Chapter 4
Elariya
“The Binding Beneath Bone”
The dining hall was huge, but it felt smaller with all of us gathered around the table.
Grandmother, Mother, Emabelle, Thayden, and me.
We’d just sat down for dinner.
The last rays of daylight bled through the tall windows in long, slanting bands, turning the polished oak the color of old honey. Grandmother had already lit the candles, and their flames trembled in the window glass like tiny, nervous hearts.
This room had always been a place of comfort. Laughter. Arguments that never lasted. Now it felt like a stage, and every one of us was playing a role we hadn’t chosen.
My mother moved between the table and the hearth, setting down platters with habitual grace. The scent of roasted meatloaf filled the air, rich and savory, followed by the sweetness of warm fruit crumble dusted with sugar, cinnamon, and spice. My favorites.
I had a feeling she’d made them on purpose. To try to calm me down.
It might have worked if I weren’t so rattled from last night.
I hadn’t slept a wink. And it was obvious.
All day, I’d walked around like a ghoul.
For dinner, I tried to make myself look presentable in one of my finest dresses and gathered my hair back into a neat ponytail, but I looked like I’d been dragged through all six hells and then some.
“Eat while it’s hot.” Mother smiled gently, spooning a generous portion onto my plate. Her smile was more careful with me, though, the kind she wore when she was trying not to let worry show.
Across from me, Thayden sat straight-backed and composed, already cutting into his meal as if he belonged here. As if he always had.
He wore dark formal leathers despite the intimacy of the setting, his presence commanding without effort. When he glanced at me, his expression softened, but the firmness still lingered in his eyes.
I gave him a weak smile—it was the best I could muster.
Emabelle was beside me, close enough that our elbows brushed. She picked at her food, eyes downcast, shoulders tense. She had not spoken since we sat down, and that alone set my nerves on edge. Emabelle never stayed quiet for long.
Grandmother sat at the head of the table, hands folded and eyes sharp as they tracked every movement.
I’d wanted to speak to her about the dream that wasn’t a dream, but Thayden had been circling like a vulture, never leaving the room long enough or far enough for me to have a private conversation.
I didn’t even want to think about what he’d say or do if he heard us having a conversation about magic, let alone me feeling like I’d had some sort of out-of-body experience.
Thayden believed my powers were bound, like every magic-born person in the mortal lands.
He knew I cast a spell to find my father. But he only knew because my family wouldn’t have been able to explain away the sigil on my wrist.
Gods, I hated this.
The secrets. The lies. The suffocating discomfort.
I hated all of it. Everyone was on edge. And I felt like my brain was going to implode.
“This turned out well,” Thayden said, nodding toward the platter, then looking at Mother. “You’ve outdone yourself again.”
My mother inclined her head, pleased despite herself. “It’s Elariya’s favorite.”
I flinched at the sound of my name, though no one else seemed to notice.
“Thanks, Mother.” I gave her a gentle smile.
Thayden returned his gaze to me. “You’ve always had a fondness for comfort food.”
I loathed at ease he sounded. He’d spoken as if we’d shared meals like this in the past. Maybe we had.
Mother took her seat at last, smoothing her apron before folding her hands in her lap. “The market’s been lively this week,” she said lightly. “More traders passing through than usual. I suppose people are stocking up.”
“Before prices increase,” Grandmother added, glancing toward the window, where sunlight caught in the glass. “Everyone is restless during this time of uncertainty.”
“I suppose so.” Mother nodded, her mouth tightening just a fraction.
“Nothing ever balances when power shifts,” Grandmother murmured.
“It won’t be so bad,” Thayden said in a hearty voice. “Prince Maelor will make a fine king. People just panic because they fear change.”
Of course, he would say that. Families like his only stood to gain from Prince Maelor’s ascension.
“You’re right, dear,” Grandmother agreed, then reached for her fork and pointed it at me. “Eat, Elariya. You need your strength.”
“I’m eating.” I lifted a helping of the meatloaf to prove it.
Her pale eyes lingered on me a moment longer than necessary before she looked away.
I took a bite, forcing myself to chew.
Conversation moved carefully around me. Mother spoke more about the market, then Grandmother mentioned the weather turning and the first signs of this year’s crops. Thayden filled the silences with polite observations.
Emabelle remained silent. So did I.
I lowered my gaze to my plate and ate because it was expected of me, because this was what normal looked like. But beneath my facade, something coiled tightly in my stomach.
