Chapter 16
Chapter
Sixteen
“What?” I say in disbelief.
“He’s dead,” she repeats. “The guard found him this morning. He took his own life.”
“But…” My mind stutters to a stop. “Why now? He’s been locked up since I was sixteen. He’s about to get out. Why would he suddenly do this? It doesn’t make any sense.”
“Who the hell knows, Rune? The good news is, you and Julia are free. There’s nothing for you to worry about. He’s gone.”
“Oh my God.” My knees give way, and I slide down the wall until I’m sitting on the floor. “Thank you, Charlotte. Oh my God, thank you so much.”
“I didn’t do anything. But Rune, please don’t ever keep something this important from me again. I just…when I think of you dealing with this all alone, it breaks my heart.” She sniffs, like she’s trying to hold back tears. “You can tell me anything, okay? Jess and I are here for you. Always. We and the girls are your family. You know that, right?”
“I know,” I tell her. And I do. Charlotte wrote me letters the whole time I was in juvie. She never asked me what I’d done to get in trouble, just accepted me when I got out, as if I’d never been gone at all. I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve having her in my life, but whatever it is, I’m grateful for it.
“Good,” she says, in her usual brisk voice. “I’ve got to get back to the girls. They need dinner. But this weekend, we should celebrate. Emma and Sophie have been bugging me like crazy for another painting day with Auntie Rune. Come over and we’ll make those chocolate-peanut butter cupcakes you love, okay?”
I tell her I will, and we hang up. For a moment, I just sit, staring up at the terracotta walls and the rolling hills of the Tuscan villa, in shock.
I’m glad he’s dead. If that makes me a bad person, then so be it. I need to call Julia and tell her. But first, there’s something else I need to do, while I have the courage. Something that will confirm the truth: I’m alive, and the monster isn’t. After everything, I have survived.
In our shared office, I find Donovan studying one of his monitors, the folder Ethan gave him open on his desk. When he sees me, he pushes his chair back and gets to his feet. “Is everything okay?”
“More than okay,” I tell him. “Everything’s great.” And before I can lose my nerve, I round his desk, go to my tiptoes, and press my lips to his.
Donovan doesn’t move. He just stands there, doing his best impression of a statue, and I worry that I’ve made a terrible mistake. That I misinterpreted the tension between us earlier, and now I’ve done something I can never, ever erase. But before I can pull away, Donovan unfreezes. One of his hands rises, cupping my face, holding me still. And then he kisses me back.
His mouth is warm against mine, his lips unexpectedly soft. The kiss is gentle, but his free hand twines roughly in my hair, the low rumble that rises from his chest sending electricity shooting through me. I gasp as he licks along the seam of my lips, and he takes advantage of it, delving inside. His tongue strokes mine as the hand in my hair loosens, trailing down my spine. He tastes like tea and oranges and something deeper, a taste that’s somehow just him .
Gone is the Ice Man. In his place is this guy, who seems to know exactly what to do with his tongue and his hands and oh, God, his teeth, which are currently nipping at my collarbone. His lips ghost along my skin as he kisses away the sting, and I give in to the impulse I’ve had since I met him, running my fingers through the dark strands of his hair. It’s every bit as silky as I imagined, and I can’t resist tugging a little, just to see what he’ll do.
His head comes up, those blue eyes of his fixed on mine with unnerving intensity. God, they’re even more gorgeous up close: sapphire and navy and aquamarine, all swirled together, like the sea on the verge of a storm. I skate my nails along the back of his neck, urging him to kiss me again. But instead, he stumbles backward, right into the corner of his desk, his hip catching the edge of the monitor he was staring at before. It almost pitches onto the floor, but for once he doesn’t even seem to notice.
“Wait, Rune,” he says, tugging at his collar as if it’s too tight. “Just…wait.”
Oh no. Humiliation City, here I come. “Did—did you not want me to do that? Because I thought that before, you?—”
His eyes find mine again, and this time I’m the one struggling to catch my breath. His gaze radiates hunger, and he grips the desk behind him with both hands, so tightly his knuckles are white. “I wanted it,” he grits out. “Obviously. I just… I need a minute.”
“Okay,” I say, because what else can I do?
We stand there, a foot apart, looking anywhere but at each other, the atmosphere between us thick with awkwardness. My mind races, trying to find something to say that will ease the tension in the air, but no words come.
“Look,” I say finally, “maybe I should just?—”
“Why did you do that?” Donovan blurts.
“Kiss you? Um, because I wanted to.” I stare at him in bewilderment. “And I thought you might want me to, too. What other reason could I possibly have?”
