Chapter 17 – Sebastian
SEBASTIAN
Ishould have stopped. I should have walked away the second she threw out that word. Virgin. I should have forced sense back into my mind because she is so young. She is the nanny to my children, and they worship her. I cannot lose that, and no matter what she says, that’s a risk.
A big one.
Here I am, a king. A thirty-six-year-old father of three. A man who swore he would never bring another woman into this nightmare with me. Now look what I’ve done. I stole her. I captured her and made her my own. A woman who is lovelier than any I’ve ever encountered.
Did I just seal her fate as I did Nora’s?
One kiss. One hasty, impulsive, fiery kiss, and I have thrown away months of resistance.
The force with which my body needs her, with which I need her, is too compelling to deny. Toxically, if I’m being honest, her being a virgin gives the sick, depraved beast inside me the most perverse thrill. I am the only one who has touched her. I am the only one who has given her pleasure.
I am the one.
No one else.
And there will be no one else as long as I have blood in my veins.
I can’t stand it…that thought. It sends something sharp clawing through my chest. Another man cannot touch what is mine. A man like Samil. No. I may like it rough, and I might want to do unholy things to her body, but I am not him. Where there is pain there is also pleasure. There is also worship.
Even if having to control myself with her is nothing short of torturous.
Her hand around my cock, her eyes, those sweet, innocent, beguiling blue eyes, on mine. I don’t deserve her. This perfect creature.
But it’s past time for second-guessing this.
I stare down at my gorgeous girl, on her knees for me, and know what a lucky bastard I am.
I might have gotten a bit rough, but she took it and she’s still here, wanting more.
It’s been ages since a woman has whimpered at my touch.
Now that she has, I’m obsessed with the notion of making her do it over and over for me.
“By fun and adventurous, you mean something like this?” Her touch zings through me, reverberating along my spine and drawing my balls up as she squeezes my cock and continues to jerk me.
A coy smile curls her lips, and she leans in and licks my crown, swirling her tongue around it, slipping into the slit.
My breath hitches and a victorious smile plays on her lips just before she takes me in deep. As far as she can go, making herself gag. That sound. Her gagging on my cock. The swallow that follows.
Fuuuck. I groan low and deep as she works me.
The heat of her wet mouth and the suction of her cheeks and the swirl of her tongue and even the barest hint of her teeth make my vision go blurry.
Her mouth on me is nothing short of heaven.
It’s been forever since I’ve felt this sort of wet heat on me and even then, it never felt like this.
“I don’t know. Is that the best you can do?
” I tease on a shaky rasp and love how her eyes narrow up at me.
And like a good girl who loves a challenge, she cups my balls and starts fondling them.
My hands meet her shoulder, and my head falls back, my eyes closing only to reopen, and I drop my chin, unwilling to miss a moment of her like this.
She bobs her head a few times, trying to take me deeper, and when she loses her breath, she pulls back and starts pumping me again.
It’s the worst, most exquisite form of torture.
Especially when she takes my wet cock and slides it between her tits.
Tits I haven’t even begun to taste or explore or ruin myself on.
“What about this? Does this count as fun?”
“Rub me against your nipple.”
She tilts her head, her hair falling over her shoulder, the glow of the fire playing all over her pale bare skin. “I thought you said I was in control.”
“Is that truly what you want?”
She hesitates. Because yes, part of her does.
Part of her likes control a lot. She’s had none for so long, and the concept of me stripping that from her scares her.
But a bigger part of her loves what my being in control does to her.
It’s our game. The dynamic we’ve built. I set the rules and she fights back.
Never one to be submissive, she still wants me to be dominant with her.
When she doesn’t answer, I say, “If you let go just a little with me, just with this, I will fill your body with pleasure and your mind with peace.”
Her lips form a perfect O. “But what of the things I want? The fantasies I have. Or if I don’t like something?”
My fingers trail along her face, memorizing it. “If you don’t like something, you tell me. I will stop immediately and never do it again. As for your fantasies, I want nothing more than to give them all to you. And I will. But you also have to trust me.”
She rubs my aching dick along her nipple as I asked, first one and then the other before bringing it back between her breasts.
