CHAPTER 9
Upon entering Helena and Emeline’s chambers, Kindra realized immediately that her quarters didn’t even come close to how grand the castle could be.
She was standing in a small foyer. On each wall was an archway that led to a different area of Helena’s chambers. To her right she could see an entire library, complete with a fireplace and plush sofas, as well as a desk adorned with piles of papers and scrolls. On her left was a dining room, which was mysteriously empty. Directly before her was an arched doorway that led to what she could only assume was the main sitting room, and beyond that, the bed chamber. Soft chatter drifted from beyond that archway.
A servant greeted her, dipping down into a bow. Kindra cringed inwardly. How would she ever get used to that?
“Her Highness is just through there, my Lady,” the servant said, gesturing to the center arch. Kindra nodded her thanks as she walked into the room.
The sitting room alone was as large as her entire bedchamber, complete with not one but four different sitting areas. Like Kindra’s room, the one wall was entirely lined with windows that stretched all the way up to the ceiling. The sky was a swirl of orange and pink beyond the glass. The walls and floors were light as well, the furniture mostly cream, pale gold, or, oddly enough, a deep turquoise.
Despite the grandeur of it all, though, it felt lived in. There were blankets and throw pillows on every seat, stacks of books on the surfaces. To use Helena’s own word, it felt cozy .
A squeal cut through Kindra’s thoughts, and she turned to see Helena hurrying over from where she’d been sitting on a sofa near a white marble fireplace.
“I’m so glad you decided to come!” The princess grasped Kindra’s hands, beaming. “You look lovely. Emeline, come here!”
A woman rose from the same sofa, her hair as black as night. It rippled like a sleek curtain as she stood, falling down to her waist and swaying with her hips as she walked. She was clad in a sapphire off-the-shoulder gown, the gauzy sleeves billowing out around her. As she got closer, Kindra could see the startling ice blue of her eyes, a sign of her water magic, appearing all the more brilliant against the warm brown of her skin.
“So, this is who’s given Jasper such a hard time these past few weeks?” she drawled, her voice a low, rich harmony to Helena’s bright melodic tone. Emeline gave a crescent-moon grin. “You’ll fit in with us just fine, if what we’ve heard about the screaming matches is true.”
Kindra blushed, embarrassed that this was her first impression. “It wasn’t—”
Emeline threw her head back and laughed. Beside her, Helena’s eyes danced. “Oh, don’t bother. Heinrich already came and told us all about it this afternoon.”
At the mention of the nervous Wavebreaker, Kindra grimaced. She hadn’t appreciated the way he had looked at her like she was some sort of feral animal, always afraid she’d snap and burn down everything around her.
Helena, as if she had read her thoughts, waved a hand dismissively. “Heinrich’s not so bad once you get to know him, Kindra. His overwhelming, constant level of concern for everything is almost charming, sometimes.” She turned back to the sofa, placing her hand on Emeline’s waist as she did so. “He’s one of Jasper’s best friends, and the head of his guard.” The three of them made their way over to the sitting area, Emeline and Helena taking their places on the couch again, and Kindra sliding into a plush armchair.
“He’s in charge of Jasper’s protection?” Kindra found that hard to believe. A Wavebreaker, and a nervous one at that, responsible for the safety of a prince ?
“I know what you’re thinking—the anxious Wavebreaker might not be the best for the job,” Helena said, and at Kindra’s sheepish shrug, she laughed. “Believe me when I say he has more than earned that position. Jasper trusts nobody else with his safety more than Heinrich.”
Kindra hummed, considering that maybe she’d gotten off on the wrong foot with the guardsman. After all, she could understand being fiercely protective of the people she cared about. “So does every member of your family have a personal squad of guards?” she asked.
“Our,” Helena corrected softly. Kindra cocked her head slightly, brow furrowing. “Our family,” the princess repeated, “You’re part of it now.”
Kindra tried to stifle her reaction. She really did. But her hands tightened on the armrests of the chair anyway, and her face twitched slightly as she tried to fight the flinch.
Emeline frowned. “What’s the matter?”
Kindra shook her head quickly, choosing to focus her gaze on the fireplace. The fire flickering there was getting low. She could feel its wheezing gasps in her veins. She took a deep, fortifying breath, and as she exhaled, she brought the flames back to life. Helena let out a soft squeak of delight.
