost bell-like and somehow still entirely too innocent even after everything that's happened.
"Right," I repeat.
But it's not right. None of this is right.
"I mean, no." I take the phone out of Cameron's hand and set it on the mattress. Face down. "You need to delete it, Cam. And we gotta…stop. We can't do that again. What happened last night..."
My voice breaks. Goddamn it. Why am I crying? I don't have the right. I lift my hand and drag my palm across my face, trying to hide the tears from Cameron.
"Woah. What's wrong?" He's not having it. In a reversal of our usual roles, Cameron's the one comforting me. "Are you okay, Trev? Talk to me, please."
His hand is on my shoulder and he makes me sit back down as I try to pull away. To get away from him. It'd be for his own good. I should never touch him again.
Yet as Cameron puts his skinny arms around me, I can't help but lean into his softness.
"I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry. I-I didn't marry you to fuck you. You gotta believe me, okay? I didn't plot it out. It wasn't supposed to be like this. I'm not your friend…I'm a goddamn monster."
All the worries and fears I've ever felt about our fake marriage and screwing around pour out and drown me.
"You're so good, Cam. And me? I'm bad."
"No, no, no. Don't talk about my husband like that." Cameron tries to joke, but neither of us laughs. "Please, Trev. You're not bad, okay?"
I shake my head, blinking wetness out of my eyes. Cameron is still talking, but I can't hear him. I try to pull away again and almost manage to get away. Only to find myself pinned in place as Cameron crawls directly into my lap and drops his full body weight into my lap.
"Stop, Trev. Please. Listen to me?"
He takes my hand and puts it over his hip. Right where I bruised him last night.
"Okay," I take a deep breath and go to wipe my face with my other hand, but Cameron's already there. His lips and mouth and goddamn tongue. He not only kisses my tears away, but he licks them. Those kitten-like swipes of his tongue. I close my eyes and shudder with relief.
Cameron pulls back enough to meet my eyes. Face to face. There's no height difference between us now. We look at each other as equals.
"Last night was amazing. Everything with you has been amazing, Trev. I never…I never thought I could have this before. I never knew this was something I could have. Not until you took me in and showed me it was possible. And helped me learn that I deserve it."
I look deep into Cameron's bright eyes. They're shining, but not with tears. They shine with happiness. I've never seen Cameron like this. He even sounds different.
"This is real, Trev. What we have. It's real…and I want more of it."
Cameron presses his mouth against mine and grinds his boner into the tautness of my stomach. He kisses me, deep and desperate and full of want. It doesn't take me long to respond in kind. Cameron's confidence in what we've done makes me confident too.
I slip my tongue into his mouth. We kiss again and again, until we're both breathless and wear matching flushes on our faces. "Are you sure?" I ask him again, running my fingers through his mop of blond hair and cupping his cheek.
"Yeah, I'm sure. Let's be together…for real real this time. I love you, Trev."
He wants me too. He wants us to be an us too.
"I love you too, Cam. I always have. I always will...should we exchange I dos again?" I joke, finding my humor again.
"I do," Cameron immediately says. Eager and obedient.
"I do," I repeat. True and faithful and full of so much love I think I might burst from it.
"And I do want you to fuck me again," Cameron whispers as he creeps his hand between us and finds my soft dick. Doesn't stay that way for long though. His small hands make quick work of that. "I want you to fuck me while we watch me hot twinking for you. Please, Trev, pretty please?”
"Well, when you ask like that," I chuckle. How can I deny him this? I turn the volume all the way up before hitting the play button on the screen of his phone…and reach over to the nightstand for our rings. I slide Cameron’s onto his hand and he does the same for me.
Maybe I'm not a monster after all. I'm just a man. A dominant. And a husband. Cameron's husband. The love between us was always real, but now the marriage is real too.
This is the first day of the rest of our lives together as husband.
And hot twink.
And nothing will ever part us.