Chapter 5
CHAPTER FIVE
I ventured further into the Black Forest, and it felt like the trees themselves mourned with me. The rough bark felt solid and comforting, and I could almost swear the tree shivered beneath my dirt covered fingertips.
I could always count on nature.
The last handful of moist loam slipped between my fingers as I finished covering Waren. It wasn’t a blessed cemetery, but… maybe, just maybe, I could bless this little plot of land with magic? It wasn’t the same, but I had an intriguing suspicion that… maybe it could work.
Bent fingers tentatively rested on the loosened soil, making shallow depressions as I reached inside until I felt my magic respond. Sluggish at first, I pulled harder until it flowed at a steady trickle.
Magic coursing steadily, I directed it to the ground, willing it to infuse the small plot I had buried Waren. Encasing him, I willed my magic to ensure no further harm could befall him.
I encouraged my magic to permeate the ground, and refused to give up until I was sure it was complete. Safe. My arms were shaking at the strain by the time I finished, and I sat back on my heels.
There, that felt… right. I reached my hand out to hover above the mound of dirt, and could feel the residual tingle of magic. No one with ill intent could disturb this section of earth. I nodded to myself in satisfaction.
I couldn’t protect him while he was with me, but at least his final resting place was filled with peace. The wind teased through the boughs above, and I watched the dappled play of light as it danced across the dirt covered mound.
Now what?
The thought echoed through my mind and the desolate future felt interminable. The distant future looked so bleak now, and I felt - aimless. Cast out of my home at sixteen and now homeless and burying my lover on the same day… My emotions from the day seemed to swell over me like a great tide, crashing over my head and overwhelming me. I sank to the ground and let them flow.
My heartache poured from my eyes, and I let it consecrate the ground further. As my tears mixed with the soil, my magic stirred, and I felt it rise as if my heightened emotions were calling to it. I let it. It felt fitting that I mark his passing by giving my magic free reign. The magic he loved and that ultimately brought us together. After all, it was because of magic that his Fae ancestors were hunted to near extinction. It was because of magic that he and I were able to meet. And it was because of magic that the people of Bur?l, and really all of Verlen, were not welcome.
So I gave my magic free reign to swell and strengthen, to stretch out like I’d never allowed it before, not even as a child.
As it continued to grow, the tears slowly dried upon my face, and I marveled at the vastness I felt within me, as if every nook and cranny I had was being filled to the brim, and leaving no room even for sorrow.
I hiccuped, the feeling of power exhilarating, and raised my arms to see if the magic I felt so strongly was visible upon my skin. I gasped as a faint shimmer, like a second skin, seemed to eek out of my pores.
My eyes raised to view the forest and laughter spilled from my lips as the glorious magic within the Dark Forest slipped out of hiding, as if it too felt the bond between us and welcomed me as kin. As it welcomed me home .
No longer would I be subject to the muted whispers and the insults slung from behind hushed hands. No longer would I feel like a stranger without a true home. This - this wondrous wood which welcomed me as one if its own would be my new home. The place I could finally plant true roots.
I laughed again, and the sound peeled out of me like a gong, bouncing from tree to tree. Reaching out to the nearest tree, I gazed at its breathtaking bark, unable to restrain from wrapping my arms around its circumference. Warmth from it transferred to me as if returning the hug, and I felt that warmth in my bones. Comforting me back as I basked in its welcome.
Another gasp ripped out of me as the wind decided to join in, swirling around me and playing with the edges of my skirts as if it were a mischievous child. Laughing, I joined it, kicking up my feet and following along its path as we played together in joyful companionship.
The wind teased me along the edges of a rippling brook, pushing me along its edges. It looked so peaceful and inviting, I wished to dip my toes into the calm water. The wind disagreed and tugged me back to the path, but I resisted, the pull of the water calling to me with gentle tones.
I dipped my toes into the frigid water and startled, and reality crashed over my head. My magic was a maelstrom within me, taking over me, and I burned with the heat of it. I was hot - too hot!