“It has been a long journey. Lots of changes,” was all she said, turning back to them and offering a tight smile. Neither of them looked convinced. Desperate to change the subject, she asked, “So what’s for dinner?”
The two ladies exchanged a glance, and then Helena replied, “Roast lamb and vegetables, seasoned potatoes, rolls, and some chocolate cake for dessert.”
In response, Kindra’s stomach growled rather loudly. Emeline barked a laugh, and to her relief, the tension eased.
“I will send a message for them to hurry up, then,” Helena chuckled, and nodded at the servant posted by the doorway.
“How are you finding your chambers, Kindra?” Emeline inquired, grabbing a glass of wine from the end table and taking a sip.
“Big,” Kindra said, then added, “and beautiful, of course. But they’re very… different from what I had in Harthwin.”
“They’re yours until you decide otherwise,” Helena informed her. “If you choose to move into Jasper’s quarters, it’ll be a suite just like this—”
“I think I’ll be just fine in my chambers,” she blurted, and mentally kicked herself for not watching her tongue.
The golden-haired princess only smirked though and moved over to a nearby bar cart to pour herself a drink. “Not liking my little brother too much, eh?”
“Hard to like somebody you hardly know,” Kindra replied, turning her focus to the fire again.
“You’ll get to know him. You’ll have lots of time leading up to the wedding to do just that.” Helena made her way back to the couch, sitting down and pressing close to her wife.
She seemed to have a habit of saying what she thought were reassuring things that were actually not reassuring at all.
Kindra didn’t respond, and after a moment she felt a hand on her arm. When she looked over, she found Helena leaning forward, her soft gray eyes intense. “He is a kind person, I assure you,” she said, entirely serious. “There is a reason I am close to him and not my other brothers.”
Anxiety pooled in Kindra’s stomach at the mention of the two older brothers. This was the second time in a day she’d been warned about them, and that didn’t sit well with her. “Are they really so cruel?”
Emeline laughed dryly. “It is the Annalindis family, Kindra. There’s a curse for a reason.” Helena shot the Wavebreaker a sharp look. “What? I think it’s best if she’s warned before she has to deal with them.”
“Is it that bad?” Kindra breathed, suddenly feeling panicked. “How did they treat you?”
“It’s mostly mind games and not-so-subtle jabs, honestly. But after a few weeks of that, I just wanted to battle it out in a sparring match and be done with it. That is, of course, what they want. They want you to snap, so then everything they say about you—that you’re a poor, stupid, classless girl from some sad little village—will be right.” Emeline’s blue eyes gleamed. “If even a fraction of what Heinrich said is true, then I know you’re going to want to snap.”
“So how did you handle it?”
“Went to the training ground every day, flung water around for a couple hours and got the anger out. It was mostly jealousy, anyway. Hel and I made quite the stir when we announced our intent to marry.” Emeline gave Helena a fond look. “I’m a baker’s daughter, not worth the dirt on her shoe—that’s what some people said. But she never wavered in her decision. Neither of us did.”
Kindra felt a small tug of longing in her chest at the soft glow that fell over both of them when they looked at each other. In another world, perhaps she would have found something like that: a genuine connection and love. Doubtful, seeing as she most likely would’ve never left Harthwin, and there hadn’t been anyone there who’d ever thought of her that way. But a part of her had always wondered if she’d ever meet somebody who would find her power beautiful rather than terrifying. Somebody who would embrace her love of freedom instead of trying to restrain her.
A useless hope to have now.
She distracted herself from that depressing string of thoughts by focusing on what Emeline had said. “You really have access to a training ground? Every day?” She didn’t bother to tamp down the eagerness in her voice.
“Oh, yes. They never denied me when I asked, once the engagement was official. So they certainly won’t say no to you.”
“I told you,” Helena chastised lightly. “Did you not believe me?”
“It just seemed too good to be true,” Kindra admitted, shrugging apologetically. “I’m sorry, I—I just don’t know what my life is going to be now. How it will look anymore. I don’t know how to… to do any of this.” She gestured helplessly at herself, the room around them, the grandeur of it all.
“Oh Kindra,” Helena said, “I have known nothing but this for my whole life, and some days, I hardly have a clue.”
