Chapter 28 Donovan
TWENTY-EIGHT
Donovan
Night falls quicker than I want it to.
Quicker than I’m ready for.
I’m pacing the hall outside of the room where most of Astra’s stuff still resides.
If we make it through tonight, that will be the first thing I change. She won’t be a guest in my house. She’ll be moving in. Her things will be in my room. She’ll sleep in my bed.
I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m not letting her go. Not even death will keep us apart, I don’t care if I have to pull her down to Hell with me. We’re connected. We’re meant to be, as ridiculous as that sounds.
Astra is mine.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this anxious,” Torrin says as he stands near the landing of the stairs. He’s wearing a red suit, black tie, and a stupid headband with cheap-looking red horns. Oh, and they light up. This isn’t the first time I’ve rolled my eyes at his so-called costume.
He’s right, and since we both know it, there’s no sense in trying to deny I’m a mess as I wait to see what Astra’s wearing.
He thinks this situation is funny.
But he only knows half of the things that are causing me to pace.
I’ve never kept anything from him, and perhaps, this is the worst time to start.
I’d love to say that I’m keeping secrets for everyone else’s benefit or even safety, but even I can’t buy that bullshit.
I’m a selfish man, and what I want more than just about anything is to see Astra experience her first Halloween.
I want to see her lose herself and enjoy tonight.
She can’t do that if everyone is emotionally tiptoeing around her.
One way or another, she’d pick up on the tension and unease.
As it is, I’m worried Fabien is going to crack. My idea was to send him home, but Andre doesn’t seem to want to let him go, and I fucking need Andre with me tonight.
I suppose I can’t hate Fabien. If his theory is right, I may have found a way out of this.
I guess we’ll see.
“You look good,” Torrin says, pulling me from my thoughts. His head is cocked to the side, and I don’t like the way he’s taking me in with a confused look.
I glower at him and grunt.
I look normal.
Astra told me to wear a suit.
Not that I would have indulged her had her costume idea been outrageous. I do have a reputation to keep, no matter that it’s Halloween.
Fuck, no matter this being the possible end.
I won’t go out looking like a fucking… clown.
“Not like you’re about to play the other half to your girlfriend’s costume, but still good,” he goes on.
I can’t help but snort and shake my head at him.
He definitely notices how I don’t even bother correcting him.
“I was really hoping for something like mustard and ketchup bottles. I would kill to see you in one of those.” He looks way too amused with himself. “What did she pick out, anyway?”
“No clue,” I grunt, turning my attention back to her door.
We were out for hours. I took her to a special shop and she tried on three things.
I was sure she’d go with the blue princess dress when she came out twirling in it with the biggest smile plastered across her face, but we ended up leaving empty-handed.
I had been half tempted to buy it anyway so she could just wear it whenever she wanted.
We ended up going through a few vintage clothing places, and she never let me see what she bought.
All the secrecy had been… irritating and slightly arousing.
I’m just about to step out for a smoke to take the edge off when I hear steps from inside her room moving closer.
My breath freezes in my lungs as the door pulls open. Astra steps out with a coy, almost hesitant, smile on her face.
She has her hair tucked away under a felt hat.
A few pieces stick out, but it’s not enough to take away from the bright red staining her sexy lips.
The nude-colored top she has on is silky and frilly with a line of buttons down the front.
Her seductive, curvy hips and thick thighs are being hugged by a straight skirt, which begins to flare out under her knees and stops mid-calf.
On her feet are a pair of vintage heels that make me want to see her in nothing but them.
I’m definitely confused as she comes at me with a fedora in her hands. She places it on my head, a little crooked, and I resist the urge to fix it.
Torrin snorts, but I pay him no mind. Not even as his feet carry him down the stairs a second later.
Astra slips her hand inside my jacket, and I tense when she touches the gun I have tucked at my side.
“I would have gotten you a gun, but you already have one,” she whispers as she pushes up on her toes and stares me dead in the eye. She’s smirking. “You ready to rob a bank?”
And it fucking hits me.
“This is a little fucked up, you know?” I say to her. I’m doing my best to hide how I’m fucking loving it because I have an unhinged sense of humor.
I’m even a little hard over it.
“I’m aware,” she replies with a sexy smirk that has a deadly edge to it.
It’s like the fucking universe made her for me and sent her as a sick joke. I get her for such a short time. The perfect one for me. A little innocent. A little twisted. And she doesn’t even judge me for the monster I am.
The look she gives me is a glimmer of light in my dark, grumpy life.
And it hits me like a fucking sledgehammer to the chest.
I love her.
I don’t just care for her. I don’t just want to protect her. It’s not simply enough to want to burn the world down to make her happy.
I fucking love her.
“We’re not Bonnie and Clyde,” I say.
“No,” she shoots back, a glimmer of sadness in her eyes. “But we’re not going to end much differently.”
I snake my arms around her waist and hold her close.
“We’re not going out like this,” I vow, even if I’m not certain of how I’m going to keep us alive. “The night isn’t over yet.”
“Correct,” she says with a playful tone as she pulls out of my embrace. “And we have much to do.”
With a light, playful air surrounding her, she hikes up her skirt and practically bounces down the stairs.
I don’t even bother to hide the way my eyes stay glued to her ass.
Damn me and my mouth. If I hadn’t agreed to take her out tonight, we could be naked and I could be buried deep inside her right now.
I give a small sigh as I tell myself there’s a reason I agreed to this.
Seeing her smile as she glances at me over her shoulder is all the reminder I need.
Astra’s happiness might just mean more to me than my own.
I’m royally fucked.