I stare down, watching as I disappear between the heavy weight of her tits.
She drops her chin, her tongue licking my head as it reappears and the precum leaking from it.
Jesus fuck, there has never been a sexier sight than this.
“Will you do something for me?” she asks, gazing up at me.
Is she kidding? “Anything.”
“I want what you said. The thought of you like that with me turns me on. It’s why I said I don’t want you to be gentle.
I don’t. I want you and that means taking everything you have to give without holding yourself back or hiding who you are.
So that goes for me, too, right…and…will you…
um…” She nervously licks her lips. “Will you come on me?”
I groan and die, my head falling back and my eyes closing in something that resembles total and complete defeat.
“Is that a good or bad reaction?”
I smile, though she can’t see it. “Good.”
“Good, because something about it when I’ve seen it in porn looks seriously hot and dirty to me.”
My chin drops, and I give her a deadly stare. “If you keep speaking like that, I’m going to come much sooner than either of us would like.”
She squints up at me. “Still quick on the draw, huh?”
I chuckle. This woman. This fucking woman. “Come with me.”
Reaching down, I grasp her under her arm and pull her up.
She’s still in her skirt, and though I’ve seen her pussy, I haven’t seen her fully naked.
Something tells me when I do, there will be no more holding back.
That when she’s finally bare for me, that will be it, and I will take her and make her all mine.
I lie down on the couch on my back and direct her hips, making her straddle my face from behind, setting her sweet cunt directly over my lips.
She lets out a girlish protest when she realizes how open and exposed this makes her to me.
A point I go on to prove when I spread her ass cheeks and bring my tongue to her tight ring of muscles in the back.
She squirms, attempting to pull herself away, but I loop my arm around her waist and hold her to me. Inhaling her. It’s as if I’ve been given the keys to paradise and God has granted me full access to what I want. Her.
She is all I want. All I will ever want. My heart, I reluctantly admit, she owns, as she does the rest of me.
Never have I been with a woman like this, so free, so open, but I can’t find it in me to be with Bellamy any other way.
She wouldn’t have me any other way. Isn’t that what she said?
She wants me as I am? Years and decades of holding in who and what I want, and I no longer have to fight it.
I am finally living out the wilds of my mind with a woman who awakened it the moment my eyes met hers.
“What are you doing?”
“Trust me, Bellamy. There is no part of your body I don’t desire. I think you’re the most beautiful woman in the world. Don’t deny me this. Don’t deny me you.”
“But…it’s—”
“I know what it is.” I lick her again to prove my point. “Didn’t you mention something about having me come on you?” I smack her ass, compelling her to act and stop overthinking.
My tongue dives inside her opening as my upper lip arches up, brushing against her clit that is growing plumper with blood and need. Another sound, this one a long, low moan, and her mouth is back on my cock.
I am once again a dead man.
My nose bumps into her asshole, and she shudders, shaking and shy with a hint of embarrassment for it. I don’t care. She’ll soon learn there is no part of her body I won’t explore or claim.
My lips capture her clit, sucking it in my mouth as her hand pumps my wet cock up and down, playing with me.
Licking me. Teasing me. Destroying me. She cries out for more.
My name on her lips as I eat her out with sloppy greediness.
She is so wet and hot, and I want to fuck her so badly.
So fucking badly to the point where I’m in agony.
Actual physical pain from not flipping her around as she begs for me to give her more.
I’d barely fit in her, but then I’d make all that pain better by showing her just how good my cock will feel inside of her.
How hard it can make her come.
Sounds tumble from both of us, pleasure skyrocketing through me, and I know I can’t hold off much longer. It’s been too long and she’s too innocent and tastes too good and I want her, I want her, I want her. I fucking need her. Forever. I never want this to end, and I never want to let her go.
Without warning, she’s coming. A keening, whimpering sort of noise hums around my dick from her lips.
She grinds down on me, moving her clit against my lips as I suck and lick it, her pussy convulsing around the fingers I just slipped inside of her.
As she starts to come down from her high, she jacks me harder and faster until I explode.
Shatter.