Thoughts of last night returned, circling endlessly through the cracks in my mind I couldn’t seal. If I was right and the dream wasn’t a dream, what actually happened?
I had been somewhere.
Where did I go?
And what did that mean?
I’d felt the pull from the forest, but that gray place was somewhere else.
Then there was my wrist. The sting had faded hours ago, but something deeper still lingered.
I resisted the urge to turn my arm over and stare at the mark, certain that if I did, someone would notice.
Ziyka.
The name brushed against my thoughts like a half-remembered melody.
What or who was Ziyka?
What did any of it mean?
I swallowed my food and forced myself to take another bite, though it tasted of nothing.
Thayden laughed, and everyone else followed. Emabelle nudged me under the table, but I couldn’t even pretend to find whatever I’d missed funny.
Thayden’s gaze slid back to me, sharp despite the easy smile still on his face. “You missed that.”
Heat crept up my neck. “Sorry. My mind must have drifted.”
“It happens,” he replied, still pleasant but his voice stiff. “You’ve been overly quiet today.”
Everyone at the table seemed to still at once.
Mother reached for her glass, suddenly very interested in her drink. Emabelle’s knee pressed gently against mine beneath the table, a silent warning.
“I’m just tired,” I said, resting my hands on the table. “I didn’t sleep well.”
Thayden nodded, as though that answer satisfied him. “Try to relax and get some better sleep tonight.”
“I will.”
He set his fork down and folded his hands, his posture shifting from casual to composed in a way that drew the room’s attention back to him without effort. “I’ll be leaving tomorrow morning at first light. I’ll be gone for a week.”
Hope sparked inside my heart. A week without him was exactly what we all needed.
“A patrol?” Mother asked.
“Yes,” Thayden replied. “Prince Maelor wants a full report on the eastern routes. There’s been some unrest; he’s tightening oversight.
I’ll leave some men here to make sure everything is okay, but I’ll be back on the eve of the night before we depart for the capitol, so we can travel together for the wedding. ”
We’d have seven full days without him. The break was much needed, but the thought of the wedding drawing closer gave me palpitations.
I had fond memories of visiting the capital with my family when I was a child. It was a shame my wedding would never be one of them.
“It will be a joyous event.” Mother raised her mug and smiled fondly at both of us.
“I agree.” Thayden glanced at me. “I just wish I weren’t working so hard in the run-up to the wedding. But duty calls.”
Grandmother looked Thayden over with warm pride. “You’re always so diligent.” She inclined her head. “The kingdom is fortunate to have you on the King’s Guard.”
Thayden accepted the praise with practiced ease. “I appreciate that.” Then his mouth curved. “But I won’t always be this busy. I plan to slow down once Elariya and I start a family. I want to be around more for our children.”
My stomach turned, a rolling sickness that crept up my throat and made the room tilt.
Children.
The word echoed in my head, wrong in a way I couldn’t name. I pressed my fingers to the edge of the table, willing myself to stay still.
Mother noticed straightaway.
“Elariya?” she asked gently. “Are you all right, love? You look a little pale.”
All eyes turned to me.
“I’m fine,” I said automatically. Then the lie curdled on my tongue and the room suddenly felt too warm and suffocating. “I… think I just need some air. My head hurts.”
Thayden’s gaze sharpened.
“If you don’t mind,” I added, because I didn’t know how to stop performing. “I think I should go outside for a little while then head to bed.”
“Of course,” Mother said, already shifting in her chair. “Would you like me to sit with you for a while?”
“No.” I forced a small smile. “I’m just going to the garden. I’ll be fine.”
I pushed my chair back carefully and stood.
“Give us a shout if you need anything.”
I nodded and turned away, keeping my steps measured as I crossed the hall.
I kept my head high and my steps steady until I reached the doorway. Only then did I allow myself to breathe.
I rushed through the kitchen and headed outside into the crisp spring air. The chill from the approaching night was sharp enough to cut through the heaviness pressing in on my chest.
Gods be good. What in the hells was I going to do?
Whatever Thayden imagined for our future, my body had already rejected it.
Marriage and children.
I didn’t want any of that with him.
I barely made it to the rose hedge before the back door opened.
I felt him before I saw him, the way the air seemed to tighten around his presence.
Footsteps crossed the flagstones. I turned, and there he was.
Thayden stood outside the doorway for a heartbeat, framed by the dim light of the kitchen behind him, and something on his face made my blood run cold.
He wasn’t smiling.