Chapter 17
Visions of Ahmad when I’d masturbated was one thing. I hadn’t had sex in a while, and he was the last man I’d seen. It was an honest subconscious mistake. But thinking about Ahmad while kissing Lennox unsettled me. I was actively kissing a man, so there was no logical reason for me to be thinking of Ahmad when Lennox was right there. But after a good night’s sleep, I came to the conclusion that because Ahmad was the only man I’d connected with and had great conversation with over the summer, the lines blurred. It meant nothing. And to prove it meant nothing, I made my time with Lennox more intentional.
And it worked.
Even though I knew we were in the getting-to-know-you stage, I felt like I’d known Lennox for years. There was so much about his life that he’d shared with me. Between texts and video chats, we were on the phone constantly. The more I learned about him, the more I wanted to know. I was so interested in him that I stopped engaging with other men from the app. I still set up a date for the last Friday before my birthday weekend, but I didn’t talk to him much. That was my in-case-of-emergency-backup-last-ditch-effort meetup. My birthday was eight days away, and I was almost certain that I had found what I was looking for.
“And for our second time getting together and our first official date, this is the look I’m going for…” I announced excitedly as I turned my phone’s camera to the mirror.
“Yes!” Nina exclaimed. “That’s definitely the one.”
The forest-green silk dress with the thin spaghetti straps had a slit exposing my thigh. The ruching in the middle accentuated my waist, and the shade looked so good against my mocha-colored skin. The strappy black shoes with the cute black clutch completed the look.
I propped the phone up and then backed up. “Do you think it’s too much?” I wondered, striking a pose.
“For where he’s taking you? Absolutely not.”
Lennox was taking me to one of the trendiest spots in the city. It was hard to get a reservation, but somehow, he managed to secure us a table at Cloverleaf. With live music, cool vibes, and a celebrity chef, it was the premier place to be. Although it was expensive, I heard it was worth it. I’d never been there before, so my excitement was at an all-time high.
“You’re ready early, aren’t you?” she wondered. “I thought you were meeting him at eight thirty.”
“I am. But I’m heading over to Onyx first.”
Nina didn’t say anything, but the smirk on her face spoke volumes.
“What?” I pressed.
“You’re going to see Ahmad, the bartender you claim is just a friend, before you go on a date with Lennox, the man you claim to really like? Interesting.”
“How is that interesting? Just like I called you before my date, I’m doing the same thing with Ahmad.”
“Oh yeah, it’s the exact same,” she said sarcastically.
“It is! I’m just going to update him since he’s been an integral part of my dating process.”
“You could update him when you get back from your date… unless you don’t plan on coming back home tonight.”
I laughed. “I plan on coming back home because it’s the first time we’ll be on a real date. Last Friday, we met and had a great time, but this is the first official date, and I don’t want to send the wrong message.”
“And what message is that?”
“That I’m just looking for sex.”
“But you two talk all the time, why would he think that? You two have been getting to know each other, right?”
“Yeah… I guess I’m just not ready to take it there yet.”
I couldn’t put my finger on why I didn’t feel like I was ready to have sex with him. But I knew it wasn’t time.
“What are you doing tonight?” I questioned, changing the subject.
“I’m pulling up to my parents’ house right now,” Nina answered. “I’m not going to be able to do dinner with them on Sunday, so I told them I’d make it tonight.”
“That sounds nice!”
“Yeah, it will be. Dad put steaks on the grill. But let me tell you…”
She told me about her plans for the rest of the weekend and my jaw was on the floor. Nina was the epitome of fun; there was no doubt about it.
We concluded our conversation about fifteen minutes later, and five minutes after that, I was headed out the door. I still had about ninety minutes before my date with Lennox. And even though Nina’s words swirled around in my head, I still felt compelled to go to Onyx. It had become my Friday-night routine.
Nothing more. Nothing less.
I pushed the door open to enter Onyx, and my eyes widened at the crowd that had already gathered. It was barely seven o’clock, and the place was packed. A man I didn’t recognize greeted me when I approached the bar.
“Hi!” I flashed him a smile as I gestured around. “Something special going on tonight?”
“I’m pretty sure almost everyone here”—he pointed to the far corner—“works at that bank a couple of blocks up. They’re having a happy hour meetup to celebrate something. What can I get you?”
“Oh, nothing, um…” I looked around. “Actually, is Ahmad here?”
“Nah.” He looked down the bar at a man waving. “If you decide to order something, wave me down.”
