Chapter 24 #2
“What does that have to do with anything?” I gritted my teeth. The worst thing about knowing someone for as long as I had known him was things like this. You couldn't hide your emotions.
“You didn’t want her to know something was wrong with you.”
Bastard. Of course, he’d seen straight through me. “Knowing about my curse isn’t relevant to her. Neither is anything else about me. She’s just a means to an end.” The words tasted like acid in my mouth, but I pushed away the sensation.
“Right, sure.” His sarcastic smirk turned into a lazy grin. “If you think letting her touch your wings and giving her a piece of your soul to save her life is a means to an end, then that’s fine by me. I just want you to be careful.”
“I am careful.”
“Usually, you are. But your mage has a tendency to make you act on impulse. Right now, if she dies, that part of your soul dies too. And it would have been for nothing.”
I looked at the blood-soaked bandages on the floor, my emotions crashing over me.
The remedies Bastian had given me would heal the parts of me that still had Fae essence.
The cursed part healed itself by spreading more darkness through my body like a blight that caused rot.
That part loved the void I’d created when I breathed my soul into Elariya.
Doing so was another reckless move on my part. But I didn’t have to question if I’d do it all over again if I had to. I would.
I couldn’t stop thinking about her hand reaching for mine as she lay in my arms fading from the world of the living. And the way she'd whispered my name like a prayer as if I were one of the saints instead of her monster.
Too many had died in my arms, and I’d refused to allow her to be another.
When death sunk its claws into her soul and wanted to rip her away from me, I’d decided to be a bigger fucker and keep her for myself.
Dangerous thoughts, Wolfe. Dangerous fucking feelings.
I knew I had to rein in my emotions, but that was my truth—I couldn’t let her die.
I flexed my fingers, watching the shadows dance between them. The curse hummed through my blood, a reminder of what was at stake and the journey I still needed to take.
Tonight was as far as my emotions could go. I had to bridle them before they weakened me any further.
I'd allow myself the rest of the voyage to tend to Elariya and bleed whatever this thing was between us out of my system.
Then, as soon as we docked in Galaythia, I'd get my head straight and focus on my plans. I couldn't allow her to distract me from what mattered.
“I have to stay focused, Bastian. It’s imperative. Failure is not an option, regardless of what I sacrificed. Or how I feel about my mage.”
He grinned, appreciating my acknowledgement and bobbed his head in quiet confirmation.
“Once we sail through the Veil, you should feel better, physically and mentally.” His expression relaxed. “The magic in the air should hopefully do the rest of the healing for both of you.”
“Yes, it should.” Good, we’d shifted the conversation.
Bastian crouched and cleared the bandages from the floor. “What are you thinking of this attack tonight? It was odd that a being as powerful as a Ruskiel snuck up on us without us sensing her.”
“Of course, it was odd. The witch even managed to trap us in the shadow’s obscura before we knew what was going on.”
The magical shackle alerted me to her presence, but I couldn’t get to Elariya in time. The moment I stepped out of my chambers, I was swallowed by the shadow realm like the others. The only ones who hadn’t been trapped were Arielle and Sirril. Both had been in the kitchen.
If Arielle hadn’t broken the shield, we might still be stuck in darkness. As handy as the shadow realm was for stealth missions, you could get lost there if dark magic like the Ruskiel’s sealed you inside.
“Chances are she just happened upon us. There are a lot of creatures here. It was just… strange.”
“I’ll ask Arielle to look into it once we’re home.” Right now, I was eager to get off the sea and away from the tempting woman recovering in her chambers.
A quiet knock sounded at the door, then it opened and Arielle walked in. Her eyes found mine straightaway, and the relief was evident when she saw I was sitting up.
“Oh, Wolfe.” She rushed up to me and nearly hugged me, but she stopped herself when she saw the bandages around my chest.
“He’s going to be fine,” Bastian assured her.
She flashed him a look of appreciation before returning her gaze to me. “You scared us half to death.”
“Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. How is Elariya?” The tightness in my chest refused to loosen until I was assured she would be okay.
Arielle gave me a faint nod, her expression weary. “We stabilized her. She’s going to be okay, but she’ll need lots of rest.”