Frantically I tried to manage my magic, get it back under control before it burned me from the inside out. It resisted, unwilling to lessen its potency. My heart raced as the heat filled my veins, and my blood felt like it was boiling. I was going to burn!
“Get into the water!”
I obeyed the voice and dunked into the small brook, hoping it was enough to cool me down from the fevered heat.
Like a fire, my magic winked out to a simple simmer, and I wrestled it back into submission as sweat poured down, mixing with the icy water.
The wind, once inviting and playful, now felt malevolent and vengeful as it tore through my sodden clothes, and I shivered my way to the bank once more. I didn’t recognize where I was, and - it seemed at some point I had even lost my shoes.
With a flutter of wings, Fiach landed on my shoulder and glared at me.
“D-don’t g-give me that l-look. You have n-no idea what-t I’ve just b-been through. Where were you?” Even through shivering teeth my voice broke as the reality that I almost lost myself to my magic settled in. I was freezing cold and in no mood to deal with his judgment on top of everything else.
“Yes I do, I’ve been following your idiotic ass since you first entered the Black Forest! Do you have any idea of the danger you just put yourself in?”
My jaw dropped to the ground, and I almost followed it. “You - you can t-talk?”
The - now talking - raven rolled his eyes at me. Rolled. His. Eyes. “Of course I can talk, all familiars can talk. Old news. I want to know how you managed to get filled with so much black magic! Why would you allow yourself to be swayed like that?”
I’m being judged by a talking raven. A talking raven who - “D-did you j-just call yourself a f-familiar?” If I ignored the black magic bit maybe I could convince myself that wasn’t what happened.
“I thought you were smarter than this.” He ruffled his feathers, and I had the distinct feeling he was ruffling them at me.
I narrowed my eyes at him. “Fiach,” I warned, “I am n-not in the m-mood. Exp-p-plain yourself.”
“Having me explain, as if she herself has nothing to explain at all,” he muttered, half under his breath. “Of course I can talk, I am your familiar. All familiars gain the ability to speak once they are chosen. This is old news.”
He talked as if explaining to a child, and if I had feathers, they would definitely be ruffling at him. He peered at me, and seemed to come to the same conclusion, because he switched to a more teacherly vibe that - while annoying - wasn’t as grating.
“Now that I have explained, what do you have to say for yourself?” He looked pointedly at my wet clothing and my shivering body. “Actually, let’s get you somewhere warm first, then you can explain.”
I nodded, more than down with this plan as I attempted to rub some warmth back into my arms.
Looking around, nothing looked familiar. Exactly how far had I walked?
“H-how far t-to the v-v-village?”
“If you hurry, we can make it by nightfall. Follow me, I know a shortcut.”
Judging by the shadows, I had several hours of walking ahead of me. My entire body was one big, continuous shudder.
At least walking would help me stay warm. I hoped.
Walking through a magical forest while wearing wet clothing is not something I would wish on my worst enemy.
Well, maybe my worst.
By the time the moon had risen, my clothes stopped dripping, but they never seemed to fully dry. The damp cloth chafed, and I had begun limping, my feet tender and sore from the sharp twigs and occasional rough ground. But sleeping in the moody forest wasn’t an option unless I wanted to freeze, so I kept walking.
Fiach tried getting me to talk about the black magic, but I was firmly trying to forget about what just happened. My single syllable responses finally convinced him to stop talking about it, and in retaliation he stayed far enough ahead of me that conversation was impossible. Probably for the best, my mood was far from sweet.