Dinner arrived a short time later and was unsurprisingly the best food Kindra had ever had. She struggled to hold back several sighs of delight, trading them for enthusiastic compliments. She figured that was the classier reaction. But she was quickly realizing that she didn’t need to put on a front for Helena and Emeline. The two women were unfiltered and authentic, only putting on what Emeline referred to as their “royal masks” when servants came in and out with more food and drink. When it was just the three of them in the dining room though, it felt far less like a dinner with royalty and much more like a meal with friends. Kindra found herself loosening up, answering questions about her upbringing without hostility or wariness, and laughing , truly laughing for the first time in weeks.
“So, how exactly did you two meet?” Kindra asked as they waited for dessert.
“My father is the owner of a bakery in the middle district of Wendrith. We’re from Dewport, down near Breyenth, originally, and moved here when I was five for a better life,” Emeline began, “We had a rough first few years here, but now, it’s one of the more popular bakeries in the city—”
“And by that, she means the most popular,” Helena interjected with a grin. “That’s how we met. He made my birthday cake when I turned thirteen and came to personally deliver it himself. And he just happened to bring his daughter with him.”
“Hel invited me to attend her extravagant birthday ball. Lent me a dress and everything for the occasion. I thought she was just doing something nice to thank my father for the cake or to get points with her high-class friends for being charitable.”
“But the truth was I was lonely. I didn’t have any close friends, just other girls my age to pass the time with, but they were all either mean, or worse—boring.” Helena frowned, then smiled once more and looked at her wife fondly. “But Emeline was neither of those things.”
“She had no idea what I was, actually,” Emeline quipped. “I hardly said a word to her before she extended the invitation, I was so scared. I don’t think I said more than a few sentences the entire night either.”
“That’s true—except when Anya Mireldis made that comment to me—”
“Oh, gods, yes, I almost forgot! Hard to keep track of all the times that bitch and I’ve gone head-to-head.” Emeline rolled her eyes. “She came up to you, and said something shitty about your dress, right? I can’t even remember now.”
“Honestly, neither do I,” Helena admitted, laughing. “I’m sure it was something that wouldn’t even faze me now, but at thirteen, if someone so much as looked at me wrong, I was a mess.”
Kindra smiled, recalling how she’d been at that age—so quick to ignite and melt down. You’re still like that , a voice in her head whispered, and she quickly silenced it .
“Anyway,” the princess continued, “Emeline had been standing next to me the whole night, utterly silent. But when Anya made her little jab, she looked her up and down, and simply said, Interesting .” She dissolved into a fit of giggles. “Anya had no idea what to say to that, though to be fair, I did drag us away before she could try and assault Em with thorns.”
Kindra found herself laughing, too. She could see it in her head: a young Emeline looking some Alverin noble in the face and demolishing their confidence with one simple, effective word.
“After that night, I found myself traveling into the city to go to her family’s bakery and see her. And coming up with more excuses to order their delicious cakes and pastries. Emeline became a regular fixture in my life seemingly overnight. She was my breath of fresh air, my reprieve from everything else around here.” Helena reached over and grabbed Emeline’s hand. “She still is.”
Something in Kindra’s chest pulled again at that. A feeling she didn’t want to put a name to.
“When we were sixteen, our friendship turned into something more. Neither of us can really pinpoint the exact moment things changed. We just grew from one type of love into another. And we kept it quiet, for the first few months—Jasper didn’t even know. But he figured it out eventually.”
“How’d he react?” Kindra asked, surprisingly curious.
“Honestly? I think he was jealous. He’d never really looked forward to the arranged marriage in his future. He’s always been a romantic at heart—something his status was never really compatible with.” Helena gave Kindra a sympathetic look. “For what it’s worth.”
It isn’t worth a damn thing, Kindra thought to herself. “When did you get married?”
“When we were twenty, I went before my parents and asked for their blessing. They’d known about our relationship for a few years at that point—and knew it was serious, too, despite their misgivings about Emeline’s class. If I were a son instead of a daughter, they never would have allowed it to continue that long—the marriage process for men in this family is much more complicated, as you know. But any child I might bear—if the baby could even survive the pregnancy or birth—would be undoubtedly magic-less, just like me. So for the past century, the daughters of the royal family have essentially been given free rein to marry whomever they please. Father wasn’t super happy about it, of course, because I went and picked a water-wielding commoner , but what point would there be in saying no?” She laughed, but nothing felt funny. “If it won’t aid in breaking the curse and bringing him more power, he doesn’t really give a shit.”