The knots in my soul came free. Elariya was alright. I cut Bastian a glance. He dipped his head, an acknowledgment of our previous conversation. My actions and sacrifice weren’t in vain. And Elariya wasn’t going to die.
“Is she awake?”
“She woke briefly but went back to sleep. We didn’t wake her again. We had a lot of wounds to close, so it was best she was asleep. The leech wounds were everywhere.” Arielle shuddered, bringing her hands to her heart. “Wolfe, what you did for her was… it was beyond heroic. You saved her life.”
I didn’t feel like a hero. But I was damn glad she was going to be okay.
“I’m glad the worst is over and she’s recovering.” I gave her a small smile. “How are Garrick and Alaric?”
“They’ll be just fine. Sirril is making them a healing brew. You need to rest, Wolfe. It’s just gone midnight.”
Only midnight? Gods. I would have believed her more if she said a whole century had passed. “You need to rest, too. As everyone seems to be on the mend, take your leave.”
She shook her head and wrinkled her nose. “I can’t rest after everything that’s happened. That Ruskiel is the scariest thing I’ve ever faced in my life. What if there are more like her? We’re about to pass through the Veil’s trench.”
“The chances of seeing another Ruskiel are slim.”
“But we don’t know.”
Bastian cleaned his hands, walked up to her, and slipped an arm around her shoulder. “Come, you will stay with me for the rest of the night.”
Arielle gazed up at him, her face lightening up at the idea of being with him. “Really? You’d let me stay with you?”
“Of course. I’ll even make you that pumpkin tea you like.”
“I’d love that.” She beamed, clasping her hands.
“I know.”
Bastard. He was scared, too. Scared he could have lost Arielle tonight.
He looked at me and straightened. “Stay here and get some sleep. Best you don’t move around too much. I’ll come back and check on you in the morning.”
“Sure. See you then.”
“Rest up, Wolfe,” Arielle said, tapping my arm. She leaned forward and planted a kiss on my forehead, feeling like another sister to me again.
The two left arm in arm, casting final glances of concern at me. The instant the door clicked shut, I shuffled forward and decided to test my strength.
There was no way I was going to sit in here waiting to heal.
I pushed off the cot, legs trembling as I tested my limit. Pain dragged against every inch of me, but I was steady enough to walk. So, I did.
I kept my shirt off and left the bay, making my way to Elariya’s room.
Once I opened her door, I found her lying on the bed looking like a broken doll. A broken doll with so many bruises covering her face and neck there was hardly a patch of skin that wasn’t marred by the offensive black and blue color.
And she looked drained. Gaunt even. Like the tortured souls with hollow faces who lined the gateway to the underworld.
The shadow of guilt stitched itself into my skin. This wouldn’t have happened to her had she not known me.
I wasn’t supposed to feel guilt for my prisoners, but I made her the exception to the rule.
I moved closer to the bed, pulled up a nearby chair, and sat beside her.
Moonlight and candlelight combined across her chest, guiding my focus there.
So much had happened tonight, I doubted she’d noticed that some elements of her magic had returned. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to help her survive.
It seemed that fear was her trigger, but it had its limits.
She’d portaled when she’d seen the wraith, and tonight, she harnessed air when she needed it.
I’d figured out that her basic elemental power had to be air when she managed to hold her breath for so long and at such a depth in the sea.
Her magic was still weak, but it must have come to her aid in her time of need.
My gaze drifted to her face, wondering how our next conversation would go.
The bottom line was she’d tried to escape. I couldn’t blame her. I would have done the same thing if I were her, especially if what appeared to be a loved one risked their lives to rescue me.
Elariya had also seen my Deathwalker powers tonight. She may not have known I was cursed but she would have guessed just from looking at me in that form that my powers extended beyond the Fae.
But she hadn't cowered from me. When the darkness took over my body and death wore my face, placing its lips on hers, she embraced me.
She saw past the darkness to whatever remained of the male beneath and needed me.
As if she could hear my thoughts, her hand twitched against the dark, silky sheet. I leaned forward and placed mine on top of hers. She was asleep but gripped my finger and held on like she knew I was the monster who would keep her safe.
Those were more dangerous thoughts for me. But I couldn’t resist.
And Gods help me, I couldn’t let her go, either.