Chapter Nineteen. In Which There Is Far Too Much Resting #3
“Our bogeyman just eats disobedient children,” Amina said with a little laugh. “He doesn’t bother with kidnapping.”
“I think El Cuco eventually gobbles children up, too.”
“You really never worried it would come for you?” Risa asked.
“I wanted it to,” he said, nonchalant. “I wanted to know what it was like to be wanted.”
Risa dared another look. She was struck with the sudden desire to reach over and smooth away the line between his brows with the pad of her thumb.
To brush his curls aside and tuck them into place until he was the jovial prince with nary a care in the world again.
She wanted to tug his smile back, to pull the corners up until his typical air of mischief had returned.
If she were an artist—whether with paintbrush or chisel or words—she would have done anything to erase the grief in his gaze.
Javi—beautiful, infuriating, shockingly kind, and loved by all, no matter the broken hearts left in the wake of his tornado—was no different from her. Desperate to be needed by someone who saw him for what he really was.
Paulo appeared beside Amina, and Risa shook herself.
“We should get going. We want to be on the road before dawn fully breaks.”
Amina, holding Brunie, was to ride with him up front, while Risa and Javi were to lie down in the back, a canvas tarp pulled over them. Paulo had placed two ruanas on the wooden cart floor. They’d soften the bumpy ride, he explained, and later serve them in San Cirilo as well.
When Risa climbed inside after Javi, Paulo pulled the cover over their heads, and darkness enveloped them in stifling heat.
Risa fell asleep after munching on dried fruit snacks Paulo had left for them. She was too tired to fight the wave of exhaustion, and something about being so close to Javi that she might brush his arm or face if she reached out was too much for her cursed heart to bear.
She was roused by a violent jolt when Paulo ran over a rock. It knocked her head against the wooden floor of the cart with an audible thunk, and she hissed at the sudden pain.
She had no time to recover before she felt Javi’s fingers kneading the back of her head.
“Are you all right?” he asked. Dim light filtered through the weave of the tarp, sending gold streaks across his face and hair.
“Me too,” she said without thinking.
Javi canted his head, confused. “What?”
“As a kid, I mean. I wanted to know what it was like to be wanted, too,” she said in a rush, unable to stop the words. “To belong.” Clearly, the bump had dislodged all concern for self-preservation.
His eyes widened a fraction, a smile lifting his lips. “I’ve been waiting for this reveal.”
“Forget I said anything,” she snapped, pulling away.
“Sorry, sorry,” he said quickly, capturing her wrist and pulling her closer. “Please, go on. I’m eager for any morsel of you and your story.”
That made her stomach somersault. Either Brunhilda’s magic or the heat of the cart was making her lightheaded.
She shouldn’t wait for the Regent to break her curse. She should throw herself out of the cart now, before it was too late, before Javi was caught in the web of her curse and she lost him, too.
But the words were a jumble in her mouth, and what came out was only a half-truth.
“I grew up without friends, shunned by the town.” Risa tugged her bottom lip between her teeth.
“At first, I thought if I was nice to the other kids, they’d like me.
I followed them around, begged them to let me join their games, to be their friend.
But they returned my attention by calling me names.
“So I started being the Bad Thing they thought I was. When the neighborhood kids were horrible, I was worse. When they threw pebbles, I threw rocks. When they threw rocks, I set traps. I realized, if everyone was going to blame me for being terrible, I might as well be. I could be their monster.”
Amina was right. There were monsters everywhere. Some were born, and some were made. Risa had no idea which one she was.
“Risa.”
Javi’s voice was close. Too close. She could not bear to look at him. Yet she lifted her gaze and was awestruck by how very handsome he looked even with sweat peppered over his nose and dotting his temple.
“Yes?” It came out a whisper. Barely a word. She was terrified that he might have divined the truth about her, seen the monster lurking under her skin. Terrified he would banish her or, worse, tell her to stay.
“I’ve been trying to tell you. If you are a monster, then I—” He swallowed. His hand rose like it was being pulled by a string, his fingertips inches from grazing her jaw.
They were frozen in that moment. She watched in fascination as his eyelashes fluttered, and her heart threatened to catapult itself through her rib cage. Brunhilda’s spell was hard at work despite him being right there, sharing the same breath in the stifling heat.
Another bump sent them flailing in opposite directions, a muffled “Ow!” coming from Javi’s curled-up lump of a body.
Risa might have been riddled with bad luck, but she was grateful for it then. When the tarp lifted away, she was the first one out.