Following Fiach as he flew from branch to branch, waiting for me to catch up before fluttering to the next one, I lost track of how far I had been walking. Instead, I used the time to attempt to figure out my next steps. I had zero desire to return to the burnt out husk that used to be my home, and all my belongings were ash. Living with Ida wasn’t an option, as she was a live-in nanny for Dahle, the shopkeeper. She lived in a tiny bedroom with barely any room to walk as part of her pay. Truthfully, I had no real desire to stay in Bur?l at all. Maybe it was time for a change of scenery, perhaps even moving to the seashore. I’d heard M?rben was a thriving port, mayhap I could earn my keep as a healer. At that thought, I remembered my crystal. Reaching into my pocket I rubbed the smooth stone and anguish rose up like a whirlwind, but I pushed it back. This crystal, for all its memories, would sell for enough to give me a fresh start, and really, that was a far greater purpose than allowing it to lay to waste. I knew Waren would approve. I sighed, it wasn’t a great plan, but it was the best my shivering head could come up with.
But I still needed someplace to sleep for tonight. Maybe I could barter with Afflerbac for a room, she owed me a favor for healing her milk cow last month.
By the time I finally neared Bur?l my body was in revolt. I needed a dry change of clothes, warm food, and sleep. In that order. I glanced over my attire and attempted to make myself look halfway presentable. I couldn’t do much about the torn and disheveled clothing, so I smoothed my hair and tried to rid myself of most of the dirt. Fiach scoffed, and I could tell my attempt was less than successful.
Still. Best to put your best foot forward when throwing yourself at someone’s mercy.
With a roll of his eyes, Fiach flew off into the Black Forest, leaving me safely at the edge of the village. I rolled my shoulders and cut between two buildings, too tired to stick to the main roads. I squinted at the pale moonlight, tired and irritated, and simply wanted to get to Afflerbac before it was too late for polite company.
“Going somewhere?”
My heart jumped as I glanced around for the owner of the oily voice. My gaze fell on Arne, and he was close enough I could smell his fermented breath. “I’m late to meet Afflerbac, excuse me.” I tried to scoot around him, but he moved in front of me. Most men, when they get drunk, get sloppy or unsteady. Not Arne - he get’s mean and laser focused. I’d always avoided him on instinct as he would come in from logging, and now I kicked myself for not paying better attention.
“Now, that’s just rude.” He braced his thick arm in front of me, blocking me against the brick wall. “I’m just wanting a bit of company, eh?”
“Sorry, maybe next time.” I moved to push past him, and he grabbed me roughly. “Get off!” I screamed.
A clammy hand covered my mouth, muffling my scream.
“Now, that’s no way to be neighborly, see? A dirty girl like you can’t be too proud to spend some time with Arne. I’ve got plans, you see. Plans that have been a long time coming.”
The grimy laugh that rolled out of him settled in my bones, making them feel brittle and weak. I struggled out of his grasp, but even drunk he was stronger than me. His other hand began fisting my skirt, raising it higher and higher, and my movements became more frantic.
I sobbed against his hand as I tried to strike back at him, but I was only able to land glancing blows at his side as I flung my fists back towards him. He snarled at my attempts, his fetid breath brushing my ears in mockery as his fingers gripped my bare thigh, then traveled up to where my thighs joined.
My stomach heaved as he grabbed me cruelly, and I tried to escape his plunging fingers, but he simply let go of my mouth and grabbed my wrist, wrapping my arm around myself so he had better leverage to hold me against him as his fingers continued their brutal groping.
Surely someone could hear me screaming. Why was no one coming to help?
“Now just hold still little girl, this won’t take long. I’ve waited a long time for you, I’m going to enjoy this.”
His ruthless chuckle had me thrashing harder, and my mind began to separate from my body. It felt like I was floating above my body, watching the scene unfold instead of partaking in the evil scene. The scent of gingerbread filled my nostrils, and I heard the tinkling of his belt.
Incongruously, my fingertips began to glow. I stilled, eyes focused on my hands, my mind trying to comprehend what I was seeing, and I felt my chest expand with power. Power continued to flow, filling my chest full to bursting, and I whimpered at the pain of it. Yet, I encouraged it more, my blood began to boil, yet still I encouraged it to fill. More. I needed more .
He would not get away with this.
I heard his pants hit the cobbled streets, and as his foul breath crossed my ear one more time, I simply let go.