Chapter 16 – Bellamy
BELLAMY
Istare at him, this powerful man brought down to his knees, and challenge him to act. With my words. With my eyes. With my fucking body that needs more of what he was just doing to me.
“Bellamy.”
“Don’t you dare fucking Bellamy me. You want me just as much as I want you.”
He shakes his head, and for a second, my heart plummets until he says, “More. I want you more. Because I know all the things I want to do to you. You haven’t even begun to imagine them because I am not a good man.”
“Explain,” I say, tossing his word back at him.
“I think you can guess.”
Yes. I can guess. He bit my lip and my shoulder, and I could tell that was him holding back. He’s rough. Animalistic.
A beast.
I have a feeling sex with him would be a delicious, torrid, violent affair filled with lust and passion.
He sees a virgin and thinks I’m timid or afraid, but looking at him, I’m not.
He’ll hurt me. Of that, I have no illusions.
But I also know I’ll never be the same after, and he’s the adventure my body and mind have been seeking all this time.
“I’m in,” I tell him and watch as his eyes widen slightly and his lips part.
Then he smiles. A real, genuine, full-teeth smile. Now, instead of plummeting, my heart explodes. This man doesn’t even know how much of me he already owns.
“You’re in? You don’t even know what you’re saying.”
I roll my eyes at him. “Oh, I think I do. My body may be innocent, but I can assure you, my mind is not. Here, I’ll help you along.” My fingers tug my tucked-in blouse from the top of my skirt before pulling it up and over my head. If he rejects me now, I’ll die. I won’t survive it.
“Fuck,” he hisses when he sees me in my lacy bra.
“What? Don’t pretend you didn’t look down my shirt before and see me like this.”
“Not like this. You were not like this.” Then he gives a self-deprecating laugh. “You knew?”
“I’m a woman, Sebastian. We always know when a man is looking at our tits.”
“Then you must know I do it often.”
“Not like this you don’t.” I reach behind my back and unsnap my bra, letting it slide off my shoulders and fall to the floor beside my blouse.
“Jesus, Bellamy,” he rasps, his eyes half-mast and molten.
He runs his hands over his face and through his hair.
Shakes his head. Gives a small, bemused chuckle.
“My beautiful girl, what are you doing to me? You have no idea what you’re asking for.
” He stares at my chest for a moment before his gaze crawls up my neck to my face. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
He’s not simply speaking about what breaking my hymen is going to feel like.
He’s talking about my heart. Either he’s still in love with his wife and is incapable of love or he’s too broken and is incapable of love.
Or that’s what he’s made himself believe as a method of self-preservation and protection.
Either way, it’s a red flag if ever there was one.
Am I the stupid girl thinking I can be the one to change him? Maybe. I might be her.
But…it’s more than just physical with him. I know it is. Where my heart is terrified, my gut and mind have never been so sure about anything.
“I’ll risk it.”
“Bellamy—”
“Christ, Sebastian.” My hands go to my hair, and I brush it back from my face.
Already feeling too vulnerable standing here half naked without him touching me.
“Stop trying to talk me out of this. I know what this is. I know what you’re saying.
I won’t be your girlfriend and I’ll never be your queen.
Fine. I’m not looking for that from you.
I need love in my life and you’re making it clear you’re not going to be the one to give it to me.
Again, fine. I’m young. I’ll rebound and eventually find a nice, safe, normal guy to give it to me. ”
His hands grasp the backs of my thighs beneath my pushed-up skirt as he stares up into my eyes. “I can’t have you leave. You’re too important to us. To me.”
“That goes for me too. It won’t impact my work with the children. And when this ends, which we both know it will, I’ll manage, and I’ll still make sure it doesn’t impact them.”
He shakes his head as if I’m not getting it.
“I’m not saying this because I don’t want you more than I’ve ever wanted another woman.
I’m saying this because I do. Because one taste of you won’t be enough.
Because I will need you constantly. Because I’m not sure I will ever have the power to stop wanting you now that you’re mine. ”
My heart thunders and my body trembles. My skin feels hot. Achy. Tight. “Then don’t.”
In a flash, he’s back on me. Only he’s not kissing my lips. Well, not the ones on my face anyway. Shoving up my skirt with impatient hands, his face burrows into the V between my legs as his hands glide up and start massaging my ass cheeks.
He takes a deep inhale of me, and I nearly collapse. “Fuck. Your smell. No one has touched you here?” He glances up at me as he brings one hand around, rubbing my slit over my thin satin underwear only to think better of it and tear them from me.