He left to do his job, and I was left confused.
I almost pulled out my phone to double-check that it was Friday. I looked around and finally caught a glimpse of Afro puffs moving through the crowd.
“Asia!” I called out as she grew closer. “Everything okay?”
“No. We’re swamped, some of those bankers are assholes, and I can’t get ahold of my parents,” she answered as she breezed by me and made her way behind the bar. “Sorry.” She exhaled loudly, concern still etched across her face. “I didn’t mean to dump all that on you. Hot date tonight?” She glanced at my outfit. “I love your dress.”
“Thanks. I appreciate it! But I’m sorry you’re going through it tonight.” I looked around. “It’s crazy how busy it is. I hope either it slows down just a little or you get some more help so you’re not running around.”
“From your lips to God’s ears. Ahmad told me to look out for you.” She gestured around as she forced a smile. “It may be a little harder tonight because of the crowd, but I’m here. What can I get you?”
“Nothing. Thanks, though. I was just looking for Ahmad to give him an update.”
“He’s not here.” A woman waving money at her caught her attention. “He’s at General,” she added distractedly.
“General?” I repeated. My stomach plummeted as I connected the dots of what she’d said. “The hospital? Why? What happened?”
“He went to the ER. Car accident.”
Everything stopped as her words echoed in my ears. “Is—is he okay?”
“I don’t know. I mean, yes. I just got off the phone with him and he said he was. But”—she shook her head, blinking tears away—“he’s fine.” She moved down the bar to get to the woman. I followed her. “I can’t get in touch with Mom and Dad to go check on him, so I told him to call me when he leaves.” She shifted her gaze to the woman. “Sorry for the wait. How can I help you?”
I had so many questions.
I wanted to ask which hospital—General East or General West.
I wanted to ask for his phone number.
I wanted to ask if it involved another car.
The questions kept infiltrating my brain, but Asia was busy.
He’s okay,I assured myself. He’s okay. She said he said he was okay.
But I couldn’t stop thinking about how she started to say something and then stopped.
But what, Asia?
I stared at the woman, who wasn’t as bubbly as she usually was. Her normal chipper demeanor was clouded with concern, and maybe no one else would notice, but I’d spent enough time at Onyx to know her smile was off.
My mind was racing as I waited a couple of minutes for her to give me more information. But as soon as she finished one drink, someone else was ordering another. I had a date, so I couldn’t wait for her much longer, and the way people were flocking to the bar, it was clear she wasn’t going to have time to talk for a while. Wringing my hands, I shifted my weight from one foot to the other, unsure of what to do.
Do I wait around, or do I check back after my date?
Operating on autopilot, I ran out of the bar and crossed the street to my building’s parking garage. I had a date with a man I was really enjoying getting to know, and we were going to a place I’d never been to before. Even still, I knew I’d be worried about Ahmad the whole time.
“I should’ve left my number with Asia,” I muttered under my breath as I started my car.
Pulling out of the deck, I had every intention of heading to Cloverleaf. It didn’t really register where I was going until I pulled up in front of the closest hospital.
Picking up my phone, I called Lennox. I sped into the parking deck and searched for the first open parking spot. The phone ringing only added to my anxiety. As soon as he answered, the words spilled out of me.
“A good friend of mine is in the hospital, and I’m so sorry to do this, but I’m not going to make it tonight,” I blurted out instead of hello.
“What?”
“I’m sorry, Lennox. I just got to the hospital. I really do hate to do this.”
“Aw, man…” He let out a loud breath. “It sucks, but I understand. Take care of your friend.”
“Thank you. I’ll give you a call later.”
“Aight.”
He disconnected the call without saying goodbye. It was the first time he’d done that, and it stung a bit. But I couldn’t hold on to the feeling for long. The worry I felt in my core superseded anything else. Shoving the phone into my bag, I hopped out of the car and ran through the sliding emergency room door.
“Ma’am.” The security guard stopped me. “You need some help?”
I guess I looked as frantic as I felt.
“I-I’m looking for a friend of mine,” I stammered, casting my gaze around the waiting room. “He…” My voice broke and trailed off as I tried to get my words together.
“Okay.” He pulled his pants up by the belt. “We’ll do what we can to help. Just take your time. These floors can be slippery so”—he gestured to my feet—“just slow down.”
Tears stung my eyes, and I nodded.
“Who are you looking for?” he asked as I turned away from him to scan the lobby. “What’s the name? If they’re here, the people at intake will be able to help you.”