Splinter apart as hot spurts of cum shoot out of me.
I growl, my back arching and my fist clenching as I hold her. I can feel her skin against the tip of my cock as she positions me, and that only drives me higher, her wanting me to mark her.
When I’ve exhausted every ounce and sag back onto the sofa, she slides off me while I lie here, immobile, my brain not functioning in the least. I feel her rub her chest against my cock as if she’s painting her tits with the cum I just sprayed her with.
All I know is I hold my hand out to her, begging for her body to be against mine, and she complies instantly, settling in against me and letting me hold her close.
Her full, creamy tits coated in my cum press against me, and I laugh.
“What’s funny?” she asks dreamily, her head on my shoulder as I tuck her between me and the cushions.
“I’m in my suit.”
“I know. You’re always in that fucking thing. Even when you’re not.”
I blink open my eyes and find evidence of my release still on her.
If I thought the sight of my dick between her tits was the sexiest thing I’d ever seen, this takes it up a notch.
I use the jacket of my suit to clean her up, having a little fun with her nipples as I do, and then I shuck it off and drape it over her so she’s warm.
I hold her, my nose in her hair breathing in the scent of summer and sunshine that is all Bellamy. Her finger absently toys with a button on my shirt, and I think and think and think. I think for so long I’m not sure if she’s asleep or not, but I finally force myself to utter, “A compromise.”
She stiffens against me, likely because my body seizes up.
Dread spikes through me, erasing all the comfort I had just been indulging in.
I’m losing my mind. That must be it. One orgasm, those gorgeous tits, that perfect cunt, and she has me rethinking everything I’ve spent the last three years fighting.
“A compromise, Your Majesty,” she whispers, but her tone is firm. “Tomorrow the weather is supposed to be beautiful. What if we set up a picnic outdoors away from the palace? It can be any location you and your guards deem safe. Just…off the palace grounds.”
“A picnic?” I test the word. Thinking of Sabrina’s face when I told her no to the autumn festival. Thinking of the elation I would see in my children if we did something like that.
“Yes. I’d suggest a bouncy house or some small rides or games, but I’m afraid of pushing my luck.”
“A bouncy house? What is that?”
“They’re large inflatable things that kids climb into and jump around in. Maybe they’re called something else here. I don’t know.”
I tilt my head, finding her eyes. “And that’s fun?”
She’s working to hide her grin. “Not so much for adults, but for children, yes.”
I blow out an uneven breath. As much as I can’t handle the notion of my children anywhere other than this palace, I know she has a point.
What she’s told me about my children has not escaped my attention.
These are the first months since their mother died that light has returned to their eyes.
They’ve smiled more. They’ve laughed more.
They’ve been silly, asking curious and thoughtful questions about things Bellamy has taught them.
Things about art and science and mythology and the planets and food and different cultures.
They need more, they need to grow and thrive and experience, and I’m holding them here. “I can’t…” I blow out another shaky breath. “They have to be safe.”
“I know.” She cups my jaw, staring into me with promises I pray she doesn’t break. “We’ll make sure they are.”
We. As in us. I know that’s not what she’s inferring. I heard what she said before about needing love and how she knows she’ll never be my queen and that she wants to end up with a nice, safe, normal man. All of which I am not.
Does it make me selfish that I want to keep her with me anyway?
“Is that a yes, Your Majesty?” she asks, oblivious to my inner turmoil.
Your Majesty. Not Sebastian, and certainly not Seb. We are back to this despite our physical state.
I have no further argument. Not with her touching me, pleading with me. Not with my thoughts as chaotic as they are.
“A picnic. A bouncy house, or whatever you call it.”
“Thank you.” A smile lights up her sweet face, and with it, I become hers.
Horror sweeps through me.
What have I done?
By making her mine, I have sealed her fate as I did Nora’s.
Bellamy is not my queen. She is something infinitely more precious to me, which almost makes this worse. By acting impulsively, she is at risk. Now it’s more than my children I must protect, it’s her as well. Because just as I cannot lose my children, I cannot lose her.
Only I have no idea how I’m going to do that when I feel like at any second she’s about to slip through my fingers.