His eyes fall to the floor. “You got that phone call,” he says to the hardwood. “And then you came back and you…you…”
“Jumped you?” I can’t help but smile. “Maybe you haven’t noticed, since you’ve only known me for a couple of days, but I can be kind of impetuous sometimes.”
“Oh, I noticed.” He’s still talking to the floor, like he can’t stand to look at me, and the all-too-familiar irritation common to conversations with Donovan Frost sweeps over me again.
“Sorry I didn’t schedule it in your calendar,” I snap. “‘One spontaneous kiss, to take place between the hours of 6:00 and 10:00 p.m.’ Don’t worry, it won’t happen again.”
His head comes up, and the expression on his face floors me. He’s not angry, or cold. Instead, he looks…confused. “No…I didn’t mean…that’s not…”
I take pity on him. “Use your words, Donovan,” I say, but nicely.
He sighs, loosening his death grip on his desk. “You wanted to know why I hate Cooper. I, um, never talk about this. But. Back in high school, I liked a girl. A lot. And I, um, thought she liked me too. She wrote me letters. Stuffed them in my locker. They were, um…” A hint of red tints his cheeks.
“Racy?” I offer.
“Sort of. But mostly they were very…sweet. She said she cared about me. I was, um, kind of nerdy back then. More nerdy,” he says, intercepting my amused glance. “Braces. Bad skin. Worse hair. Kind of your plug-and-play coding geek. But she said she didn’t mind any of that. She said I was nicer than the other guys at school, and smarter, and she knew I was shy but if I asked her out, she would definitely go.” His fingers beat a tattoo on the surface of his desk. “So I…did.”
I have a sinking feeling I know where this is heading. “Donovan,” I say, “you don’t have to tell me.”
He barrels on, as if I haven’t spoken. “She was popular, you know? When I went up to her after school, she was surrounded by a ton of people, including Cooper, who was your basic asshole jock. But I asked her, anyway. And she…she started laughing.”
A wave of sympathy for him washes over me. “Oh, Donovan.”
“She’d made a bet, you see. With Cooper. He bet I’d fall for it. She bet I wouldn’t. If she won—well, who knows. But if he did, well, she had to go out with him.” His jaw tightens. “I spent the rest of my senior year watching the girl I had a huge crush on date my brother, while both of them made fun of me every chance they got. Good times.”
“What a colossal dickweed.” Understatement of the year. “But I don’t understand. What does this have to do with me kissing you?”
Donovan’s gaze finds mine. “I like you, Rune. Maybe too much.”
Now I’ve definitely fallen into an alternate universe. “You…like me? But you think I’m messy. And impulsive. And chaotic.”
“You are all those things,” he says impatiently. “But you’re also beautiful. And talented. And smart. There’s just something about you. I can’t explain.” He waves a hand, dismissing this. “But I don’t get what the hell you see in me. I know I’m not exactly—fun. And that photo, with Cooper on top of you…the way he touched you after the car wreck…” His Adam’s apple moves as he swallows. “It’s stupid, I know. But I can’t help wondering?—”
The light dawns. “You think I’m pretending to hate Officer Asshat? You think I made a bet with him over making out with you?”
Donovan doesn’t answer me, but the half-hopeful, half-resigned look on his face says it all.
Sweet purple ponies on rollerblades. Donovan Frost, Ice Man incarnate, is…shy. And anxious. Who could blame him, after what Cooper put him through?
“Let me clarify a few things.” I raise a single finger. “I know you think I’m a compulsive liar, but I swear on Valentine’s life that I find Officer Asshat too kind a term for your despicable ringworm of a sibling. I have not now, nor at any other time, engaged in a bet with him.”
Finger number two. “I understand very well what it’s like to be bullied for being different, and I would never, ever treat someone else that way.”
Finger number three. “As for what I see in you, I have no idea what you were like in high school, but now? You’re hot as fire. You kiss like you should teach it for a living. And personally?” I gaze up at him through my lashes. “I happen to find smart, shy guys very, very sexy.”
Donovan’s jaw drops, and he shuts it with a snap. “Well, then,” he says hoarsely, and reaches for me.
The energy around us feels charged as his hands close on my waist, pulling me against him. His mouth seals over mine, and his warmth seeps through me, setting my body ablaze. I breathe in his vanilla-and-cedar scent, craving more of it. More of him.
He lifts me onto his desk, heedless of the papers that scatter to the floor. When I wrap my legs around his hips, he makes the low growl that is fast becoming my favorite sound in the world. “I was wrong,” he gasps. “You’re not a chocolate bar with cayenne, Rune. You’re a goddamn addiction.”
And then, with truly diabolical timing, my fourth premonition in forty-eight hours hits.