Loudly tapping against the desk, he drew my attention back to him.
“What does he look like?” he asked.
I blinked rapidly. “He’s tall, muscular, sponge curls—”
“Was he wearing jeans and a white polo shirt?”
“I’m not sure.”
He looked just above my hair. “Is that your guy?”
I whipped my head around, and the moment I laid eyes on him, I felt relief. He was walking away from the registration desk with his head down, staring at paperwork. Barely holding on to his jacket as he studied the papers in his hands. He didn’t look up until I was a few feet in front of him. When I saw the huge bloody bandage high on his right arm, I stopped in my tracks.
“Aaliyah?” Ahmad’s tone matched the shock on his face. “What are you doing here?”
“Are you okay?” I asked, taking a tentative step toward him. “Asia said you were at the hospital, and I just… Are you okay?”
“Just a little banged up, but I’m fine.” His eyes swept down my body. “What are you doing here?”
“I…” My mouth went dry. I didn’t have an answer that made sense. “I don’t know,” I answered honestly. “I just heard you were in the hospital and just…”
Our eyes locked, and he seemed to be trying to pull the rest of the sentence out of me. But I couldn’t find the words. I couldn’t find any words.
“Just what?” His voice was soft and his gaze questioning. “Why are you here?”
“You’ve been there for me all summer and”—I shifted from one foot to the other—“I just felt compelled to be here for you, too.”
He lifted his hand to touch the bandage, and I noticed the black band on his finger.
“You’ve been such a good friend to me, so I wanted to show up and be the same to you,” I explained in a rush.
“You didn’t have to show up here to prove your friendship, Aaliyah,” he replied quietly. “You’re good.” He reached out and let his fingers slide down my arm. “You’re—”
Taking in a sharp breath, I took a step back.
His touch ignited my body, and electricity coursed through me.
“I-I’m-I’m sorry,” I stammered. “I shouldn’t have come. I should go.”
“No, don’t… don’t be sorry.”
“Ahmad Williamson?” a nurse called out from behind a set of double doors.
Breaking eye contact, he shifted his attention away from me, and I felt like I could breathe again.
“Go, go,” I told him. “Take care of yourself. I shouldn’t—I should go.”
“Come back with me.”
My eyebrows flew up. “What?”
“Come on.”
“You want me to come? Why?” I whispered, unsure of what to do.
He twisted his lips and pointed to his arm. “Blood makes me squeamish, remember?”
Handing me his jacket, he started moving toward the waiting nurse. Without another word, I fell into step with him as we headed to the back.
Gripping the lightweight jacket, I quietly followed them to a small room with a curtain for a door. He sat on the bed in the middle of the room, and I immediately tucked myself into the farthest corner. As his vitals were taken, I tried to make myself as invisible as possible as he answered all her questions. I tried to make it seem like I wasn’t listening, but I was.
She was finishing the last question when the doctor walked in.
After a quick introduction and some pleasantries, Dr. Myers eyed the injury on his arm. “So, tell me a little about what happened, Mr. Williamson.”
“It was a car accident. I wasn’t driving. I was in the back of a rideshare. Someone hit us, less than a mile from here, and I got cut with a piece of metal. The driver”—he shook his head—“man, he looked pretty bad. I just had this little opening on my arm, and once I got bandaged up, I didn’t think it was that serious.” He gestured to his arm. “But after the paramedics left, I was waiting for my sister to come and get me and I realized my arm might’ve been worse than we thought. So I told her to just head to work because I was heading here.”
“How did you get here?” the doctor wondered.
“I walked.”
I put my hand to my mouth and sadness tugged at me. The thought of him walking down the street, basically bleeding out, because he didn’t drive was heartbreaking to me.
“I can’t believe you walked,” I said quietly.
“It wasn’t that far from here,” he explained. “I didn’t want to get blood all over someone’s car and it was only a few blocks.”
“Okay, let’s see what’s going on. We want to make sure it doesn’t get infected.” The doctor peeled back the bandage on Ahmad’s right arm, and blood gushed. “Oh! Okay!” He added gauze and quickly reattached the bandage. The nurse cleaned the blood that dribbled toward his elbow. “You are certainly going to need sutures. I need to get a couple of things to get started. Change into this gown for me, and we’ll get you patched up. Then we’ll get some blood and run some labs to make sure you’re not infected. We’ll also get you a tetanus booster shot. I’ll be back.”