A heavy silence fell over them for a few seconds, shattered by Emeline. “We were married pretty quickly after that. And then I got to sit back and watch all the nobility that had practically spat on me for years—especially once our engagement was announced—realize they no longer outranked me.” A wicked smile bloomed across her lips. “Now that was satisfying.”
Kindra opened her mouth to reply but was interrupted by dessert being brought in: thick slices of chocolate cake, as promised. She had thought she’d barely have any room left to eat it, having cleaned her plate earlier, but a newfound hunger sprang to life as it was set in front of her.
For a few minutes, the conversation was paused as they each devoured their cake. Kindra thought it couldn’t have gotten any better than the dinner, but she was wrong. She looked up from her sweet, cakey bliss and noticed Emeline giving her a small smile. Then the pieces clicked into place.
“Is this…?”
Emeline nodded. “Yep. Papa brings an assortment of treats to the castle at least once every couple weeks. Has for the last decade.”
“I bet that pays well,” Kindra commented.
“Oh, it did, before he demanded they stop paying him.” At Kindra’s surprise, Emeline clarified: “The bakery is doing so well now he doesn’t need it. He’d rather they’d spend it on people who need it more. And it’s kind of just an excuse to see me, at this point.”
Kindra’s heart twinged. A wave of longing for her mother washed over her, and she swallowed it down with another bite of cake. “Do you not get to see him often?” she asked.
Emeline shrugged. “I try, but it’s not so easy to just go into the city, anymore. Have to bring my guards with me, which kind of ruins the intimacy of visiting family, even if they just stay posted outside.” She gave Kindra a knowing look. “I can’t imagine that level of hovering will go over well with you.”
“It won’t,” she admitted, and was unashamed to say so. “I’m very used to being alone and in full control of my whereabouts. ”
“I was too,” Emeline said, then corrected: “Well, am. I still find my ways, of course. I’d go crazy if I didn’t.”
“I hope you’ll be willing to share some of those secrets, then,” Kindra laughed, but deep down she knew she’d need any help she could get.
“Oh, don’t you worry,” Emeline replied with a wink, “I’ll let you in on all my tricks.”
With their meal finished, the table was cleared, and drinks refilled one last time. Kindra sipped slowly on a glass of sweet-smelling wine; she’d never had much of an opportunity to drink in Harthwin, so she thought it would be smart to tread carefully. It was getting late, too; much later than she’d planned to stay. Time flies when you’re having fun, I suppose, she thought, and was surprised to find the sentiment didn’t have as much bitterness around it as she expected. Perhaps it was the wine.
But it wasn’t the wine that was making her so tired. Even after her nap, she still felt heavy with exhaustion, having not yet slept off the weeks of traveling. Despite Helena and Emeline’s best efforts to keep the conversation lively, Kindra’s eyelids began to droop, and her responses to their questions and stories became less and less enthusiastic.
Helena caught on quickly. “Well, I think it’s time to call it a night, don’t you agree, Em?” she said, clapping her hands and standing. “Kindra needs her rest for tomorrow.”
Kindra stood, stifling a yawn as she did so. The princess came around the table and embraced her warmly. “I’m so glad you decided to dine with us tonight. The three of us will be thick as thieves in no time, I can tell!” Her smile was a beam of glowing light, and Kindra couldn’t help but bask in it.
Emeline gave her a hug and a conspiratorial grin. “I’ll keep you sane here,” she vowed. Kindra was too tired to properly express how grateful she was for that offer.
She made her way into the foyer as though she were in a daze. For the first time since she’d left Harthwin, she felt hope. Hope that maybe, even though she’d be stuck in an arranged marriage, she’d at least have friends to pass the time with.
At least she wouldn’t be so alone.
The thought of friendship—something she hadn’t had since she was a child—made her smile. She was still smiling as she bid Helena and Emeline good night, and made her way out of their chambers, stepping into the dimly lit castle hallway, where she expected a guard would be waiting to escort her to her room.
Only there was no guard.
Instead, Kindra stepped into the hallway and ran straight into Jasper.