“No.” It’s a gasp. A wheeze. “What are you doing?”
He pockets my underwear. “I want to smell you later when I no longer can. When you’re fast asleep tonight in your bed, I want your pussy on my face while I jerk off.”
“W-what?”
I’m a mess of a woman and this only seems to amuse him.
His tongue sticks out while his eyes hold mine, and he licks me from my opening up to my clit. I die. And turn ten thousand shades of red as he splits my pussy lips and does it again, staring at my pussy this time. His nose presses in on my clit, rubbing back and forth. He’s worshiping me.
A groan drags from his throat. “Beautiful. Your cunt is so pretty. So perfect.”
“What?!” That seems to be all I can say.
“Does this bother you? The way I’m touching you? Talking to you?”
“N-no. I’m just…” About to pass out. And combust. And lose my ever-flipping mind. “I like it.” I do. So freaking much. “I don’t want you to be gentle with me. I don’t want you to hold back.”
He smiles triumphantly at me. As if I’ve just unearthed his greatest secret and now he can breathe for me knowing it.
“You called me a beast, Bellamy, and that is precisely what I am. That is what I want—no, need to be with you. But I’m too wound up right now.
Knowing you’re mine and only mine…knowing I’m the first.” He shakes his head.
“I am not to be contained tonight. So I can’t fuck you. ”
“Oh.”
That’s…insanely disappointing. Because, God, if his fingers and tongue didn’t already feel this un-fucking-believable, the idea of his cock inside of me is legit all I’ve dreamed of since I came here and met him.
Plus, the savage, satisfied, caveman gleam in his eyes is my ultimate undoing.
I’m possessed with it. It has me dripping onto my thighs, that’s how wound up I am with this man.
I want him to break me and then I want to crawl to him for more.
I must have said that aloud because the next thing I know, he’s shoving my thighs apart, flipping one knee over his shoulder, and devouring my pussy like a man starving. His tongue dives inside me, thrusting hard and fast.
“Fuck,” I scream and force myself to swallow more down. I’m in the king’s study. Anyone could enter at any time. A fact he reminds me of when he smacks my clit with the tips of his wet fingers. It makes me jolt. And moan. Loudly. The sting so exquisite, my eyes roll back.
“Hush.”
“I don’t know how,” I protest on a squeak.
“I know, my sweet, but you must try. The last thing I want right now is someone coming to see if I’m finally killing you.”
I laugh and then moan again because he starts licking me, only this time his fingers are sliding up inside me while his tongue plays with my clit.
He scissors his fingers, twisting his wrist back and forth while touching every inch of the inside of me.
It’s as if he’s stretching me. Getting me ready for him. Oh holy wow. That’s…
“So good!”
Understatement. It makes me feel full and heavy, and his tongue…oh, his tongue…
“Don’t stop.”
I’ve made myself come countless times. I’ve even played with a toy here or there. But nothing, and I mean nothing, has ever felt like this. This good. This body-controlling. Mind-bending. Soul-capturing.
I tremble and sigh and squeak and moan and beg and gasp.
I grip his hair, those soft, thick strands of brown in my hands, planting him on the spot I need his lips and teeth and tongue the most. Then I grind into him, a mindless fool taking pleasure from him. I can’t stop. I have to have it, and he’s only too willing to deliver.
“That’s it. Fuck my face, you messy, beautiful girl. Drip all over me.”
“More,” I utter, my head back, eyes closed. I’m so close. I feel the heat curling through my body. The euphoria I seek within my grasp.
“Like this?” He shoves his tongue and fingers inside me.
Both at the same time, his nose pressing in on my clit, and I see stars.
He makes out with my pussy. Long drags and deep kisses and playful flicks and I quake.
I rattle so deep in my bones I know, I fucking know, I will never be the same.
I know no one will ever eat me out this way again.
A king on his knees for me. A king as desperate for me as I am for him.
“Fuck. Yes. Your Majesty. Ah!”
He smacks my ass once. Then again, harder before he squeezes it to all hell. All the while, he fucks me with his fingers, two rough digits that pump in and out of me, stretching me, still scissoring back and forth while his tongue swirls and flicks at my clit.
The sounds he’s making as he eats me, these incredible grunts and groans of satisfaction. The wet, lewd sounds of my pussy as he eats and fucks it. Around and around his tongue swirls before his lips suck my clit straight in and he uses his teeth.