As soon as they left, Ahmad turned to look at me. “Wow.”
“Worried about the blood work?” I guessed.
He made a face. “I can show you the paperwork from my physical a couple weeks ago. I have a clean bill of health.”
“I meant because of the fact that some random dirty metal pierced your skin.”
“Ohhh!” He let out a light chuckle. “I’m trippin’.”
I cocked my head to the side. “What did you think I was talking about?”
I knew full well what he was talking about, but I wanted him to say it.
“I might have a concussion,” he stated, changing the subject abruptly. “What time is your date?”
“What makes you think I have a date?”
“That dress.”
I posed. “What? This old thing?”
He eyed me from head to toe, setting my body on fire. “You look good.”
My nipples hardened under the attention. “Thank you.”
His gaze lingered, stirring desire within me and quickening my heart rate. I noticed him noticing my nipples pressing against the material and pointing at him. I noticed him taking in the sneak peek of my thick thigh, exposed by the high slit of the dress. But most notably, I noticed the unmasked want flit across his face as he took me in. Unable to take my eyes off him, I noticed a lot. And it only occurred to me after the fact that he could probably see the same longing on my face.
“I mean it. You look good.” He watched me fidget under the intensity of his stare. “Really good.”
I crossed my arms over my chest and pulled his jacket closer to me. His cologne hit my nostrils, and I inhaled deeply. A chill ran through me, and I shuddered. He licked his lips. “If you’re cold, you can wear the jacket.” He shook his head. “I’m sorry I didn’t think to offer sooner. I mean, I don’t know how it’ll go with your… dress.” He looked me up and down again. “But it’ll keep you warm at least.”
Needing an opportunity to breathe, I ripped my eyes away from him and I held the black jacket out in front of me. “Thanks.”
I pulled it to see if it had a good stretch to it. Realizing it would fit, I slipped it on. I knew it wouldn’t look good with the dress, but I was a little chilly in that cold, sterile hospital.
Looking up at him, I tried to make a joke of our moment and struck a pose. “How do I look? Am I making it work?”
“You look good. But if I’m honest, it’s hard for you not to look good.”
I gave him a suspicious look. “You know… that might be the first real compliment you’ve ever given me.”
“I was just in a car accident and I’m probably not thinking clearly, so…”
Amused, I let out an exasperated sound. “Or maybe it just knocked some sense into you.”
He let out a short chuckle before wincing, touching the bandage. “Too soon.”
My hands flew to my chest. “Be careful.”
“It’s okay.”
“But are you okay?” Taking a cautious step forward, I assessed him. “You didn’t answer me when I asked before.”
“Yeah, it probably looks worse than it is. I just need stitches, and it’ll be fine.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
He held my gaze, but he didn’t speak.
“Are you okay?” I asked again. Getting a little closer, I reached out and touched his hand.
His brown eyes felt like they were burning into mine. “I’m fine,” he said with just enough uncertainty to let me know he wasn’t.
“Okay,” I whispered, giving him a reassuring pat. “But if you weren’t, I would understand.”
He didn’t take his eyes off me.
The silence between us wasn’t uncomfortable, but it was tense. I knew he wasn’t angry, but I couldn’t place the emotion that was emanating from him. Whatever it was, it drew me in. My feet didn’t move, but my soul did. I was in the moment with him, and there was something so open and vulnerable about it. The intensity of his stare was overwhelming, and as hard as I tried to look away, I couldn’t.
I felt something. I felt it so intensely that it scared me.
My lips parted, and a huff of air escaped.
Clearing his throat, he reached his right arm up and grabbed the back of his shirt at the neck and pulled it over his head. When the fabric cleared his face, I saw him grimacing.
“You want some help?” I asked, stepping forward.
“Nah, I think I got it,” he responded, pulling the shirt over his shoulder.
Ignoring him, I carefully helped him remove it from his injured arm without disrupting the bandage. It wasn’t until I had the shirt clutched to me that I noticed how very shirtless he was.
It began innocently enough as I studied his injury on his very defined bicep. Slowly, my head moved, and I zeroed in on his muscular chest and ripped abs. His smooth, toffee-colored skin looked like candy under the fluorescent hospital lighting. It was the first time I saw his tattoos up close. My eyes followed the way they snaked down his arm from his shoulder. When my tongue ran across my lips, I realized I was no longer checking on him. I was checking him out.
And I was very attracted to what was in front of me.
Shit!